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Lily Priest Jan 23
Honestly, I was paralysed
Quick breathed, chest choking kind
That numbs to the tips of fingers
And the bottom of the heart,
Feet spread wide apart as if I ever stood a chance of taking the blow.
Its stings,
bleary eyed I'm blinking and rubbing at the skin, massage the redness away;
All that nasty shame and the ridiculous burn of guilt
That has me wilting round my shadow.
I think I might have seen something,
Hints bleeding into the beauty of blissfull ignorance and dulling the gleam,
Blinkers just a little skew-wiff
To let the light in and shine on your bare ***
Going to town between someone else's legs.
You dont look half as nice now,
Your flesh is pale and hair curls darkly
And its gross, like those meaty moans
That make you sound like a boar.
I can't call her a *****, not really,
But shes enjoying herself with the lie of one
Screaming obscenities to God
As if hed take time out of his
Busy schedule to fulfil her voyeristic fantasies,
Deity bowing his head to watch
You smash into her and smash us to pieces.
You're shuddering and shes faking those screams
There"s no glee in her eyes, just the simpering emptiness of making you feel like a man.
But your not, you're a coward
Who's **** is fond of flattery,
chases it like a puppy, perking up hopefully to be petted.
I dont think I'm upset anymore.
I'm out the door and rain falls cool on the ground
I'm crunching down the gravel,
shedding my committment,
It's has a satisfying sound that dies
Beaneath my boot as you stumble after me.
'It's not what you think'
It's funny because I honestly
Hadn't thought anything except
I'd never never seem you like that before;
Not so raw and pasty
And ugly.
Maybe you'll meander back into my mind
As divine as you have been before
But right now I deplore the memory.
I dont love you
Because I dont know who you are.
That breath stealing moment when you realise someone is not who you thought they were.
The apple of my eye
The sun in my sky
Even though it feels like needles in my nerves
I keep those memories close by
On my toast I’m smearing strawberry preserves
The day that I’ve gotten justice is the day he’ll get what he deserves
I’m manifesting my own death
Fantasizing taking my last breath
I can’t melt my favorite wax cubes because all they do is remind me of you
I can’t listen to my favorite song because all I hear when I listen is your sweet little voice singing along
His heart was in my wallet
I’m crying cause I called it
I wrap an arm around myself in attempts to find some solace but I’m missing my other half
I tell myself I know where I’m going but I’m scared to continue down this dark and narrow path
But I know I’ve got to be strong
I don’t want to be where I don’t belong
I swear these days are getting real long
I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong
Anjali Jun 2020
people pull you down,
hurt you,
make you feel worthless
they cheer you on
help you,
and heal you

so keep a eye on this tragedy of the universe
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Planted with love,
watered by compassion,
fertilized with the light of our presence.

But it was all an illusion,
for the it was planted in betrayal,
watered with disappointments,
fertilized with lies
and maintained by fakes.

Our roses were red,
but now they are dead.
Weak and brittle petals,
crumbling beneath my feet.
Safiya Husain Mar 2019
Like a harbour docked with ships ,
That Leave and arrive in the guidance of a light house, is my heart.
A shelter to the arriving and departing love.
Yes, but...non-guided.
Wrecked,Wretched and awful.
That once rented a gruesome space
to a soujourner.
A tenent unknown and untrustworthy.
Hello Daisies Mar 2019
Haha i lied
I tried to hide
I am just so tired
Of crying

I kept the facade up
Really believed myself
When i said
I wasnt bothered

yet i stood there
My heart breaking
At each word she said
About laying in that bed

With you
Seeing you
Ignoring me
And wanting her

Talking to her
Like you did me
It wasmt just jealousy
But pure hurt

Now I cry
And i ask why
******* why
Everyone makes me die

A little more each time
My heart really hurts
How cruel to me
You didnt have to be

I was happy with what we had
You pushed me away like trash
And she took my feelings
And ripped them apart

Ruthelssly she came at me
Eyes wide open shamelessly
Telling me her exploits
As she stomped on my heart

In front of everyone
I smiled as she pounded
Twisted and churned
With a burning sledge

Maybe a bulldozer
It hurt more then anything
Yet i smiled becuase
What can i do
Jokingly tell you off

Is about all i can manage
Becuase it doesn't matter
To anyone but me
Lets face it
I'm nothing

Replaceable to all
Everyone waits for my fall
They see me crawl
And hit so many walls

They all laugh
Hurting me is ok
Beating my face in
In the middle of the day

It's cruel and unsual
But for me it's normal
Everyone watches
Noo ne cares

I'm in pain
I expected this
I did think of course

That when you moved on
You'd be a bit kinder
Then taking full force
And ripping me in half

Its okay
I'm sure you're a great guy
It's just me
My eyes

They speak to people
They tell everyone
To hurt me
In the sickest ways

I must have a price to pay
With god
I don't get normal
I get eternal damnation
And I'm still alive

When i see her face
Smiling with yours
My heart doesn't just break
It sinks
Into a dark hole

Taking my life and soul
The rest of my body
Falls angry and stabs
Until i can't breathe
But i didn't want to cry
Therefore i drank
Because the poison
Soothed the anger

Id rather poison myself
Then let it out
Yet a song played
I wrote the words out
In my diary

And each mark
I put down
Reminded me
And brought a smile
Into a frown

Each memory escaped me
And then returned
Darker and unsettled
Now they hurt
Theyre in pen

I can shred the paper
Theyre still written
Even blowing through
The wind

So each mark i made
With each memory i tear
broke free
Now here i am

1am and I'm crying alone
The worst part is
Im so used to this
Yet it always hurts more

I was so happy
I wore yellow
The day after
You touched my heart

Now i remember
Yellow was never
My color
I only know
Deep blue

The yellow is raining
The rain won't stop
It's cold and hailing
I keep failing

The storm is breaking
Im in it and shaking
The ground is quaking
Inside it's aching

Deep inside
That yellow dress
Is torn and bruised
My fingers bled too much
To fix it

I'm so sorry.
My pain never goes away
Im so sorry
The endless crying won't stop
Im so sorry
You hurt me
And I can't

Im sorry
I'm a fool
i just give up. Everyone hurts ne and then acts like its ok. And i never do anything but cry becayse when i tey i get laughed at and hurt. I got replaced. So fast. Right in my face like im a ******* joke.
LWZ Jan 2019
The grip is tight without remorse
Suppressing memories of my execution
Betrayal sharp and thin as a knife between the spine
The uneasieness of the crippling fear of defeat
Secrets so sick they stench of rotting flesh

Forgiveness is an elixir
A medicine for the pain
Abandon thyself in means
To achieve a place of tranquility

Self is all I have
Self will last indefinitely
Self betrayal is thick
Like mud on the bayou
Like oil on the water
An eye for an eye
Vengeance, as the mere result of vulnerability

Free yourself,
Let it go
Find a way to feed your soul.
Karey Wassam Dec 2018
of you
the knife
in my
Hello Daisies Dec 2018
Late night talks
Of boys that Ive loved in the past
none have ever loved me
Except one boy i thought truly understood me

For once in my life my feelings felt reciprocated
Possibly fell harder then I for them
We spent nights together laughing until dawn
We stayed up smiling all night fighting the yawns

He told me sweet things so casually i always wanted to hear
It wasnt a pickup line he just said how he felt
I felt a touch of this could finally be something for the first time
He made my heart and mind all a mess i could not rhyme

I wasnt afraid to be myself
He enjoyed every aspect of me
each night spent closer then the last
I grew to fall deeper
he made me love myself with all my so called sins

Too afraid to truly let it be
I ran away and hid
Thinking i ruined it all
he seemed to understand and not blame my fall

It was all happening
A real date something only in fantasy
Twas to happen after I confessed myself to him
the nights went by and i felt a sharp pin

My heart filled with worry as the day grew close
He went silent as a complete ghost
I wrote him with a sliver of hope the night before
He casually said nah I'll go with this other *****
This happened a while ago and tongiht ny mind decided hey im not over it.
Been in kinda isolation lately and just
Thinking about how I'll always be alone and always have ans the one time i got close
And it hurts
It also hurts to see others just like me also crt about being alone
Life is just constantly sad
Hello Daisies Oct 2018
where do i start
There are so many thoughts racing
Trying to find a finish line
But before they ever can a new one begins

And somehow they keep leading
To thoughts about you
The things you did to me
How sick you made me feel

I was so obsessed with you for so long
You ****** me over more then i can even understand
I thought once i said no more
That meant i would never have to think of you again

Yet your disgrace lingers
The pain you caused
Is still on my face
You're shaking my life
Please go the **** away

You make my skin crawl
Until i cant even sleep at all
I want you to go away
Why wont you go away

I wanted you to mature
To be someone better
I saw the ugly within you
But i hate to hate

Now i see
You still wont let me be
I want to make you go away
Please just go away

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

I told you
I told everyone
Yet your disgrace
Only seems to hit me
in the face

I hear your name spread through the wind
By people who adore you
Why do people hold onto evil
And close their eyes to the good

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

One day when i write
It won't be about you or the distaste of your soul
One day I'll write a beautiful song
Of the women i let myself become

I want to write such beautiful poems
But inside i feel such a disgust
Everyrhing i write is absolute trash
Simply because i know not how to write of such vile natures

Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away

I said goodbye to you and meant it
Noone believed me they called me a liar
I'll do whatveer it takes
To never hear the curse of your name

When I'm free i can finally
Pray for your sorry soul
But while you stay and torment me
I only wish for your absolute hell

So please
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
I didnt put much thought into this just pure feelings, been gping through a hard time and it isnt getting better and it's like the person who hurt me gets away with it all. Shame.
Anyway i never said hi everyone! Im new to this website! Love everyones poems! You guys inspire me.
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