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553 · Jan 2019
Suicidal
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Depression
                           -----------
                          Lonliness
                 ­          -------------
                          Suffering
               ­              ---------
                       Pain.        Love
                Hurt.                    Scream­s
         Hated.                                  Needy
    Abused.                                             Sad
  Mocked.                                           Ugly
  Ashamed.                                   Religion
      Scared.                                     Scarred
         Poor.                                          Lost
           Weak.                                  Sick
               Fragile _    hurt _   broken
Hi
542 · Dec 2018
7Am rain
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Early morning dew
Misty foggy air
Fills my lungs

Chilly unconvered hands
Dripping wet windows
Eases my clogged mind

Puddles in the road
Silent lights dimmed near by
Creates calm in my face

Nostalgia pierced through
Children playing at recess
Easing my eyes back to sleep
It rained and it was all misty at 7am and like it gave me nostalgia and the smell after it rained just i love it
541 · Jan 2019
Gardens of life
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Some flowers grow
Yellow Some White
Every flower is different
But most all need the light

Weeds are picked
Said to be bad
They were just trying
With what they had

Some flowers grow
Tall
Taller then any others
They may be afraid to fall

Some plants produce
Fruit and vegetable
That being their purpose
Others may think that questionable

Many plants are damaged
Petals falling off and dying
These types dont sell often
But hell are they trying

Seeds may fly
Taking roots anywhere
Afraid of where they'll go
Others stay claiming its unfair

There are so many
Different plants and flowers
Trying to categorize them all
Is kind of a disaster
Hi been just seeing that everyone is damaged and everyone is so different they show theie damage in different ways. We are all human but all grow into ourselves differently.
539 · Jan 2019
Alone
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
I'm in denial
That anyone loves me
It's not paranoia

I know the truth
It echoes in my head
As tears fall onto my bed

Nobody cares
I'm just a tool to use
For them to get ahead

Noones ever loved me
Noones ever gone beyond for me
I can't fight my insecurites

Because they're right
I am unloved
A cursed child

a mistake at birth
A burden growing up
Last resort as an adult

I'm never a first choice
Barely Last choice
So I'll lower my voice

Let myself be used
It's what tools are for
Not like I'll ever be beautiful

Why did you like me
Why did you sleep with me
Just desperate for any company

Found someone new
No surprise
Already used to the lies

No boy will love me
Nor any friend
But they'll sure pretend

Can't blame them
I don't even love me
filled with self pity

Years on repeat
Everyone leaves me
Always shamelessly

Not one soul
Would walk one extra step
To help me as I wept

Nor does anyone
Find me worth
Anything but a empty purse

I am unloved
Yet i exist
Why did god make me

So ******* helpless
This is a ****** mess of words but yeah hey atleast i know why ive been crying all day. All my thoughts and everything thats been happening has been echoing in my head that im alone. Im never a first choice and I'm only around for people who are desperate. They all leave me for someone better. Always. I guess my mom loves me at least.
If she didn't id have killee myself already lol
529 · Aug 2019
Best friend
Hello Daisies Aug 2019
Hey darling,
Not sure if I ever told you
You know I'm afriad of being bold
But you should definitely know

I've never trusted anyone fully
Never let myself go completely
I don't beleive in any of the mushy gooey

But you, I guess you got me
I'm afraid to let it take control
When I do it's never wrong
You're where I belong

From swinging at night
To playing tic tac toe
Dressing you in clothes
Telling secrets no one else knows

You're my best friend
Always have been from the beginning
It's not that I don't love others
You're just so special to me
Closer then my sister and brothers

❤️
529 · Feb 2024
Deafening
Hello Daisies Feb 2024
It was deafening
Threatening my very
Being
My very
Me
They made me bleed
Nothing
No hue
No you
No blue
Or red
Or pink
Or love
Anything

They said to take it
It'll help
They said to make it
Or they'll tell
I didn't try
And they don't know why
So take it
Take it
Take it..

Let it rip your ears out
Rip the drums away
Tear the plums away
No shade
Only grey
All day
Every way

Who can live this way?
No sad
No glad
Only racing
Only bad
Only something
So they're not
Mad

I was nothing
Merely a vessel
Of blood and beating
Beating to nothing
Just physical pain
No gain
No lanes
No driving
No freedom
No air in my hair
No air in my lungs

Just guns
To my soul
Guns
In my pool
Guns
Instead of drums
BANG BANG
in my head
BANG BANG
I felt dead

They tried
To take me away
They lied
And said it's okay
They smiled
As I told them it's pain

They ******* tried
They lied
And they denied
Me help
They kept me
Melting away
They kept me
Locked in a cage
They kept me
Without any ears
I couldn't hear
I couldn't
...hear

I couldn't bare
Not to hear
The drums
The reds
The hues
The lows
And the beats
The tunes
And melodies
The breeze
The bliss
I couldn't ******* stand this
I missed
So much
Beauty
Feeling it dancing in my skin
Again
I know
I'll never let them win
Never
Ever
Ever
I'll never swallow another
Gun
I'll never allow
Another
Run
Of this
Emptiness

I'm forever in love
With the multicolored noises
That keep me breathing
That keep me dancing
That keep me
Alive
Inside

The emotional drums
That fills my lungs 🫁
Just experienced anti depressants again that made me worse lol
497 · Aug 2024
Selfish souls
Hello Daisies Aug 2024
You know
People are selfish
And they continue to hurt me
And you could say why not talk to them?
Explain or try?
There's never a point
In trying

They'll start denying
They'll start crying
To your face
While lying
Never making
A real effort
Never bothering
they can't afford
To change

Selfish in exchange
For my hurt feelings
Every single person.
I was born too kind
That's my issue
And it's not
Some kind of self pity
Tissue

It's true
I am not perfect
By no means
I've hurt others
Who didn't deserve it
I've made amends
I made effort
showed changed behavior
showed I savor
Making them
Feel better

Nobody
Does the same
Every one is to blame
Small or big
They hurt me
With a grin
They are selfish
Careless
And
Inconsiderate
I'm so tired
I might consider it

Being alone
Letting my anger show
Telling them all where
To ******* go
Letting go
For once
Not being nice
Being selfish
Like every other
*******
Guy

How can you all lie?
How can you all say you try?
And deny
With such a look
In your eye
You don't mean it
You cut me
I'm still bleeding

You are all wielding
The knife
This cold little life
You all play
Like it's a game
You're never to blame

Look inward
You selfish little flames
Burning out soon
Like a lying
Cheating groom
Figuring out
Your next
Move

Look inward
And see
Being selfish
acting carelessly
Gets you nowhere
Well maybe in this life
It'll get you somewhere
Desire is like fire you know
It burns out
Ashes are cold
And alone

So wherever you think you'll go
Remember you reap what you sow
You all told me I'm hard to hold
No,
I think it's you
You're all
Going to be
Lost in the cold

Never looking twice
At your own
Souls
I'm tired
493 · Nov 2024
Closure at last
Hello Daisies Nov 2024
We flew too close to the sun
We became codependent
I became a defendant
It was ending
It was going
It was breaking
I was dying

Every breathe
Every memory
Sharp edges
Dead battery
We were beauty
And grace
We were love
Smacking you in the face

It was epic
It was glorious
It was tradgic
Never victorious

It was time to go
Time to move on
It hurt us both so
But it's good to let it be
Open up and see
After two years
Of endless tragedy

We can grow
We can learn
We have to love ourselves
To love others in return
I love you and I miss you
But it's not meant to be

It's not a tragedy
It's okay now I can see
You were epic with me
But it had to end
We were so close to that sun
If we stayed
We'd both be gone
All those poems I posted about one person and how much it ******* hurt. I'm feeling ok today. We talked we shared. I got to say how I felt and she listened and it was nice. We love each other still and I can look back and not hurt so much now. Where do we go from here? Idk but it's nice right now
491 · Aug 2022
What happened
Hello Daisies Aug 2022
Closer then sisters
Better then lovers
Never a second thought
Together forever

What happened to forever
What happened

Memories come
Memories go
I'm stuck in the snow
Of all our love
The stars above
Remind me of you

Stuck like glue
You and me
Us three
Nobody could touch
Never too much

What happened to us
What happend to love
What happened to the stars above
What happened
What happened??

Every year we'd go away
Crazy wild and silly vacay
It was the best moments of my life
Laughter, fun, excitement  living high

Never wondering why
We were so lucky
Treasuring each and every smile
Thinking we'd be together for awhile
For forever
Never not together

Seasons change and the weather
We were birds of a feather
Flocking together
Living with each other
Secrets told laughter spoke
Our love never a Joke

What happened to us
What happened to love
What happened to the stars above
What the **** happened to us
To forever
To looking at the stars
To crying in eachothers arms
To figuring out life together
Never hurting eachother
Closer then I could say
Giving me life in every way

How can I go on
It's been 8 months since you've gone
And I can't move on
I see you every day
You don't give a **** I'm in your way
It hurts to pretend
Like I don't know you
Like I never knew
What thoughts kept you up at night
How to make you laugh at the right
Moment
All those moments
Dust in the wind
Blew it away
I tried to catch it
But you looked the other way

What the **** happened
486 · Sep 2024
Wonderstruck
Hello Daisies Sep 2024
The little girl within me
The five year old that's crying
The ten year old that's star gazing
The fourteen year old trying to run away
They never let me go
Not for one day
My soul always knows
But my heart has gotten cold

I've felt the entire galaxy of emotions
I was too young
I  had to be so strong
It was never fair
To let me wear
Every single
Piece of despair

I ran away
So to say
Lived my life
In every way
That would cause you
Shame
I became
The person to blame
I never wanted to tame
My name

The world broke me
Again
They hurt me
More than a friend
I became
Lost again
Broken and at
an end
Never to open

That little girl hiding
Me running
Never confiding
With her
I concur
She became such a blur

Empty with hints
stars and light
Soulless with a touch
love and fight
Searching for the spirit
That gave me flight

I fell so hard
Never wanting to feel
The pain that hurt her
The shame that killed her
The blame
The names
The broken and bruised
Lonely cursed
Hues

Without her
I was again
A blur
Everyday
Waking up afraid.
I didn't know
She still runs the show
She'll never let go
She's fighting
residing within
never dying
That girl who was always
Whining
Is still shining 🌟

The stars are blinding
Only to others
To me it's like love
Filled with the deepest of wonders
Wonderstruck
Wonderful
I feel her soul
In the simplest of times
She's fighting for her crimes

Never letting her dreams die
letting her hopes come true
And every time they do
I feel her heal
I feel her warmth
I feel the brightest smile
For galaxies and miles
Looking down on me
I twirl around the entire galaxy
Never a frown to be found
When her biggest dreams finally touch the ground
The last few years I felt really empty again but I found a spark of joy I didn't know I could feel so strong a few times and it's enough to keep fighting
486 · Dec 2018
Rapunzel
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Castles and queens
Red carpet and round tables
Warm wind through a poofed dress

Oh what a mess
No matter how hard they stress
That olden times were not like the movies its meaningless

For the

Dances like Cinderella
Simpler times in a castle tower
Dragons and romance with a prince

You'll never be able to convince
that this isnt what i want ever since
I was but a young sad girl ive dreamt of my Prince

King arthur and merlin
Excalibur and the lady of the lake
Green beauty and small hobbit holes

Oh sad girl you are in woe
For happiness you'll never know
You'll always be a locked away rapunzel
Something about that dark bittersweet beauty that i love. The stories of Merlin or if castles and queens with a sad twist but with joy and deep beauty and dancing
It makes my heart feel an emotion i csnt describe an emotion I'll never truly have in my life.
480 · Sep 2018
Because
Hello Daisies Sep 2018
I feel it boiling inside
I laugh it off and try to hide
It sturs within my body
The rage of being treated like a nobody

Because I cry
Because I can't lie
Because I love
Because I honor things up above

They think I'm not good enough
To handle things because they're too tough
For someone so fragile and small
Yet from my eyes my emotions help me stand tall

Everyone has these flaws
But they hide them they build walls
I don't hide them I show everyone my all
They look down on me making me feel small

Because I'm emotional
Because I'm scared
Because I'm fragile
Because I'm brave

I know there's nothing wrong with me
No matter who looks down I'll look up and smile widely
Because being this way is never wrong
No being this way is what has made me strong
This is not great but I'm feeling a mess of bad emotioms and mainly anger right now. People keep looking down on me and ignoring me. They have my entire life. Because im too emotional so i csnt handle things. No. I cant handle so many things you'll never understand. You have no idea. But if that's how you want to perceive me then thays how it is I'll move on to people who will appreciate me. Might be few and far between but I'm used to it.
464 · Jun 2021
Ocean
Hello Daisies Jun 2021
It feels like forever
Since I heard this call
Forever
Since I wanted to fall
It's been so long
I almost forgot it all

Months went by
Not a tear went down
Days and days
And I forgot the sound
Where was I

Bottled up it seems
I forgot all my dreams
I thought it was better
To forget the weather
The storms I know so well

I wasn't myself
I couldn't even tell
I forgot how to scream
I forgot my breaking seems

Now it's called back
The oceans wave
Don't fall into the grave
Over flooding tidal waves
Hit me suddenly but slowly

I remember who I am
The voices called me again
I'm a ship at wreck
A pirate drowing
A voyager lost at sea
This is me

I'm a emotional wreck
I was *******
Lost my name
But the ocean called me
And surely I came
Just writing my emotions lol
455 · Mar 2019
Fool
Hello Daisies Mar 2019
Haha i lied
I tried to hide
I am just so tired
Of crying

I kept the facade up
Really believed myself
When i said
I wasnt bothered

yet i stood there
My heart breaking
At each word she said
About laying in that bed

With you
Seeing you
Ignoring me
And wanting her

Talking to her
Like you did me
It wasmt just jealousy
But pure hurt

Now I cry
And i ask why
******* why
Everyone makes me die

A little more each time
My heart really hurts
How cruel to me
You didnt have to be

I was happy with what we had
You pushed me away like trash
And she took my feelings
And ripped them apart

Ruthelssly she came at me
Eyes wide open shamelessly
Telling me her exploits
As she stomped on my heart

In front of everyone
I smiled as she pounded
Twisted and churned
With a burning sledge

Maybe a bulldozer
It hurt more then anything
Yet i smiled becuase
What can i do
Jokingly tell you off

Is about all i can manage
Becuase it doesn't matter
To anyone but me
Lets face it
I'm nothing

Replaceable to all
Everyone waits for my fall
They see me crawl
And hit so many walls

They all laugh
Hurting me is ok
Beating my face in
In the middle of the day

It's cruel and unsual
But for me it's normal
Everyone watches
Noo ne cares

I'm in pain
I expected this
I did think of course

That when you moved on
You'd be a bit kinder
Then taking full force
And ripping me in half

Its okay
I'm sure you're a great guy
It's just me
My eyes

They speak to people
They tell everyone
To hurt me
In the sickest ways

I must have a price to pay
With god
I don't get normal
I get eternal damnation
And I'm still alive

When i see her face
Smiling with yours
My heart doesn't just break
It sinks
Into a dark hole

Taking my life and soul
The rest of my body
Falls angry and stabs
Stab
Stab
     Stabs
Until i can't breathe
But i didn't want to cry
Therefore i drank
Because the poison
Soothed the anger

Id rather poison myself
Then let it out
Yet a song played
I wrote the words out
In my diary

And each mark
I put down
Reminded me
And brought a smile
Into a frown

Each memory escaped me
And then returned
Darker and unsettled
Now they hurt
But
Theyre in pen

I can shred the paper
Theyre still written
Even blowing through
The wind

So each mark i made
With each memory i tear
broke free
Now here i am

1am and I'm crying alone
The worst part is
Im so used to this
Yet it always hurts more
Each
*******
Time

I was so happy
I wore yellow
The day after
You touched my heart

Now i remember
Yellow was never
My color
I only know
Deep blue

The yellow is raining
The rain won't stop
It's cold and hailing
I keep failing
Everything

The storm is breaking
Im in it and shaking
The ground is quaking
Inside it's aching

Deep inside
That yellow dress
Is torn and bruised
My fingers bled too much
To fix it

I'm so sorry.
My pain never goes away
Im so sorry
The endless crying won't stop
Im so sorry
You hurt me
And I can't
  Stop
     Missing
              You

Im sorry
I'm a fool
i just give up. Everyone hurts ne and then acts like its ok. And i never do anything but cry becayse when i tey i get laughed at and hurt. I got replaced. So fast. Right in my face like im a ******* joke.
440 · Mar 2023
Bless be the snow
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
Sometimes in the darknest of days
Snow may fall
Like the biggest
Surprise
On my face

I will dance
By myself
I will feel the magic
Within oneself
I will shine like never before
I will remember my glitter
From days before

You don't always need
Someone
To shine
You don't always need
Someone
To dance at night
You can have your own magic

Bless be the snow
Coming to me
With a glow
Bless be your love
From above
I can dance again
I can feel the brisk
Again
The magic
In my pen
The extra skip
In my step
The snow
On my breath

Bless be this dance
Bless be
This chance
435 · Sep 2018
Love-less
Hello Daisies Sep 2018
Oh sweet child
What has the world done to you
You used to have so much love so wild
Until they stripped the rose glasses away from you

You fell in love with so many souls
Yet each one ripped you apart and laughed at the mess
You blackened out your heart yet no one seems to know
It's all you could do it just hurt much less

You're afraid to ever love
But also terrified you'll never find it deep down
But now you lie and say loves for fools with white doves
Because that makes you look wiser even with your constant frown
I feel very numb to feelings anymore becsuse i did it to myself on purpose. Ive sorta beem taught from life thats what i have to do. always feel like an idiot when i have feelings for people
433 · Feb 2019
First time
Hello Daisies Feb 2019
I still remember
How you held
my hand
On your chest

I remember how you
Made me feel comfort
For my first time
With another

I asked you to take me
You asked if i was sure
I said yes
You obliged

Afterwards i didnt know
How to be
So i layed alone
Until you held me

Thank you
For making sure
I didn't feel
Used

I'm not mad at you
Becuase i knew
I'm simply
Afraid

To lose what i had
With you
I'm so insecure
But i can't be sincere

It was only
A hookup
I was warned
Many a time

Yet it happened again
So it left my mind
I want to keep you
Over the weekends

When they are over
You can go about
But you're being taken
From me

Like everyrhing else is
Why must she be here
She's ruining my get away
I don't like her

I'm sure that's wrong
It's becoming a blur
My mind hurts so much
I just want some companionship


  Please
Don't take it away from

Me
This isnt very good but i wanted to let out some overwhelming thoughts ive been having for months that are getting so much worse
430 · Dec 2018
Somebody
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
I long to write
Beautiful things
Like Shakespeare
And elegant ballgowns
Something with more meaning
Then simply feeling down

I long to write
Of romeo and Juliet
Symbolic and deeper then most see
Oh thou arent very good with writing

I long to write
Like egar allen poe
Or any inspiration i claim to love
But instead i write of the dead things
That roam through my mind stirring

Pound pound pounding
My mind is  constantly aching
She's but a young child
Cry cry crying
For attention she seeks but it keeps dying

Plays and music will not be wrote
Of the things i write
For they are not artistic
They are but a jumbled mess
Never knowing where to place
Each
Line or
Stanza

Now I'm rambling
On and on and on
She goes sad and chaotic
Whispering obscenities
And screaming repetitive words and pleas

I adore the poems and songs
That at face value seem
Like they are about love for another
When truly they ring about darkness

Oh sweet child
Your love keeps thy so warm
But it's breaking into a storm
I watch you try to sleep
Why do you weep?
Dost thou not realize thy beauty?
Stab thy heart into shreds
For i cannot breath without the
But i cannot smile when thy fills my blood with led

Sweet little girl
You have made no sense
Get on your knees and repent
For you will never be

Somebody
My head was filled with so very mamy words this morning i had to get them all out
426 · Mar 2023
Obsessed with the sound
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
You tore out my heart
laying on the ground
Finally I hear it's sound
Pa dum pa dum
I'm obsessed with this sound
Pa dum pa dum
Pa dum
Pa dum

You tore me apart
I'm listing to my heart
All I hear is this sound
Sounds of broken magic
Sounds of something tragic
Pa dum pa dum ssss

Obsessed with such beauty
Obsessed with the sweet romance
Obsessed with the brisk October
With the warm summer nights
Waiting in lines
Reaching the destination
Seeing the stars
Falling apart
Falling
Onto my own heart
Pa dum pa dum

You tore my heart out
Laying on the ground
I'm obsessed with it's sound
Pa dum pa dum

All I hear
All I swear
It's all I hear
It's all I care
About
Your sound
Mini m&Ms
Laying on the playground
Mini M&Ms
Don't usually have a sound
When you see them
I can hear them
Pa dum pa dum
We always shared them
Pa dum pa dum


We shared many things
Secrets, truths, heartbreak
Laughter love
Adventure
We shared many
Many of these
Can you believe
I could ever let it go
Let this sound go
Pa dum pa dum

I can finally hear it again
Thank you my beloved friend
You tore my heart out
The one I thought I lost
With you in the war
Or maybe from before
Now I feel the magic
Of every moment of course
I cherish how it hurts
...hurts
It hurts ....it hurts so
Pa dum pa dum pa DUMPADUMPADUMDDUMDUMDOOOMDOOMDOOM

I cherish it so
Thank you for this pain
I dance in the blood
Of the bleeding of vein
On the ground
I dance
On the ground
To the sound
Of my torn out heart
I relish every part
From finish to start
Repeating
Cycling
    through me
  Constantly
I dance
I...
Dance
As I paint my face red
With every shade
Every piece of led
You ever fed
Me
I can taste it
I can hear it
The sound
Of the trains
Pa dum pa dum

You tore my heart out
On the ground
I am obsessed with the sound
Pa dum pa dum
The sound of trains at night
The sound of laughing and feeling alright
The sound...of inner bliss
And naivety over this
I can hear the sound
Of my heart again
Having it ripped open
I am obsessed with the ****** romance
Of feeling pain
It's better then nothing
So they say
I wish there was another way
To hear
The sound of my heart
Then having it torn apart
Laying on the ground
Pa dum pa dum
Watching it bleed out
With every
Time
I
See
Your face
Every
Time
I
See
That place
Every
Pa dum
Pa dum
Time I see the stars
Pa dum pa dum
Every
Time
I
Remember
Your
Heart
Pa dum pa dum
Every
Time ...
Every
Time
I
...pa dum pa dum
Every
Time
I
Wish
We weren't apart
Pa dum pa dum
It loses more
Blood
The sound is slowly
Mud
Until I learn to erase
Your disgrace
Until I learn
To face
My obsession
With my lost
Possession
It'll die
And the sound will go

Until then
This is all I know
To hold onto
To feel

You tore out my heart
On the ground
I'm obsessed with the sound
...pa dum pa dum
Pa...ssssss


You've won again
My once beloved friend
423 · Mar 2023
Find me
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
I found myself in you
I lost myself in you
The greatest parts of me
Lost in the cavalry
Will I ever know her
  Again
Will I ever show her
To a new friend

I play pretend
That getting over you
Is possible
That doing the right thing
Being responsible
Is better
Then having you
Forever

We were infinite
We were immeasurable
We were an eternity
We were
Beautiful
Now we're gone
Now we don't belong
I don't belong
I'm a void
I'm a toy
Of the world
Toss me around
I'm not a girl
I'm not even sure
If I'm alive anymore

We were amazing
We were brilliant
We were exhilarating
We were awe inspiring
We were
    Happy

A year has came
A year has left
I'm stuck in this mess
Frozen in time
Of you're left over crimes

Take me back
Help me find myself
Dust off the shelf
Of my misery
Let me see my history
In light again
I don't wanna play pretend

I want to be me
I want to be free
I want to be funny
And sweet like honey
Like we were
Where is the cure
Of the obscure
Void
I'm in.

I've always been sad
I've always had issues
We held them together
Made them better
Now I can't breathe
In any weather
I'm weaker
Then any feather

We were stronger then leather
I wore your jacket out
I tried to sew it together
Make it look better
Inside I could tell
It wouldn't last
Not in this harsh weather
It'll come undone
I couldn't except that never ever
Let me try to sew it better
Please please
Let me try
...let me
Try
Better
Please

We were young
We were red and gold
We were queens
We were sky high
We were .. .
     Epic

We were
We were
We were
I need to accept those words
I'm getting better
But I can't get myself together
I was happy
I was beautiful
I was eternity
I was
... Me
Now I'm nobody
Now I'm lost
Now I'm a void
No joy
No life
No hope
Only isolation
Only an empty
Train station
Eternally hoping
I'll see u again
Coming of the train
Running back to me
Holding eachother together
Sewing our ripped up holes
Back to warmth again
Seeing myself in your eyes
My lonely friend


I want to find me
Exit the void
I want to find
Happy
Without you
I want to find
Infinite
I want to find
...life
Again
417 · Dec 2018
Married
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
I'll never get married
Love is a lie
Be single til i die

Cinderella was beautiful
Prince came to her
And sparkles were everywhere

They rode into
Happily ever after
With joyous laughter

Love like that exists
Until you open your eyes
And you start to cry

love left you traumatized
After so long they changed
Became so deranged

I'll never get married
Anyone i ever love
Turns into a black dove
411 · Mar 2023
Dollar general
Hello Daisies Mar 2023
I saw two girls
Laughing and shopping
At a dollar general
It reminded me
When I wasn't so
Miserable

When I had friends
To buy snacks with
When every day
Wasn't consumed with
Trying to be better
Trying to be skinny
Hating myself
Feeling lonely
Dark
Cold

I miss that laughter
I miss those days
Together
Any weather
We were warm
Eating snacks
Telling eachother
Random
Facts
Buying crazy
Toys
Laughing
About
Boys

Those were the days
Now I sit in a cube
Isolated alone
In my cold room
In my cold mind
Focusing on
Whatever the ****
The grind
Is
That's all I do
Isolated
In
My
Cold cube
391 · Nov 2018
Peace and love
Hello Daisies Nov 2018
Free and flowing
Vivid dreaming
Never knowing
Where I'll be next

Pink and full of fluff
Dancing carelessly
Nothings too rough
With peace and love

Sunshine and smiles
Confidently living
Openly being wild
With my emotions

Beauty and stars
Flowing clothing
Driving fast in cars
With new faces along the way

What am i talking about, you ask?
A life full of peace
A life i feel within my hidden mask
that i want to let shine through brighter then the sun
Im always trying to find myself not knowing who i am but i always come back to these kinds of emotions, soft and at peace. I love colors and i love freedom. I only wish inwas confident in myself the way i imagine to be. Flowing in the wind.
388 · May 2019
Tap dancing
Hello Daisies May 2019
I just want to tap dance
Twirling skirts
Fast feet

Tip tip tap!

Going fast
It's gonna last
Forever

Fun music
No worries
Bring others with stories

To dance off
It's art
It's beauty

It's not unruly
Outlaw me
I'm so quick and speedy

Let me move my feet
In the summer heat
Flowers blooming so neat!

Let me shake my bottom
In the flowing autumn
I feel like I'm a blossom

Tippitty tippity tap!

It's a smack
To the ground
With joyous sound

Musical notes fly
High in the sky
Giving hope a try

Swirl into the blue dew
It's harmonious
And delicious

My feet tapping
The beat rapping
Everyone's fingers snapping

Except I'm burning out
I'm draining like a cloud
Energy spewing down

My eyes burn
My ears hear no sound
Words leave my mouth

My head's gone south
To the floor
I can't take this no more

The tip tip tapping

It isn't stopping
It's going too fast
I'm burning out

Taptaptaptap
Taptaptaptap

How is this fun
We all need to run
I'm burning in the sun

The heat blisters my skin
This feels like sin
take off that stupid grin

Let me sleep
Please stop dancing
It's not enchanting

It's loud and piercing
Everything is gleaming
My blood is streaming

Please calm down folks
Stop the obnoxious talks
I'm not insane

I just must restrain
From too much tapping
Because my body starts overlapping
Panic and mania
379 · Nov 2018
Colors
Hello Daisies Nov 2018
Pink is fun
Pink is bright
Pink is light

I desire to be free
I desire to be soft
I desire to be love
I desire to be pink

Blue is sad
Blue is chilly
Blue is not silly
Blue is melancholy

Sometimes I'm down
Sometimes I'm raining
Sometimes I'm drained
Sometimes I'm blue

Black is dark
Black is depressed
Black is colorless

I don't want to be soulless
I don't want to hate
I don't want to dissociate
I don't want black
Ive been feeling emotions in colors lately and pink is what i want but black and blue is how i feel
379 · Jun 2022
Dandelions
Hello Daisies Jun 2022
Nothing beats the
Bewilderment
The amazement
Being wonderstruck

From 500 thousand dandelions
In a field
Just me
Happy as can be

I'm rolling
I'm tumbling
The dandelions have taken hold of me

Behind a playground
Little ol me
Lost in the field
Momma's looking for me
Hours have passed

I'm not her daughter right now
I'm a fairie
And this is my land
My fun
My everything
The dandelions chose me
And nothing has the same beauty

As that sweet innocent bliss
From a simple thing
Like dandelions and me
Feeling free as a bee 🐝

Why can't I still be that happy
378 · Jul 2019
Forever crush
Hello Daisies Jul 2019
Its midnight
I sit in my car
Swaying to Taylor swift
I think of you

I breathe in a smile
One I haven't felt in so long
I forgot this feeling
It's so pure

I can't stop gushing
And swirling
I'm not just hearing music
Now I can feel it

I'm like a teenage girl again
Excited and blushing
The feeling so innocent
Peaceful and adorable

All you did was smile
I breathe your smile in
My heart became full
Like it used to be around you

It's not a dark desire
Or a desperate want
It's a sweet kiss
A innocent bliss
A autumn evening
That keeps me believing

Love is real
When I see you
I can never have you
But that's okay
Because being around you
Is joy enough

You like me for me
I don't need to change
And that's so kind
Thank you
For being you
And making me
Believe
This boy I've loved forever just oof ok
Just reminds me that I can feel love when I thought j lost my magic but I still have it thank.you
377 · May 2020
Peeled
Hello Daisies May 2020
If you've never been molested
If you think it's no big deal
If you think it's the victims fault
If you think we're just attention seekers

Just know this
I've been dead since I was a child
I can't recall who I was
Or who I ever will be
I can't feel anything
I'm completely empty

I see shadows
Of monsters and demons
I pray to a god I may not believe in
I can't trust anyone
Not even my own family

I block out my memories
Only to bleed through my dreams
I can't breathe if someone touches me
I'm shaking endlessly
I'm unable to love

I can't be loved
It was taken from me
When their hand went into me
I was broken
By a man who got sympathy

Where's my sympathy?
Where's my healing
Where's my it's not your fault
They gave it to him
Let him sin
With a grin
While I'm here
Sinking
Into darkness

I only let monsters hold me
I'm afraid of the light
I'm disgusting and it's always my fault
How everything went wrong

I'm so sorry
That you're disgusting disgrace
Touched my innocent face
Forced me into a shadow
Peeled my skin from me
Shed me into insanity
I looked so cute in my bathing suit huh

And noone ever came
They never stopped it
Always ignored
Always devoured
So please understand
I will never heal
I will never deal
And I will continue to peal
Until my body dies
Along with my soul
Quarentine has my trauma raised up and I have been denying it this entire time but I guess it's really hitting me tonight
376 · Jul 2019
Abuse
Hello Daisies Jul 2019
The scariest part of abuse
Is you always think
Well that's can't possibly be me
As you lay there
S
   I
N
   K
I
  N
G
  Into iNsAnItY
374 · Dec 2018
Shattered
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Broken girl
Empty world
Repeating these words

My hearts been half alive
Except when we three collide
Sunshine and rain we thrived

The noise is drowning
The smiles are frowning
Loneliness is pounding

Breaking inside
You try to hide
My heart just can't deny

The bowl is empty now
Tipping without dripping somehow
Until the glass shattered down

You made smoke mirrors
my heart numb with errors
I did not want to feel the terror

The dark hit the sun
I knew i didn't belong
beautiful moments suddenly felt gone

Why must i cry at my joyous past
With you forever it would last
breaking down with pain so vast

I thought my heart to be broken
But a new feeling has awoken
Being fixed is stolen

I'm shattered
Why must i continue a life of onky hurt and pain
Awaking everyday to a new hurt
Everythingms getting darker
Just when i thought i found a light again it was a joke and i got hurt so much worse
I cant try any more
Realkt thought i might end it all but guess im here still
374 · Jan 2019
Manic
Hello Daisies Jan 2019
Pacing pacing
Pacing racing
Falling screaming

Staying going
Writing cryiNG
RACING RACING
WORDS WORDS WORDS

S T O P
NO NO

Soemone talk to me
I'm feeling needy
No wait

I feel great
It's 3am
I don't even need sleep

I've slept all day
So tired
I feel uninspired

Wow it's so pretty
I am too
Everyrhing is okay

Listen to me
LISTEN TO ME
STOP STOP

IGNORING ME

Trauma trauma
Get over it
Stop throwing a fit

Are you okay
You need help
I'll do anything

Dear god
Am i crazy
Everyone says i am

Look at them
Disturbing
I can't be like that

No wait
I like this
It makes me different

Dear god **** me
It's not unique
I'm a freak

Tears of joy yesterday
Now drops of sorrow
Ahaha love is borrowed

Whisper whipser
calming calming
The storm is coming

I sent you a novel
YOU DIDN'T REPLY
Dear god my minds dry

Stop talking
Speak to me
So restless endlessly

Daydreaming
Oh the day is gone
Where'd you all go

Time is slow
No it's F A S T
Nothing is meant to last

I'm tired now
I can't sleep
Maybe I'll research

Something neat

Goodnight
Goodnight
LEAVE ME ALONE

Okay im sorry
For the harsh tone

Why are you leaving

                        This is normal
I think i need to accept I'm like my father
With a bipolar disorder
My minds gone crazy
Not sure who i was today
People said wow yoyre so funny and happy today
But yesterday i wanted to end myself

I can't sleep again

I wish i was normal lol
372 · Nov 2018
21 and Reckless
Hello Daisies Nov 2018
today i am love sick
Yesterday i was reckless
This year i am entirely lost

I let my heart break so quick
I have been crying like a complete mess
My heart was frozen into a frost

I laughed when told to enjoy these moments
I cried when told these would be my best years
I broke because this has been the worst year of all

But now in this car the night soothes the torment
Because i realize from this hell trip that  I lived through so many fears
I braved through it and got up after every fall

No one would understand the terror in my mind
The sadness in my soul
The feeling of having your gut constantly churn

Sometimes i stop and feel  growth changing within my mind
I'm learning to let awful things go
Alanis morrisette really was right when she said you live and you learn

I am so reckless
I'm currently deeply heartbroken
A rising alcholic with noone to call my own
Crying at every failure


But I'll look back at this and learn it's ok to be a mess
Having my heart broke made my eyes open
I wanted to live life and I'm being shown
That to have fun and love I'll have to often be a total failure
Ive been going through so very much. Very deoressed and stressed. Possibly worst year if my life. But i keep going and i dont know how. Im terrified it'll get worse but after this trip i had i realized some things. The trip was my last hope for something good to happen. While it didnt work out that way it taught me to let things go and to be ok with being reckless right now. Just don't go too far. And that no matter what i can be strong. Im still finding myself
371 · Oct 2018
positivity
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
There once was a girl named Mary Louis
She was from another planet far away
She was so excited to learn all the things she just had to stay!
Everyone enjoyed her silly self, always chasing bees

They called the alien little miss positivity!
She was always happy and eager to learn
Until she tried to do things with no money and got burned
The humans looked at her and said what are you thinking get in  reality!

She took this as a stepping  stone still excited for life
She'd dance wherever shed go never staying still
Everyone got annoyed with her and told her to jump off a hill
They told her you're too old for fun come get with strife!


No matter what happens, she said she wouldn't lose her self
She'll see the good in everyone always there for those in need
They told her she was naive everyone will make you bleed
They didn't like who she was she was too different from everyone else on the shelf

Now surely she cries every night wishing for her death
She doesnt smile to humans anymore she lets them know of her sad soul
They look at her and say be positive,  you could be so phenomenal!
Mary cries into her hands, but this is what i was taught, to be sad until my last breath!
I dont think this is actually good but i had a story in my mind i wanted to write and thought maybe i would try it as a poem
367 · Jun 2019
Independent
Hello Daisies Jun 2019
Dear,
   Everyone
Who ever mocked me
Who ever looked down
Who ever made fun of me
Who ever made me cry

The tears I shed
Were not in your name
They were from my own blame
You never owned anything

I know you see it
How strong I really am
I'm quiet and afraid
But really you're amazed

I've battled wars you'll never know
Blood and guts unimaginable
You only see the wounds
Yet you're still afraid

Call me weak
Call me pathetic
Call me what you may
It won't stay

I am so brave
Knock me down
I'll fall so very far
But I'll get up so very tall

You're weak
You're stupid
You're pathetic
Above all, you're afraid

Don't pin that on me
I didn't ruin your destiny
You can't taint my soul
I'll still be nice but I won't
Be nobody's fool

Dear, everyone
      You will never break me
       So ******* *** I'll live beautifully
360 · Oct 2018
Unsual
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
Isn't it unusual
To read of love and joy
And cry tears of hurt and sorrow?

Isnt it unsual
For a happy feeling
To truly hurt and feel like it's borrowed?

Oh isn't it just a tad unsual
No matter how hard you try
To never fall in love with another?

I find it too normal
Until i see others
So close together when I'm never with a lover
Hi i start a new job tomorrow but i have so much anxiety over it so my thoughts are else where. I sometimes forget that falling in love or having crushes is normal to most. For me it isn't. Whenever i feel for someone else i am rejected and/or mocked as though i did something wrong. I never really feel like i fit in. I find it hard to watch happy romance movies they just make me feel sad. That's probably fine
353 · Mar 2019
Magic
Hello Daisies Mar 2019
Marry me
Marry me
My shining beauty

Dance with me
Dance with me
On this spinning merry go round

I am a fairie
And you are a wizard
Together we make magic
In a world thats a blizzard


Shine with me
Shine with me
On top the moonlit sea

Run away
Run away
Together into the forest

I'll twinkle my wings
As you wave your wand
I'll never lose your reflection
In this glistening pond
348 · Jul 2019
Pit
Hello Daisies Jul 2019
Pit
This pit in my stomach is tasty
It inflates me
Leaves me gasping
In tragedy

I'll sing a peaceful Melody
It won't calm me
I'll just pretend willfully

The voices ring to me
Screaming screaming
They never seem to stop you see
This pit grows steadily

Twisting and burning
All throughout me
I pretend optimistically
Until I bend

Lay me down
Let me sleep
You hear me weep
As each voices whispers
I quiver
Quiver
Quiver

I must adore this seed
That lets me bleed
For it's all I know
So I'll reap it and sow
:(
347 · Apr 2024
It's "just anxiety"
Hello Daisies Apr 2024
I am a gut
Bloated and acidic
I am  veins pulsating
In pain
I am nothing
And everything

I am like a zombie
Purple and
not breathing
What's keeping
A hold on me?

I am a head
Pulsating
And stabbing
I am but eyes
Blurry and deceiving
What's causing
This bleeding ?

I am fingers
Numb and gone
I am but legs
Aching
And wrong
Falling
To the ground

I am a heart
Shaking rapidly
Pulsating sadly
I am
Anxiety
Twisting and turning
Nauseated and burning

I am
I am
I.  ..
Am
Falling apart
Miserably
And fast
I'm not going
To last

I am not human
I am a mystery
Nobody cares to discover
Lost and put under covers

I am not me
I am not alive
I cannot thrive
I am
What doesn't matter
Thrown and tossed aside

All I am
Is pain
And more money
To gain

I remain
As all this pain
To them
More money to gain
I am
An illness
That will forever
Remain
Chained
In this body
With no humanity
Left
To retain
I've been very ill for sometime now
346 · Apr 2019
Joy
Hello Daisies Apr 2019
Joy
I can't seem to grasp
If I'm running from joy
Or joys running from me

Is it my gloomed presence
Of fear and trauma
Making the joy run


Or is it my secret love
For despair and pain
Causing me to run
From anything resembling
The presence of joy

I'm so tired
Someone please
Just make the running
Stop
345 · Sep 2019
My turn doesn't exist
Hello Daisies Sep 2019
I'm getting tired
Tired of writing about the small things
That fade away before the end of the day
Every touch
Every smell
Every blush

Gone before I get to grasp

When will it ever be my turn
To fall in love
When will you ever
Look at me and see someone
Who's enough
341 · Jul 2019
La La La
Hello Daisies Jul 2019
La la la
La la la
I'm going down
An endless road
I do not know why
I must go
La la la
La la la

There's burning
And crashing
And brutal death
But I'll go
Until my last breath
I guess
La la la
La la la

I'm in absolute misery
I finally realized it's pointless
Open your eyes stop singing
The warning bells keep ringing
La la la
La la la

Everyday a smile
Just to appease them for awhile
Until night falls and I'll consider
How I'll fall

I'm alone now
Only walls surround me
I can stop singing
This cheery mockery
338 · Jun 2024
All I longed for was (you)
Hello Daisies Jun 2024
I longed for
peace and fun
    some sense of belong-ing
              never wrong doing

I needed you
I wanted you
I ran for you
every day
it's all I knew
I didn't know
you
    I wanted to
I
     wanted
                    to.

you ran away from
me
ran away from peace
you kept running
and I kept falling behind
losing my mind
as you left
losing your breath
                                       so fast
gone with the wind
gone with the tide
every tide
another lie
another poem
another one gone
another frown
into my own arms
twirling and hating
shaming and blaming
always gone
never found.

the tide would win
bruises were found
hide my frowns
never a crown
always a clown
with you
longing for you
what could I do
what could I be
you were lost
inside the sea
lost without me
a sense of being

who are you?
why are you?
will I ever find you?
did I ever have you?
why do you torture me?
why do you paint me so dark
and blue
leaving out all the other hues
why can't you see me as I am
as my true
my true self
....there you go again
run run running
away
at the thought of another quake
inside my brain
another flake
falling into grains
falling into it's own pieces
melted inside my bowl
my bowl spills empty
there you go
you always know

always know
how to empty my bowl

I'll keep chasing
I'll keep racing
sometimes I break
break into two
I love me
or do I love you
can't it be both?
love for all?
forgiveness and all that?
I guess you'll never know that
maybe I won't either ...

I keep running
running away
from me
running away from you
I tire now
of all this running
when ?
tell me sweet little voices
when?
when will i truly get to know you
stop running
start loving
please
start
    pouring
             my bowl is empty
start the rain
stop the shame
let me dance in the rain
                                       with   you
337 · Sep 2018
Take me (thanks to you)
Hello Daisies Sep 2018
Take me up high but drag me

    Down
Low
My starry eyes look UPon you
But with no |glow|

I shrink and shiver with YOUR BREATHE upon me

I want to feel safe
Noone come near


Me

Take me away
Somewhere more         [safe]
I was a fool to ever have faith

My starry eyes shatter
Underneath my heart

it's a pit within my stomach
It makes me want to lie
underneath you and *****

For i was a f l o w e r
Blooming and ~colorful~

Now I'm a puppet

Dead and miserable
I wrote this to the man who used me for years manipulated me and eventually molested me, i hope you notice tbe strange and messy symbols, capitalization, and placement were done for a reason. To show the mess in my head to describe the meaning. I really like this one i wrote. I can feel it.
334 · Sep 2018
No Use
Hello Daisies Sep 2018
Well maybe I'm starting to know
Deep down in my being
That to try in this world has no meaning

Maybe I've always knew
But it's overflowing
My entire life the strife has been growing

The harder you try
The harder you fall
But try they say or it'll mean nothing at all

I feel as a fool
Breaking my back
For a life that doesn't love me back

I blame myself
And i blame others
Really i just need to close the shudders

Why unravel thyself to the world
Trying, bending, and overflowing everyway
When we'll just end up closed off and buried six feet under anyway

Theres no point,  
no point at all
We'll all rise and eventually fall

So lets all take a deep breath
Breathe in the truth
That life, love, trying it's all useless there is  no use.
I wrote this a bit ago while going through a hard time and losing a lot in life
334 · Jun 2019
Night bird
Hello Daisies Jun 2019
Here here little bird
Come quietly without a word
Come see the shimmering beauty

It bounces off the moon
Into the lake
Red blue and green
Dancing like a ballerina

Chirp to me little bird
Sing your song with all your words
This night has a touch of magic

Why are you awake so late?
I'm glad you're here
But fear you may be misplaced
Entranced and misguided by her
Glowing touch

Use her warmth as a clutch
She holds the last hope
Only gliding softly through
Our dreams
Idk I'm tired
334 · Oct 2018
Go Away
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
where do i start
There are so many thoughts racing
Trying to find a finish line
But before they ever can a new one begins

And somehow they keep leading
To thoughts about you
The things you did to me
How sick you made me feel

I was so obsessed with you for so long
You ****** me over more then i can even understand
I thought once i said no more
That meant i would never have to think of you again

Yet your disgrace lingers
The pain you caused
Is still on my face
You're shaking my life
Please go the **** away

You make my skin crawl
Until i cant even sleep at all
I want you to go away
Why wont you go away

I wanted you to mature
To be someone better
I saw the ugly within you
But i hate to hate

Now i see
You still wont let me be
I want to make you go away
Please just go away

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

I told you
I told everyone
Yet your disgrace
Only seems to hit me
in the face

I hear your name spread through the wind
By people who adore you
Why do people hold onto evil
And close their eyes to the good

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

One day when i write
It won't be about you or the distaste of your soul
One day I'll write a beautiful song
Of the women i let myself become

I want to write such beautiful poems
But inside i feel such a disgust
Everyrhing i write is absolute trash
Simply because i know not how to write of such vile natures

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

I said goodbye to you and meant it
Noone believed me they called me a liar
I'll do whatveer it takes
To never hear the curse of your name

When I'm free i can finally
Pray for your sorry soul
But while you stay and torment me
I only wish for your absolute hell

So please
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
I didnt put much thought into this just pure feelings, been gping through a hard time and it isnt getting better and it's like the person who hurt me gets away with it all. Shame.
Anyway i never said hi everyone! Im new to this website! Love everyones poems! You guys inspire me.
327 · Aug 2019
Freak
Hello Daisies Aug 2019
I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

I'm such a freak
I wish I could change
It's not fun in anyway
I wish the kids asked me to play

Here I stay
Lost and astray
Afraid to misbehave
I'm just a nobody slave

I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

God I'm such a loser
I cry every night
Look at me Ima fright
I got demons I can't fight

The sun doesn't give me light
I must run and hide
The kids all like to laugh
As I fall and hit the grass

I wasn't chosen last
I was never chosen at all
I wish I was ten feet tall
But I'm not interesting at all

I'm such a freak
Freak
  Freak
      F r e a k

All I ever wish
Put it on Santa's list
I'm completely helpless
I can only reminisce
Other's lives

still  I wish I was normal
I wish I was in your world
Happy and hopeful
Free and beautiful

Maybe I'd be better
Maybe I'd be clever
Maybe I'd be at peace
And not such a freak
I don't really like this or vibe with what I wrote but I was tryna write song type lyrics ? Idk
327 · Nov 2018
Cold
Hello Daisies Nov 2018
Cold
Shivering
Sad

I don't know the words to say
But i can really feel the gloom from today
I like colder weather but today is a sad day and im freezing and I'm just pretty sad
325 · Mar 2019
Ignored
Hello Daisies Mar 2019
Im talking
Always talking
Nobody is ever listening

I start screaming
They scream back
Be quiet

They won't hear
The pain and fear
I need help

They tell me they're busy
Stop being needy
Stop being greedy

I hide my emotions
I lock down
Then they ask why the frown

I'm writing
I keep writing
Nobody's reading

I'm bleeding
I keep bleeding
Nobody's seeing

I'm dying
I keep dying
Nobody's coming
im used to being ignored but it hurts more everyday. My own family does it like it's just alright.
Noone wants to hear me talk lol
323 · Sep 2019
Lost myself
Hello Daisies Sep 2019
Who am I
Where am I
Why am I screaming
Why am I doing this

This isn't me
But I don't know me
But I'm panicking

Why did I do that
How could I
Be such a little ****

Is it wrong
Is it me
What happened to my sanity

My head's twisted
Swirling and curling
I'm afraid of everything

I feel guilty
I need my humility
I've gone too far

If I keep being reckless
I'll end up ***** and bruised
I don't wanna be used

Not again
I must be good
I can not sin

I don't want punishment
Please forgive me
For I've lost all my sanity
I think I'm actually insane
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