when i was a kid, i wanted to be superman
i was a super fan, to all the caped crusaders
to all my childhood saviors, wish i had them back
always hung up on the past, stuck on what i lack
that's a bad thing i bet, i guess i need to get
over it. first place's overrated
do i need to go places to really live
i feel relieved just lounging
i don't mind that i'm frowning
my achievements were never crowning
i'm just clowning and that's fine
i guess there's always time

Is this the best of the worst times
So many choices
Yet I made all the wrong ones
Can't stop all the voices
One of these days I'll burn
Could be tomorrow
Could even be today
It's just fate

Fate's a ***** sometimes
Messes with you like a witch sometimes
Never gives you what you wanted
Only gives you what you needed
They said
But I don't even know what I need or want
I just wanna stay in bed
Can't move my legs
Can't be bothered to
So is this what it's come to
Are you gonna leave me too

I'm half dead half alive
Wrist is on the edge of a knife
One inch between life and death
One step before falling in the depth
I'm such a ******* mess right now
I hope you don't think I meant it
And I'm sorry for making you worry
Just forget what I said
and leave me be

hello, computer
how does it feel
when everything's real
is it the future
or still the past
and will this last

the monotony changed
things are not the same
my plain and simple ways
seemed to have gone away

what is left
and what is right
what is dark
and what is light

the more i think
the less i know
it seemed so simple
oh, so long ago

are we alone, searching through stars
looking for home, drifting afar
no one hears you cry in space
i'm way off course from my familiar place

am i alien to you, like you are to me
i don't know what to do to make you see
what's right for you is wrong for me
we're red and blue, from different galaxies

i'm looking at you, why can't i see your eyes
i'm lost in your blue, reaching for stars in the sky
why can't we meet halfway, where's that connection
did it ever go both ways, our affection

The party's over now
The sun's coming up
Not a word, not a sound
Better pack up my stuff

I'm taking the backdoor
Keeping it lowkey
Cause I know you want more
But that's just not for me
I can't be what you wanted
I can't be what you need
I'm just hoping for something
That won't make me bleed

The first train is coming
And I'm feeling cold
I'd miss mama's cooking
But I'm just too old

Always took the backdoor
And kept it lowkey
Cause I can never be sure
That you'll be there for me
I don't think I want to
But it's what I need
Cause after what I've been through
I can't afford to bleed

I always loved summer
But I'm stuck in winter
I took some falls
Thought I'd seen it all
But I'm not even halfway
Still dreaming 'bout some day

Knocking on your front door
You'll be waiting for me
Be mine and I'll be yours
Like it was meant to be
That's all I wanted
That's all I need
But I'm just dreaming
I wanna go back to sleep

it's a concept
it only works on paper
a beautiful mess
cleaning's saved for later

looking through the photos
reading through my memos
where did all the time go
back when all the lights glowed

sometimes nothing
could turn into something new
but i'm still hunting
and i won't find it in you

i won't be your prom date
cause i will break that promise
but i'm still up at home late
cause i was never honest

i'm scared of the future
of opening my wounds
tearing up my sutures
of what's coming soon
of anything i don't know
can't tell where i should go
how long will this last?
am i going too fast?
the pacing of the show

if i think too hard i'll just freeze
and get pushed down by a single breeze
i don't have enough people who believe
such a short list that it doesn't include me
wish i could just run and be free
but nothing's that easy
afraid that this plane won't take off
too many tails to shake off
and i don't have insurance
so i choose avoidance
every time and always
until i run out of ways to say
sorry, not today.

so i'm patiently waiting
for a single notification
a sign of a chance
that it's not over yet
i can't divert my glance
i'm afraid that i'll lose this bet
it's getting to my head
and i know i might be wrong
but one misstep and then i'm gone
maybe my mistake was at the start
all the million other parts
of the puzzle i need to solve
god i feel like i'll dissolve
it's confusing and exciting
finally i'm struck by lightning

i walked down an empty road
it felt so free and open
i wondered why no one took it
but then the pavements were crooked
and i could see the flickering lights
turning the dust into a glimmering sight
i walked halfway only to realize something
that all these paths, they led to nothing
and i'm not the first to notice it
for all intents and purposes, there were red flags
i just didn't want to be dead last

seems like i'm just moving along
convincing myself that nothing's wrong
then i look back and wish things were different
i always keep a certain emotional distance
always jumping between several distractions
while all the plans i made never gained traction

why does it feel good to be lazy
why is doing nothing so easy
i might have something to say
but i'm not gonna do it today

it's a vicious cycle, it never stops
it just keeps on going until i drop
the brake's cut, the pedal's floored
and frankly i'm just feeling bored
i should be my own savior
but i'm always saving it for later

maybe it's time to stop pretending
and admit that this problem's never-ending
the sooner i realize, the better
i can't blame the weather forever

sometimes i think of paper
and i ask it a favor
show me what to do
i don't have a clue
a simple piece of paper
more reflective than a mirror
they ask me how i cope
i just show them my notes
paper is my mind
floating over time
jumping between rhymes
sometimes i'd lie
and say that i'm fine
but never to paper
it never says later
always in the now
that's what it's about

i lost track of time
i lost count of days
i would say i'm fine
but i'm in a haze
day in and day out
i already know
how it all plays out
nowhere left to go
boredom on my mind
i can't stay in line
i can't keep this up
i just had enough
need a little change
life can't stay the same

i need to know
if i can ever let you go
let me know
if i will ever make it home

you are my addiction
the part that i'm missing
going through withdrawal
i can't keep it casual
with you i can't choose
with you it's lose-lose

can't live with you, can't live without
can't leave this hanging with no way out
i need closure for my toxic exposure
i want you closer but it's already over

what's left to say
what's the right way
my contradiction
my addiction

i always have to guess what comes next
i always try my best then end up with less
the less you expect the less the stress
chances to correct your mess and rest
a messy head and a messy bed
paint the room a depressing red
dread is a part of my culture shock
can't get far before those vultures knock
poltergeists they haunt my nights
don't need to fight, they're gone, i'm alright

I feel like I've already peaked
And I still haven't found that fire I seek
Something that inspires and takes me higher
If I could see myself now, I'd call me a liar
I don't understand, am I not doing what I can
Is there more and is it just out of my hands
I'm clueless and useless
I feel like I always knew this
I'm not new to it, the disappointment
Too annoyed to feel resentment
At the end of the day, it's just me and the voice in my head
And it'll always say that I'm better off dead

I can't look
Don't force me to see
An open book
But I don't wanna be free

I'm holding myself back
By being hung up on my past
All my regrets are making me forget
About all the people I wouldn't have met
The things I wouldn't have seen
The person I wouldn't have been
I would never be the same
Without that bittersweet pain
It makes me crazy, it keeps me sane
It comes back every time I ride the train
It always rains before the rainbow, I'm sure
But is it a good enough cure
It's not a disability just my mentality
Every time I try I'm reminded by gravity
That I can't be the best version of me
If I can't let the old one go and be free

I want to look
I want to see
I've opened the book
Now I wanna be free

Since when did this whole thing begin?
I think I'm playing a game that I can't win
Who fell for whom first?
Who will say those final words?

Playing a game of chicken with our hearts
When mine stops, you're the jump-start
On our marks, get set, go
but everything else seems to move so slow

I don't want to see you in my rear-view
I wanna ride shotgun with no one but you
I'm in no hurry to reach the finish line
But know that my endgame is to make you mine

All the thinking, all the dreaming I have ever done
The person on my mind is you. You're the only one
I don't wanna go too fast and lose my self control
But I just can't escape your grip around my soul

i can't hide, no more
i feel washed ashore
i wish i showed more
what is all this for

my head and my heart both ache
how many more pills can i take
is it all placebo in the end
can i become the hero again
or will i just go down a villain
and hate myself for my decisions
i can't be alone, yet i can't leave home
staring at these mold spots that have grown
even thinking makes me feel sick
sometimes i doubt i'll make it through the week
so many wrong things i can't pick one
i've been longing for just a ray of sun
happiness dies fast and regrets last
i even stopped caring about my eyebags
replaying those moments like they'll be different
and i keep asking myself what was missing

Why do we have to fight?
It's always one or the other
Always has to be wrong or right
It's such a shame to see us bicker

What was it for? Who started first?
I can't ignore that each time is worse
Lines getting blurry between banter and insults
Flying off the handle is more like an impulse

We can't see eye to eye
How can we compromise
It seems that you and I
Exist on parallel lines

Should this be the end
Have one final dance
And then it's never again

i gotta wake up soon
light shining in my room
but i don't see any rays
i just hear the pattering rain

when should we stop dreaming
the alarms have been ringing
everybody's in a hurry
everybody seems so worried

i know i made a promise
but if i'm being honest
everything's so fragile these days
everyone's got debts they can't repay

but i'll see you in america
one day when it's all better
when i make it i'll make up to you
as long as we believe the sky is blue

i've been watching the clock tick
for who knows how long
why do i feel so weak
like everything here is wrong
this feeling of unease
just won't let me be
it won't let me fall asleep
it's getting hard to see
but still i'm wide awake
wondering how long it'll take
to clear my head of these thoughts
until i can untie my mental knot
so while i stare at this frozen clock
my way to rest will remain blocked

i was lying on the grass, high off my ***
thinking bout the past, if this life will last
and all that jazz, wondering if i'm going too fast
still trying to figure it out, what my life's all about
the quarter life crisis, i might not be at my nicest
all my friends drive a hybrid but their lives looking vapid
i'm not one to talk, i'm jack with no beanstalk
no golden goose to lay me some eggs
while everyone else says break a leg
i never broke any eggs so i can't make an omelette
but i'm on it i promise. then i ran out of the office
can't deal with expectations, cause i'm still hesitating
so afraid of failure that i keep on failing
it's a ******* paradox. now where did i put my pair of socks?

is there anything worse than losing yourself
i can think of many things stuck on the shelf
must be something else that slipped my mind
perhaps a feeling that someone left behind
i can't just pretend that it isn't there
i cannot see it so i shouldn't care
that sounds fair but i keep having nightmares
then it hit me, it was always right there
paranoid nostalgia just thinking about ya
now my voice is louder but it doesn't have the power
the power to lead me away from my misery

privacy is really a thing of history
nowadays it's all up there like a gallery
even when i'm alone there's always eyes
it's exhausting putting on such a disguise
when the lights are off and blinds are closed
it would be fine to be blind i suppose
glancing at my back like there's a ghost
staring at every single tweet i post
no such thing as being invisible
still just a student dodging the principal
some of you might say i'm just paranoid
nah i'm just worried about my word choice
twisted voices can make terrible noises
life is a bumpy ride and i'm getting nauseous

you were in my dreams
caught in tractor beams
i don't know what it means
i can't tell lately
my answer's maybe
maybe i'm insane
do you feel the same

how do i describe
the things in my mind
or is it my heart
oh, how do i start

i wasn't prepared
part of me's scared
to be out in the blue
to be something new

and so i have changed
broken from the frame
where do i begin
starting from my dreams

they say life is a highway
that way or my way
where it ends i can't say
that depends on the places
the places i'll be
and faces i'll meet
the names that i'll greet
and friends that i'll keep
but how many will leave
and how many are left

will you follow me
to where this life ends
when i'm on my knees
will you hold my hand
will i get to see
flowers on my grave
a familiar face

cause at the end of the day
when i'm gone, far away
and you're left here to stay
will you hold on to me
like a sweet memory
will i make you laugh
or just make you cry
be the tears in your eyes
will that be too much
or just enough

it's harder to dream lately
i'm so caught up with reality
that i can't imagine like i used to
i guess part of me just refused to
let myself take it easy or relax
like it's just gonna hold me back
i guess i'm just bored and dead
with nothing going on in my head
i need more distractions
before these thoughts gain traction
then it'll be ******* bad
cause by then i can't go back

call me up when you're feeling down
sometimes it's hard to feel the ground
sometimes it's hard to make a sound
even when there's no one around

i'd rather get missed calls
than get nothing at all
sipping tea on the balcony
thinking bout that night in albany
can't believe how much it rains
reminds me of the day before you came
keeping a place on my bed for you
keeping up the pace so i can catch up too
what are you up to? how are you doing?
i get the urge to call you every morning
but the mourning period is over
time for me to get sober
cause bottles are getting empty
and i'm beginning to feel the frenzy
tangled up in cords that keep me going on
why is your life so short and mine so long

walking slowly down my memory lane
funny how these streets stay the same
yet they feel completely different
like there's a little thing missing
something's off, i can't tell but i know
somewhere there's a huge gaping hole
inside my soul? i suppose
cut off too many things just to be safe
now i don't know where's my own place
a place to call home, contacts on my phone
all those things would make me feel less alone
or maybe not, just a thought
am i really happy with what i got
i can't tell what they are
a new house, a car
they won't get me very far
if i'm stuck in my own head
and i can't get out of bed
like a record on loop
i'm standing still but still i move
i'm ahead but i can't improve
i know i need something. i know it's true
and maybe that something could be you

the butterflies all flew away
broke out of their coccoons
now they're all free to play
but in the corner of this room
sits a lonely caterpillar
wishing he could be someone bigger
i know how you feel little man
you're the same as me, doing whatever you can
only difference is you know where you are
where you're going, you know how far
how long till your days end
how long till you join all your friends
maybe you don't know, maybe you don't care
wish i could afford the luxury to be here and there
wish i knew exactly how i will turn out
wish i knew exactly what my life is about
a simple goal, a simple road
just one destination for me to go
must be so nice to have wings and fly
too bad we can't all be butterflies

Look you in the eye
Tell a perfect lie
I'm not feeling blue
I just feel like the sky
Empty and open, with my arms I'm hoping
Sometimes I wish you'd notice
I know that it's hopeless
Why do I do this
I feel so useless
Put my heart on my sleeve
Just leave it out to bleed
I wish I knew how to let go
If I knew what I know now
It would've been better from the get-go
Let's go, what's the problem?
Can't tell, there's a lot of 'em
So afraid of what's at the end
that I never try again
I can't be more than just a friend
I'll just stop at that I guess

guess i'll see you when i fall asleep
i hope the sea i'm diving is not so deep
i feel like i'm wasting time, counting the days
instead of just saying what i gotta say
there's always tomorrow. that's what i thought
i guess i forgot how little time i've got
so day by day, you drifted further away
and i never realized 'till you're replaced by the waves

now i'm singing my ocean blues
it's not the same without you
i'm so sick of radio tunes
so i hung up my phone
left it at dial tone
better to be alone
out of sight, out of mind
'till the end of time
so don't worry, i'm fine

chase you to the ends of the earth
just to show you what i'm worth
if only we could just stay
but it's so hard to meet halfway
it feels so bad when we're apart
wish you were here from the start
just stay with me, be with me
if only it were that easy
all the things we could've done
if our chances hadn't stopped at one
now we're miles away, you're yesterday
while i'm today, i don't wanna wait
if i could fly a plane, i'd be there right away
keep a place for me, keep waiting for me. okay?

this is the greatest time of my life
and there's nowhere i'd rather be
one day i'll look back on the highlights
and miss when i was free

when i wake up in the night
arm reaching for the light
i think of where i'll be
but i don't want to see

too many choices, but not enough time
i think i'm losing my mind
each one could be the worst of them all
my mental powerball

sometimes i think i try way too hard
when there's nothing i can do
i like to think that i can still restart
but there's too much to lose

oh look at that, it's already 3am
and i have no idea where i am
i just drank how many shots
and now i'm ******* lost
i've been to how many bars
and is this even my car
it's all a blur in my head
now the curb can be my bed
i miss that comfy feeling of a home
in my humble abode, being alone
i feel quite free, with no one but me
if only that life was easy
now i'd rather spend nights
hiding from the light
avoiding any fights
relationship's a drag
i got enough in my bag
check the ones under my eyes
i wish my shadow was more my size
i wish this smile wasn't a disguise
i already know the why of my conflict
i need to find the how,
i think i'm ready for it to end now

i want to remember dreams
but they just flow away
like water in a stream
to a bigger place

at the back of my mind
all the things i've buried
left to the winds of time
landfill of memories

do you remember me
from way back when
you used to know my name
and we used to be friends

it's all gone now
nothing's left behind
i don't know how
but you're out of my mind

memories that make me
that i can't recall
where will life take me
is it down a fall

i never left breadcrumbs
now i can't go back
the person i've become
doesn't remember the past

sometimes i sit there and stare at a wall
thinking if all of this matters at all
trying and failing, losing, prevailing
shutting out the wailing inside my head
making sure that i'm alive and not dead
where did it go wrong?
why is it that you're gone?
come to think of it, we were a pretty bad couple
a couple of bad choices, didn't hear each other's voices
wanted more than we could give
and once we're done we couldn't forgive
thought i knew what i needed
thought it was true
but the right answer was never you

don't you dare think i didn't try my best
if you want we can put that to the test
i'm running out of options, help me out
i'm about to leave, never be found
i know the worst is yet to come
and when it does it won't be fun
so farewell in advance
don't hold my hand, not again

don't run too fast, just wait your turn
don't fly too far, you might get burned
no going back, you can't return

i think there's something wrong with the air
i guess that's how it is when you're not there
a toast to all the words i've never said
if i'm being honest. how worse can it get
but i never learn, i fanned the flames
i sat and burned, it's all the same
i shouldn't care that you're out there
with somebody else, cause that's unfair
need nobody else, just myself, nothing to share

i ran too fast, i lost my turn
i flew too far, and now i'm burned
i can't go back, i can't return

every now and then i think about myself
about who i should become, do i need help?
every night i feel like i should start again
but each day feels like it would never end
when everything else falls apart
i'll just retreat inside my heart
and push you all away
one day, i'll be okay
i'll be okay

i only did it because i should
a sacrifice for the greater good
but good is never enough
nothing is ever too much
there's always something more
there's always another door
another room with nothing
leaving me wanting something
anything to fill it up
but nothing is enough
a lot to give, nothing to get
always prone to loss and regret
regressing in the name of progress
nothing wrong with the current process
can't bear to glance at what's behind
yet it screams in my ears all the time

there are things i never got to do
there are feelings that never got through
words i never really got to say
places where i wish i could stay
i know good things were never meant to last
but i wish they didn't go so fast

sometimes i wish i knew where you are
so i could run straight back into your arms
but life always had other plans
and it's always out of my hands
and i'm trying to find, trying to find
some gravity
but right now i feel so blind, so blind
to reality

i'm so sorry
i never meant to make you worry
i just had no clue what to do
i never had someone like you
to be the anchor for my boat
to be the basis for my hope
all the promises that i've made
never should've turned to heartbreak
and i messed up along the road
now i'm trying to find my way home

what am i doing on a saturday
nothing just hoping these clouds would go away
what a waste of time, being bored out of my mind
summer was supposed to let me unwind
but now i just want to rewind
at least that'll be something to do
at least that'll get my mind off you

I got skeletons in my closet
But you already knew that
Anybody else
would leave me just like that
But not you
Oh, but not you

What do you see in me
I have literally no redeeming qualities
Some might call me downright silly
But yet you stayed
Still you stayed

I really don't deserve you
Angel from above
Why are you blessing me
This pitiful idiot with your love
Your attention and your embrace
I can't live up to that
I really am just a ****
But you love me anyway
And I wouldn't have it any other way

I knew you so well, so well
Couldn't stop you before
I told you what I should tell
Trying to keep you out of my mind girl
But I'm in hell

I don't wanna cry
No more use in crying
Anymore
Wish I had the strength
Wish I had the strength
To knock on your door

Systematically destroying myself over something I didn't do
Mathematically doesn't make sense but what else can I do
You're through with me you're through with life
But I'm not through with you
Not then not now not ever
Thought you said we would be together
Forever
Guess that forever turned into never

the spring comes and the winter leaves
now i'm missing the fun i had with splinters and leaves
crazy how life goes so fast when you don't notice
and everything just slows down when you blow it
i know it's natural, it's okay to mess up
but i gotta fess up, i'll never make it to the best of
the greatest hits won't include me
no one will ever introduce me
you won't ever know the new me
because the version you see will die eventually
buried in a forest of words, six feet under
buried alive until another summer
never stopped to wonder where people go
never stopped to think if people know
if people grow, if people change
otherwise everything just looks the same
it's all so plain to me, somebody explain to me
how you can stay sane doing the mundane
it's all routine, we're all just moving
on and on, moving along, until our next favorite song

every time i wake up
it's like the day's been set
and there's no way to shake up
the way things go ahead

feels like i'm stuck in a mold
and all the options are gone
i have to either be gold
or just settle for bronze

is it better to be on a path
or to throw out the map
should i know where to go
or just dive in the snow

who i'm meant to be
and what i want to do
i wonder if i'm free
to change my point of view

a picture perfect dreamscape
somewhere for me to escape
away from the daily nightmares
where there's no one to care

i'll dream about a garden
maybe i'll play a martian
it's like i'm back with my toys
but i'm no longer a boy

i wish i could let myself grow
but i'm too scared to let myself go
dangling on a cliff without a rope
is this how it feels to lose all hope

the world in my head is infinite
but i know that i'm still limited
by my own demons, i'm hesitating
we're all wearing makeup
but mine is flaking
frankly i'm shaking
cause maybe i don't wanna wake up

and after all this time
can my life finally be mine
i've missed all the ******* signs
i'm surprised i haven't been left behind

so here i stand with you
the one part i could never lose
is it me or you that's hanging on
some day it'll all be gone
and i'll be alone again
and we'll go back
to where it all began

thanks for the times that you spent with me
thanks for the smile that you never gave to anybody
i wish i could say what you needed to hear
cause you know i was always all ears
but things didn't go as planned
i wish i had taken your hand
and did all i could
i would, i should
but it's all over now
you're gone, to some far away town
somewhere i can't get to
worst part is i can't forget you
but i need to let you go
cause you of all people know
sometimes you just have to let it snow

I wonder who I would have been
If things had gone differently
If I had taken a left instead of right
And hadn't wasted all those nights

A dead end at every turn
But if I go back I will burn
I know there's a way to escape
But do I really have what it takes

If I fall again, it might be the end
All the what if's and the back then's
My mistakes are digging my grave
Just waiting for me to die in this cave

I have to get out, one way or another
Crawl back up or die in the gutter
Can't fix my wrongs, but I need to move on
Or it'll be too late and I'll already be gone

Call me when you're awake
Cause I can't stand when you're away
You've become a part of me
That I wake up just to see
Is it meant to be?
I dunno, you tell me

It's still so unclear
How I should appear
Am I coming on too strong
Did I do something wrong
I can't shake them off
Those lingering thoughts

I wish I knew better
What to do about you
Two of us together
Would be a dream come true
Don't you think so?
For now I don't know