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Void Apr 2020
...
The taunting flow of crimson
Clouds my judgment
It calls me
And I answer

Will we play this game my whole life?
Will the temptation sink it's teeth into my heart?
I want to be free of this
But the red crimson flow reminds me of who I am

Sick

Twisted

Lonely

And afraid

Of myself?
...
I contemplate the possibility
But I cannot answer

Because I don't know
I'm fine
Void Aug 2020
Vibrant colors...
How unnerving
Black is the only color which holds my heart
Void Jul 2020
If I can't afford
The treatment

Do I really deserve
To get better?
Void Jun 2020
She apologizes
To strangers
When they were in the wrong

She apologizes
For little things in which,
Apologies don't belong

She apologizes
For everything
Assuming she is flawed

I'm just sorry
She can't see past her self-loathing facade
Void Jun 2020
You didn't deserve
What she did to you

All your love was given to her
All she gave you was nothing
And still, you loved her so much

She ruined you
When you were sick,
She neglected you;
Poisoned you

I'm so sorry for the things you went through
The things you'll never know
Dementia enhabited your precious mind
And she took advantage of you
Grandpa, I'm sorry we couldn't help you more

She took everything
She turned you to ash
Against your wishes
And set you aside
Like garbage
We were left, in pain
Living with the carnage

Now, you are returned to us
After two long years
Where you were always meant to be
Now, I pray, your soul can rest

Never let me go
Void Jul 2020
Sinking deeper
Day by day
The thought of living
Weighs heavily today
The lines of crimson
Leave a nasty stain
I can't help but wonder
If I'm truly okay
All these thoughts
Run through my brain
Everything is fine
So why the hell am I feeling this way?
Everything is fine
That's what I always say
I'll get through tonight
If only for a day
Void May 2020
The way I was raised:
You can't think for yourself
You must dress the way I want you to
You must act the way I want you to
You musn't say this
You can never do that


The list goes on...


So here I am

I'm free now



And I still don't know who I am
When I look in the mirror
Void Feb 2021
Falling,
Falling
Down now

No, there's
No hope for
You now

Just as
The fire
Dies down

No, there's
No coming
Back now

Fading,
Fading
Slow now

So long,

Lights out
A very old write
Void Aug 2020
Standing in the crowd
You speak
But no one hears a sound
Void Sep 2020
How can a heart so big be so dark..?
Void Feb 2021
Some wounds
Cut deeper than flesh
And tarnish the soul

Feelings get hurt
Relationships lose their worth
And the actions are haunting

This is the trauma that will last a lifetime
These are the instances which make or break us

Fight or flight
Fight for your life
As your sanity slowly slips through your fingers

Strike a match
To light a candle:
A memorial of your life
Before it went astray
Void Feb 2021
The intricate patterns
Plastered on the wall
So intricate in design
But I've studied it all
The wall is a friend
Of whom I can depend
To console my broken spirits
My mind relaxes
As time passes
And all I do is stare
Nothing seems to matter anymore
As I stare at my wall
As I stare, I start to lose feeling until I feel nothing at all
Void Feb 2021
I don't get why you always hate me
Its driving me insane
The way you always feel the need to berate me
I feel anger I can't contain
So much for friend
So much for family
Those titles to you mean nothing
You're just projecting
And I'm a walking target for you
But I'm used to being treated like ****
I'm tired of this
Void Mar 2021
If I could sleep
And forget everything
If only for a moment
My mind would be at peace

If I could only dream
And escape reality
If only for a while
I'd feel a sense of relief
Void Sep 2020
This pain
In my chest

Aching
Yearning

Just a spark
Of emotion

In a second,
It'll pass

Before it all
Goes black
Void Feb 2021
Sometimes
I want to break
So that I can pull myself together
So that I can rebuild my strength

Sometimes
I want to scream
So that I won't have to
feel a thing

Sometimes
I want to cry
So that I'm reminded I'm still human
But nothing comes although I try

Sometimes
I want to hurt
So that I can forget my pain

But instead
I do nothing
Because sometimes
Doing nothing
Hurts more than anything
Void Aug 2020
My memories are fading
My life is but a petty existence
My mind is foggy
I can't feel a thing
I can't think clearly
I have to be coddled
So I don't accidentally hurt myself
This is just an episode
It will change
I'll be myself
Perhaps tomorrow
But not today
My life continues on in the distance
Like my life is a movie
I feel so empty
I feel so useless
Void Aug 2020
A morsel of hope
That is merely a seed
Is watered by her tears
And blossoms in Spring
It grows and grows
Along with her dreams
It sprouted limbs in form of a tree
It bears the sweetest of fruits of only happiness, it brings
She gets a sugary taste in which the fruit bore
A taste of peace in which she had never known before

As spring turned to winter
The frost killed her tree
The only good thing in her life was now bleak
The branches were bear
And her dreams were not there
But she knew this sorrow would only last for a season
And once the vibrant life of spring returned
She could water another seed with her tears and sorrows
So her happiness could be reborn
Void May 2020
Even when I thought I knew you
You were being fake
Just like everyone else in this world
You were putting on a face

The charade is over
And the mask comes off
Revealing a face so putrid
And covered in rot
Void Sep 2020
Just a shred of hope
For the hopeless
Is plenty need for existance
Void Jul 2020
He devoted his whole life
To people he called his friends... his family

He spent his time
His energy
His loving care
To listen and offer guidance

His family
Was perfect
From the outside,
Looking in

But no one ever
Gave a thought
To the pain that he was in

Through all of his struggles
He stood strong
The years had been ******* him for far too long
And he bore his burdens alone, time after time

Not a single friend
To confide

Not a single kin
To offer him wisdom

They were there
But they never cared
As they were always complaining selfishly
Of their petty qualms
To which he listened
Selflessly

It's not that he didn't try
To seek refuge in them
They were too consumed
Basking in their own greed

To hear

His

Cries

For

Help...




They never could see
How broken he was
Until it was too late

They should have
listened...

They should have
cared...

But they simply had no time to spare
This is not necessarily a true story, but simply a warning to care for others as they care for you. Repeated kindness is rarely returned. Be aware. This happens more often than the average person realizes.
Void Aug 2020
Being Kind

Being Assertive

Being Harsh

There are fine lines

When you're kind, you get used- abused

When you're assertive
You're an *******

When you're harsh
It pushes others away

But no matter what you are...
No one ever wants you in their lives
So now what?
Void May 2020
The pressure is bearing down on your body
As you crumble beneath the weight
There is only so much you can take
But it doesn't have to be this way
Void Jun 2020
He sees the world without color
Without value, merit or honor
His heart was left behind as a child
Only through lies is he able to smile
For his future, he never had a plan
He never planned to live long enough for a future
His life, he felt
Was so empty
That he wasn't truly living
He sees the world without color
Without hope, nor a purpose
Still, he marches forward
Though he is merely an empty husk
Void Aug 2020
Every person she meets, she thinks they're fake.
They will only talk with her until it becomes a chore. They pretend to care, but then they treat her like an enemy.

She doubts her self worth
...
Her existence

She wonders if it is her fault that they treat her like garbage

Every person she meets
Void Mar 2021
His dampened existence, so dreary and bleak
Was met with the warmth of her smile of which nothing can compete
He was like the rain, his pain surged like thunder
But her touch lingered tranquility- as the sun showed its face
His existence was as black as the night; silent and dark in the mind
Her light shone through to open his eyes
He now understood just why the moon needed the sun
Void Jul 2020
She taught me
To be a spark of color
In a world of black and white

She taught me
To express myself
And quit hiding who I am

She taught me
Of my worth
Both inside and out

She taught me
These lessons to carry
After she'd passed

She taught me
The lessons that would
Some day save my life
Void Apr 2020
Hello,

I am Void
My existence is unknown

These words you are hearing are unspoken whispers
You will not answer
You will not notice

For, I do not exist
Not in your corner of reality

I am far off
Like a star hung in the night
You will not see me when I die

I am Void
I am the dark nothingness which you created
I am the emptiness you gave me
And you will not see me when I die

For, you have never seen me at all
Hello. My name is Void.
Void Mar 2021
I can't find the words today...
If I speak, no one will believe me
They never did, anyways
So I put my heart on display
But my mind is slipping
My soul is aching
And I just want them to listen to me
I want somebody to believe me
Just because my condition isn't physical, doesn't mean it isn't real
Mental illness infects the mind and body
Some people are too ignorant to understand
Void Sep 2020
It terrifies me
Knowing that people
Like you
Exist in this world
Void Mar 2021
The ground crumbles beneath my feet
Slowly chipping away at the foundation where I stand
There is nowhere left to go
I am stuck here on my own
You brought me to this place, void of life
Everyone, in the end is gone and I am left to fall all alone
Everyone that I loved
Every moment we shared is gone
Void Aug 2020
So many questions running through my head
Is it worth it?
Will they notice?
Why don't they care?
Nothing ever makes sense
My questions are never answered, and I am left more confused than ever
Void Mar 2021
Nothing ever works out
I am always sold out
There's nothing like
Having no one believing a word I say
Its not like I lie
It just happens this way
I feel framed for something that never even happened
Maybe I'm delusional
I promise this usual
A typical day for me
I just grow tired of no one believing me
Its funny cause I never lie
All I ever do is try to make people understand
I guess they'll never know who I am
Void Sep 2020
He's taken his time
Wasted his life
For three years
He kept running away
He ran every time

The past is catching up
And he can't run fast enough
So he falls into a pit
And he struggles to get up
Void Aug 2020
What if it were all down to a moment
What thoughts would remind you of me?
Would it be my talent?
Would it be love?
Would it be pain?
Childhood?
Regrets?
Mistakes?
Romance?

I've always been so invisible, I wonder what others cherish in me
The words left unspoken
The stories untold
I wish I could know what thoughts would provoke
Void Jun 2020
Sometimes
the pain

Just isn't worth
the struggle....
Void Jul 2020
Their lies are woven so intricately into their words, it's almost beautiful.
I nearly have to take a step back to appreciate their efforts.
But then I remember that these lies are all they speak; always making promises they can't keep.
Even the smiles on their faces are weak.
Void Sep 2020
It doesn't lie in simple words
It doesn't hide in the promises
It resides in the fine print.
The details in the context
When actions speak in your stead
Its the effort that makes things right in the end
Void Apr 2021
Debilitating
When the mind cripples the body
Infuriating
When your youth fades day by day
Hurting
When trust is broken because no one believes you
Yearning
To just get out of bed, while they think you're lazy
Praying
Your pain could go away
Begging
To live a normal life

Its very real
When the mind is so sick, it affects your physical being
Void Feb 2022
If only they could see the dreams that I see
Maybe they'd support me
I'm writing a book
A concept from 2016
Its a beautiful story
Yet my family and friends are not there for me
Its disheartening to be so passionate about something and feel like it is all for not
That is the curse of a dreamer
That is the curse of a leader
As my dream begins to fade, I won't give in under the pressure this time
This book, I've invested too much time into
This book to me is perfect
I just have to help them see that it's worth it
Void Aug 2020
When you're weak
I'll be the foundation beneath your feet

When you feel alone
I'll be by your side from morning until night

When you are hurting
I'll be the one to take your pain all away

Just say the word, and I'll rescue you from all you've been evading

When no one listens
I'll be there, I'll hear your voice. I'll always be there

Lean on me, in my arms
I'll keep you safe from all harm
Void Mar 2021
Do you ever feel guilty when you walk all over people?

Do you ever feel ashamed when you lie?

Do you ever think that maybe you should care about your child?

Or does everything always have to revolve around you?

Do you ever get tired of manipulating others?

Do you fall asleep with a satisfied grin?

Tell me, what's it like to be you?
Void Nov 2020
No one
Will understand
That when they complain to me
I don't tell them of my burdens so that I can
listen

No one
Will understand
That when I offer advice
to them
All I want is for them to listen to me, too
Void Feb 2021
My chest aches today
An overwhelming feeling that I get
I just want to feel pain to help me forget
As if feeling physical pain
Would get rid of the way I hurt so badly inside
Void Sep 2020
These four walls
Are my cage
And I just waste away in eerie silence
The days run together
Somehow, days don't even matter
And I wait to see the sun again
Void Jun 2020
You've been through it all before
The promises
The good intentions
The disappointment

You've got it down to a science
And can predict each step
You've forgiven your entire life

When will you have no forgiveness left?
Void Mar 2021
All this hate, and the regret
Even the anger and torment
All of these feelings I don't get, because I bury them deep inside

All of the times
I should have lashed out
All of the pain and tears have dried out
All of these feelings I don't get, they haunt me

While all of this time-
On the inside
I'm screaming
To be let out
Sin
Void Jul 2020
Sin
You do not know
Who I am

I occupy the black spaces in your mind
You hear me all the time
I am not tangible
I'm invisible
Untraceable

Deeply rooted in the fabric of your being
With out me, your life would have no meaning
Although you don't notice me, you know that you need me

You can't expel me
Because you'll never find me

You'll never feel lonely
As I haunt you daily

I inhabit the dark spaces in your mind
I am with you all the time
Void Aug 2020
Time heals all wounds
Yet the scars still remain
A smile is plastered on your face
Yet your eyes are vacant with pain

They tell you to move on
That your feelings are aged and invalid
"You're always happy; you're not depressed"
Their words portray their ignorance
And still, you never rest

Time heals all wounds
So... you must be okay
Void Jul 2020
The stars

In her eyes


Make me

Feel alive


She is the day

And I am the night

And when we

Both collide;


She fills the void

In my chest


With her

Illuminating light
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