Shakespeare would have failed Naplan,
That was not in his cunning plan,
Yes, his folks would have him tutored,
To ensure Billy became learned,
He would have lost his homework,
Billy did so not want extra work,
Shakespeare, that teen scallywag,
It was total fun, such a lad.
Now Shakespeare is a wraith,
Why, Billy, why? Teens sayeth,
As they serially fail literacy tests,
Why not abolish that Billy pest?
Tragic heroes and drama queens,
That's the teens writing essays on such scenes,
While Billy failed in literacy,
Teens do sense such hypocrisy.

To vaccinate or not?
What about diseases we forgot?
Like Polio, T.B. or Smallpox?
Kids can't take peanuts to school, or not,
Bu they can bring Measles and Whooping Cough.
What other diseases have we forgot?
To vaccinate or not?

Fractured Fairytales, Part Two,
A sordid little tale for you.......
Stranger Danger!
Stranger Danger!
Lil' Red Riding Hood,
Alone in the woods,
Stranger Danger!
Stranger Danger!
Who is this stranger?
It's the Park Ranger!
Is he up to no good?
Prowling around in the woods?
Stranger Danger!
Stranger Danger!
Lil' Red Riding Hood,
Alone in the woods,
He's thrown away her phone,
Now Lil' Hood is not alone,
Now he's up to good,
Bad news for Lil' Red  Riding Hood,
Stranger Danger!
Stranger Danger!
Bad Park Ranger!
Stranger Danger!
He's turned her into a ****,
Now he's got her up the duff,
Stranger Danger!
Bad Park Ranger!
Now she's a single mother,
Should have had a better mother,
Letting her walk alone in the woods,
Bad handsome Park Ranger,
Stranger Danger!
Stranger Danger!
A sordid little verse for you,
That was Fractured Fairytales, Part Two.

Do you want a small mystery?
Should I make the postman history?
What is in that letterbox?
Yet more bills, quite a shock.
Or do you want a big mystery?
Why are we here? Ask history....
Good question that,
We just are, that's that,
(Now I sound like ***),
Dumb question that, I guess,
So, next, that small mystery,
When do I make the postman history?
I guess it's all  mystery to me........

Skyscrapers in every nation,
Signs of mankind's aspiration,
Millions of plebs face starvation,
No dwellings for them, deprivation,
No, skyscrapers they keep building,
How many lilies are they gilding?
What else could they  be doing?

Who controls our banking?
Ruinous fees for money lending.
Who questions their investing?
Why so dear for money dealing?
Who does profit from accounting?
Our finances they're controlling,
While our economy they're ruining,
They're amassing fortunes pecuniary,
Big business for them, commercially.
Let's question their accountability
For our faceless Australian economy,
Profits overseas they're sending---
So much for Australian banking!!!

Postman, postman, stay away,
Do not bring me bills this way,
Take them to the Prime Minister today,
He can afford them, let's say,
Postman, postman, bills here do not purvey,
Postman, postman, stay away!

Is this what you believe?
"We're all born equal," you see,
Is this what 'human rights' looks like to thee?
No, I read about discrimination,
Racism, and slavery in many nations,
Bigotry, armed conflicts, starvation,
Where did you get to, equality?
Is this what 'human rights' looks like to thee?

Yassou, I say to you in poetry,
To the 'Alive Poets' Society',
Here is one for your fantasies,
Make love with one feather-erotically,
But with a whole chicken, well, like, *****!
Run that past your thoughts, imaginarily,
Making love like that, immaculately,
Definitely one for your fantasies,
Using a whole chicken, well, like, *****!
Yassou, one of the 'Alive Poets' Society'!

"What are toxic time bombs?
I wonder, with no aplomb,
Old garbage and refuse tips,
Legacy landfills, full of blip,
Damaging environmentally,
So much for sustainability,
All the overflow of society,
How do we correct such wrongs?
All these toxic time bombs..........

To my brothers in Faith,
This is what I'd like to say,
If our paths should cross one day,
Thanks to each of one of you,
For all the wonders that you do.
How to express my gratitude?
Pray for blessings for each of you,
Our gifts to share is what to do,
To my brothers in my humble faith,
As our guiding Lord does sayeth......
This is what I'd like to say,
If our paths should cross one day,
Thanks to each of you today.

My muse had a good idea,
Let's flood the world with Ikea!
Dysfunctional kits, there and here.
For guns and bombs here
No one would care.
They would be assembling Ikea,
Each kit, four missing bits,
Wrong pictures to give them the blip,
Globally occupied with dysfunctional Ikea,
Now isn't this a good idea?
Peace on Earth brought by Ikea.

Does everyone else overthink?
I over-analyse everything,
Every little thing that people say,
As  we proceed through each day,
Horrors! I gained an ounce!
And you look full of bounce!
FU** we're going to die fat and alone!
And we'll all get gallstones,
Listen to all my inner moans,
I'm overthinking again, you see,
There should be an overthinkers' society!!

This is a verse, not a song,
Let's gaze on the face of Agamemnon,
For ten years, he had stayed away,
Finally, he arrived home one day,
Yes, away to Troy he'd roamed,
The warrior king made it home,
But, he had been playing away,
His Queenie had a bad hair day,
Her axe did have a double blade,
As in her spa, she made him lay,
She drugged his wine, a loving cup,
Then proceeded to chop him up!
Off with his feet, for roaming so far,
Queenie really messed up her spa,
Off with his cheating hands,
He brought home  **'s from foreign lands,
Off with his attachments,
You can guess what that meant,
Shoved them in his mouth,
as his head went south,
"Feed him to the swine!
It's pig feeding time!"
She yelled at the serfs!
"That cheating dud got his desserts!"
Queenie was having a bad hair day,
Warrior king had been playing away,
But, Queenie had a toyboy anyway,
She always kept smiling,
Looked for the silver lining,
Queenie's wealth was a'piling,
She was a keeper,
Old king now a sleeper,
Queen kept the kids, gold and slaves,
She did get hers one day,
Yes, Queenie kept the lot,
Or was it all a plot?
Queenie's bad hair day,
Warrior king had been playing away,
This is verse, not a song,
Let's gaze at the face of Agamemnon.

Let's whinge about homework,
Always a fuss, that's what it's worth,
I am sure in the Year 9000 AD,
Teens shall whinge about it to me,
Or even little chicks and dudes,
Who gives them homework after school?
"Only a challenge!" old chalkies say,
I've heard their moans many a day,
Always a fuss, or non-compliance,
Maybe a non-homework alliance,
Yes, I've heard all the whinges today,
Whinging's fun, I always say,
Moan, moan, homework works both ways,
Let's all whinge about homework today!

Here's a thought,
Don't know if I ought,
What's faster than thought?
Thought momentum,
Like acceleration,
Concept velocity,
Thought rapidity,
Thinking celerity...
Upon reflection,
Thought momentum,
Is it the speed of light?
Thoughts so bright,
Here's a thought,
What's faster than thought?

Imagery of our childhood,
Way back when, are patterns good?
Did we get the pieces to fit?
Is there closure, to get 'over it'?
We're only humans, can make mistakes,
As forming lives, our oldies shaped--
Environment versus heredity,
What is their true legacy?
Is there no closure on way back when
Are puzzles really what childhood meant?

Here's some homework howlers,
By hilarious pupil terrors,
"An octopus has eight testicles."
Did I read that with my spectacles?
"Mozart sailed to Vietnam." For how long?
Why is there a clavichord in the Mekong?
"Rome is now in Africa." Do tell,
Didn't you learn map-reading too well?
"Mummy and Daddy's fave place is bed."
Do your parents really want this read?
Are these mud-coloured glasses, or what?
How did I survive teaching this lot?
It's hard to take them too serious,
Homework howlers, hilarious!

I contemplated, but not alone,
On an ancient poet's ode,
A lover and a scribbler composed,
"Nunc scio quid est amor..." Oh?
"Now I know what true love is..." No woe,
As I reflect on a spiritual road,
I ponder on, where pomegranates grow,
As venerable Horace did compose,
A love divine, true love, and never alone.....

When there ain't no mutual respect,
Must stop thinking about the ex......
How much can a koala bear?
Coping mechanisms abound here,
There is no turning back,
*******--cut women some slack!
When there ain't no mutual respect,
Gotta stop thinking about the ex......

How brave are our fire brigades?
As they battle bushfires each day,
Yes, it's summer in Victoria,
Not exactly the Waldorf Astoria,
For all the fire brigades,
Our respect they've totally gained,
Laying their lives on the line,
When the weather's too hot and fine,
Burn, Victoria, burn,
El Nino's torrid urn,
Our noble defenders each day,
Real heroes in the news, I say,
As they battle bushfires today,
How brave are the fire brigades?

Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
I visualise that toilet brush,
Shoved down his throat thrush,
Or up his male ****,
Not even an excuse for a man,
Bullies don't get, says my nan,
Way too early to be awake,
Way too early to cook him steak,
What does he think he's going to eat?
That toilet brush he'll meet and greet,
Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
All budget friendly and medicine free,
(Guess who swallowed the dictionary!!!!)

My unrequited love poem.....
Outside my window,
Elegant ferns and flowers,
Lost in the crowd,
My intangible man,
Cute as a button,
My long distance lover,
My listless lips ravishing,
One day he'll come to me...
SURPRISE!!! SURPRISE!!!
There's no one there,
No empirical evidence
For this adoration, O Muse,
My unrequited love poem.

As the daily news  I was reading,
Here is the story that was leading,
Zombie spider slaves, wasp masters dictating,
Subsidised fake spider skills,
Wasp masters must be getting their thrills,
I sense an allegory,
Like humanity's history,
Teeming ants in a global rat race,
Pleasing some master's lack of grace.
Same scenario, different day,
Till you retire and fade away,
Who, indeed, are our wasp masters?
Come on, humans, work much faster,
Don't you forget to hurry,
Or wasp masters shall give you curry!

As the daily news  I was reading,
Is there no other news for leading?
Yes, allegory I was perceiving.

The Eagle did land,
In the Israelites' hands,
The eagle was candid,
When Our Lord landed,
The brain game's the same,
Humans still play it the same,
Weapons of mass destruction,
Hell is obliteration,
We should aim high, Our Father
Would Peace on Earth rather,
Once upon a lifetime,
In an instant of rhyme,
The Eagle was candid,
When Our Lord landed!













,

Yes, it's the racing carnival,
Fashionistas so topical,
Significance trivial,
Eye candy,
Drunk and silly,
Studs in suits,
Looking beaut,
Glitterati,
Haves and wannabes,
For the paparazzi,
Doyens of the racing industry,
You all look fabulous,
Gambling magnanimous,
Thoroughbreds' gloss,
Media hype and dross,
Great racing day,
*****, bets and babes,
Stuff the plebs today,
Our city's public holiday,
Melbourne Cup Day!

Smiles are kindly and free,
Let's spread smiles globally,
We should be more like children,
Greet each day with laughs and grins,
Smiles are a friendly grace,
A delight for every face,
Smiles are our happy treasure.
Delights for human pleasure,
Smiles are great to use,
Glowing us, as we amuse,
Yes, smiles are kindly and free,
Let's spread smiles globally.

Listen to your secret rainbows,
No time for needless angst and woe,
There's a small Pegasus on your shoulder this day,
You've got to make the most of every day,
Listen to the rainbow in our hearts,
Even though we're together but apart,
Love comes in different shapes and sizes,
Any day in our lives can bring us surprises,
No time for needless angst and woe,
Listen to your secret rainbows!

Can I ascend a poem allegorical?
Are Tetley's teabags paradoxical?
A teabag is full of strength,
Teabag enters moisture at string's full length,
Radiating vigour and a pick-me-up,
While the tea drinker begins to sup,
There is the lonesome teabag,
Sodden, drained by old hag,
Limp and fatigued,
I ponder, intrigued,
Are teabags signs sent from above?
Are teabags truly true love?
Is this a poem allegorical?
Used teabags--quite paradoxical!!

From my great imagination,
Here's my fantasy creation,
A rainbow pastel unicorn,
With a tingly golden horn,
Healing us each day,
Blessing all souls this way,
Here is a gift from me,
Across the miles to thee,
I hope you have the happiest day,
Love and kisses always,
To each and every one of you,
My unicorn is blessing you,
A pastel rainbow unicorn,
With a golden tingling horn,
Healing you until each dawn,
You'll never beat my unicorn!!!

Was Asimov a prophet?
Look at the rise of robots!
Can they gain artificial intelligence?
Isn't that what old Isaac meant?
When the slaves become our overlords,
Who invented that dumb thought?
Was Asimov a prophet?
Look at the rise of robots........

The life and times here, frowns,
As  the last business finally closed down,
The general store has left town,
Now there's only ghosts left here, frowns!

Between the brothers, sad tale,
Sibling rivalry did not fail,
Their fractured world of damaged hearts,
Only death could tear them apart,
Quite symbiotic and sick,
Both obsessed with their own blip,
Yes, it was a sad brotherly tale,
Their sibling rivalry never failed......

The city of Bongwater was a city of sin,
An epic journey of the man who did the bins,
All that binning at 5 am made a terrible din,
Monday mornings in Bongwater's city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!

The epic of the bin man in this city of sin,
Driving into parked cars made a terrible din,
"Told you not to  park near the bins."
The callous bin man yelled in the city of sin.

This is the epic of the bin man in a city of sin,
Past the schools, he ran over some kids,
"Told you not walk in front of bins!"
Our hero yelled at the rest of the kids,
Drive down , bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low.

The epic journey of a bin man in a city of sin,
One day, he hit the water mains with the bins,
Fountains erupted in this city of sin,
Bin man's demolished Bongwater, city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip the bins down low!

An epic journey of the bin man, in a city of sin,
Driving into light poles in this city of sin,
"Who needs power?" he yelled above the din,
Driving around Bongwater's city of sin,
Drive down, bin man,
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!

This is the epic of the city that didn't pray,
One day the bin man rolled their bins away,
That was the epic of our hero of the bins,
Driving round Bongwater, that city of sin,
All that binning made a terrible din!
Drive down, bin man.
Drive round the roads,
Sophisticated urban,
Tip those bins down low!!!

THE  GIFTS THE DRUIDS FORGOT...

The gifts the Druids  forgot,
Imagination or a load of rot?
Envisioning future along the track,
Looking forward, not looking back.
Miracles and prophet's dreams,
Mystic lands blessed by moonbeams,
Heroes and inspiring queens,
Appearing in transit, sight unseen,
Imagination or a load of rot?
The gifts the Druids forgot....

On love and astral travelling,
Through the stars we're wandering,
On the universe we're pondering,
My eternal love, Napoleon,
Intangible man, but  full of fun,
Our jewelled cloak of stars,
We've journeyed from afar,
Shape shifting, glittering,
On love and astral travelling,
I'm no Carlos Santana,
I have no scarlet bandana,
I am the oestrogen,
Old Josephine,
Where haven't we been?
I have no testosterone,
You're my "Yes, master!" Napoleon---
On love and astral travelling,
Sentimentally wandering,
Are you Angelus or Incubus?
Reminiscing, reflecting,
Comical groupies for loving,
On love and astral travelling......

Here I am, off on a trip,
Do I travel on an new airship?
Or do a take a train, not so hip?
Or do I drive my vintage car?
Or is this trip too far?
No, like Icarus the star,
I'll grow wings, better than the car,
So, no automobiles, planes or trains,
No bus, but my wings, that's plain!

It's housework time again,
Should I hit the gin?
Time to vac.,
More dust in the sack,
Whoops, missed a bit,
This vac gives me the blip,
Now it's time for teacups,
Job done, ****** it up!

This house of hyperbole,
Does defy credulity,
Let's all exaggerate,
Aim to manipulate,
"I shall love you infinitely!"
Sounds a normal hyperbole,
"I never got over you!"
Am  I am a drama mama too?
You want me and need me,
But you don't love me,
Is that called two out of three?
Or more hyperbole?
Why answer such questions?
I'm always open to your suggestions,
As usual for you and me,
In this house of hyperbole........

Wise words implanted in human young,
"Behave yourselves, you're young!
No need for you to rebel,
Follow the rules we tell,
But who listens at any age?
Same as in Sumerian days!
"You young have no respect,
Boys look like girls, what the heck!
Your music is total trash,
Your verse is gibberish, ash,
Yes, 4000  years of rebels,
Who follow the rules we tell?

Chocolate heals,
Substitute meals,
Our new faith,
The prophet sayeth,
Chocolate heals,
Break the packet's seals,
Grow cocoa beans,
Better than ****,
Choc's the new religion,
For all of us pigeons,
Good for endorphins,
Fat hips a'morphing,
So what for fat hips?
Chocolate's the blip,
Substitute meals,
Yes, chocolate heals.

I scribble this thought in an ode,
Writer's minds have minds of their own,
Our Muse does oft overflow,
Unless there's writers' block, you know,
Fiction people come to life,
We create their  joy or strife,
Or do they invent their own?
Is fiction a world to compose,
Or do our minds have minds of their own?

I gaze at his famous painting,
A lily pond for reflecting,
His focus for serenity,
His gift of tranquillity,
So, thank you, Monet, for your legacy........

"Until an hour before the Devil fell..."
Yahweh and Lucifer got on so well,
God thought Archangels so beautiful,
God blessed each of you, so dutiful,
Lucifer, our light divine,
Now  fallen angel, out of time,
Evil love, Prince of Darkness,
Diablo Mephistopheles, no less,
Sad to say, Beezelbub runs Hell,
But, Yahweh and Lucifer got along so well,
"Until an hour before the devil fell...."

Fat jokes are not funny,
Donald Trump jokes are even less funny,
Wanna be's for power and money,
All those macho day dreams,
Is politics ever what it seems?
What is wisdom? Socrates asked,
A question that sets a task,
Well, fat jokes are not funny,
Donald Trump jokes, so not funny,
Wise sayings, not for money....

(Farewell to an aged brother, RIP).
His good ole days are still to be,
In football heaven, in eternity,
Looks at the face of heaven, does he,
He rewound his music, so country,
He got them all back, you see,
His wife, his old dog, his car, no needs,
Pray his good ole days are still to be......

Why do men sit sulking alone?
Is it worse than Premenstrual Syndrome?
Is PFS far worse for men?
Indeed, by PFS, what is meant?
Why, it's Post Football Syndrome!
Don't say it's only a game, Oh no!
Round here, it's total blasphemy,
Or, let's say, utter heresy!
SSHHH...let's tiptoe away,
Dodging his tantrums today,
How does PFS affect you?
Find something else to do,
Preferably in another room,

Why do men sit sulking alone?
Easy, they have Post Football Syndrome...
SSSHHHHH......!!!!!

What is it with some men?
Is this what those nuptials meant?
You are turned into his mother figure,
A holy cow, housework, meals, rigour,
Maybe there's no luck in love,
So much for wedding doves,
"I am not your mother!"  
I wished I yelled at another,
Maybe  I don't know how to train a man,
Maybe a manual should come in a can,
Then you could have twins in tins,
Fully formed, no ***** pins!
Maybe it is the male gender,
They really want a nanny for their benders,
Is this what those nuptials meant?
What is with some men?

Boy meets girl,
Gives her a whirl,
Log on, take selfie,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Had breakfast, look!
Update fakebook,
Went to the gym, look!
Update fakebook,
Now we're gym junkies,
Upload selfies,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Now we're wed,
Enough said,
Update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Shall I kiss the bride?
Not fair, fat and wide!
First, update fakebook,
Thumbs up, look!
Now we've got kids,
Marriage on the skids,
Oh, man, that's bad,
Divorce selfies, too sad,
Update your fakebook,
Thumbs down, look!
Our 21st Century,
Celluloid selfies..........

It's time to tune in!
I write with a grin,
Let's look at the Universe,
For what it's worth,
Big picture a must,
Humans-atoms of stardust,
Each one a fragment of time,
Don't have to walk the line,
Easier to smile, and be kind,
Make your own sunshine!
Ban the boring, negativity
No good for society,
In beer, you can trust,
New exes down the pub!
Each day a fragment of time,
Must make your own sunshine!