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Austin Campbell Dec 2019
feel lost within’ yourself,

it’s scary
because you attack yourself,
left alone in self-containment,
the blood flecks the inner walls
and you see red;
shutting out other voices,
you fall far and fast -

the self becomes as vast and terrifying as outer space,
a cage becomes a spaceship;
given the tools to survive
until you run out of oxygen,
beating yourself into submission
only to realize how, ******-faced,
a self-made martyr
floods the causeway without recourse to part the tide...
no way to progress -
to shepherd yourself through the grim darkness and uncertainty,
locked in what feels like
an eternal battle:
depressed, anxious, lonely, tired -
the vandals of personalities past and present -
come to me for round one, two, three,
wash away in the silt fragments
of time that elude me,
slip through the cracks in my brain and disappear
only to implode
when it feels like you need them the least
(because that’s life).
do you let the shards of self-pity shatter you?

do you let the tide close in on both sides
and consume you whole?

do you **** a mind that seems to never learn
what it means to love itself properly?

or do you write and hope the phantom pain,
the biting cynicism,
the bitten tongue,
the burning trauma
die down for the time being?

there is no answer.

or else you’d find it
tattooed on each cerebral
coded into the DNA
that malfunctions perfectly
to make us each
Asiah Mangham Jul 2019
I’m not sorry you couldn’t find a blessing in me
I’m not sorry you couldn’t find peace within me
I’m not sorry that I lacked what you needed
I’m not sorry that I ain’t who you wanted to be with
See, my Ebonics starts to increase when I feel deceived
My voice starts to increase when it feels weak
My presence starts to decrease when it feels defeated
Now, you tell me if I ain’t who you want to be with
Know me
Ankita Gupta Jun 2019
A thousand steps
A hundred ripples
Hurried heartbeats
A leap of faith

A journey from "it's me to that's me"
lovelywildflower Sep 2018
I apologize that I have been absent
My mind has been running away from me
and I keep losing it
I've been chasing it this whole time
I cannot lose myself again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My lungs have been full of aching sadness
and it's hard to breathe
I've been taking deeper breaths
I cannot let myself drown again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My body is too weak to move
and I don't know where I am half the time
I've been trying to connect with it
I cannot let myself slow down again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My demons decided to hit me hard
and hid away the part of me that loves
I've been trying to find my feelings
I cannot view the world feeling nothing again
I'm sorry

But in the end
I shouldn't have to apologize for any of this
I'm trying to be okay again
I don't owe anyone anything
Brooklyn Beverly Sep 2018
One day you'll see me.
I'll be the girl that illuminates your world Everything will be in perspective
A gleaming stream filtered with deception
A disillusion filled with remorse
Because when you finally see me I'll have left a long time ago
What you see, It's just a projected memory of me slipping through your grasps
I'll flow through the fingers that once confined me
You lost my worth but don't worry it's in better hands
Ash Apr 2018
Wash away my sins
Im the devil in the angels garden
unbound me from this guilt
I am creation of my own catastrophe
I will let my scars bleed dry
I will my screams suffocate the silence
I will embrace the my wild and burn for my truth.
Scarlet Rose Apr 2018
Sorry isn’t enough.”

I know.
But it’s all I have.

Maybe it is better to stay silent
Than to give an apology
That isn’t enough.
silas Apr 2018
i'm sorry
that i don't fit
your definition of male.

i'm sorry
i don't have testosterone
running rampant in my veins
i'm sorry
i don't have a bulge
like the mound on a hill
i'm sorry
i don't have a flat chest
acceptable enough to expose in the summer

i'm sorry
you can't begin to understand my heart
before judging my body.
i'm sorry
you were raised to define a man
by what's in his pants.
i'm sorry
you would rather spend your life
invalidating me
and so many others
than open the doors
that beg for a chance

but i
am just as much of a man
as the next guy.
to empower trans people all over the world.
Haley Greene Jun 2017

speak of her
when we all know
i'm just a downgrade
from the one who got away
and you're the one she left
to find the one she decides to wake up to
each morning
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