Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Aug 14 · 89
QUITE A PARTY!
I know how to party,
On Friday nights,
I have crocheting, you see,
A stash of yarn, and coffee,
I'd say that's quite a party,
Hope all the crafters agree!
Feedback welcome for boomer humour.
Aug 6 · 372
THE GOOD OLE DAYS.....
(Farewell to an aged brother, RIP).
His good ole days are still to be,
In football heaven, in eternity,
Looks at the face of heaven, does he,
He rewound his music, so country,
He got them all back, you see,
His wife, his old dog, his car, no needs,
Pray his good ole days are still to be......
Feedback welcome.
Jul 23 · 156
PETS!
Beam me up, she said,
Mary Poppins  I have read,
Pet advocate was she,
I'll feed my birds, signed me!
Feedback welcome.
Jul 22 · 89
Varicose....
You're so varicose vein,
Youth is gone again,
I suppose I'm still lucky,
I found my glasses, you see,
That's as good as it gets today,
Let's hear it for oldies, yah!
Feedback welcome.
Mar 15 · 155
BITTER THE GLASS!
Let's raise a bitter glass,
Football's here at last,
And that's not all,
Teams do crowds enthrall,
From a victory,
****** defeat, you see,
No flag again this year,
Bitter glass, my dears,
Football's finally a'loose,
Pour that glass of bitter juice!
Melbourne in Autumn and Winter. Feedback welcome.
Mar 15 · 229
PANDEMIC LOVE!
This is sage advice,
At gigolos don't look twice,
It's a pandemic world,
Solo *******, guys and girls,
All around the  world,'
Blip yourselves, dudes and girls,
Then on with the happy pants,
Back to online work, us ants,
How do I know all this?
Google's life coaching is the blip!
Feedback welcome.
Feb 13 · 99
Cool Cars!
In my burb, cool cars are superstars,
They never seem to travel far,
They drive off to the bottle shop,
Head off home, dodging the cops,
Maybe they seek lively young babes,
I think the **'s are giggling away,
Another trip to the bottle shop,
Your fun police, I am not,
I do not care where your mufflers are,
Cool cars here are superstars!
Feedback welcome.
Feb 13 · 272
ANXIETY
For my free thought anxiety,
I do like reading Web MD,
For medical catastrophes,
But what to do, in reality,
Send them off to a good GP,
For accurate diagnoses,
Then stop reading Web MD!
Feedback welcome
Jun 2020 · 300
WE SURVIVED....
Julie Grenness Jun 2020
Here's an ode to make us laugh,
Boomers resilient to the last,
Survived high school in  the sixties,
Where we learnt cookery,
Girls did not have *****,
Couldn't do woodwork, over it!
Instead, made a pudding of suet,
Fat, fat, fat, eating to rue it!
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 291
Guides on the Sides!
Julie Grenness May 2020
Who guides you each day?
Would you to angels pray?
Our guides on the sides,
All ethereals, they hide,
An open mind we must keep,
Blessings from above, love so deep.
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 201
Pebbles is 60!
Julie Grenness May 2020
The Flintstones, blast from the past,
That was a pregnancy to last,
For Pebbles  we waited so long,
She did sing her own songs,
Now this is a fact so scary,
Pebbles has now turned sixty,
I can't believe how old we've got,
Once the Flintstones really rocked!
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 117
How on earth?
Julie Grenness May 2020
I went to the Vet, for what it's worth,
Give Fido these pills? How on Earth?
Fido did the big dummy spit,
Then he snapped me! Over it!
Feedback welcome, note pun.
May 2020 · 244
Home Schooling Mum!
Julie Grenness May 2020
Welcome to Home School today,
A typical mum might say,
We''ll start with Maths, okay,
First,  I have an empty glass,
There is 0 wine here for a blast,
Then I'll pour in half,
Before I top it up,
Now I have 1 whole wine to sup,
Home School does need wine o'clock,
For mums, not kids, quite a shock,
Stop laughing at Mum, okay,
She flunked Maths too, along the way,
Some Mums are not teachers, okay,
Now who farted? She's say,
End of home school for the day!
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 176
These are my years.....
Julie Grenness May 2020
So, these are my piety years,
A Christian gal lives here,
Jesus is a sweet name, my dears,
He is still in his blessing  years,
Time to stop stressing with fears,
No need for crocodile tears,
In our co-dependency years,
Faith sets us all free, you see,
True liberation for you and me........
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 122
It's a chick thing!
Julie Grenness May 2020
We are crafters, I know,
We do things, row by row,
We''ll do housework at the end of this row,
We said that several hours ago!
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 158
Who doesn't care....
Julie Grenness May 2020
When  did  I learn somewhere,
That Capitalism does not care,
Should have realized when  I was young,
Economies flourish best with guns,
Over here in Oz, you see,
Iron ore and uranium, basically,
These fund our economy,
Is the human race naive?
Depends on what you believe,
Uncle Sam will want you and you,
Take care, young chicks and dudes,
Armed conflict soon everywhere,
When the Covid antidote is here,
Capitalism does not even care....
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 162
ONCE WERE.....
Julie Grenness May 2020
Once were dinners a deux, you see,
Was it only a few months, or a century?
Once were schools abuzz with kids,
Teachers agog to see what they did,
Once were universities,
Alive with youthful dreams, indeed,
Once were pubs with beers.
Once were football here,
These are viral times, my dears,
Once were bushfires too,
A horror story for me and you,
Yes, Stephen King wrote this year,
Once were Oz fun times, not fears.
Feedback welcome.
May 2020 · 186
The Home Office.....
Julie Grenness May 2020
When do we knock off?
Home offices, not for toffs,
I stagger to the desktop,
Yikes, another job!
Guess it won't take me long,
******* my phone, my new song,
We can afford gas for cars vehicular,
But not allowed anywhere particular,
So, we work in the home office,
Jobs designed for masochists!
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 169
TIPS TO SAY
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
Here's some tips I can say,
If I give you advice this way,
You'll never fit through the door!
You're twice the size you were before!
So I'm not doing beer belly ****!
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 188
RAPPORT
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
This is a quest for chicks of any age,
How to meet a decent bloke on life's stage,
Wouldn't have a clue, how to build a rapport,
With someone sincere, who is not a dorb,
We're all humans with feet of clay,
Guess  I won't meet one this way!
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 217
DISCUSS!
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
Can you discuss this with me?
Is honesty anyone's best policy?
Here, truth is no one's friend,
Where does BS start and end?
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 162
PLASTIC SHEEP
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
New Blithering is where I live,
Some laughs this burb does give,
You can buy plastic sheep here,
Do not know if they are dear,
In a store not far away,
Does a plastic sheep think our way?
Could it talk in an ovine way?
Indeed, what would a plastic sheep think and say?
"How did we all end up here anyway?"
"I guess we just did, okay!"
I assume a plastic sheep can think and say,
"I hope you have an awesome day!"
Feedback welcome, have a laugh.
Jan 2020 · 120
LEFT UNSAID
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
This is better left unsaid,
Would  a doctor want this read?
"Growing old is not for jibs,
Your fluid tablets give us the blip!'
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 123
PERSONAL ENCOUNTER
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
Let's visit our sacred space,
Pray for blessings of grace,
Pray for an encounter with the Lord,
If it all came true, we'd all be awed,
Personal encounters with grace,
Hidden, but not far, in our sacred space.
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 186
IS THIS TALKING?
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
Is this talking? A fleeting glance,
Another episode of our non-romance,
He's eye candy for older babes,
He'll saunter off one day,
Is this talking? He blows a kiss,
Imagine being his old miss of bliss!
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 208
STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
Yes, a blessed Sunday morning,
A fresh day dawning,
I pray for faith to unite,
In the early morning light,
As our day of earthly prayers does start,
To be blessed, chats straight from the heart!
Feedback welcome.
Jan 2020 · 161
REPARTEE.
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
My name is Julie Chatterbox,
I do waste thoughts a lot,
I can perform my monologue,
My brain does a yap a lot,
All I have to say,
Is raise your coffee this way,
To stinking thinking, okay?
If you want an opinion, ask me,
I can indulge in repartee!
Feeback welcome, know thyself.
Jan 2020 · 220
A CONVERSATION....
Julie Grenness Jan 2020
I met a check-out chick the other day,
I asked how was her New Year's Day, okay,
She said she had a dreadful New Year's Day.
Her boyfriend battling bushfires with the CFA,
He had never been so far away,
What on earth could I say?
Our firies are like superheroes today,
Right there with Superman, okay?
Would you give them a salary or lunch money? Hey,
They don't do it for the money, okay?
Well, give them all a gold medal,  I say,
When these bushfires are gone one day,
Chats about our firies everywhere these days!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 198
Who is.....???
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
Who is a good person to know?
Each has a path to follow,
I do good things for others, you see,
Remaining kind  and so friendly,
Hearts do need folk to look after,
Souls need peace and laughter!
My path is that of a bard, as well,
Who is good and really swell?
I am being modest, what the hell!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 262
IF I WERE......
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
If I were a world dictator,
I would make peace now, not later,
I would ban bombs and guns,
A new way on Earth begun,
Big dreamers start with dreams,
We could change the world, it seems,
We need peace now, not later,
If I were a kind dictator.........
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 177
TRUE LOVE?????
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
Girl met boy one day,
She dumped him along the way,
He was a ******* for thee,
He called her a ****, you see,
Now he can't get his rocks off, tee hee,
Try not abusing any woman, enough,
You're not an excuse for a man, tough!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 254
I, GIRAFFE.
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
I, giraffe, stand long and tall,
Am I the tallest of you all?
I have such a long elegant neck,
I see above the crowds, by heck,
I can tower over you all,
I, giraffe, stand long and tall.
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 178
NATIONAL HOLIDAY!
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
I was asked to create a holiday,
What about a pyjama day?
We would not get dressed at all,
Stay in bed, hide and stall,
Sit around in flannelette,
Stay in PJ's, don't get dressed,
In fact, don't wash or cook,
Do mental slumming with ****** books!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 409
TALKING DOG!
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
If only this dog could talk,
We'd chat as we went for walks,
Indeed, what would a dog say?
"Hello tree, how are you today?"
"Hello, each blade of grass,
Hope this walk's not my last."
"Hello, cute little poodle,
Puppies we could have oodles!"
But what would a poodle say?
"Just keep on walking, on your way!"
Feedback welcome. Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 252
EXPERT.
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
I'm a teacher for forty three years,
Does that make me an expert dears?
It's a rocket science yet,
Teaching reading to the pets,
Some folk are born to teach,
Educating our students each!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 181
ALTER EGO.....
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
Being positive is my thing,
But I do have an evil twin,
I imagine some weird things,
Like being a gastric surgeon,
Give laryngospasms for these durgeons,
I don't think they'll ever be men,
Ah, it's no use snivelling, you ken?
Hope they get chicks better than me,
Else, who is going to cook your tea?
You must stop being such sooks,
Get off buns, and learn how to cook!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 135
BUS STOP.
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
A writer gawps at society,
I went to a bus stop after tea,
Littered with used syringes,
Drugs evolving, slightly unhinges,
Why do we accept this as normalcy?
It's a challenge for the authorities,
Or for changing norms in society..........
Feedback welcome .
Oct 2019 · 353
EXPLODE!
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
It was a dark and stormy day,
Cooking tea in the usual way,
This was my mother long ago,
"Don't touch the pressure cooker, no!"
Subtly, she left the scene,
Forgot the cooker, its head of steam,
Bang! Did that curry explode,
Mum's response, implode!
"Why didn't you check that stove?"
"You told me not to touch it, no!"
All I can say on this, fifty years later,
Don't use pressure to cook my curry or taters!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 211
ONLINE DATE?
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
A member of the dating scene,
Only online, giggles it seems,
Today a man did 'wink' at me,
Can you imagine, hilarity,
He lives 3000 miles away, by the sea,
****** fungus covers he,
He has more than slight obesity,
Should I wink at the walrus? Tee hee,
I'llpack up my gear and get out of here,
You'll manage without me, non-dear,
I'm off to a walrus by the sea,
You'll learn to cook your lunch and tea,
Byeee! Yeah, well in reality,
I've got cellulite and jocularity!
Feedback welcome.
Oct 2019 · 182
ELDERLY
Julie Grenness Oct 2019
Yes, I'm 65, now elderly,
That's the term, officially,
One day, shopped locally,
Bought a lotto, luckily?
Someone wins tonight, says she,
Dear God, why can't it be me?
Yes, yes, this lotto is lucky,
Wait for the draw, breathlessly,
Anticipate now I am elderly,
Old folk can be winners too, says she,
This is going to be my lucky night,
If I win, I can sort the bill for the light,
Getting old is not for hissy fits,
Come on, lotto, let's have a bit!
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 181
NEWSBOY!
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
Yes, once I did a newsboy job,
With a newsagent I did hobnob,
Our little town at four o'clock,
In depths of winter, quite a shock,
In New Blithering I did search,
Why did Heathcliff leave me in the lurch?
Not to be a drama queen,
I did retire from that scene,
It was quite amusing I say,
Second breakfasts every day,
No wonder we were obese and fat,
No longer a newsboy, that's that!
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 114
REWRITE
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
I rewrote a song called, "Denim and Lace,'
Hope this brings a laugh to your face,
"Pyjamas and Fleece,
I look fat in everything,
And you are a fat old king,
Making me do everything,
Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!"
No hot speed dates to me,
I remove my bra at half past three,
No need to be a sook,
I'll curl up here and write a book,
"Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!'
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 214
ANCESTORS....
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
My ancestors were a funny lot,
Christians, or Atheists who lost the plot,
I meandered into a world of Faith,
A Christian woman, praying for Grace,
We're all on a mission for God,
To a path beyond, we're trod,
Every faith is for free,
It's up to you what you believe,
I must say I am atheist friendly,
All inclusive Christianity.
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 222
CONFESSION....
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
I must confess my love,
Ships in the night, my dove,
I do but see you driving by,
I'll love you till the end of time,
But I do not to pieces to fall,
Fragments of love, that's all,
A smile, a wave, a brief hello,
I confess my love, where did you go?
Or where do you come from, my dove?
To you,  I confess my secret love..........
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 137
SPELL POEM
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
I cast a wish into  the world,
A message from a good old girl,
As  I wish for good intentions,
From a pacifist, I mention,
Make the best of every situation,
Step back from their manipulation,
Nasty makes negativity,
Let's hear it for positivity,
I am okay here today,
Are you okay this way?
Yes, we're both good as gold,
It's a ****** to be growing old,
So let's pray for tranquil ways,
Peace means calm, hooray!
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 159
A DISTANT PLACE.
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
We're all in life's long race,
Pondering on a distant place,
Where we are spiritual beings,
Our souls free beyond dreaming,
No, we can't take stuff beyond,
Immaterial thoughts to wonder on,
Do you believe in the afterlife?
Why wait for peace, no strife?
If we all had a Peace day today,
The world could unite this way,
A distant place, how far away?
Feedback welcome. .
Sep 2019 · 114
THREE LINER...
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
Virgins define their shelves,
Are they left on the shelves?
No, virgins are doing for themselves!
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 377
SILENT SOLITUDE.....
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
I bought a coffee the other day,
Gawped at society on the way,
Coffee shop like the undertakers,
Here no conversation makers,
"The  crowd" sitting in total silence,
Gazing at phones, is it sense?
So much for that coffee shop,
The solitude of worshiping Microsoft,
Alone together, where does it stop?
Solitary silence in the coffee shop!
Feedback welcome.
Sep 2019 · 253
RIPPLES
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
Ripples in a slow river, lazy,
Flowing down time for thee,
All the nostalgic memories,
Ghosts of the survivors, yes,
Living in our hearts to bless,
Then we'll all fade away into space,
Floating away in the ripples of grace.....
Feedback welcome
Sep 2019 · 159
THE HELPER....
Julie Grenness Sep 2019
Yes,  I was born a helper, the Elf,
Though thanks were left on the shelf,
Buddy the Elf is no fighter,
Smiling in peace makes us lighter,
Helpers find solutions, you see,
I am nice to people so nasty,
All I can say is, "Good for me!"
Feedback welcome.
Next page