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  Jul 11 Hello Daisies
Amanda Hawk
Fingertips linger upon skin
I trace my answers
As if my hands are mouths
Tongues lapping at the salt
The sunrise rests upon you
Layers of pink, orange and yellow
Glisten upon your face
And my gaze
Falls into your eyes
Your name
The horizon upon my tongue
And our love, I devour
Slowly eating with every touch
Hello Daisies Jul 11
Who am I?
When I look in the mirror I don't see me
Unsure what I see
The girl who stole my identity

She uses my name
She walks with my legs
Talks with my voice
I have no choice
But to go along
But she's not me

Not the scared little girl
Not the abused child
The whiny victim
The addicted teen
With low self esteem

She's not the scars on my body
Picked from self loathing
The obsession with being used
And crying in self pity
She's not the disgusting trash
I've come to know so well

When I look in the mirror
I see flesh
I see a girl
I see nothing
Nothing I know
Nothing I hate

I can't identify with her
I don't know her
I know fear and suffering
Darkness and tears
I do not know light
Or joy
maybe emptiness
But the one in the mirror is not me

She's stolen my identity

Do I want it back ?
Been feeling kinda good lately..not something I'm used to..kinda don't know who I am without the sadness?
Don't know myself at all.
Hello Daisies Jun 22
The brisk breeze through your hair
The clouds barely covering the moon
The colors that warm your soul
Autumn has always made me feel whole

I always say the best things happen
When the leaves fall down
I'm at my happiest
When the ghost run around

Just so happens that I found a connection
In my costume gown
You gave me a coat
I slept in it all night
It took away my fright

From that moment on
I felt something special
I enjoyed talking with you
Kinda scared to let it go through

As October passed and winter came
The snow fell down another day
Another true bliss of mine
To be covered in snow that shines

As I played as I smiled
I looked upon the stars
I felt warm inside yet Cold outside
There was your home to keep me alright

I thought maybe it's silly
Silly to believe in  the seasons
Crazy to think the stars have reasons
But I truly did believe in

The hope that they bring me
The warmth of their brisk mornings
And their crisp nights
I knew I'd find something just right

I can't speak the words
But I can write them
And what my pen is trying to say is
I love you, and the warmth you bring me
Is even greater then
The lovely bliss of autumn
Or even the soft hope of winter

Thank you for being
Just like the autumn leaves
And falling for me
❤️
Those in sorrow say,
A broken heart cannot love anymore,
Yet here I am,
With a broken heart,
That still loves you everyday.
Hello Daisies May 16
If you've never been molested
If you think it's no big deal
If you think it's the victims fault
If you think we're just attention seekers

Just know this
I've been dead since I was a child
I can't recall who I was
Or who I ever will be
I can't feel anything
I'm completely empty

I see shadows
Of monsters and demons
I pray to a god I may not believe in
I can't trust anyone
Not even my own family

I block out my memories
Only to bleed through my dreams
I can't breathe if someone touches me
I'm shaking endlessly
I'm unable to love

I can't be loved
It was taken from me
When their hand went into me
I was broken
By a man who got sympathy

Where's my sympathy?
Where's my healing
Where's my it's not your fault
They gave it to him
Let him sin
With a grin
While I'm here
Sinking
Into darkness

I only let monsters hold me
I'm afraid of the light
I'm disgusting and it's always my fault
How everything went wrong

I'm so sorry
That you're disgusting disgrace
Touched my innocent face
Forced me into a shadow
Peeled my skin from me
Shed me into insanity
I looked so cute in my bathing suit huh

And noone ever came
They never stopped it
Always ignored
Always devoured
So please understand
I will never heal
I will never deal
And I will continue to peal
Until my body dies
Along with my soul
Quarentine has my trauma raised up and I have been denying it this entire time but I guess it's really hitting me tonight
  May 11 Hello Daisies
JaxSpade
It's a slow
Slide
Down
The arrow s
Heart

Where your soul pumps blood
Near the knife
she left inside

There's no need for you to cry
For no pain
Can ever take away

Her eyes

And there's no way
To change the blue
To sky

When your world has said goodbye

It's a slow
Slide
Down
The hurt

Sometimes the pain
Is so much

You can't feel at all

You suffer
Yourself

Down the slide
Of the lonely
lost

Deep inside your
Clusterf#!$k

You find..
     your thoughts
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