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Oct 2021 · 95
Sad Part
Ceryn Oct 2021
It is difficult.
This is difficult.
When you're not used to
being around people,
yet you're stuck in a place
where people expect you
to interact, communicate.
No matter how you hate it,
it's just how things should be.
No place for anxiety.
Sep 2019 · 2.9k
Pag-ibig
Ceryn Sep 2019
Pag-ibig ang naging sanhi
Ng mga luhang dala ng sakit
At pagkawasak ng pusong
Matagal na iningatan,
Sa isang iglap ay muling nasaktan.

Pag-ibig ang naging dahilan
Ng labis na pangamba ng pusong luhaan
Kung kaya't inakalang 'di na magmamahal
Ngunit muli ay aking napatunayan
Pag-ibig muli ang nagbigay-daan.

Pag-ibig, hinanap ko kahit saan
Tiwala, ibinigay ngunit hindi man lang nasuklian
Hindi mawari kung bakit lagi na lang
Ang sabi nila'y pag-ibig ang sagot sa pusong nalulumbay
Pero bakit di masumpungan, ano ba ang aking taglay?

Pag-ibig na hindi ko naisip na darating pa
Isang araw ng ika'y aking makilala
Pinilit kong ipinid ang pusong takot na
Nagmatigas man ang puso, pero sa hindi inaakala
Isip na ang nagpasya na pagbigyan pa
Pag-ibig, hindi ko alam na nariyan ka na pala.

Alam kong mahirap hulihin ang puso
Lalo pa't ito'y nababalot na ng galit at takot
Ngunit hindi mo pinansin ang lahat ng ito
Ipinagpatuloy pa rin dahil mukhang alam na alam mo
Na ikaw ay para sa'kin, at ako'y para sa'yo.

Natakot akong mahalin ka dahil ilang beses nang lumuha
At nangako sa sarili na hindi na ito mauulit pa
Ang muli pang masaktan ay 'di na makakaya
Ngunit ang sabi mo nga ay ibang iba ka
Kung kaya't pinagbigyan ang iyong pusong umaasa.

Tinanggap ko ang pag-ibig na iyong inialay
Hinayaan kong ang ating mga damdami'y magkapalagay
Binuksang muli ang puso kahit alam kong may takot pa
Pinili kong papasukin ka dahil aking nakita
Sa iyong mga mata ay may pagtingin na kakaiba.

Pag-ibig, hindi ko alam kung kailan ako naging handa
Pero para sa iyo, nagpasya akong muling maging malaya
Mula sa mapait na nakaraan na siyang bumalakid
Ngayo'y natagpuan ka, at muli kong nabatid
Kung paanong maging masaya sa piling ng isang tunay na umiibig.

Salamat, dahil nariyan ka na.
Salamat, dahil sinagip mo ang pusong wasak na wasak na.
Salamat, dahil muli kong nadama ang tunay na pagmamahal.
Salamat, dahil naramdaman kong ako'y mahalaga pa.
Salamat, dahil natuklasan kong maaari pa akong lumigaya.

Pag-ibig, kaya na kitang ibigay muli
Sa isang espesyal na tao na sa aki'y muling nagpangiti
Pag-ibig na buo, tapat, wagas at dalisay
Isusukli sa pusong nagmamahal sa akin ng tunay
Hindi magdadalawang-isip na ibigay ang buong puso
Sa taong minahal at tinanggap kung sino ako.

Pag-ibig, kaysarap **** madama
Lalo pa't ramdam kong ayaw ko nang umibig pa sa iba
Natagpuan na ang taong nais kong makasama
Hanggang sa pinakahuli kong hininga
Na hiram sa Diyos na sa atin ay  lumikha.

Tayo ang laman ng kwento ng Maykapal
Pinagtagpo upang maging patunay na may totoong pagmamahal
Pinaranas man sa atin noon ang sakit na dulot ng pag-ibig
Ang nakaraan ay hindi na muling manunumbalik
Dahil sa isa't isa, pag-ibig lang ang mamumutawi.

Pag-ibig, ikaw, ako at ang Diyos
Sa atin iikot ang kwento hanggang matapos
Sa piling ng Maykapal, kamay ko'y hawakan lang
Hindi ako bibitaw hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan
Sa'yo lang ang pag-ibig ko, sa'yo lang, aking mahal.
Dec 2018 · 728
You Were Once That Someone
Ceryn Dec 2018
You were once that someone
Who always puts a different color to my days,
Who paints a smile on my weary face,
Who revives my soul with your warm touch,
And untangles me from my own knots.

You were once that someone
Who always pulls me for a dance when I just wanted to stare,
Who blossoms in winter when no one would even dare,
Who hums to a sad melody and makes it just right,
And fights my monsters when I would just resort to a flight.

You were once that someone.
Yes, you were once that only one.
But where in the world are you now?
Are you still in my world somehow?
When the only one that saves you
Leaves you battling alone and unarmed,
Will you still try to fight with just a cold bare hand,
Or just let go of it all, up to the very last strand?

You were once that someone.
How I wish you're still that only one.
But what a healing heart could only do now
Is to finally let go of what has come and gone.
The very thought of finally letting go and moving on always pains me a whole lot inside. A part of me tells me to still hang on to that tiny thread that spells hope, but a voice in my head tells me to love myself a little bit more. I have to choose.
Sep 2018 · 443
I Called It Love
Ceryn Sep 2018
It was hell, but I called it love,
And the whispers of regret became my favorite sound.
Your half-hearted love is what I look for in a crowd,
The games that you play kept me hanging around.

Like a garden of roses of black and purple hue,
More of thorns that cut, leave no mark or clue.
The worst place for hearts so fearless and bold,
Yet the perfect abode for a love that's stone-cold.

Heard my name resound; did you call out loud?
Glad you need me; you know I'm not trying hard.
I held out my hand, but where are you now?
I thought you'd be here, but you're not around.

You always surprise me, was that even fun?
Staying for today, so tomorrow you'll be gone.
Oh, how could you be that despicable someone,
To a girl who just thought you might be the one?

It was entirely hell, but I called it love,
Deep down, I know, it will always be.
But a love like mine won't forever survive,
Someday, I believe, it will set you free.
Nov 2017 · 262
Sad Notes # 1: Never Heals
Ceryn Nov 2017
It's been a while, and yes, I still wonder why.

I wonder why He made all these things happen.
I wonder why He even let us meet at one point in our lives.
I wonder why He made us feel what we felt before we decided to feel nothing at all.
I wonder why He led us towards each other when we weren't even looking at our way,
then all of a sudden, He pulled him back in and made me alone again.
I did not understand a thing.
I did not see any sign.
I did not like the sound of my tears.
I did not like the way we said good bye.

I kept on asking why.

I kept on singing our old songs.

I kept on browsing through our old photos.

I kept on wondering why He made me cry for you so.

I kept on breaking my heart.

I kept on standing on a dry, cracked ground.

I kept on saying that I wouldn't mind,

but after all this time, all I realized...

If it matters more than anything else, it could've made sense now.

And that hit me deep inside.

Because even when I say that we all heal in time,

I knew I still can't love anyone, when my heart has long died.
Apr 2017 · 686
Angel's Harmony
Ceryn Apr 2017
Many days and nights, I wished my life could be like an Angel's harmony
Sweet... Perfect... In tune...
But during those many days and nights
While I wished my life to just come by
As flawless as my favorite fairy tales and fancy novels
Fate strung the wrong string
Pulled me out of my comfort ring
Turned everything upside down
And with billions of people around me somehow
I felt completely alone, doing every wrong thing all along.

Many days and many nights
Like the many nightmares that took away my smiles
While I went on with my own curse,
Breathing in the life that hurt me first,
Exhaling everything out of my weakened body,
Treading on a path that kept me cold and down and lowkey
Saving my weary soul from being burnt
Rescuing others while I was in absolute hurt,
Not realizing what it's all worth.

I thought it could be sweet... Perfect... In tune...

But like that one Angel who deviated from its moral roots,
Like its harmony that's destitute of perfect tune,
I had to live my life in all the darkest rooms.

I just want to run away from all this life's dooms
And run back into His hands and finally find my ultimate refuge.
Mar 2017 · 738
A Tale of Constant Pain
Ceryn Mar 2017
I met you when I was in the worst chapters of my days
When my arms hang loose towards the ground
While a wave of sketchy, grand mem'ries take its chance
To escape from the past, a replay that won't subside.

I met you when my heart started to crash and wear out
When my eyes began to water, tears streamed down
And my mind wandered back the many days and nights
When happiness meant pain and tears and lies.

I met you when the sun began to fade away
And the blue skies turned to a gloomy grey
I saw no light, no sunshine struck my skin
And with the darkness still, I tried to hold it in.

It was the worst of the worst and the days keep rolling
My heart's still broken, empty pieces keep falling
Eyes are still swollen from the tears that never stopped
Wounds are still open but no blood would come out.

I met you when I was a pure image of destruction
I met you when my life knew no life, nor direction
I met you when I was a mess and my life such a waste
I met you when I shut myself close, having no regrets.

Where do I go when the world seems a stranger?
Who do I call when my voice shakes like thunder?
What do I do with the remaining pieces of my heart?
How do I hold on when giving up is easier on my part?

But I met you and you tried to cure my broken heart
I met you and covered up my wounds without a doubt
You met me helpless and you showed me just how
Meeting someone can heal you, and still break you anyhow.

Don't just leave like all the rest, give me something to believe
Don't just walk away and go, don't leave me hanging still
Don't just turn your back, please, face me with the truth
If you have to, don't leave yet, until I've learned to unlove you.
Ceryn Dec 2016
Should I regret?

That I’m still in love with his verses
And all his invisible curses
Weaved into his words that burn
Full of life, made out of love
To find souls wide awake
In the deepest of the night.

I am in love with impossibilities.

I am in love with a soul long gone.

I tried to find [and fake] love

within this boundless earth we are all in,

but I am, no doubt, still in love with him.
Ceryn Dec 2016
We could all be caught up in our own insanity
And betray our hearts with our pasts
Even when the body does what it is expected to do
The mind tries to find a way to bypass.

He was once the person I almost badly wanted
He was once the person who made me spend my nights in tears,
He was once the person I’d love to walk the earth with
He was once the flower that bloomed in the middle of desert feels.

But who are we to foolishly demand from the vast Great Skies?
Who am I to heartlessly betray the present love that serves me right?
Who is he to ruin the trust of the man who would hold me tight?
Who are we to judge how things end up like funny tales we just write?

I am writing this poem not to defend my infidelity to make things seem right.

I am writing this poem, so I know when to say goodbye and just give in to what I can’t fight.

I am writing this poem not to express my [still] burning desire to be with my old flame.

I am writing this poem for the love that took care of me when I know I don’t really care.
Jun 2016 · 3.8k
Skinny Love
Ceryn Jun 2016
There's a certain rush in my veins
When I see your face as it lights up
With bliss and content
While we come together
Face to face
Against a world real pressed
With tears and lies and torment.

The idea of you, just you
Is enough to becalm
The raging ocean of emotions
That has long run wild
In the sketchy corners of my mind
Our destiny, such uncertainty
But amidst it all, you're my sanity.

You showed me truth, my fears subside
You painted my blues with a shade of life
My loneliness, I can perfectly fight
With you right here, nothing's mystified
This is the reality we are facing now
Branded feelings, shall we allow?

We kept each other standing tall
We were there together in every fall
Yes, we could be the perfect match
That the whole world shall have to adore
Afraid, we may seem, but we both know
Keep hiding the truth, but our eyes plainly show.
When someone gives a brand new gleam to our days but we are afraid to burn freely, we may hide. But the sparks in our eyes would simply tell the truth.

That love's light radiates even in the darkest facades of our souls.
Jun 2016 · 669
To Every Woman
Ceryn Jun 2016
It is not your fault to long for his arms
When the night is young but the wind gets rough
To ask for a piece of his time and his touch
It is never wrong to love a woman so much.

It is not foolishness to give your all
When you know that love is your reason
But when love begets nothing but storm
It is never wrong to finally leave him alone.

It is not caprice to long for a love
That takes care of you and your heart
But you don't beg, don't ask for luck
You are a woman; you deserve so much.

If he doesn't realize what you're worth
There's no reason for you to remain
Find a man who is man enough
To love you even when you're stained.

You are a woman; that's not a sin
You are God's gift to the world
You may be an imperfect one
But you deserve to be understood.

If there's only one hope left
Hope for a fearless heart
One that never gets daunted
One that beats and never stops.
Jun 2016 · 536
First to fall
Ceryn Jun 2016
I don't want to dance into the music before he grooves in harmony
I'm trying to keep my notes low before he realizes the perfect melody,
I try my hardest not to speak of rhymes before he makes up his poetry
I don't want to be the first to fall before he gives in to gravity.

I'm hiding the smiles he gave me, the sparks that fill my eyes
I'm keeping away the tingles, from your stares that totally entice,
I would not want to be the first to have my poor heart racing
I don't want to be the first to realize and slowly get the feeling.

I may have had a bad day, but you just turn it upside down
I may have frowned all day long, but you happen to be my clown
I may have hurt myself in the past, but you simply showed me how
To leave the painful mem'ries behind and finally cherish the 'now'.

For many times, I've been in scenes where the characters hurt me so
I have felt an endless rolling of tears from my eyes so long ago
And taking a chance and risking it again might sound a scary show
But though I don't want to be the first to fall, please don't let me go.

You helped me up, you brought life back, you kept me standing tall
Yes, I don't want to be the first to fall, but I'm not scared at all.
May 2016 · 588
Stuck
Ceryn May 2016
I didn't expect that
You didn't care
I was a fool
You left me bare
My love was strong
I've been holding on
Now I realized
It was so wrong.


Days came quick
Nights too long
We were holding back
Now your feeling's gone
As I remembered
Moments that passed
All that I can see
Love's fading fast.


As I waste my time
On this lonely space
My heart's breaking so
I can't make you stay
All I realized
As my tears roll down
Hearts that beat as one
Now a memory gone.


How do I do this now?
How do we stop the rain?
I am blurring my eyes
For still feeling such pain
I don't want to recall
But all those memories replay
But we both know it now
Love's not meant to stay.
Oct 2015 · 769
Steady
Ceryn Oct 2015
But if in separation,
you find yourself much stronger
than you've been with him,
separate.

It may not be a wise decision
to ruin your make up
for someone who
ruined your heart
ruthlessly.

But it would be so much wiser
to still go on with your life
so flawlessly
confidently
genuinely
happy.

For he may not be the one,
but know that
he is surely not a loss
when you finally come to realize
that he's gone.
I am thankful for the memories.
But I am even more thankful for the 'goodbye'.
It was a happy one.
But not the one that I've been dreaming of.
Good bye, my friend.
And be happy with your new one...
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
Valentine
Ceryn Jul 2015
Our hearts, they're magnets,
we're both stuck at each other's warmth.
Our eyes speak louder,
as we see each other through and through.
Our lips, half-open,
expressing love in no disguise.
Our hands feel warmer,
when you grab mine, just squeeze it tighter.

Your smile, a remedy,
They make things right, so fine and tender.
Your words, comforting,
I know you're not gon' make me feel lonely.
Your voice, my weakness,
It sounds so deep, but still so ****.
Your laugh, my happiness,
I got the right one by my side.

You're being the man I want the most,
Your touch, your glances, the lust in your words,
My weakest point, your strength and passion,
Letting you in was my own decision.

I lay you my trust, make me feel no doubt,
I'd be giving out a love that'd tell you what it's all about,
Stuck in love at each other's stare,
There's no other feeling that I can compare,

Give me a love that's true and purest
I'll give you a kind like it's my very first time,
Show me your soul, your mind, your deepest
And let me tell you that you're mine.

You know my secrets, my shivers, my wishes
But you don't know you're one of them,
You are my all, my sparks, my sunshine,
You are a treasure, my dearest valentine.
Bits of corn all around, all around.
Jul 2015 · 2.1k
Not Anymore
Ceryn Jul 2015
I wanted to write this poem for you
To tell you how much you hurt me
When you left me alone with my fears.
It was when I needed you most
It was when I needed your words
It was when I needed your love
'Cause in my other world
I was about to give it all up
My life was such great mess
I've even got a sin to confess
For days, I was so depressed
And I needed you.
Your warmth,
Your care,
Your presence,
Your love.
But at a single mistake
You turned your back
Without a warn.
So I had to face my struggles alone,
I had to wipe my tears alone,
I had to scream and cry alone,
'Cause you were no longer there.
You were never there.
All I needed was you,
but I no longer felt your care.
Guess I should now be aware
You're not my hero anymore.
Sad to admit, but I should know
You're not my hero anymore . . .
At a random moment, when there's nothing left but your immense urge to let your darkest emotions out of your weary soul, you don't really write a poem. You write a curse that kills you even more, when there's no one around to take your hand when things begin to shatter before your eyes, and you're about to take that desperate fall.

And for that one person . . .

Nevertheless, I thank the heavens that you still came my way.
May 2015 · 421
Wake Me Up
Ceryn May 2015
Stay up late,

can he do something about it--
when your tears roll like a stream on your weary surface?
If there is some sense in holding on to such feeling,
would it be much fairer to watch yourself still living?

Love can be lovely; love can be fine
But love is not love when it lets you just die.
Hearts deserve better than longing for a love
that never lasts a day without making you cry hard.

You think you're all alone; they're cautious of your smile.
You get a piece of hell that burns worse than any fire
but what else could cut deeper
than such pathetic desire?
Have you done something wrong?
Have you done things so right?
You can't think straight now; hope's just out of sight.

Was there some 'he' to make you feel alright?
Was there that touch that made each spark bright?
Was there anything else there that'd make you feel
that falling in love now could finally be right?

Pain was quick; hitting us through and through.
Recovery, so elusive; we end up without a clue.
How do we stop the cycle of breaking innocent hearts?

Can we, for once, be wrong for what feels so right?
Can I be wrong with you even when things won't ever be right?
I need some storm to shake my soul.
Apr 2015 · 487
Bygone
Ceryn Apr 2015
There was a time
when I thought that
to avoid you
would be
the cure.

Now, I long
to go back to
the time when I was
**** sick


at least,
I was alive.
Apr 2015 · 516
Snarled
Ceryn Apr 2015
How would I know
if the time is just right
for flowers to bloom in mid-June
for the rivers to flow in quietude
for the skies to break a brand new dawn
for the night to grow with our souls in solitude?

How would I know
if emotions have not come rushing about
like a raging storm when December comes
or like the rustling of leaves against a dry ground
or like the whooshing of wind from the Northern part,
if we are lured, off-guard, by the sound of love?

How I would I know
if destiny had made it right
for love to grow between us like sparks in the sky
for our weary hearts to dance in misty paradise
for our hands to lock as we watch our eyes smile
and to think of us together like it ain't a crime?

How would I know
when it's time to wake up from a dream,
more like a nightmare when I know you're near
but seemingly like a million miles away from here,
when all my life, I've waited for you to come
only to know that you won't hang around?

Your love could be that strong, but I'm at my weakest now
I might have fallen hard, but there are some things we don't allow
Love may be the weapon when hope is out of sight
But love isn't enough when we both know it isn't right.
Love could set us free, but destiny has put the bounds
Forever is but a wish, in our dreams it forever resounds.

*You know I can't love you, when you belong to someone else now.
There's more to life than losing ourselves in pushing a love that's not right.
Mar 2015 · 781
Utmost
Ceryn Mar 2015
There's so much a heart can hold,
but there's only so much it can take.
Dec 2014 · 653
Static
Ceryn Dec 2014
I've written a thousand rhymes
to tell you how much you mean
to me.

I've scribbled a hundred pieces
of my weary heart on the pages
of my diary.

I've missed a lot of moments
and chances to fall in love with
reality.

I've often tried to stop and let go,
I didn't know I would feel this
empty.

If this is so wrong for me to say,
I'd even speak more and
clearly.

If loving you would seem to the world the worst nightmare,
I'd do everything to sleep for
a century.

These are all that I'd love to do
if only I hadn't wasted
so much time.

But to hold on to these things,
even as a dream,
would be such a pathetic
crime.
Unchanging, yes.
Dec 2014 · 852
Dark Room Ruminations
Ceryn Dec 2014
I feel so controlled.
I feel so controlled and manipulated.
Restricted and barred,
Cuffs and braces,
Cells and cages.
Voices . . .

Hush . . .

HUSH!

Let's end this now.
Let's break this doubt.
Stop controlling me.
Stop, control me.
Odd write.
I decided to enter their world.
I didn't know it was that pitch dark.
Dec 2014 · 477
Said And Done
Ceryn Dec 2014
You said you'll be okay, you said you will be fine
Said that there's no one there that you would want to find
You told the world that lie; at home you released a sigh
And let the tears keep rolling down, alone in cold midnight
You drive away so many chances, for many times you hide
Keep losing all your dusty journals, but you keep them in mind
You knew you needed space, but you want his warm embrace
And now you **** yourself rewinding all your sweetest mem'ries.

Now you see it's gone, though words still madly resound
You thought that you should find another, though against your heart's desire
And amidst your life's bothersome haste, you stop and look back on that day
When you vowed to make that lonely hour absolutely worth the pain
And love him forever, despite whatever, completely, come what may
But you were so wrong, love does fade, the story ends today.
Nov 2014 · 543
Eternal
Ceryn Nov 2014
decisions
struggle
efforts
challenge
failure
battle
wounds
pain
s­cars
lessons
triumph
plateau
blank
ploy
guile
games
revelations
d­isappointments
oppression
corruption
injustice
outrage
tears
crie­s
depression
darkness
revenge
revenge
revenge
revenge
death
reven­ge


eternal.
Nov 2014 · 557
Fading
Ceryn Nov 2014
There is a good reason
behind every disappointment
behind every awful failure
behind every painful fall
and every tear that rolls down
from one's weary eyes.

Yes, there is.

And someday,
we'll know what it is,
but I just hope
I'd still be here.
I'm tired.
Sep 2014 · 749
Some
Ceryn Sep 2014
Some things never matter
Some people never care
Some souls never wander
Some heroes never dare.

Some lips never smile
Some eyes never stare
Some love lasts for a while
Some hearts break and wear.

Some books stay with dust
Some flowers die under the rain
Some friends we can't trust
Some stories end up in vain.

Some tongues speak lies
Some smiles take away pain
Some kisses end loud cries
Some promises never remain.

Some glitters never shimmer
Some fame doesn't last a lifetime
Some sad songs forget about summer
Some writers forget about dime.

Some poems are just written
Some poems are out in the sun
Some poems are carefully hidden
Some come out when the poet's gone.
When we realize something valuable about life, it is often when it's way too over and done.
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
Old Flame
Ceryn Jul 2014
I still do.

What could be the question? 'Cause all I have here is the answer.

The answer to all that's been lurking around the corners of my mind.

They have been here, all from the day when I thought that there would be nothing else to spare. I was crushed. I was empty. I felt how your words just faded away from my memory and the memory of those who knew what was there. But still, they are here. Still lurking in the corners of what I'd rather call nowhere.

Guess it would be foolish to hear that

I still do.

How I wish I know what to ask myself when I say the words "I still do."

It's not that I would rather deny. It's just that I don't want to seem so wrong when I know what is going on, when I know what is right and wrong. It could have lived on. It could have made us strong. It could have saved us from feeling completely alone when we knew we were both there. Yes, I know, that was wrong. And so we moved on.

But did we bother ask ourselves what was really going on?

We never did, but

I still do.

No matter how much I say that somebody else has taken my heart away, you still take a part of me, in every luscious word, in every passionate stare, in every gentle touch, in every meaningful day, in my every breath that you would always take away.

You still do.

But I lost you.

And for every unknown question I wish I never have to create, know that there is no other answer to take but

**I still do.
It's always you,
it will always be you,
my old flame.
Apr 2014 · 1.1k
Liham
Ceryn Apr 2014
Every time I look at your face, or just read your name
there's a sudden feeling that things will no longer be the same
there's a painful rush on my cheeks
anticipating for yet another river of tears
and a bitter wrecking sensation deep inside
my head, my mind, my heart, my soul.

Can you feel how badly I miss you?
Just wanting to be touched by you,
aching to hear you say those words again,
longing for that one thing I've always dreamed of
and that's to be forever with you,
even when reality tells us now
that we can no longer be, anyhow
for we both have big lives to live
and pretty soon enough
you're finally bound to leave.

But no matter what happens to us, though apart,
know that you'll always have a special place in my heart,
that if ever you fail to look for what you need
there's always someone waiting for you here.

I may not be the one that you die for
but unless you say goodbye forevermore
in my heart is where our memories will be stored
like the best gem among some other brilliant stones.

I'd like to end my bittersweet poem,
with a message quoted from a song,

The rainbow will end in the palm of your hand;
don't ever let it go.
When the stars won't shine anymore,
I'll be there...


always remember those lines,
and you'll feel me by your side.

Well, so long...
P.S.

You may have never known
but it was really you who fought my raging storms
and brought my sun back again
and cast a ray of sunshine
despite yesterday's rain.

But now that you're going away
and here is where I have to stay
let me tell you everything
through a simple poem.

I will never forget you,
nor the memories we had before.
Not even the words you would always say,
never the feelings that made my days.

I will never forget the guy
who made me feel I'm a different kind
Thank you so much for everything.
If even possible, I'll still be here...

waiting.

:'(
Ceryn Mar 2014
Can you not cry out?
You weren't hurt.
I wasn't either.
None of us seemed to care.
No one around us would even bother.

But I know what not to spare,
not your love that's colder than winter.
And do you know what makes me sadder?
It's when I never saw you there
standing still, shedding tears
asking me to live for years
'cause what you only wanted me to say
is that love has never come our way.
Glad you turned my lips to grey.

You pulled the trigger
and took my breath away,
in another way.

Do not weep on my rock,
or tell lies about man's luck.
'Cause I won't ever leave you alone
Look inside my crevices,
it's where you will be thrown.

Young man, keep calm
Keep your faith real tighter
Wipe my blood and don't seem sober
I won't leave til the very last thunder.
Mar 2014 · 1.1k
Intellectualization
Ceryn Mar 2014
I've cut our connections
and burnt my poor illusions
and tempting provocations
like eternal frustrations
for such hopeless situations
gave me a lot of delusions
and lessened reservations
to hide my expectations
and lamest inhibition
like a huge botheration
to one whose intentions
has faded into oblivion
and nasty desolation.
Mar 2014 · 1.8k
Phoenix
Ceryn Mar 2014
I was inspired by the many cynical minds
from yesterday and behind,
by countless events of outrage
that poisoned and amazed
the universe that once censured my kind.
But I am not backing down
for in the years to come, you'll see me rise
not away from everyone's judgmental eyes
but with fiery flash, I'll have to burn your pride
and jest the world with my old despicable style.
Pardon my style, but my words and emotions won't cease to rhyme.
Mar 2014 · 663
Dolor
Ceryn Mar 2014
She looked older than the years she had born in there
that which caused her to own that odd grey hair
covering her countenance that was once pretty fair
now, out of nowhere, a portrait of despair.

She resorts to lock her sight on black and dried up roses
holding her book of poems that only burnt her wishes
to create a song that made her miss his soft caress
a sober spring tune from a grief-stricken mistress.

Been there from the place where they had first met
when she cries, she remembers what not to regret
hard knock of nostalgia, no one can seem to interpret
caustic flashbacks she can never eschew nor forget.

She knew she'll have to recover before the pain rages on
Again, as this tormenting struggle then continues to go on
No one can tell her how she can finally be able to move on
But memories of the truest love shall always stay and live on.
When a loved one loses a loved one, you just but feel it, too.
Mar 2014 · 784
Damocles' Sword
Ceryn Mar 2014
I don't want to go out and face the sunshine
when all that's reflected on my face and whole life
are the jagged wounds caused by last night's vicious rains,
the asperities of the storm that attacked my sunny days.

I just want to stay here forever (I dare ya'll)
amid great poets' lengthy chronicles and tell-all
inspired by life and love and hope and rebirth
the perpetuation of their luscious grudges beneath the earth.

As I crave for more chancy ideas to come out through words
I desire to ****** my people with a nasty yet vague curse
That whoever imperils me with anything but one shrewd call
In my deathly poetic verses, expect your worst and loudest brawl.
Mar 2014 · 1.0k
Let (Me) Love, Let (You) Go
Ceryn Mar 2014
I got to let go now
but not sure which way to go
or which road to tread on
when I know I still need you
by my side to carry on.

I've been pushing them away
regret is all that's left to stay
perhaps, I need some time to grow
to bring back my lively glow
'cause I have thrown my days away.

Somehow, I want to tell you much
or make you feel my scorching touch
my heart races as I see your face
or even just upon hearing your name
it doesn't really go away that fast.

You left me waiting, wanting to be free
but all you ever made me see
I got no chance to feel true love
all I deserve is some game of luck
in your love, I'd be forever stuck.

*I didn't mean to be so foolish
I didn't dream to be enslaved
In love, I've always been so stupid
But my heart will always feel the same
Yet time will come that we'll both come to know
You'll have to regret your make-believe show
Take your own pains away and let go
Because I am not going to be there anymore.
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Just The Way I Hate You
Ceryn Mar 2014
Tonight, you should know that I hate you.

I hate your handsome face.
I hate your passionate eyes.
I hate your flawless skin.
I hate your **** style.
I hate your messy hair.
I hate the way you smile.
I hate the way you sweep me off my feet.
I hate the way you bring me to life.
I hate the way you make me smile when you know we're both that lonely.
I hate the way you keep me craving for your words that seem to me a remedy.
I hate the way you pull me in and love the way you love me.
I hate the way you love to see me fall into you so helplessly.
I hate the way you take advantage of my short-term honor and fame.
I hate the way you think I don't notice that you never really feel the same.
I hate the way you only want to get what you think you need now in your life.
I hate the way you leave me hanging while I hope for another chance.
I hate the way you just don't care if I'm still feeling good or otherwise.
I hate the way you say you miss me when I know you're downright fine.
I hate the way you say you love me when your heart doesn't really need mine.

*I just hate the way I hate you now when I know I didn't really have to lie.
Mar 2014 · 1.9k
Ephemeral
Ceryn Mar 2014
Can we putter away
a hundred and more days
when all we ever wanted
is to be found at last
in this totally murky space?

Do we regret the hours
we spent together
savoring the words
that don't even matter
to anyone, anyhow
locked up hands
among the naughty crowd?

Shall we toss these letters
out our blood-stained windows
and wished for something
that hadn't caused us jitters
like a genuine touch
from a mother that really cares
but 'twas all lust
we just gave in to our fears?

How do I hate what I didn't mean to love?

Must have been wise enough to know
I could've written a better show
Just that mad to have been carried away
by your love that only crossed my way
unfortunately,
half a day.
Mar 2014 · 472
Dissemblance
Ceryn Mar 2014
I admit.
I am your utterly
disillusioned waste of space.
I play the prominent part
in a lavish masquerade
of all the world's lowly taste.

A fiasco
in my past state.
A ruin
in progress.
A vision of demise
when tomorrow commences.

Sheer disappointment,
I caused to thee.
Holds back from life,
my destiny.
Knuckling under
the dull moonlight
all of my dreams
as they lose from sight.

It's true,
I've been a fool,
making lots of awful tunes.
Wrapping up mem'ries
with shabby rhymes.
Hiding under the rubble
of my shattered life.

I then concede.
I ask you all to plead
from your many gods
forgiveness for a soul
who had lost all control.

Truly,
it was nice
to hear a plentiful
sorrowful
terrible cries.

But no matter what goes on
in the head of the overthrown,
I had to slowly surrender
and give up my own disguise;
it's a new lease on life.

But I hale you all to listen.

For my words are sacred til I die.
But not when I tell you
not to believe when I try to guile.
'Cause while I'm your silver-tongued girl,
I am willing to tell more lies.

*But words aren't much sacred;
never, until you die.
Mar 2014 · 494
Talk Like Rain
Ceryn Mar 2014
Talk like rain
as every drop hits all surface
let your thoughts flow like
blood, dark as your faith
thick as the walls
that separate you
from the world
tell all, confess till you fall
weak on your knees.

Talk like rain
fear not the rhythm
that made you dance again
spill it, out of your head
resist not when it's time
to let go, to begin
it's your moment to reign
don't waste the chance
to be heard and seen.

Talk like rain
yet love like summer, again
do not hold back
do not fear nor regret
let love break the bars
that imprisoned your heart
you've missed the beauty
you've lost that part
don't let it tear you apart.

Talk like rain
'cause I'll be the ground
to willingly catch you
if ever you fall again.
Mar 2014 · 647
Summer's Day Tale
Ceryn Mar 2014
An afternoon warm and dull and bland
Not so special for a nobody's girl in town
Hitting the roads on summer days
Hoping for a little fuss in her insipid space.

Looking for refreshments as the sun goes high
The girl decides to visit a kiosk nearby
Asking for a tumbler of cold cafe latte shake
Handing over some bucks to a lady so irate.

From afar, there goes a fine young man
Oh what a lovely bonus in sight!
Stopping by a lengthy row of costly cars
Not one from them seems to match his aplomb.

The day's warmth, no remedy, to his cool strides
Getting near, she looks away to dodge his hazel eyes
As he walks by, she looks up only to find him there
Gazing at her, but looks away when she pays a stare.

He heads off the streets, with no certain limit
To where his shoes might lead him to
While on a cafe nearby, the girl takes a mango pie
Just to get by the summer's funny tricks.

He enters the zone where the girl takes a sip
Of her heavenly cafe latte shake
Just a round table away, he takes a glance again
And the girl wonders just why he's there.

She checks her phone, holds her glass
Not even thinking 'bout the seconds that pass
Taking a sip, she tries to steal a glance
But in a jiffy, he's nowhere to be found.

Feeling disappointed, she rises from her seat
Leaving a tip on the beige table mats
But before she goes on, she notices a small note
On that young man's cluttered table top.

She reads a line from a song and it turns her on
But taking in the message doesn't feel right
It reads: *"Oh it's sad to belong to someone else,
When the right one comes along..."
Mar 2014 · 1.6k
Vanity
Ceryn Mar 2014
A sign of desperation
Of envy, of misery, of dejection
Of hopeless yearning for nothing lifelong,
As almost everyone can barely notice.

Worldly desires, oh futility!
Images of true vainglory
Captives of fake reality
Stuck in their reverie
Of exaltation and flattery
Fishing for praises so badly
Insensitively, so unrelentingly
Without a thought or two.

What do you hear? What do you see?

These people sound so thirsty
Of approval and regard and dignity
Capricious predisposition, tomfoolery!

Looking for love and delight
For honor and respect and might
For grandeur and luxury
For anything but worthless beauty,
For a way not to be left behind or aside.
What a surrealistic find!

Amuse me; let the world drool for thee,
But like a century-long malady,
Such an absolutely incurable affliction
It is nothing but merely, purely,
Just as trivial as this poetic entry,
**Vanity.
Mar 2014 · 1.2k
Sucks
Ceryn Mar 2014
Pungent heartbreak dews
Pouring, dropping, sinking down
Deep under my crust.
Mar 2014 · 418
Hello Poetry
Ceryn Mar 2014
There is a right place for dreamers
To scatter a pinch of their silver dusts
Over their words of real intensity
Away from a way too cluttered universe
Of the ones who crave for glory.

This is the right sphere
To fight against our beguiling demons
And knock them out of our lives
And silently bawl when they hit us
Dodge the attack of a million knives.

This is the haven of the wildest cries
Of a thousand lies from cursed lips
Burning souls from awful twists
Winging life out of the least
Becalming rhymesters’ shaking fists.
Mar 2014 · 274
Falling Over Again
Ceryn Mar 2014
And when I dreamed of you, I know I’m losing you
I have no power over what I know isn’t true
You were like a million catch of flowers on a cold and barren ground
And just that beautiful when you took my heart

Free, you let those feelings fly around
You never hold it back
‘Twas easy for you to say those words
You never knew, it felt so good

So high, you brought me into highest lands
And pulled my thorns unarmed
Proving to me you’re worth it all
But now, I know I had to break my heart.

If you only see my invisible tears
You would know how much you made me feel
Had to bear with this pain again
‘Cause every day, I wait in vain.

I know I’m not the one you need
But would you mind if you try to erase my fears
I just want to get over you now
Just glad I had it with you, felt it somehow.
Mar 2014 · 258
Say Something
Ceryn Mar 2014
Like there’s nothing there
to keep us alone, or restrained, or apart.
That there’s no way
to feel no hope, or no sunshine
or pain in our hearts.
About matters that matter not
when it comes to life, or faith, or love.
Just a simple reason
to remain alive, or sound
or standing on this desperate ground.
Feb 2014 · 273
Save Me
Ceryn Feb 2014
‘Cause I’ve seen too many faces, places
But I’ve never been to my own heart
A phase gets replaced and
A lot clogs up that weary part.

When you smile, hold for a while
While I try to clean up this crazy mess
I see you, and then I just knew
You are all I ever need, my happiness.

Maybe, there’s a secret way around
To find out what’s yet unrevealed
Inside of us, will you mind the fuss?
Can you break the latch and let it be real?

It’s you, just you that I’ve been looking for
For you, only for you, I will stay alive
When you look into my eyes, I see it right
Time has come for me to realize, you’re in my life.

When all else fails, I just don’t know anymore
You’re all I ever need to find that door
And open up that part that just keeps closing, hiding
‘Cause for you, I’d risk myself into believing


*That you’d save me just before I miss this chance…
Jan 2014 · 354
Like An Amber Light Dilemma
Ceryn Jan 2014
You left me tongue-tied, young man,
Feeling like a soldier with no gun.

Reached for the last piece on the ground,
Still, tripping all over, unarmed.

My lost soul, you found it crumbling,
At the very break of dawn, not surprising.

You gladly took me in your arms,
And all at once, I felt the warmth.

But the next hours were just so tough,
You stole my heart, but just put the flame out.

Spoke your words out of the blue,
From a couple o' songs with a lonely tune.

Please give me a reason not to ever quit,
Love burns, but for you, I'm willing to take a risk.
Jan 2014 · 403
House of Cards
Ceryn Jan 2014
Dreams, yes, they do come true
Feelings, they're not always blue
Evenings, they're not always dull
When I know I am with you.

Emotions, they come spinning 'round
Laughter, you have caused me that
Butterflies, they don't always fly
'Cause here inside me is where they lie.

Small talks, it's just you and I
Cold days, I don't even mind
Quick gaze, more than eye to eye
I could melt when I see you smile.

Maybe, I was born to die
Breathless, stuck within your smile
Careless, dared to play the game
Love, like no one's to blame.
Jan 2014 · 562
Randy Style
Ceryn Jan 2014
Get the best of me, get the rest of me
Slowly, we'll bring back the sun in your sky
I knew you'd do the best for me, let the rest see
Slowly, make them feel we're just off and high.
Let me be the best that I could be, rest on me
Slowly, take those threads off and lie.
Feel the rest inside of me, the best you'll see
Slowly, gently, let me hear your loudest cry.
Forget my mystery, just take your time with me
And let the angels die, for that heavenly sigh.
Jan 2014 · 434
Sham
Ceryn Jan 2014
Out of all the souls around
That's willing to take the sword from your hand
You'll never really know who's who or not.
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