It's not your fault, for lying.
it's not your fault, for being in pain.
its not your fault, for loving someone.

it's not your fault, for being hated.

Would you pull me close?
If i start to walk away
would you let me in?
and tell me we're okay?

Would you dare choose me?
if i ask you to choose,
Will I win against her?
Or would I just lose?

If i ask you if you love me
I know what you'll say,
you really did love me
but your  "love" is not okay

Yes you do love me,
but you also love her
I'm sorry you have to choose..
or else...we're over

I






want




you



to





love






me...

you said
you would
love all of
me

but instead
you loved
the person
i pretend to be

i get up
from bed
staring blankly

i look at myself
in the mirror
and got myself ready

as i was about
to head out
i see the mask

i sighed and
got it from
my desk

as i put it on
tears escaping
from my eyes

i thought
i could be who i am..
but the real me... already
died

i turn each page
of the book
with anticipation

anticipating if
the princess gets
the prince?

if the hero
gets to save the day
yet again

if the ugly duckling
became the beautiful
swan it was meant
to be

but instead
when i turned the page
of this book
i have

i realized
the lost girl
didnt get to find who
she was

the lost girl
didnt get
to see the light

and now she was
a broken wing
broken beyond
repair

and that lost
girl
was me

i lost myself
and i had no
chance
to see the light

because i was
already
drowning

and was too far
gone
to be saved

Why can't I
be your perfect
daughter

the daughter
you always wanted
and will always be proud
to have

instead i was the
daughter
you regret keeping

i became the
daughter
you feel ashamed
to call your own

even if i deserve someone better
even if i deserve someone who'll be there
someone who'll care
someone who'll genuinely love me, for who i am...

deep down...
i've always wanted that "someone" to be you

She was a pretender
she hid all her pain behind a mask
but no facade last forever
and that mask, fell apart at last

there you'll see
a girl who's broken and upset
that girl...was me
that moment...i will never forget

As I watch you smile
As you tell me you love me~
and you said you're glad to be mine
you looked so happy

As i hugged you
and felt your warmth
i guess this what heaven must be like

As I watch the kids, being fetched by their parents
I frown and looked away, as I got fetched by my driver
I quietly sat down and had to endure the silence
my misery worsens as i hear kids laughter

I was trained to be an heir
with everything on my plate
I'm grateful and happy for it
but I jus't didn't want this fate

As i ate on the kitchen table..
i only saw a note from my dad
"I'm going out for awhile, tell your mom"
Do i have the right to be mad?

"MOM I HAD ENOUGH!"
tears beginning to escape my eyes
my mom looked at me confused
as to why i started to cry

mom, dad, I don't need fame
mom, dad, I don't want your money
What i want, is something you can't buy...
"I just want you... to love me"

and thats what they have to realize...
that something..money can't buy

No matter who you'll love
Please, never forget
we may not be meant for each other
but our promise, is meant to be kept

I promise to be your best friend
no matter what you say or do
So even if you belong to her...
I will always love you

Even if you wont love me
Even if you wont feel the same way
I'll never leave you, i promise!
don't worry, I'll always be okay~

I was talking about everyone
while she remained quiet
which made me curious and ask her
"why do you look so upset?"

she sighed as she held my hand
as she looked into my eyes and say
"you keep telling me wonderful things you did..
but let me tell you, this is not okay"

"not okay? how so?"
i asked wondering whats wrong
she looked away before saying
"You always we're too strong"

"you never doubted anything, you only loved them
you adored them, no matter what they say or do
but let me ask you, one thing..
have you thought about yourself? like...what about you?"

"are sad?"
always

"why are you quiet?"
because I want you to notice me

"are you okay?"
NEVER

"yeah, I'm fine :)"

boy: I'll buy you anything you want


          girl:....You can't buy what i want


boy: confused huh? tell me, what do you want? I'm sure I can get it for you


          girl:points to his chest I want this...I want your heart..I want
                  you to love me... and you can't buy this..You're supposed to
                  give it

Let me bloom
like those flowers in the garden

Let me be free
like the birds in the sky

For a second, don't remind me of who i am..
Let me be..

I want to love me too..
but its just too hard
doing it alone :<

how can you dictate who i can be and will be?
how can you tell me I like this and i hate this?
how can you say you know me?

I dont even know who i am!
I. DONT. EVEN. KNOW. ME

"You're boring"
I know...

"what's there to love about you?"
Please...stop...no...

"this isn't working out"
I thought we were meant to be?

"I'm leaving"

please...

don't....

leave....

me

what if i was meant for you?
what if you were meant for me?
what if this is it..
what if we're meant to be?

don't be scared
please take my hand
This journey will hurt
but please try to understand

I will always be here for you
I'll give you everything one day
so I'll kiss your head, and promise
That i will love all these what if's away!

The clouds are so beautiful in the sky
I wonder if that’s like you and I
Do I complete you, like the clouds with the sun so bright?
Because you make me shine like the moon in the night

"you misunderstood me"


"everyone does"


"no matter how many times someone looks happy, confident, hopeful, strong, perfect.."


"they can get tired too, you know..words can scar them, failures can break them, insults can tear them down and everything else can make them hate who they are..they can get hurt too"

....

"I .... can get hurt too"

i make poems
i type and i type
hoping one day I'll  be known
and my talents will be acknowledged and shown

How am i suppose to give love?
when i just got it myself?

"promises are meant to be broken"
it is not meant to be broken
it has BEEN broken

it has been broken because you weren't honest
it has been broken, because you didn't cared
didn't care enough to fulfill it
don't you know how that's really unfair?

People make excuses for the promises they cant keep
so they decided to blame it on fate
when really, they're the ones who we have to hate

promises aren't meant to be broken
we aren't suppose to forget
because someone out there is waiting...is hoping for it...
so....




promises are meant to be kept...

"I love you"

We may say it
but do we mean it?

we search for it
but do we know how to handle it?

"I love you" is one of the most beautiful phrases to tell
a person, they're someone special in your life

but this phrase has been abused
this phrase as been misused

to describe a petty crush
or it has been confused with lust

"I love you" nowadays is said to anyone
when it's meant for your "the one"

the girl/boy you just met online,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you just had *** with,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you hate,
"i love you"

i love you is suppose to be something genuine
you tell and you want all your loved ones to say

but why do we treat it as an excuse or a reason
to force someone...to stay?

he slowly approached life
who was shimmering with hope
he dared not to touch her,
for the fear, he will hurt the one he loved the most

but life saw the pain in his eyes
and decided not to care
as she held his hand and held it close
and death thought "life was indeed, unfair"

"Why are you doing this?"
he said with deep regret, in his voice
she looked at him lovingly as she caresses his face
"i felt, this was the right choice"

And right there and then, he watched life
as she started losing all her strength and glow
she weakly smiled. "I love you" she whispered
before she disappears, she wanted to let him know

Now death continues his journey
remembering life as his best memory
she taught him how unfair everything can be,
not even death, can predict what happens to thee

what if one day,
i wont remember who you are?

what if one moment will cause me,
to forget all the memories we share?

Will you take my hand?
and try to understand?

or will you let me go?
if you do, just please let me know

but i promise you, if you stay
i'll remember it all again one day

because i may forget who i was,
but never who i loved...

my heart won't forget you...

You were supposed to love me
more than anything
you were supposed to see
how much I'm breaking
But instead, you caused me pain
and now the wounds show up again
I was never mad...
i was only in pain

It’s so wide and so clear
But it could also be misty or filled with tears
Tears from the clouds that held on for too long
Thunders and lightnings from the heavens who were tired of being strong
I wondered what it’s like to be in the sky
So way up there, just so high
The breathtaking view and the relaxing air
Oh how I wish, I was to be able to live there

I have photos on my wall
everywhere i see
the friends i used to have
the old young me
in each picture, there was a memory
and just so much more
but each picture keeps reminding me
the moments, i cant go back to anymore

My smile hides everything
no one will get to see
That the girl in the mirror
Was never even me

The flower in the garden
will one day be gone
it may be beautiful now
but it wont last that long
So like a flower one day we will see
In the end, How broken we would be

You saw me
I saw you
You went up to see me
I smiled back too
You asked me how I’ve been
I said I’ve been great
Then your tears started to pour
You said you regretted everything..
You regretted pushing me away
When I kept on catching you
You regretted hurting me
When I was the one always saving you
You looked at  me, crying
Shaking and looking scared
“I regretted losing you when you were the only one who genuinely cared”

Those are the times
Where mornings seems shorter
And the nights seems longer
Those are the moments
Where you lay in bed
With nothing but thoughts
Thoughts in your head
Feelings in your heart
Sometimes even just wondering
Why everything fell apart?
Sometimes you’ll just feel empty
You’ll just feel tired
You’ll feel like being happy
Was a facade you always lied
Sometimes you’re just there
Laying in bed
No thoughts in your head
Sleepiness wasn’t knocking on your door
Seeing times passes by more and more
You lay there with your eyes blinking
Staring at the ceiling, thinking
“Why is this happening to me?”
“What was happening?”
“What’s wrong with me now?”
“What changed?”
“Where did I go wrong?”
You start to retrace your memories
From the very beginning
You start to think back about those times
Even some bad endings
That’s where the tears starts coming
That’s where your eyes starts blurring
You didn’t know what was happening to you
You didn’t know if the sadness you felt was true
Was it the sadness you kept for so long?
Or was it just because you were tired of being strong?
You didn’t know
But you laid there
Crying
Sobbing
Whimpering
Sniffling
Just letting out your emotions with this cry
Without even knowing why
But as you finish crying
You started thinking
Now you’re staring
Not knowing what you were looking
But you felt empty once again
And the cycle starts over again
Until sleep
Finally comes to you
Your eyes now feel heavy
Your mind feels light too
But you know that was already too late
You accepted your fate
Sleep was always came slow
So now it was morning again
And the night became another

Sleepless night