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Now, believe your gut,
your heart will negotiate,
your mind will delude.
the first feel tends to be the right feel; when it comes to the subject of trust.
Mar 2023 · 109
In every silent test I set them up for failure
In every tally taken a bit of what Could be is lost

Robbing a flower of the sky's warm smile then blaming it for not knowing when to bare fruit
Stealing the eb an flow of the rivers that connect you only to show disgust at the rot and stagnation

Because of the pedestal I raised so high obelisks bow at it's legs I have had to fell you like the monuments dedicated to The vilified dead.
The army of ideal thoughts that had been at your beckon call now fuel the fires that burn the villages of our memories instead

I wish to forgive but I crave for your remorse
I trusted you but now I trust you to be you no need for my retorts.
Falling apart
Mar 2023 · 1.7k
After the fact. Haiku
thought I was better...
clearly not. I am Tender
Scabs scraped off by time
Haiku on healing and realizing poorly made stitches rip at the slightest tug
Mar 2023 · 806
Creature of De-nile
Haven't even shed Crocodile tears
Calloused feet and scaled back,
the tear and wear.

Biting wildly and deeply into what feeds me
That desperation is the toll it has me in a death roll
This whirlwind of drip grit and flames; while spinning in the mud I can have no shame.

My pride deluded me to think of myself as an ancient king of lakes and streams.
Watering holes or beachfront property
On a sunny day, my kind knows harmony
We only know war At the movement of opportunity.
A Petty precarious peace treaty:
Survival of the fitness; closed mouths don't get fed
Survival instinct; if you don't eat you'll be the one who loses an arm and a leg

How can I even shed Crocodile tears
When I've become the dread
Adapting or remembering. Was it the blood in my veins or the blood that's washed These eyes.
Feb 2023 · 866
The garden
As the rain falls gilded Hearts are tempered. They fell together but crashed apart
Soft nothings out of reach to pamper
The drops fed my hunger but never filled my heart. That's a lie told by anger the last line.
The waters yielded flowers beautiful but weak to time
Though they bare fruit and seeds without roots it can never last as do trees
We are the soil for our love and enjoyment
We are the plow of our perseverance and faith
We are our beasts of burden and sacrifice
Written in a stupor
Good with, good without;
If not good with do without.

You be good with you
The title is the closing line to make it a haiku
Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked
A haiku about Esteem, trauma and self sabotage
May 2022 · 630
Keep the sun in your heart,
The moon in Your mind
and so you may see far,
the stars in your eyes
A mantra and prayer
Oct 2021 · 460
Give to keep/ haiku
To Touch the heavens
must burn your solid foundation
Rocket to the stars.
You can take but you must give to keep
Oct 2021 · 1.3k
Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked
A haiku about Esteem, trauma and self sabotage
Aug 2021 · 1.0k
Eyes deep and dark as if linked to the primordial abyss,
It was if you could see further than the blank faces of truths and lies
It was as if  you could clearly see what is and what is not, for you.

I see you.

Voice commanding attention like the horns of heavens army and as soothing as their zithers, your lips it's succulent strings.
How do you move so free fluid in design how you choose to love is invasive with no lines

So let me in

Skin smooth as molasses and ravagingly rich in flavor,  I would imagine, on my tongue.
Body as bountiful as the late harvest, your delicacies just as sweet
when your legs part  blessings flowing, falling miracles, from my chin to my feet;
ceremony, a Thanks giving for this decadent feast.

Get on the table

I crave your assortments curled up, laid down, bent over with all the sides
Greedy for the textures and scent like honey bees are magnolia.
Abundant as Gaia so I'll touch every corner like the sky,
the heat of our sol is ever high; in the still of the night I wish to bask in your moons light while I rise and conduct your tides.

Good times are savored not kept

A self, if I don't help , watering flower blooming how and when ever it sees fit.
Passion like the sun, radiant and all illuminating; like the moon on a still pond, while you seem grounded your true home is in the sky amongs the stars.
A mix of adoration and *******
Now I tend to laugh at the pity parties I throw.
Its the same old routine,  the same old show.
I whine and I moan
from tenor key to baritone
The curtains close, I stand and applaud but I do not go.
Gotta stop inviting myself to these pity parties
Aug 2021 · 553
My Buoy mantra
What I can't regain
I will create a new, just,
Need to see it through
Push for you
Jun 2021 · 496
My love for you was as broad as the horizon
My pain came in waves
My tears flowed like flooded rivers from a days rain
My heart and mind shake like leaves
at the thought of not rooting and branching out with you.
My spirit wants to be freed, not bound to the lies  you say true.
You're still not shy to say you love me sadly you've made me doubt, you working games but slack when it counts.
Testing times for young relationships
Jun 2021 · 500
Mic check/ calm down
1-2-1-2-When you have pollen allergies,
Your first reaction when you sneeze isn't to chop down all the trees;
it's to move out of the breeze,
you see.
A mental mic check for when you feel like burning the Forrest
May 2021 · 1.1k
Tempered mantra/haiku
I choose detachment;
Excitement brings more distress,
It never brings peace.
Excitement is agitation and agitation leads to desperation which leads to bad outcomes.
Excitement is born from expectations and expectations assure disappointment.
Apr 2021 · 470
Fickle haiku
Sad to see it go
The way you don't want it to.
We stay on the go.
Anything worth it is limited
Jul 2020 · 830
Bon voyage/ Ubuntu
Falling like leaves off a rotten tree.
Husks of fruits and seeds; the ripen and those who will not complete their deeds.
Not bound by cold decrees, nor lifted by the warm breeze. Travelers who've reached the destination, faces lost to me.

We shared a way; hearts filling veins and soles stepping on lanes, dreams kept us sane, how things change; even in stagnation it's impossible for everything to stay the same. We were many now left with few, the numbers keep rising; those who now enjoy a view.

Never been one to believe in haven or hell,
I can feel that which separates us is but a vail. They, as the sea, are unbound free; as there are desert coasts one can know drought before they decide to float. Ships sailing on the horizon; they look like they would tip the moment the sky sings, I did not see the strike but the thunder now rings.

I look for understanding not pity because ,you see, if life is like a movie my future plot now has deleted scenes because one can not simply recast anything, especially, when the actors character was the key. If Ndingumntu I'm now missing more parts of me.
Ndingumntu: I am ( a person)
Ubuntu: umntu ngumntu ngabantu/I am because we are. It's a Nguni proverb which shows the sentiment of humanity and empathy innate to all people since we can now exist exclusively from those who are part of us. "I am what I am because of who we all are."

This is a lamentation for those I have lost recently to suicide, sickness and age
This is a spiritual for those who's chests are too tight to breath, whose blood is caked on the streets, pain too common to be seen, their skin too dark to dream, minds too beautiful to be freed loved ones left to float down the stream burnt or hung like tobacco leaves,
Smoking us is their addiction love Nig-ga-teen but want to disregard the afflictions, want to take in our chemistry but disregard the chronic inequalities.
this is a spiritual for this who bleed, feel or look like me... when,
when will we be free, the children of the soil I hear their  voices on the breeze songs of sadness, fear, rage, love but very little of peace. No more knees to take, We have no more cheeks to turn. No justice but we must know peace
until we know justice there will be No peace.
I'm tired of being tired
May 2020 · 303
It's all behind us now(10w)
May 2020 · 166
I want to be free
The strings spun a hard to see
But cut they shall be
Apr 2020 · 238
Haiku 10w
I: a paradox
Find peace in delirium
Grateful for the skill
A sleep deprivation induced  euphoria
Apr 2020 · 182
Ororo in jozi
I hear the raindrops tumbling, in the clouds, on the breeze.
The moon's light peeks through the veiled night sky.
The first drops Kiss me so gently, but I know a storm is on her way
The crickets chirp mimic the sound of her shoes.
How it tiptoes into my space, the rustling leaves sway like a dress.
It pulls back almost as if aware of my observational gaze.
Then there's movement, the flow irresistible.
If her fringes invoke such beauty one could only imagine her eyes.

What kinda peace could a king find in the face of such unbridled grace.
Her pours allow the dark to share in the bright, bearing pits of light above most.
Her torrents clear the sediment of comfort and sweep the drought away,
Her showers clear the spirits of her subjects and boon us bounty,
Her voice crisp as lightning and clear as thunder shake the heavens when heard.

She can blitz the land or coast on the air
Raising up our tears only to let hers fall  
So I know Ororos love touches us all
Storms come and go but they are, were and will be here again.
Sep 2019 · 262
Doomsday Clock/Watchmen
It's not that I'm silent I'm, rather,
lost for words
Because this series of events are the worst I've heard,
In a minute.

this is more than simply "under the weather" because this is a divine tragedy.
A story ,of the battles, of vassals,  retainers and traitors;
heavens tribulations and its resounding failures.
Shocked; What took days, now hours.

The pettiest wrath is one born from wanting, fraudulent men exhibiting the worst of fruedian plans
and add a Hate:
born from nations divided, in ways outsiders decided: for the pay;
to make use of the weak till this day,

I can't comprehend this.
It's like the collective consciousness has taken cyanid the: matricide, fratricide, parricide and pedicide; is this an attempt of suicide?
Can't imagine terras eyes, Being terrorized by the homies side
blighting it's own kin, queens and this King's pride.

Is this blaze worth it's years to come when you burn away the blood that flows through us all and purge the graces we won,blessed with a unity, cursed by sub division, the delusions they built dictate how we liv'in.

I can't lie, at times like these I can only try an fly
forced to contemplate the irreconcilable and the priceless how can I evaluate the hate when I know it's love that elevates, so...
how can I;
I'm on the hated and hatful side, oh my what a time, what a time, to be alive.
There's a lot going on in South Africa and I've been shocked out of my wits to say the least. Can only hope for the best...
Aug 2019 · 343
I :living a dream...vibrant, abundant and ,just, as immaterial.
Feb 2019 · 305
It's decided
Today I decided you would be:
just a memory.
Not a dream I will see, whenever I look forward.
Not a regret that haunts me, when I look back,
Simply a memory;
not a weight to be shouldered.
I have picked up the pieces; I'm overall intact.
carry on luggage: one I'll, soon, unpack.
Letting go of an unesssary situaion
Jan 2019 · 439
Rain, rain, don't go away;  haven't been promised another day.
Wisdom with age
Jan 2019 · 1.3k
Self serving
‪petty and selfish,‬
‪The path to peace, no recourse.‬
‪I have no remorse.‬
I'm aware it's a petty precarious peace... but peace none the less especially when she stays out of reach.
Dec 2018 · 289
Why stay: absentee?
Why return; to leave again?
Keep the peace: away.
Dec 2018 · 515
I play with the switch‬
‪turns the light on and off‬,
‪The shine; my soul‬
A weeds confidence.
A heart; strong as a boulder
mind clear like a stream
I make myself so happy for no reason then stick my own back,
melancholic acts of treason, cut and measure my own lesions;
a line between pleasure and pleasing.
Not an pessimist nor a type of optimist but a realist who has mastered the execution of delusion and illusion.
Oxymoronic, Guess I'm just human;

Apparently the semblance of a god,
so making something from nothing isn't odd,
but I was given everything from a soul to my bones, hair to my toes;
Even to me who stays in this, sinew and ivory, home the reason is unknown but I know the weight of this form has its toll.

Ties made are rarly cut
more than the material is used,
bonds spirt imbued,
that which feeds hate and love.
My soul is the ocean my form the soil my mind the heavens so it's wisdom guides the toil.
What I put on to my body will seep to the sea, be it poisons or ointments that is to be seen, my wish for foresight seems obscene,
a noxious tint colors the scene
Ah this is but a show, how else can I explain the tragedies sown.

Who wrote this play?
Who paid its commission,
who conscripted us to suffer, no need for permission, no fine print played off as a simple omission?
Actors with no access to backstage
so it is do or die,
freedom in a cage,
the 4th wall blocks our eyes.
we get no reactions for our performance
no real feedback,
so we face our troupe like opponents, for no real reason.
Whilst some seem to flourish in a limelight others perish in darkness
some disappear through trap doors others fly with out harness.

seasoned thespians sometimes show us a way; how to perform our parts, from when they entered the play.
We are told there is a script, so I would say some have forgotten thier lines
but honestly the script has never passed these eyes,
all I know is that somes voices are drowned out by the soundtracks of anxiety and sadness;
The polyrhythms of fear and deafening sound of loneliness and madness
How could the director have this?

That's the purpose of a tragedy; make the watcher feel like they are living lavishly.

Wanted a reason why I find it so tragic.

In the words of Life 'There, you have it.'
Slam tracscribed. I've been reading some tragedies and re-realized that fact can be truly worse than fiction
Oct 2018 · 519
Calling Sol and loving Luna
Sol oh paniter of visions, curator of those under your light. Your passion is easily confused with fury and your momentary absences are known to be a time of danger and chaos
Basting the blessed and decimateing the ******,a infernal bliss.
General of the soil, those born from it follow your call under you they toil. maestro of the bloom and birds their harmonious notes in the air ,smelled and heard, from the plains to the berg but at the coast is when that celestial sovereignty ends.

Enters,a vision, Oh Luna; soft yellow dipped and dyed in the honeied hues of the horizon or a radiant alabaster, stark and chilled. cut from the heavens, apart of the city resting on that which scratches the sky but only visitors in the sights, you Nobly looking over. Teach me as you are, not as they say ,cold but ever observing seen every day.
You the Choreographer of the waves they dance by your direction, beautifully and brutishly birthing rainbows from their violate bombardments, for the birth of Brilliant ideas they have been the midwife.we lose and find ourselves in your teachings

Raising higher as you we age, as one should, on the path of the sage.
Stayed by the sea for a few days and got to know sun and moon a little better
Sep 2018 · 305
Time flies, you are lost.‬
Time flies when you are driven.‬
Time flies, regardless‬.
Life goes on
Aug 2018 · 406
Time is _____//the trust
Old debts have been paid
Love has subsidized the pain.
Heart; open for trade.
An affirmation and a plan
Aug 2018 · 2.7k
A student of the crowded breeze.
On a whim Raise like the dandelions' seed,
Vibrantly dissent like, in fall, trees' leaves.
An apostle of purpose beyond what one sees for the unknown is nothing and possibility.

Our lessons are on the topic of practical whimsy, in their way; the wind that cools your face also fans a flame and guides the rain.
The Sensei go by many names, I know them from the roles they play:

Boreas shepherds my turmoil,
A tempest;
senseless, cold and violent as if without vision only vengeance.

Notus shows my passion;
A gust to an ember on dry land,
Unreasonable, unpredictable and destructive without a plan.

Zephyr entices my love;
A subtle intimate current for dance,
The beauty of birds and bees flying from flower to flower and branch to branch.

Eurus reflects my way;
A flurry that moves the sand.
The removal of sediment,
the return to foundation born from action mixed with patience.

They can only guide me
I can ride the winds of the odyssey or resign to the winds of dreams
but I know
I Am
A student of the breeze.
Boreas- the north wind in Greek mythology associated with the storms
zephyr- the west wind associated with spring
Notus- the south wind associated with crop destruction (end of autumn)
Eurus-the east wind the associated with opposing Noctus and autum bounty

looking for a new muse to learn new things about myself through someone true to themselves
Aug 2018 · 958
Interim (to?) peace
This is a new page.
Empty;Deep Love and woes fill;
The former is me?
Fresh start same games but different play that is the sentiment don't want to say anymore
A love that will rip it's self apart if not told whats enough,
end up doing too much but better that then us losing touch. I believed but now
I know, I hoped to bare the weather, prideful, no idea what was is tow: rain,sleep and snow.

A love that was free, turned selfish, my minds on you and I can't help it.
Inhliziyo I have no faith but patience and loyalty so your silence can only annoy me; but when you tell me what's good I make you laugh like a jester and I treat you like royalty.

Funny because now I was feeling like booboo the fool. I need rest, You Just look on when
I sing my song are you deaf-


wait This can't be true.
This can't be you

-No wait-

this isn't me, been blaming you a lot recently. we haven't been on the same frequency, We're  always up and down, that's a sine.
I need to disconnect and clear my mind.
haven't had time to meditate, now that's a lie.
I always meditate when I'm silent, write or rhyme.

I do this a lot, darkened visions from the burns and cuts I got, know your not one but I've taken a hit more than once,it wasn't fun, but It had to be done.
You are worth it, a crown but I can't make it right now.
I want to grow with you; Like a tree bares fruits not only flowers, fickle,it looks beautiful, only, in daylight hours.

Let me be wise so I can handle instability,
I learn more about myself for my own sanity.
I had let my light dim not dealing with every thing that life brings.
I had a love for you that was starving because I wasn't truly loving my self enough, that was toxic like lead but now I'm clutch.

No need to write in a rush, but know
I'm sending love
Had time to think whilst not distracting myself with her glow whilst we grow(up). Planning on making this a song
The title is a play on the  words it can be read as :decent love as in the ideal Of Love, dissent Love as in toxic relationship hurting each other over misunderstandings in my case Or the sent  love meaning me reaching out

In my 'trip' series
May 2018 · 430
Haiku 30/05/18
My timing is bad,
Like a death of a loved one
Seems selfish, a far.
Suspend your disbelief but when emotions are high foresight is low. Revealing my pain to release my chest. Never belligerent
A halo's weight: Heavy.
Unbearably bright, blinding.
Power is a Lens.
Standing in piety. Power is just a lens augmenting what we see and how we see. Think of the relationship between celebrities and thier fans
May 2018 · 967
Passions of the chosen*
Behold my face, so serene, I'm every part of the scene;
the crucified, the prosecutor as well the chorus.
When I breath my chests cage shows gaps ,the focus.
Here you are again my parade of pestilence my imbalanced state showing as ailments.
My sides tearing, stress penetrating my skin. Tragic,
Oh how the spear of reproach entangles and dives deep,
Piercing my belly and lets it noxious poison seep.

I beg 'No please do not twist', he then spoke of my dying dreams and loses to the soul.
The knots bind my thought and any move in conciseness has it toll.
The darkness strives for my sight but he knows how to not give it room.
The poisoned tip barley nearly missed my heart , I thought it the end, I relaxed too soon.
The tincture of doubt burns my open sensitive soft non-flesh.
Am I not one of the blessed, where is my place of rest?

The jury spectate from its pedestal, good for nothin but blaming.
His aim was never my life only that which makes it worth living.
His aim was the spark, my soul, the light at the end of the tunnel showing it all, so you don't stay down when you fall.

The earth knows me from My hands, feet and knees.
I rarely pray only spoke if it preceded an action, I fell a lot you see.
Now I walk with caution but my legs can barely take the weight.
My breathing and steps were heavy. you wouldn't have know my pain by my face
This has been my truth I believed it fate.
Early I realized wherever I sat was a throne.
Hubris led me to take on the woes and faults of the world as if they were my own.

The jury clamor great hollow truths, to lessen the sentences existence.
As much as they are valid and grand I see them only as excuses
"You will pain those who you love and love you"
"You will forsake the hopes and dreams in your view"
"You are good, only want the best for everyone "
Was it that ambiguity that lead to my current "wrong"
Seems if you aim to give others happiness you will never win
I know this but I still hurt: it's all starts and ends within.

Woe is me
Been on the darker end of melancholy, A discription of my anxiety/depression attacks recently
Just another lonely bright Dazzled night in the diamond city of the land of gold.
The seasons change feels like a lamentation the autumn wind has never been so cold.


Thought these metro lights blinding but I still see your name next to the moon in the stars.
The city's fluxed and curved silhouette,
Spectacular. happy to look, haven't seen you on these streets without occasion like a vintage car.


I wonder, Were we moving too fast was it the pressure?
our chemistry had me at my triple point; fluid at times, solid for a minute but heated when we're livid. Aroma like therapy that's why I'm with Mary more, now that you're not near me.


Used to be nothing but a product of jozi. a chubby hot boy plus everybody knows me. Well only my role, never my name Ilie man all ways had dat more fiha that's  what I was told. Not innocent but I have a bright soul.


It was easier when I was apathetic, I could fake smile, greet enemies like "sho, Fede". the me of yesteryear would snark at my weakness now, but my sight has changed lately.


Realize the higher I go the more balance I need, yes, these changes involve you but they are all on me.
A spoken word ment for a performance that never happened due to changes which is ironic. did most of it riding through Sandton . Includes a few South African/Rastafarian slang words such as
Jozi-short name for Johannesburg, South Africa
Ilie man- a man who is sacred/blessed/sanctified
Fiha- good marijuana
Sho, Fede- greetings (my)guy
Hot boy- a young illicit substances distributer

The Train of thought has a direction and many stops, when you're melancholy, but you Learn something at every stop along the line.
Each stanza has a sporadic rhyme scheme to show the sporadic nature of thought
They slumber in their stubbornness, they, alone

They have seen their brethren and extensions lost to the ebenflow

All that is left of themselves is what has not been lost or given.

They have shielded the meek since they left, the safety of the waters, to the bountiful yet perilous shores and banks.

A foot hold for the scenery and possibilities a fort against the storms and heavens tribulations.

Shadows cast, air guided

To be left, alone, I have to leave all I've known or Is known.
I think me a star when I'm only dust.

I try sympathize and synchroniz not knowing I is the disconnect.

I wake in their home surrounded in my stubbornness now they think me my own.

Dust for the young monoliths to grow.
I was in a valley/ canyon in Mpumalanga the air was clear and a storm was a day away.
Medicated and meditated these are some words I remember
Written In a way the stanzas look like peaks in a range.
Mar 2018 · 352
Empty space
When facing escape
A Door leading out, one fears.
Nothing you have known.
The devil you know right ?
All I hear is you are comfortable in hell/naraka when the void(possibility) is a step away. Do not fear change for its existence, like death, it's an inevitable and necessary function. Read the italics and know a truth
Mar 2018 · 502
Why are you searching
Do you truly want to know?
So not to miss out?
My generation and social media
Do you want to be better than yourself or the best ?
Do you want to know your strengths or their weaknesses ?
Learning beautiful words not to adorn but exploit
Mar 2018 · 454
Phoenixes tears fall
Burn, Like fire from the rain
Power in weakness
It is said it's tears can heal all ailments physical and ,most importantly emotional
Mar 2018 · 437
You-in-verse/ draft letter
Eyes deep and dark as if linked to the primordial abyss,
It was as if " " could see further than the blank faces of truths and lies
It was as if " " could clearly see what is and what is not.

Voice commanding attention like the horns of heavens army and as soothing as it's zithers, " " lips its succulent strings.
Body as bountiful as the late harvest " " delicacies just as sweet miracles when " " legs part blessing falling from my chin to my feet,ceremony a Thanks giving for this decadent feast.

A self, if I don't help , watering flower blooming how and when ever it sees fit.
Passion like the sun, radiant and all illuminating but tempered by a mind like the moon on a still pond, while it seems grounded it's true home is in the sky amongst the stars.
It's a draft of a letter
Feb 2018 · 292
What are we truly,
Specs of celestial dust.
Kin to sun and stone.
What really matters isn't material, most of the time
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
Spoken: What is heard
The adornment, gospel truths the pious believers of your personal faith. The Heresy, the voice of those you’ve ******
Spoken: That which can not be taken back
Your frivolous certainties had no hold but now frame our reality because they are always in the peripheral only seeing what it allows you
Spoken: half truths
The victimized, the wronged, the offended just to validate unscrupulous act to those who have wronged you.
Spoken: White lies
The coddling which breeds an ignorance for the knowledge of decorum, decorations and vails to hid behind
Spoken: That which the universe asserts
That which the universe listens to, vibrations that it assimilates making it part of the whole without losing its agenda
Spoken words hold power far beyond communication
Nov 2017 · 303
A bow too tightly strung, now shaking, because of a notch and arrow moans like the creeks of wood; quiver as I use your quiver. now release
Bisexual poem
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