I cannot seem to think on my own. People think for me and I feel alone. But without them I would not be around. I hear a voice in the background. I say background but do I mean it? I don't, its probably just another memory slip. Wait, I do mean it. But instead, it's all in my head. My best friend is my bed. I gotta get in the booth and get emotions recorded.
Everything is distorted. Things start to move. I become someone else. A new person. A new identity. New everything. The whole works. I wish i was dead. They tell me it's in my head. I'm gonna survive. I know it look like I'm being lazy. I promise I'm trying, my head is crazy. I know I'm not but they don't. And I know they won't. When episodes occur, I just lay in bed, Still staying in my head. I do nothing but pick it back up. Whether it be crystal or my double cup. My person calls this Type of cycle insanity. I love her, my family, she is all I have. Without the love, I would be gone. Without the love, There would be no me. I need her just as much As she needs me. Without the love, I do not thrive. Without the love, I will not survive. Without the love, You can push and shove And not get anywhere. I'm so lost in my head, I don't even know my own way out. I only know the way to my bed. Momma knows best as I lay my head to rest.
Bound, bound, bonds ******* A ***** glance, a frown, a sneer A hostage I'm kept, stolen and handed out Stout beer, a stout bottle of bitter beer I'm passed over with no doubt No fear Kept and praised, so dull over the days Hostage is now holding down tears Got in a web, in a puzzling maze Woods, roads, chase After something Something else A circling race Fearful Doubtless Meaningful Meaningless Kept, stolen And handed out Again and again Bonds
(please read into it whatever you want, it's just a (kinda) rhymed flow of consciousness.)
Everyone! Everybody! If you all could shut the hell up For a just one sec, I like to propose a toast.
I’m the designated driver to my friends when they can’t make it home I’m everybody’s therapist really good to talk to without questions or judgement. I’m the priest you confess your sins to because you’re desperate for forgiveness or afraid to have a one-on-one with God. I’m often asked how I’m so lit without any refreshments.
I’m clear as *****. I don’t need anything extra to tell the truth to have a good time to say yes or no.
I can dance my *** off and remember last night was dope. The morning after I grab my bottle of ***** drinking my issues, blessings, and my fun. Sweet as honey going down.
So, if you think I’m lame *******. I’m actually quite the energy ball. If you think I’m better than you get your head out of your ***. At least I don’t act like a fool. You think I can’t hang with you. No. Don’t get the **** twisted; You can’t hang with me if shrinking your liver And burning your lungs like paper is the only thing on your agenda.
I know you have cancer. I have cancer too. We all have it. And it *****.
So we take our meds to treat the symptoms; to feel better to feel like we’re one step closer to curing the illness To feel like everything is going to be alright even when it’s not gonna be.
The difference between you and me is that I take the shots the bartender AKA life pours into my glass. I drink and it’s sweet as honey going down. Clear as *****.
But please! By all means, drink what’s in your glass. Light that **** up. Just leave me and my tall bottle of ***** alone.
Because I am about to get shaken and stirred until I fall the **** out.
No, the drinking ain’t a social thing The silence has been defining So press my mind just like a bell rings We’ll see what the hell that all brings Cram another dose into the schedule Right up until it’s consumed my soul Stuff my mouth, ‘til I’m a painful full All syllables, the argument’s controlled
The taste is fun and it all sounds sweet It coats my nightmares with bright dreams I can choose to become a story But all pages can be left burning The future is blank with a purpose No one truly knows what comes next I’ve got less worth, but I’m not worthless Even when we’re getting close to it