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When will I stop associating every sad song
With the way we no longer get along
The way you strung me along
The way you
You broke
And tore me apart
Ripped open my heart
Like an empty pond
Was once beautiful
Now hard to look upon

  When
Can I listen again
To my favorite notes
Without feeling my heart
  

                                    °In my throat°
When I was younger
I would lie awake
Crying
Praying
The other side of the bed wouldn't be empty
One day
Maybe someday

I never imagined
I had no clue
I only dreamt
Of someone like you

I don't think you know
Despite your joking ego
That you're beautiful
Inside and out
Not a single doubt

You're welcoming and true
You're hardworking and unapologetically you
You're the sweet warm brew
That brightens up my blue

I love the kindness you have
I love the way you laugh
I love being with you in a bath
And the way you make me laugh

I never for a second thought
That such a gift would be brought
Into this sad cold world
But here you our
With every single flaw
You own it
You flaunt it
I love you to pieces and bits!

You're like the snow
I waited so long for you to show
But when you came along my heart started to grow
The crystals and cold
The icy white snow
You are a breath of cold wind
Blowing on my face
Making me feel this is my place
My home
My joy
My happiness
Maybe others don't understand
But I know you are one hell of a man!

I love you

Duh!
Hello Daisies Nov 26
I had another dream about you
All I recall is your face
Taunting me
Hurting me
Again and again
After all
That's all it takes

But the lyrics I heard
The music in my head
When I woke in my bed
Singing
Ringing
Piercing  

They were telling me
To be clean
Let the rain
Drain away
All of you

I replayed all of us
I played the song
I heard for so long
And saw you
it hurt
Nothing unusual
Pain came flooding in
Always punctual

In my heart
I knew
It's been time
For awhile
Telling myself
I'm not strong enough
Give me more time
More time to lie
More time to cry
For time to rhyme
Not today
Not tomorrow
Not my future
I need to mature

Let this go
Take this step
Move forward
Away from you
I'll never forget everything
Not one thing
But I can let some pain go
Love the snow
Again
not let you
Ruin
Everything

Her lyrics sang to me
Be clean
Let the rain come
The pain may stay
But I can't keep harboring it
Like an old necklace
Left over from a dead relative

I can't keep it
I must discard you
You're a broken necklace
That keeps stabbing me
You're not even here
But you are controlling my life
Let me be clean

I finally
Finally
  Finally
Took the step
Took control
I will not keep bleeding
On everything
And everyone around me
I will not bleed out
And become nothing
But your leftovers
I will clean the broken glass
The scars will never fully heal
But I can stop counting them
Every morning
And night
I can let them close
And sleep tight
I can remember you
In some kind of light
That isn't hatred
Or pain
Holding onto this necklace
Has no gain
Just shards
I must throw away
I must clean
The bleeding
Finally
Finally
It's a step
Maybe a small one
Maybe a long one
It took time
But it's a step forward
I can wash the blood soaked stains
I can clear my brain
I can sleep peacefully again
Saying goodbye
This time even on the inside

Goodbye
With real meaning
Goodbye
We are no longer friends
Goodbye
It's been everything
Goodbye
Forever and it's okay
Goodbye
I had a hell of a time

...Goodbye
I'll miss you my friend.
This is the end.

Goodbye Bree, so I can be free

Goodbye for eternity.
I knew
When you said hello
I knew
When you gave me your number
I knew
Ever since I met you
I held back
But I knew
I wanted you

When you asked me out
I said no
I regretted it so
When I went to your house
It felt like new beginnings
My heart grew
For you
Each passing day
Every single thing you would say

The brisk October
You gave me your jacket
I never gave it back
Into the cold Decembers
Seeing me cry
Holding me tight

I knew
When you gave me that shirt
I knew
When you said it wouldn't work
I still knew
When you said we were just friends
I knew
It wasn't pretend

I knew I'd love you till the end
When you said the words
I never imagined
Would come from you
Your lips sang
I can't recall everything
But I'll never forget
Staring at you in shock
Asking me to be yours

I knew
It was forever
And never ever
Going to end
I knew you would always be
My very best friend
My lover
My protection

I knew
For nine crazy months
I knew
When you said we were destined
I knew from the second
You said hello

You forever will be my greatest blessing
❤️
I fought fear
With more fear
I escaped the prison
Just for a new reason
To be afraid

It's been whispering for awhile
But now it's here with a smile
Telling me
Screaming at me
Run away
Run away

There's nowhere to run
I'm out here with a gun
Fighting what appears to be
Nothing at all
But feels as if
It's everyone at once
Ready to pounce

Nobody can feel it
Time moving
Faster and faster
It's like the wind wants me
To escape my body
Run out of my mind
The earth is not kind

It's taken over
By a master plan
I can't understand
But I can feel
The enemy
It's inside me
And everyone else

I want to hide
I want to cry
But to no end
I am going to end
As we all will
I am afraid
I am terrified
I am shaking
And quaking

My family will die
I will die
There's nothing to fight
There's no reason in sight
For this life
It's all pretend
I woke up and saw it end
The illusion
Now it is moving
In fast forward
I can't get a grip
I started to slip

I saw the earth
As the lie she is
I saw the lines
Cross the bridge
It's a false bubble
A false notion
There's nothing I can do
But feel the motion

Of fear and lies
I'll keep crying and hiding
Til I die
Which is coming
Sooner then we all know
50 years
Is now 50 minutes
Blink your eyes
Think with your mind
Time will fly
And then we all
Die
It's been 8 months
Why am I not
  Over
        It
Why is it
   Swallowing
              Me
                   Deep
                          Er?

I fall
    Steeper
The pain
In my chest
I grow
       Weaker
Life looks
      So
          Much

              Füçking
                     BLEAKER

help me
Help me
My distractions
Are
        Gone

Stop
Swallowing
Me
         Whole

I'm an empty bowl
        Drained
                Pained
  Stained

In your blood

My eyes
Our but a
                Flood
                ~~~~~~~~
I drown
And drown
     Drowning
            Drowning
No breathing

I let go
I forget
I
Get
Lost
In my screams
      Agonizing
               Patronizing
            Losing
Loser
Lost
  Gone
          Ghost

You haunt me
     Every *******
   DĀY

      Please

Please please
Please    
          Please
                    please
PLEASE


Go away
Haunting nightmares
Love and friendship
Lies and guts
Demons and monsters
     You are
              Nobody to me

Go away
        Leave my mind
              Clean my heart
   Of your
                  "love"

Whip off the glove
I wear
As you tear

I want it gone
    8 months strong

I want you
Gone
Her gone
All of her
  Bye
Go away
You have no place here

        To stay
Please .....
       ....please
                       ...   Please




    Stay?
The nights were crisp
If I remember right
The lights were bright
As we past each car

The talks were long
As we paused to sing a song
The hellos were beautiful
The goodbyes were soulful
But difficult

The train station in the morning
Running into your arms
The train station at night
Never seemed as bright
Even tho it was always dark
It hurt my heart
To see you go

But I knew it was ok
In every possible way
When I looked up
To see your face
At the gas station
The warm night
If I recall right
I knew
I was so **** sure
It was forever

I've never felt quite right since
I realized I was wrong
That what I saw as forever
Was gone

It was some kind of magic
Or curse maybe
I'm not really sure
But **** it hurts
There's no more pleasure
When I see the car lights
When I'm at a gas station at night
Or a service plaza
The distinct feeling
Of misbeliving
The world around me
A special place
A special face
That held my heart so
In every ******* way

It's gone
There was never magic
It was just life
A facade
A lie
I could never begin to try
And make it right
I held so tight

The snow we fell on
The mischief we got lost in
At a Cleveland concert
Or the side of the road
Walking out of rebellion

The hair dye stuck to my hands
The red that didn't show
But we continued to grow
To purples
And blues
Every new hue
With you

The trips we took
The cars we shook
By accident
You scratched it
And we took off afriad
We've never misbehaved
That was the first
We had many of those

Driving for an hour
To be at olive garden
We saw as a  higher power
For years
We spent there
A special saving grace
Shoving bread to the face

The first time you left
I fell to my knees
Metaphorically
Or maybe physically
I can't recall
I cried for weeks
I quit the job
We shared
It wasn't fair
To anyone

It's never fair
To anyone
Yet you dared
To not care

Never cared
Never
Ever
Dared

The cons we roamed
The gorilla hugs alone
Were memorable
The pictures we took
The way we looked
As we fell and laugh
Over silly words
Humman
Gina
Something as simple
As a typo
Could keep us laughing
For years
I can't remember a single tear

I lie
For many years
..there were
..tears in us
The entire time

As I warned you
Getting into drugs
Ruins lives
You promised
With no sincerity
In those eyes
Dead inside
I knew
I blew
It away
A passing thought
As we danced the night away

Every moment
I write and write
Every feeling
I write I write
It won't leave me
I try to let it be
Let it out
On the paper
It's not poetic anymore
It's not rhyming
It's falling apart
There's no more
No more
No more
I'm losing my words
My talents
For words
For
Anything
I was so **** sure
Then again
It's happened before
Maybe I'm addicted to pain
And I choose to remain
In it
By picking people
I know are cruel
I know will rule
My emotions
And turn me into
A broken

Piece
Of
Hell

I can't tell
What it is
But you were so addictive
Manipulative
Mean
Hurtful
Gone
Unhealthy
Selfish
******* LIAR
Fake
And
Everything I wanted to keep
Just out of reach

So I write
And I write
And I
Well
I don't know

..
I just
    Can't
             Move on
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