With every cigarette
In every smoke
I sacrifice a day of my lifetime
by laughter and inertia...
I feel the hurt in my stomach
and the toxication in my blood
which help my nerves be kept awake
and this awareness
takes me to hysterias...
At any grief and frustration
with my heart towards none, I keep going on
Why just to suddenly vanish or pass away, tell me?
At every moment
I will get revenge and laugh at the bottomless void
that it echoed through the universe
and reached the stuffed ears of the cavalier god...
As I fight with him,
In return, he is joking with me,
Trying even sometimes to ingenuously ease me:
'Maybe to love the creator
because of his creature?!'
Oh, my Nothingness!
Yet he believes
that he is the only one
who can create and is worthy of being loved.
His jealousy leads me to cachinnation,
I get into the storm of contemplation
and I reply to him:
'Yes, deserve I and my beloved
to be loved,
deserve we to be begrudged!
But you deserve your **** which you have created
Where you console your own despair, god!
The funny farm covered with rancorous flames
and suffocating mist,
I know you well, even better than yourself!
You are the supreme sufferer,
You are the first nihilist!'
Do I have to apologize?
As I despise your creator
Right in front of you, my dear?!
I cannot just bear
his apparent plight
before the power of a mightier notion
Sorry for my intense emotion
I am really sorry for being right...
Now I am at the peak of might
You can confidently hold on me
and come together
whenever you want.
Let's create the template of sereneness,
Let me give a feast for my deepest bliss,
My bliss - that you exist!
I will propose
a toast by the grace of you
and inscribe on my retinas
the beautiful face of you
to get the reflections flowing from your elegance...
Let me ennoble you...
I began to love this rampant negligence
As it helps me to fly and smile forever.
Unlike your jealous and vengeful creator,
magnanimous is my Lord - my void!
A piece of pure and deeper happiness I have found
And The Lord generously presented it to me
- even in nothingness yet I have you,
I hold you
on the heights of despair,
in the deepest site of my disordered existence,
even the distances between us
increase my resistance
as it is the distance of yours.
Anyway, I will accept,
Give me even a disaster,
Give me even a pain about you
Mad I am...
By all means,
very deeply mad, insane about you.