"I got something to tell you, but don't know how I'ma say it
I guess that I could only say one thing
Boy, I been bad again, Boy, I been bad again
And I use 'em
When I'm faded I forget
Forget what you mean to me
Hope you know what you mean to me
Pick, up your phone
The party's finished and I want you to know
I'm all alone..."
...
I been using them to distract me.
I been using them for fun.
But, the parties finished, and I want you to know, I'm all alone, and I always want you when I'm coming down.

Addicted, to fun like it's a drug.
I take what I like and I like what I take.
But, I always just want you, when I'm coming down.
Baby, don't leave me.
Don't be angry, they not important.
You are.
I need you, not them.
They just toys, but you something special.
I am rather secretive and discreet about my intentions and motives, I don't tell, I don't whisper a word.
I do this sin, without anybody knowing.
No one, but me knows.
I just, always want you, when I'm coming down, daddy.

I think I'm ****** gone, rollin on this floor.
Messin up the carpet, I'll get on it after 4.
Obsession to the form.
Can't believe I made it, But I made it, that's for sure.
They don't want my love, they just want my potential.
Baby if you knew, the feeling I would give to you.
I'ma play you like a game boy, don't want one, what's the thrill of the same toy.
But it takes one night, to prove, the feeling I would give, to you.
The more I have, the more numbness I circum.
The less emotion involved, the more fun I have.
Addicted to the thrill.
Fun inspires me.
I've always been the **** one they all want.
I give them what they need, but never what they can have, because, I will simply leave.
Leave you wondering.
...
Life of the party.
I go down town with the drugs in my body, filled to the top, pain buried.
I taste it, then I throw it.
Welcome to the other side, lust.
Baby step outside your mind.
Just take it down low.
If you wanna do it baby, I'm ahead with you.
You can follow me...
Take that step, you're the life of the party.
...
I got two ladies, I got one little room, there's a room full of ******, baby what you wanna do
... ?

I might just be too good for you, or you too good for me.
So immune to love, so unchangeable.
Will you take me in?
You did many things, that I liked.
And your name deserves to be in my heart.
But you sleeping with a frozen heart and it belongs to someone else.
You made me feel so real, so unacquainted.
You brought the thrill, the risk, the rush.
I live for danger...
I haven't been around town in a long while, with you.
I apologize, but I've been trying to get over you by seeing them.
And you wished me good luck, to find somebody to love.
Honey please, don't leave.
I just might be too good for you.
Unrestricted, so priceless.
I'm everything.
I deserve it.
...
Take me in

I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but chains and whips to cover the truth.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but wounds and scars to cover the pain.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but twists and schemes, to cover the hate.
You may deny me, you may admit me, you may underestimate me.
But somehow, I have you questioning yourself.
I'm just a beautiful liar, trying to be good.
I lie with no remorse, yet, I tell the truth bluntly.
I know my capabilities, only a few I choose to use it on.
Don't trust me, and I won't trust you.
I'm just a beautiful liar, beggin, to be good.
Punish me daddy, for I have lied to tell the truth.
For I have sinned to be good.
For I have underestimated my own intelligence, to get my way.
I'm just a beautiful liar, covered in promiscuity.

Hello darkness, my old friend.
It's been a while.
Can you feel the tension, the pain.
The blood has started pouring again.
The blade hit my thigh and drip, did the drops go.
The depression came back, harder than it did before.
Sudden, like an electric shock.
Sitting all alone in the darkness.
My body feels numbs, but my wounds hurt, but not as much as the pain inside.
Feelings of intensity, emotion of density.
Fragile and lost.
Soulless and  incomplete in these dark stages I encounter.
Drag me along to the pits of the underground, where I belong.
Burn me alive whilst I ache in torment and misery.
Banish me, whilst the claws rip me apart, inch by inch.
I am exposed, while hiding my feelings is something I'm used to.
But, you opened me, and there's no sewing me back together.

My soul cries, for it never ends.
Will I be, denied, tourniquet.
My sorry soul.
Lingers in the path of hopeless screams.
Desires that reach no peak and voices that have no meaning.
Blood that spatters in a pool of red liquid.
Like a fountain of twisted nightmares, all gathered into one torn drenched wet coat of seamless stitches.
I wait, but you don't appear.
You wait, but I don't arrive.
Perfect by nature, I endure self indulgence.
Look what you made me.
A worthless bag of a desperate plead.
Have you no shame, don't you see me?
You've got everybody fooled with your filthy lies of manipulation.
Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie.
I don't love you anymore.
You don't know how you betrayed me.
You killed me.
I have NEVER felt pain the way you stabbed it in me.
Through my vessels, my skin, my muscles.
So the revenge I took, and you came back begging.
Remorseless I was, I was too powerful for your burdens.
Stronger I became, and I laughed behind your back in pure happiness and sacrificial power.
You, will NEVER, defeat me.

With a shadow creeping behind me, making every promise empty.
Intoxicating my nerves, I am being chased.
Stalking my forecast, I run at ten speed.
No stopping, I turn around to see a shadow so empty, its mere whispers have demolished into misty ash.
It haunts my every being and stalks my rotten prey.
It displeases my humanity and consumes my lost soul.
I run, run so fast, the lights hit bloom.
Scared, fearful of what it can do, I look down, I see the shadow
...
The shadow was you.

The ghost I'm trying to escape, just keeps coming back.
The feeling is poison, but beautiful at the same time.
The feeling is toxic, but fills my void of loss and emptiness.
You're a bad guy, playing with my emotions and unleashing my toxic tears.
Confusing my feelings and handling me like a puppet.
Why do I love you?
Since you're the master of puppets, you've dominated and learnt to control me.
Let me go.
Or I will turn around, and leave.
Leave you empty, till you lose control.

I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile.
Trust in me and you will fall, I will turn around and leave.
I will only complicate you, my emotions will have you doing wrong.
My worth is of no use to yours, you're too good.
I dance in my flames.
Flames that ravish my desires.
Why won't I stay?
The love never lasts and fights betray.
My fists are my words and my words are a knife.
It opens the wounds as the truth is then revealed.
I don't trust nobody, but somehow, everybody trusts me.
I will love you forever, if you can stay, to wash away this pain.
Don't leave me, then I won't leave you.
No one seems to like me, but there are a few that love me, love me for the pain, love me for the scars, because, I am just a worthless liar, trust in me, and you will fall.

"It be safest if you ran, that's just what they all just end up doing in the end."
''Take my car, paint it black, take my arm break it in half, say some things, I never said, it's too quiet in this room I need noise"

I need the blood in the cut, I need the drip of the blood to tell me it's right.
I'm scared of losing you, maybe a cut will help heal my pain.
Emotions this intense, I've never done this in a while.
But memories are coming back, negative emotions I cannot face.
I envy what might happen if I lost you, I fear what might happen if you left.
They all ended up leaving, what makes you so different, that it won't happen again.
Memories of feeling empty, lost, confused, speculated into one piece of a disaster gone wrong.
Never meant for any of this to happen, but it did.
I love you, I don't wanna lose you.
I need you, I don't wanna be away from you.
But my guilt has taken over, and I feel bad.
I don't wanna lose you, but I'm losing myself.

I love it when you take control, I love it when you re-own me.
I love it when you squeeze my gut, I love it when you re-establish me.
So you're a bad guy?
Think again...
Dominate you until your juices explodes.
I'm your savage, a perfect mystery.
A weapon, a long lost slavery.
Misguide your imperfections and make you tell me again,
Who's the bad guy?
**** with your mind and turn the page, write a new script and flip a new chapter...
But you like it really rough, hmm, tough guy.
Let's go again, I'm your bad guy, you're my *****, think again...
I just make you think you're my daddy, and you think I'm your *****, it's called the master of trickery.
But it's the other way around, That's how good I am, at being the bad guy.
But you still wanna **** with me, you love it, **** with you like you ****** with me the other night.
But that's the thing about my duality, she likes it really rough, she's tough, she plays games and always wins.
You lose, tough guy.
I'm the bad guy, hmm...
DUH
...

>Stained on the lips, as you bite your lip hard, the blood drips, the taste of metal against your tongue.... sacrificial blood as the passion awakens...

<My body yours to the soul I give
Blood feeding into our veins
Drinking from my cup
O' holy grail
Fill you up
Can you ******* pain

>Feeding on my my insides, my body yearns for the touch. I feed onto your pain, as you unleash your burdens onto me, I feel your touch soaking deeper onto mine, I crave your sensuality, your erotica got me feelin' weak

<The words you never speak seeping in my skin
Holding all inside sharing love and sin
I feel you
I know you
You writhe in serpents hive
Let's wind back the dangers
Let us  **** and thrive
Beneath Hell we shall dive

>**** harder as we thrive deeper in sin,  I feel you inside of me rushing through my veins, like electricity shocking through my nervous system... I try to hold on to the thought of you, but it rushes through me like a flash, I forget you, then it's done.

Vanity stole me
Vanity corrupted me
Vanity tranquilized me
Vanity disrupted me

These lines have me thinking wrong thoughts, thoughts that are of uncanny nature and vain thoughts of selfishness and unhealthy erotica.
Vanity took all the sanity away from the head, and left me alone, not even therapy can stabilize me, I rebuild my soul.
I'm out of my mind, and I'm yellin' out, vanity
...
Like a drug itself, these lines are like decaf and vanity is my addictive curse.
Addiction not to the drug, but to the feeling of such an intense self love, it eats you up inside, you take the substance to escape the sinful feeling.
Logic, and proportion, all dead.
Losing myself,
Get out of my head.
Get out of my thoughts.

"Thought I found a way, a way out, but you never go away...
So, I guess I gotta stay.
Isn't it lovely, all alone, heart made of glass, my mind of stone, tear me to pieces, skin and bone."
"Somethings on my mind, Need to get out my headspace..."

Tear me to pieces, rip me apart, kiss me slow, hold me down, and touch me low.
Feel the flow. Gradually pulling you towards me.
Holding you close. Take me out of my head space.
I don't know what feels true.
Let me crawl inside your veins.
Hide you away, lock you up in my treasure chest.
Keep you, you're mine.
Take my wall down, let's do the unthinkable, I think I'm ready...
I learnt to lose, can't afford to anymore.

Your pretensions have you doing wrong.
You misleading yourself into opinions and facts that are brainwashing your own thoughts and integrity.
It's interrogating your thoughts and your actions have you proving wrong.
Are you really who you say you are or are you faking the person you show?
It's mind ******* isn't it...
No one is whom they say they are, but who they say they are is just a clone of them trying to be different, not realizing that they they just like everyone else.
The proven truth is that, everyone is like everyone, not everyone is different, and not everyone can try to be.
Everyone that exists lives off other people, influences, brainwashes and media.
Everyone is trying to be someone else and something they are not.
We call ourselves different, imperfect, significant, and unique.
But the truth is that we are all the same and none of us are unique, we are insignificant is this vast universe.
Just admit that we are all regular people trying to be something we are not.
It's not wrong to admit such, it proves that you are just human and we are all on different journeys, the soul however, the same, the canvas is different, same tears, same form...
Arms, legs, fingers, sweat, scars, veins...
We bleed the same and all wear clothes.
It's fine to be like everyone else, it's okay.
We don't have to different, just, indifferent.
And that is the answer, stop admitting your rights, start admitting your wrongs too.

The flow of systematic beings disintegrate and **** with my own flow sometimes.
Can't seem to get a grip on my mind.
I'm losing myself in lost formalities.
The whole diagrammatic systems falls into closure and creates a case of it's own.
The system is wrong, it doesn't flow with the equilibrium structure of life itself.
It just falls off, and finds a balance of it's own.
It has no real forecast, nor balance, just destruction.
It's chaotic to humankind and it needs strategy of some kind.
It needs appreciation, moral technique, or justification.
The flow of the subconscious is losing itself again in the brainwashing systems, it's locked, it cannot get out, stuck.
This philosophy is somewhat confusing, but it's just a descriptive rant about the brainwashing formula of society itself.
We a part of it, living in the lie, suffocating, trying to find, trying to heal, trying to bind.
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people, the truth that, technology is not needed, love and purity is needed, humanity got so caught up in the wealth, they forgot the essence of true love.  
**** THE SYSTEM

>It burns in me the love that couldvé formed. The erotica that couldvé been extablished, the depth that could've been formulated. But you left, and all I'm left with is your unwanted scars and burdens that are not mine. The grass is wet and the sun is hot, but my soul is in pain and lingers for yours. **** me like you hate me, but, kiss me like you miss me.

<I started to love and the love that surrounds me can be as deep as a cannon that has been created but I'm not left with my left eye. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul is sick and sick for you · · · You miss me as much as you love me, zeitgeist / ts?t???st, z?t???st / name for Valerie's Dictionary. You hate me as I do condoms; However, as the story evolved through thoughts and thoughts, a specific period of time in the spirit of emotional zeitgeist in the mid-nineteenth century: Zeit 'time' + geist 'spirit' is in German. There is love within me that engenders inner love. But I apologize for my injuries. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my life will be tormented. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you." There is a love that can be formed in the depths. But give me some scars. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul stays in it. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you."

>I'm not telling you, But I'd love to whisper the words that conform to your being of thoughtless scrutiny. Whisper back in a silent forecast and let your words be heard by me. As the wet grass sinks in the sand, I see our love has sunken too. Nothing but the pain to hold onto. You love me, but is it enough? I love you, and it's enough. Your love is poison and it's intoxicating to my existence. Like a harsh summer breeze that is hard to foresee, can I still write my feelings without thinking I am delusional, ought to be. Love me hard but your toxicity stands in the way, as your feelings en-dour, my love stays true. A consistent loyalty that leaves a bruise. Before you know it, you left, as you said you would. Cut me out like a harsh knife that needs no razor blade, like a clean slice, you just left me in your scars. But with that pain, for some reason, even if I have let you go, I still love you.

<Cut my heart out with a knife or razor blade for a clean slice, just leave your mark.

>Leave your mark but don't leave a scar. Bury your sacred existence elsewhere and leave me to live and love on my own. It's suffocating, it buries my soul, without you, I am free to breathe on my own. The sun is hot, the grass is wet, without your love, I feel free, not dead, consumed by other things, like my mind itself.

>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.

What do you want from me?
Why arn't you scared of me?
Why don't you care for me?
Do you fear me because I'm alone?
Slip, cut yourself on the glass and swim in your drowning blood.
It's a dark place, it's vivid, the ghosts are deadly.
Cut your tongue, you can't talk, you won't be heard.
Voices are whispers, silent.
Wonder, stay fearful.
Come, enter my dark acidic wonderland and die with me.
Eat tongues as the whisper echoes in the dark.
Freeze, don't say anyhing, just watch me.
Watch me move.
(Scream)
Horrifying, I die in placid stillness and my yell for help cannot be heard.
It's mortifying, help me.
But I love playing these games, until my heart, bleeds.
Cut me, lick my blood, watch the rabbits head twist off as he loses his race against time.
Nothing is going to save you now.
You are dead.
I wanna end me.
**** me in the dark.
The ghosts come in my dreams and pull me, they want me.
The only energies that want me, not wanted by humans, not wanted by anyone.
Nobody likes me.
**** me in the dark.
...
End me

"Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing **** yet? Are you watching me because I move alone?"
Well, look a little harder, because as glass reflects on me I reflect back revealing the other side of me.
Two-sided.
She dances with ease.
Do you feel the pain because it's pain that I unleash.
I am the inner workings of your mutability.
I switch up as I am never at true peace.
Look at me, watch me...
Feed on me as I feed onto you.
The perplexities of my intentions are at it's core when I move.
Lost, but just a crazy ***** with the master ability to play with your mind baby.
Do you see it?
I do.
And she's nasty.
Taste her, lick her, **** her.
She's the dark side of me and she's waiting to play.
Tear me up like I'm your doll and grasp onto my insides like the strings have been attached so the grip cannot lose itself in your sins of your sinful embellishment.
Dress me up, move me.
You are my puppet and I only want to tease your mind.
**** me like a twist of your mad insanity.
Play with me.
Taste me, and watch me because, I move alone.

>The sky roars as the thunder explodes, the storm collides in my every memory of waking thought, I seem to clash as the change of season happens as abruptly as my change of emotion.

<I am plummeting to the bottom of the ocean
Drinking in the salty sip
Rising high as the commotion
Riding the low and the wavering dip.

>My focus seems obscured, scrutinized with every drip.
Drip drop...
Drip drop...
Lost. But still standing, the question is how.
Because every universal structure has me be-dowered.
The ocean holds many highs, ones that are forbidden.
Forbidden as the eyes can see.
But to me, I stare blindly, waiting to breathe.

<Unto the unknown
Unto the breach
Splitting at the seems
The why's
The where's
The how's
Are those my dreams?
Will warmth conceive?
O' come back to me

>Thoust lay beneath, I try to see,
I perceive with the eye of the cat, the mental stamina of a bird.
But lost in the eclipse, there's no looking back.
Pushing forward, I make my move.
Lips on focus, biting them as I inhale the atmospheric scent.

<Mystical indulgence
String of pearls diamond droplet around my neck
Gypsy traveler drifting between each breath
Spirit at the helm
Moon bound
Earth to the ground
Cat lives left
If I fall
Faith will stand again
Wingspan stretched out
Sun set

>Sun so far, it seems so near.
Sun so near, it seems so far.
Breathless, but still in sight, I reach over and feel the delight.
As darkness and pain is madness, so is light and healing.
Everything corresponds together and creates the balance.
But I write, "hello darkness my old friend''
The paper drifts away, as the sun rays hit my face
The string of pearls rest against your neck, as the master of puppets arrive, we soon begin our test.

<Our hearts write the line
Then,
silence.

Is my cause to live the cause for eternal death?
Is my cause for death my cause for eternal life?
As I have mentioned in my other writings, nothing ever dies.
The physical form diminishes into thin air and rots, and the soul, the spirit, the ghost, takes on a new form.
This bordem got me feelin' weak.
Hearing other peoples thoughts, conversations, am I being tested to immoral justice?
Am I being tested to focus on the subconscious, even though it hurts more than the conscious.
It hurts, to have a gift of such empathy and unconditional love.
I feel 100 knives stab me all at once.
It twists through the knots of my intestines
It rips my skin off and allows my blood to pour
It pulls my heart out and has me aching in misery
BETRAYAL
It's something I've experienced but still experiencing.
It HURTS.
So bad, my mind has me in sorrowful loneliness.
"Cannot trust anybody"
She says a million times, and that voice, that voice is right.
They smile to your face but whisper unwanted words to your back.
The wonder of who's real has me whimpering in weakness.
I have become weak and it is my thoughts to blame.
I fear them...
Nobody to trust but my unwanted pain.

I stared in front of me, at a peculiar object that had no formality.
It was a bland wall, had no opening, nor space, just blank.
It was oddly amusing, trying to foresee beyond it, trying to see what could be the meaning behind it.
The wall had no writing, or drawings, no patterns, or carvings.
Staring blindly, I couldn't see.
"Change your perception, use a different sense"
The voice said.
Pressing my hands against it, resting my forehead on it, and closing my eyes.

I felt it

I heard the banging, the screaming, the blood spattering, the squealing, the gasping, the echos, the sounds crying out for help.
I heard the knife slashing and gun shooting, I heard it all.
I suddenly felt something jolt through my body, like an electric shock.
I landed hard, back first on the ground.
Losing consciousness...

I saw it

I saw everything. EVERYTHING.

Waking up in a blanked out terror, I finally understood it.
It was me, in the form of my subconscious.
A metaphor of the desperate plead, cries, and help I call out to those that I love.
But, silent echos cannot whisper in the dark, and my voice cannot be heard.
SO, I suffer more, all by myself.

Yes, You can see the wall, but, if you choose not to listen to it, you won't see what's behind it, on the other side.
You choose to be misunderstanding.
You choose to be ignorant, and brain washed by lies.
But, if you actually took your own time and tried to feel the wall without any fear, maybe, just maybe, you would truly understand.

So, I stare at this bland wall, has no opening, no space.
But when I heard and saw what was on the other side, my perception changed.

In this coffin I lay, eyes shut and mouth open wide.
Strangled to death, but alive.
Barely making it, but taking the stride.

Why hide?
She walks with so much confidence
She's so beautiful
She's so inspirational
WOW, I wish I had that much confidence'
You not like other woman
How is she so fearless?

My past is dark, my body is bruised, my skin is scarred, and my blood still leaks.
Taking me years to get to this stage of self love, I've been through battles, days where I thought I was about to die.
Days where I thought nothing could help, punched in the face and defeated to ash, sleepless nights and robbed of all dignity, and days where I only slept and drained myself.
My battle wounds are still visible, I live for the fight and I will die fighting, never back down.
A black panther walks with grace, handles with strategy, and fights with integrity, still holding it's head **** high, a beautiful creature, they say.
Tougher than a lion, effortlessly, without even trying.
The animal kingdom has a new King, and it's me, the alpha female.
I ain't like other woman, I embrace and devour courage, strength, bravery, fearlessness, independence...
Staring death in it's ****** face and ripping that **** mask off and whispering, "who's the coward now, beautiful"
laughing sarcastically, DEATH does not exist, nothing ever really dies, a soul lives for eternity until the journey is accomplished, a champion never gives up, determination and pride, a self encouraged vanity.

So, in this coffin I lay, eyes shut, mouth wide open, strangled to death.
But somehow, through all the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental pain...
(Laughs in sadistic mystery)
I am still alive.

I walk along the tight rope in shame.
Whispering to myself "hold your **** together''
Halfway through, almost reaching the end, the pain surges, electrocuting through my whole body, static.
I fall
Not knowing how I'm going to land.
She jumps out from inside of me as I hit the sandy ground.
Head jolts, slow motion review.
Hurting, the pain I deserve, for knowing, knowing too much. the power consumes.
It rushes like a harsh wind, like a storm that cannot be unveiled.
Yielding inside of me, she bursts, and explodes like a thunder exhibition.
Laying next to me, only I can see her.
Her dark eyes staring into mine, I try to look past the horror.
"Don't leave me" a careless whisper.
She vanishes into thin air, I lose myself in despair.
I stare up at the high ceiling, waiting for the other ones to give me life and healing.
One unleashes, but one of fury and anger, Sukubus, the fighter.
She gets up in an aggressive explosive motion and attacks everyone around her viciously.
Here I am again, switching.
Switching, needing those people inside of me to keep me alive.
Like a spirit, without them I am dead.
Creation of the mind fighting against reality trying to show, but hiding in promiscuity.
I'm a good liar, choosing to be honest.
The will I have has weakened to the inner pits of my core, and without these personas, I am nothing but a rotting corpse.
So, I ask for those around me to stop judging me please.
I am only trying, trying for so long, that doing has me acting out too **** impulsively.
Forgive me, I was born to sin, but to love so passionately, a loyal mind of pure integrity.
I wish not to be so alone in melancholy, but defeated, so I stand alone, trying to survive the unknown.
I open my eyes, looking around me, seeing everyone dead, blood scattered and bodies twisted.
I get up, and start again, unleashing another personality.

It's mortifying...
The dilemma, the time lapse, the wait, the clock.
The abstract that I so blatantly describe in my other writings.
Time cannot be paused, stopped...
The abstraction is so formulated into one diverse piece, the creation of such is appealing, yet reformative.
Inconsequential, to the matter of science, myth, philosophy, conduct, and everything that exists beyond our mind.
I hold onto this creation, because the conclusion of the matter holds many intellectual debates that cannot be won or answered.
It is forbidden, it's lost.
The question of right and wrong holds many definitions that are inexplicable to the concept of reality itself, when the utter illusion holds the introspection that philosophers like myself, cannot give a precise answer to.
Time will let us be.

It's a quiet storm, and I've never felt like this before.
Sometimes I think, you're just too good for me.

Emotions are illusive like the monsters one can see. Monsters cannot be seen, so they live inside your head.
Are the monsters really destroying you? Or is it your thoughts whilst alone, lying in bed...
The illusion of life itself can lead to many emotions of ones mind...
Blinds us.
So we feed on the illusion of negativity.
Things happen that make us see the darkness.
Destructive, like a dead body and a ****** mess.
Corruptive...
Yet still I test.

I look around,
I see a sea of faces...
So many faces pretending
To be content with the life they have.
They walk around acting as if marriage and kids is the only source of fulfillment.
I feel a deep wealth of sadness
As the ones without those things
Still continue to progress forward,
While I sit washed away feeling useless.

Useless like a bird without wings...
Numbness is a glimpse.
As the emotions pour into you...
Your soul feels inburdened with dread.
Sins...

Sin isn't something that I believe in,
I believe in enjoying life to the fullest...
Yet I'm always with both knees to the ground.
Wondering if I'll ever be worthy of success,
I mean I'm just an outcast to most eyes that inhabit this planet.
There's not much meaning to my life.

An outcast with a craving for happiness.
So I take the devils side in hopes for success.
Failure is an illusive matter that my dark mind cannot cope with...
I judge myself in misery.
My dark philosophical thoughts rise inside of me...
Blind eyes see the lies...
And when in doubt, I see it too.
My third eye shut down...
My spirituality is all but gone...
I crave the high...
I need the drug in my veins to fight through the **** pain.

But even happiness is forbidden fruit,
An illusion best served as a party favor.

My thoughts are dazed…
Claustrophobic and hazed.
I’m exhausted and unamazed,
Fatigueness of some kind, low from the natural high.
Thoughts in my mind are delusive and unkind.
Dizzy and feeling quite fizzy
Not in the mood for studying, excitement, and fun.
Sitting by my lonesome self just writing what I can process.
Head feels heavy, got me feeling a bit queasy
Uneasy
Zoned out and lost in my thoughts
Sun is out and the wind is harsh…
It’s skin prickling and dissatisfying.
My exhaustion is sickening.
Absolute death and no reason
No fret
But anguished in my enclosed mind
But no threat…

System overkill
Discredit and disregard
Explain but disagree and make it hard
Exhalation and permutation
Loss of existence and clouded perception

Obsessive minds and sniffed up lines
Excessive amounts and numbers you cannot even count.
Broken, ripped, torn, and outwardly worn.
A lost ghoul, selfish, and for more you mourn.
Poor and dead, not yourself, completely blacked out and unconscious in bed.

Overdosed on the ******’ pills, suicide attempts never work…
Let the meds pour…
Gone, so gone…
Just let the meds pour...

Ashes and dense walls
Curled up spines and locked doors
Morbid carvings and ****** floors
Dark nights and gory flaws

Hidden from reality and tortured to death,
Starving…
You eat other bodies and drink the blood of their last breath
You have become a monster, Satan’s child.
Insanity takes over, and not so mild.

Kicking and screaming
Punching and hitting
Scratching and cutting
Pain infliction and dreaded decompassion

Given up, trapped in a dungeon of despair.
It is disgusting and foul
Hollow and cold, it’s inside of you…
It’s your empty shallow soul.

The haunting creeps up on you...
Eats you inside and devours every piece of your sanity.
The eyes stare in a long craving...
Holding you down till the depths of your despair.
Begs you to open up your mouth, till close, you cannot because of ripped open jaws.
The evil lingers onto you like a curse...
Claws...
they scar you and create a burden of dread.
The itch...
Painful and gory.
Your soul...
Empty and cold.
Ancient and old...
Dead in misery...
The deep dark hole,
Minds amputated in brainwashed delusions...
The craft of witchery,
A long lost mystery...

Operating from another world
Cascaded into psychedelic dreams
Lost in a floating cloud
Robotic
A creature in disguise
I am not human
I am not human
I am a soul
But I am not human
He pulled me in with despair
I feel him
I follow my own path
I am my own being
An outcast
A demon

I want to be that other girl

As the full moon uncovers, I rise from my slumber.
The dark sky portrays...
I have awaken within
The dead has risen.
The witches hour hits it's peak.
Goths come alive and demons stalk the empty streets.
Ghosts wonder the dark valleys and haunt the ones that cannot see.
Possess
The dark has no rest.
Hell opens up, the fire begins to leak.
Cracked open roads and monsterous screams...
The souls that cannot speak, search for bodies, as its life that they seek.
Haunting you, pulling you, holding you down
The dead come alive...
Celebrate the tribe
Friday the 13th, a traditional day for the dark, dead and lonely.
Haunt the alive in their misery, and take the souls as they escape.
Creep...
Dark nights and twisted minds
Who knows what the dead will find

My soul is screaming
My wounds stay open
The scars have not healed
I am dead inside

My soul cries for the grave
Show you the rage I am feeling
Empty, lost, can't find myself, lost in my lie

Without the mask, where will I ******' hide?
Blurring and stirring, the truth and the lies...
Winged, but cannot fly

Dark, morbid, incomplete and burdened

The screams of my soul are forever echoing...
Bury my lost soul in a grave of emptiness
Lonely
My dead soul
Wounds ache in dark sympathy

A tense tight aching sensation comes about.
My head throbs of pain as the trip kicks in.
I feel like I'm about to be knocked down as my skull cracks open...
I bleed in vain
Shaking, my body has the shakes
This high doesn't feel normal...
As the drugs kick in, my body weakens.
Mind running everywhere, my thoughts are discreet.
Tripped out and faded, lost in another land.
This land is sinful, dark, morbid, wonderful, and unknown to the eye.
Black...
Gone. ****** in the tunnel of darkness.
I have landed in the pool of flames.
The trip gets real when the psychedelics speak the truth
The drug of choice...
As the bird finally frees itself

The drug
The high
The confusion
The craving
The withdrawal

The brain feels overwhelmed
The noise creates chaos in my mind
The silence I seek
The alone time I need

The anxiety kicks in
Struggling to breathe...
Overthinking creates an addiction, to the things that cause mind suppression.

My mind is noisy, with thoughts of occurrences that have happened, and some not.
I try not to depress myself, but mistakenly think too far in the future, then get disappointed because expectations have not been reached.
Busy, distracted, chaotic, and unfocused.

I reach no end to where my mind goes...
A path of little thoughts that creates an explosion and downfall.

I crave the drugs to give my mind a rest.
To give it a sense of peacefulness...
I have failed lifes tests.

Tense, tight, my mind implodes.
Burn my thoughts and bury them in ashed coal.

Cannot sleep
Cannot close my eyes
Always in a state of overthinking...
Like my brain is constantly blinking

Black dreams as my soul begins to leak
Dark thoughts as I reach a sudden peak

Creek, bury the sacrament.
The woods hold many secrets.
Truths that burden us with psychological pain...

Gain.

The demons have rained

Curses our soul and steals it away from us.
Soulless is my empty feeling...
Dead.
I need thoust no healing.

In the darkness I seek the light

Height.
I look down as my stomach begins to turn.
Twisting knots of intestines and guts begin to pour.

A hole has formed.

Staring...
Down to the pits of hell.
****** hands and discreet bodies as crying screams echo below.
My ears ache.

A mind so real
The depth is at stake

"I'm always getting high cuz' my confidence low...
And I'm always in a rush, ain't no time to **** slow
It's not something I don't know...
But I'm sure I'll make you *** do it three times in a row...
And I'm sure you would've left but that ***** in control...
That ***** in control..."

"I like the thrill...
Nothings ever made me feel so real
So don't leave me here alone,
I don't wanna spend tonight alone..."

I will ******* right, til' you tired to leave me
I will do you right...
Until your subconscious got you screamin' my name
Crave me...
Sensuality got you fallin'
I am your void.

Let the madness be the only thing you embrace as your soul craves me like a drug.
There is beauty behind the madness.
Look
Can you see?
Devour your senses I shall...

So tell me you love me,
Just for tonight
For one night only

I understand the dead
I understand the living
I understand the unborn
I understand the other world

I myself is strange and unusual.
I fear life, but not death.
Instead, I embrace death, because living is pure hell.
I scream inside every single day.
My face shows a smile, expressionless, opposite of my soul.
I describe what I feel with words, because I cannot speak, I cannot verbally express how I truly feel.

Demons, are not to be feared.
They do what they do because of emptiness and loneliness.
I wish I were a demon...
The feeling of wanting to possess merely comes about.
I am a soul that feels empty and incomplete.
I am insecure
Demons do what they do because it is the only way they know.
I feel bad for them, as I know how they feel, even if feel, they do not.

We are ghosts living in a skeleton and muscle cell...
So what is there to be afraid of?
Fear the unseen and unknown I do not.
Just because we are seen, why not fear?
Fear the living more than you should fear the non-living.
Humans are destructive and corruptive.
The dead are lonely and indecisive.
Humans destroy, which create envy and hate.
The dead do what they do...
out of insanity and revenge.

My perspective on the beings in the other dimension creates an opinion I want all to see...
Why fear the dead?
When life itself is more scary and strange...

Death is life
Life is death
But nothing ever really dies...
As life continues its tests

I do not fear death...
I fear life instead
I fear living because I may not be a major success.
Yet, I still strive to do my best

I take life like a river that flows...
Slow and steady, not harsh and weary

Life is a game and death is its trophey...
As reincarnation occurs to give you second chances, to complete your souls journey.

Life is never ending, as your corpse rots...
Your soul is ever burning.
We are a spirit in a humans body...
We are ghosts in a seen form.

We are death as we **** mankind.
We are death as we destroy nature.
We are death in our own norm.

I lie and await while you lift off your shirt for me...
I bite my lip and smile, while bending in my leg.

My hair, in a state of disaster,
Messy and tangly, dark rose wine lip stain...
Your ****** monster.

You climb onto the bed with a charm set on your face...
Your expression tells me a ton...
Making my mind ***...

You tackle me with your touch as you feel up my legs....
My thigh tingles as you place your fingers inbetween them...

I lick my lips whilst moaning in a sensual pleasure....this feeling of erotica is something like long lost treasure.
Breathe onto my neck....
Feel my heart beat as you turn up the heat.
Baby, make me leak....

I've craved you, an intense arousing feeling comes about...
Love is making us... like ******* is nothing but a poor lust.

Squeeze my *** while I moan....
You pull out your stick ...
Oooh baby it's so thick.
**** me like you need me...
Kiss me ******' passionately.
Soulful lust...
Like the earths crust.

Crush me...
Devour me.
Taste me...
Lick me...
Baby just *** me.

I claw the bed sheets while you go deeper in me.
Head tilts back while you grab my throat in hack.
Your back inbedded with ****** scars as I claw and scratch you....
I love it how you do me...
More...
I love you like you have no ******' clue...
Adore.

****** tensions build as you kiss me down my hips...
I love the feeling of your soft luscious lips...
Kiss me...
I am everything you liss.

"Lips so french, *** so spanish"
The words escape from your mouth.
"**** me right til' I'm too tired to leave you"
I reply in truth.

Passionate love so good you got me in a sensual mood.
Sweat drippin' down our bodies...
I love the sensual lust...

Maybe it's your lips
Maybe it's your eyes
Maybe it's your touch
Maybe it's your little lies

Captivate me in your lustful charm, kiss me down as you mean no harm.
Alarmed, I am the ****** goddess, I'll ride you til' you feel inburdened of your sins, til' you come back for more, til' it's me that you lustfully want to lure.
Your lustful cure... Incurable but desirable, mystical and sensual... My touch will evaporate your being of existence as you will only crave me more... I am your lust drug....
Addictive, Withdrawl.

Satisfy you with my every sensual intention, grasp my breath and give me my deserved attention.

I am a queen, royalty, in vain.
I won't apologise as I quite enjoy it messy...
Spank me hard and **** me...
Our birthday suit...
**** me til' I'm too tired to leave you.
Numb all emotions and get onto my level, it's all about the ***, the drugs, and the life we are livin'...
Faded, gone, no attachments...
Just pure lustful passive aggression.

This addiction is eating me alive.
I try to deny it but it consumes my every nerve.
I want it, I need it, I can live without it but sometimes I need it.
I just crave it so badly sometimes.
I try to deny myself of such...
I can live without it and tell myself I don't need it, but other times I just go mad....
Insane, deranged, Why is this craving lingering onto me like an evil curse...
I feel it inside of me...
Manifesting in me, attaching itself to me...
Addiction is a drug itself.

My thoughts are self explanatory.
Endless mind creations stay undiluted.
Muted; I express in poetry and art
Misunderstood; So I stay to myself

                   **Executed

Make me shake...
Loose yourself between my words...
make my thighs quake.

Caress me as you kiss me ever so divinely,
hold me and never let go...
Can you feel my flow?

Devour me and consume my inner thoughts,
wrap me up and allow your mind to get caught.

Euphoria sends chills throughout your body...
your nerves, your veins, and your soul,
day'm ***** you know...

Let me magnate you and passionately bite your neck,
I will inspire you to learn to love if you feel too empty inside,
Let me be the drug in your empty cold veins and let me teach you to fight through the harsh mind-created pain...
Feel my skin create sensations of erotica whilst touching yours...
Feel my pleasurable sins...as I give you a little peck.

Love me, even though you don't love me, just for tonight, I will make you feel ever so majestically light.
You are my dream, and healing your empty soul is my scheme.

Love me hard baby...cuz sexuality is insane when there hate to impatiently drain...

Hidden inside, are the secrets within,
the bland wall has no opening,
The key has disintegrated into tiny pieces, not even, the deadly acid.
The key has sunk inside and has become a part of the acidic death.
Now the lock is unlockable, where the secrets are trapped within.

Writhe not, because the depth consumes it,
deep like an ocean, like the dark world thoust lay beneath  is scarce and feared, hated and discreet, and not warmly deared.

As black as hell, the coral beneath is as red as the dark rose wine, looks insidious, hidden and dwell.
The demons lay beneath and do not seek,
thou seek when the winters are dry, the bare **** trees, and a dead body... in a bed of cries.

Skeleton build with muscle, cells, tissue, organs and fat...
is the book cover that had no key, the body that died in tragedy.
The woman that had no he nor she, lonesome and scared, supressed and helplessly dared.

Dared to die alone, rot and starve, no one gave a ****,
because she was invisible to all and there was no one to whom she could confide.

Her ghost kept all kinds of secrets, even the ones all curable and not in weakness.
She went insane, her mind thoust blood it had rained.
Satanic and the devils child she became,
once was heavens angel, sweet and innocent, and was always at bay.

Parents murdered, home burnt down...
she cried a waterfall, for endless days in her mothers gown.

Lived alone, and never whispered a word...

I creep upon the shadows that do nothing but follow.
I lift above the ground like the angels, I have found.

A failure to results but a successor in the making, I'm battling through the crowd but somehow I'm still smiling and faking.

Hope, I still carry
Faith, I am not in a hurry
Courage, I am still building
Wisdom, I am still learning

To all that life has to offer, I am just accepting...

Pain; self doubt
Drain; a sad pout
Broken; Fixing myself up
Unspoken; I am learning to let it all out

Selfish and sinful, stubborn and hard to fulfil,
but through the cracks within me, I am trying to focus where I want to be.

Dark and depressive, lost and suppressive, misunderstood and aggressive...

HELP... I call out
Fix me... I shout
Make me fly... I just want to let it out

But unfortunately I fear...
I fear what people may say
I fear things will not go my way
I fear the darkest day
I fear my emotions won't go away.

I have not treated my ghost well
I have kept my  deep secrets hidden
and this left me feeling dark and dull.

I chose Satan because he gave me power, then I saw the light, now it is my god that I pray to every hour.

Invincibility and visibility is what I craved
The feeling made me well behaved
But deep within me I am not well
Sick; strange, and hiding like a shell.

But I need to break the shell...

In a locked up abandoned room, stands dead people,
all worn and torn, all helpless and scarcely unknown.
They weep trickles of tears from their eyes, soaking down to their cheeks,
innocent faces and scarred bodies,
invisible to the world and their minds dreadfully drilled, with thoughts of insanity, as they rot inhumanely.

Open wounds and jars of acid, the key lays in one of them, torturous and hardly discredited
It's deadly, and extremely rapid.

Trapped and held back, suppressed and feelings of soul lack,
where the crows die at 3:00am, it's satanic, dark, dull and dim.

Hands burn and screams cry, the jar is black, so they hadn't know in which the key lie.

The secrets within, dark, deadly and too hard to ****** swim.

Weak and demolished, some people collapse in pain and satanic craze, the haze, the daze, thoust peculiar trickles of red rain drops from the ceiling above, rose wine red, depth is dark and foul like jin

It's ****** up...

Our ghosts keep all kinds of secrets, with their hands behind their back and face hidden and covered in black, suppression creates a place of torturous days and weeping eyes of display...
Isolation makes it worse, it creates a lonesome curse...

Treat your ghost well, then the dark won't take over, and make it dreaded and unwell...
Tell...
*All your secrets within

Twisting and turning, clenching and frowning, time ticking, head tenses and exhaustion still remains, as insomnia is the monster that causes such energetic drains.
My mind continues thinking, senseless and strange actions and motives,
I sit up and sigh, as I cannot sleep... and during the day, my exhaustion piles up in heaps.
Grab a snack in the kitchen and watch the television, this all won't help as early rising has to occur for the busy day ahead, but I still sit here in thought progression.
The last 3 days the monster attacked, ******* out my sleep and keeping me awake and sleep lacked.
I stare at the computer screen whilst typing out black letters that rhyme, boredom strikes as I look down on the screen and see the time.
01:22 The next day has begun and all I hear are dogs barking and howling, I am irritated and annoyed, as I also hear them growling.
All I want to do is sleep and dream, but the monster is insane and steals all the sleep chemicals the brain produced, and now it has gained.
Insomnia is the worst, I don't know what to do, insomnia is my curse.

Music is my soul
Fate is my life
Love is my strength
But i fear like a knife

Knowledge in my mind
Prosperity I strive
Inner peace I feel
But still cold as ice

Mean as I am
Superficial I might be
Heartless I may seem
But all my friends still love me

Life is a game
A battle it may seem
Play the cards right
Then you shall see

Born an angel
But die a devil I shall
Live life, learn
Make your own mistakes
Just hope it all ends well

Insanity at its best
But sometimes at its worst
Listen to you instincts
Give your mind a rest

Life is a test
You better study hard
Pass or fail
Just choose the right card

Only thing that really matters in the end
Is your happiness
The worst strengthens your inner core

Rejoice the good times
And don't listen to what em' haters gotta say!

Peace, Love, life, death....Passed the first 3....the last won't be a tragedy.