I have spent a thousand sleepless nights
But none more
Than the ones I spent next to you
and it only occurred to you upon glancing at yourself today
how lonely it feels
hands pressed against your body this way
tide shifting to move mountains
to let your latest current through
the infrequent sighs
signs of some meaning to come
once the other hand has won
then is it time for you to run?
come down from your mountain top
where heaven's always too late
climb out of that hole
the one you dug with your own hands
come taste the moonlight
feel the dew like cool sunshine
sink into your skin
breathe in the breeze
let this wilderness seep in
this is garbage but i needed to get some words out
Those are the times
Where mornings seems shorter
And the nights seems longer
Those are the moments
Where you lay in bed
With nothing but thoughts
Thoughts in your head
Feelings in your heart
Sometimes even just wondering
Why everything fell apart?
Sometimes you’ll just feel empty
You’ll just feel tired
You’ll feel like being happy
Was a facade you always lied
Sometimes you’re just there
Laying in bed
No thoughts in your head
Sleepiness wasn’t knocking on your door
Seeing times passes by more and more
You lay there with your eyes blinking
Staring at the ceiling, thinking
“Why is this happening to me?”
“What was happening?”
“What’s wrong with me now?”
“Where did I go wrong?”
You start to retrace your memories
From the very beginning
You start to think back about those times
Even some bad endings
That’s where the tears starts coming
That’s where your eyes starts blurring
You didn’t know what was happening to you
You didn’t know if the sadness you felt was true
Was it the sadness you kept for so long?
Or was it just because you were tired of being strong?
You didn’t know
But you laid there
Just letting out your emotions with this cry
Without even knowing why
But as you finish crying
You started thinking
Now you’re staring
Not knowing what you were looking
But you felt empty once again
And the cycle starts over again
Finally comes to you
Your eyes now feel heavy
Your mind feels light too
But you know that was already too late
You accepted your fate
Sleep was always came slow
So now it was morning again
And the night became another
My body shifts and the world is shaking at my feet
Yet the birds sing all around me as I try to sleep
Is my mind playing tricks on me that I'm unable to tell the difference from reality?
The physical pain when I'm without you draws me closer to you.. but you are bad for me… but as I sleep with this pain in my mind caused by you to make me want you even more
Was it love?
. it's a vicious cycle
As the sun and the moon. I'm the Earth you created me the son who you gave life in the balance of the right amount of warmth and cold heartedness
As I'm just a boy who sees the mind of when I sleep..and the beauty it can be but to have you together awake and happy together the perfect love it could be.. would be the destruction of my body in which I can bring your dreams to reality..
Right now you.. together…
You would never need to sleep or to eat you be out all day and all night and forget about the son you left at home while you partied but I'm only 3 years old… I can't even reach the stove
What am I even talking about? I'm crazy go to sleep... It's 6 am already
Comparing life in many different scopes
In the quiet of the night,
it's when my mind can't seem
to keep quiet.
Running at a hundred miles with no
Head spinning and mouth
stomach turning with
non-stop reminders of the
what if's and never know.
All the things I shouldn't think
Shivers travel my body as
the temperature of the room starts to drop.
I've come to a realization that I'm scared to voice.
Got company over, one that I didn't invite.
A guest that can't stop babbling in the morning,
afternoon or the middle of the night.
I'm afraid it's the only one that has been coming around lately,
can't remember when I gave them a key.
Part of me doesn't want to change the lock, so
I don't end up all alone so I set up the table and shake hands
with the darkest of thoughts.
Let it haunt me at night
and freak me out on my way to work.
Curse my loved ones out and convince me
to leave everything behind,
'Cause I'm not worthy of their love.
When will I realize that bad company
it's not better than no one at all?
I still can't sleep
Is there something in my head
That makes me not want to sleep
It's a complex mind that I have
Just a hollow mind
Or is it
I can feel something's going on
It just doesn't feel right
Am I to say that I have feelings to compensate
Maybe I guess
It's not insomnia either
But what could it be
It's a mixed up life for me, but what's causing this remains a mystery.
Heavy breaths bounce in the corners of my room
while tears stream down my face as I wonder
what's the reason this time around.
In the back of my mind, I know for sure
why it's 1am and I can't sleep again.
It's scary to say it out loud.
I pull up my phone to distract my brain
since it seems like it can't keep quiet but
all the images remind me that I
don't have anyone to call to ask them
to help me out.
Even my dog leaves quietly towards
my parents' bedroom even though they
haven't got home yet.
I don't start to calm down until
these words make their way
into the notes on my phone.
I can breathe again.
- panic attack.
My eyes are flooded with tears unshed,
My mouth overflowing with words unsaid.
Words of happiness and tears of sorrow,
Are threatening my vision of the morrow.
My heart is empty, numb, and dull,
My brain a desolate prison cell.
No temptation, incentive, motivation,
Could ever get my heart to feel emotion.
The ceaseless creaking of my bed,
The endless wonderings of my head,
As I toss and turn at night,
Debating whether I should want the light.