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James R Jun 9
hiding behind false bravado
and an epoch of shame
twists uncertainty,
anger, and stubbornness.
this wasn't going to be a long
one but it was there to say hello.
Elizz May 26
Out doors
Forboden shored
Pacific mist

Graceful fits

Exhale
Inhale
Deflate
Inflate

Entwined intellects
Heart of spades
Hollowed haze

Can't find the end of this maze
Cryptic graves
O forgotten staves

Twirled canes
lawless days
Forgotten Czars

Cross scattered scars
Everything, is fine,
it is. Fine,
If I have that again, it will, make me sick
It will always get stuck in my throat,
I would choke. Sick,
that I don't need, Don't eat.
leave it out? Totally.
Someone might see,
know, help, me? Getting worse.
Help myself. Normality,
keeping things usual. Work.
Pull myself together? get over it, don't be silly:
That's not helpful,
don’t say anything.
What's happening? I've never passed out before.
You in my head will you explain
What to do, yes you; I'm losing,
help me?
see things I'm missing. Ignore.
Remember being sick ? I don't want that, leave,
I Need food to keep the same.
Not. Change.
Food others have makes me feel unwell. Don't eat.
I. Tremble, consider, stare, UNABLE TO EAT MEALS,
Eat: with everyone, sit, quiet, be slow,
as much as possible, I will leave.
At least I tried. To observing eyes. I did well?
Touch leave, take leave tremble, later, maybe. No.
Don't want to, yet: need to think,
what I'm going to have? where I'm going to eat?
you can tell me, yes, no.? Safe food list, alters,
becomes not safe. It has changed, different cold.
Leave it. If it's not the same, colour, shape, smell,
not safe, Wait. It's on the list. Avoid it, the date is old,
milkshake
best.
In therapy, I speak, I listen, you unravel.
Best?
help me? keep to timetable? Its achievable.
What has really happened.?
Avoid? Try? Listen. Try, try
Is it fine?,  me  trying, still worried, concerned.

Not what you thought
(ARFID)  Michael C Crowder  September 2018
Words and observations of a two year continuing battle happening to someone I love very much
It took a long time to get a correct diagnosis, most people suspected Anorexia which is so different from ARFID.
Through voracious eyes devotees, peruse writings, clever literature all styled to thoughtful poetic ways
eloquently, exposing wounds of body and soul, discovered distrust, anger much regret, sadly even fear,
thereto shortcomings in life, of people, their actions, loves and lies promulgated in illuminating phrase.
Technology endows contributors with outlets for venting suchlike occasions using artistry is here.

Passionate poignant experiences most well written, some not are duly shared to attracted communal eyes.
declarations of 'I have cared so much I'm wounded mortally', some bask in lost or unrequited loves last kiss,
several employ inner strength 'whatever happened, I don't care, I'm resilient, I survive', shared with poetic pride
concise verses rework obvious reminders, may motivate suggestion that opportunity shouldn't be missed.

Modest words abundantly profound begin remarks that reassures, with the - I'm here for yous'- symbolic embrace,
in support it is written, 'I know what you mean' and from a great distance - empathise, but I have little to say.
Health issues aren't fixed by artistic pennings, only face to face professional advice forms the strongest base,
Writings from the poetic inner self  may become positive steps, for futures not, staring in depressions face.

Much is written with sensitivity oft-times is judged by content, overlooked is why and how it is composed.
For instance suicide  educes fear however. dubiety invites, is it fiction or truly despair?
Writing as an art observes, describes, creates imagery, of sadness and joy, escapism, fictional or no.
Poetic creators who web-wide commune through stories, thoughts, secrets, ideas, dreams, let the poetry be shared .




Poetry www    Michael C Crowder 12th  January 2019 @scorsby
my thoughts about poetry its content and writing skill
when i saw you
i turned a blind eye
you were talking i listened
my ears anxious, craving sound

i think you have beautiful voice in accordance of your intriguing appearance the day had to be embraced with a hug

holding your hand became a sacred dialect that made sense
we all have our own medium to take the pain away.
Gray Jun 2018
Empty white room only a light bulb remains.
“Stay here, and think.”

About what? Nothing to do, but look.
Looking at the light bulb.

Blank room.
Empty mind, empty mind.

They slam the door behind them.
Left alone for the first time.

Empty room.
Blank mind, blank mind.

What am i supposed to think about?
I plop myself onto the white floor.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Light bulb hangs.

I stand up.
Walk towards.

Light bulb.
Pull switch.

Click!
Light!

But the room already was lit,
Despite the lightbulb being out.

Please, remove me from this place.
Blank mind. Empty room.

I have no light bulb inside my head.
They are disappointed.
Gray Jun 2018
Here i am again working at my uneventful office.
If I am here any longer i think i am going to be nauseous.

Just simply being here is extremely boring.
To prove that to you just listen to my coworker snoring.

I am literally tired all the dang time.
And to be honest I am barely making a dime.

I’ve been here so long I don’t even care anymore.
Do you think anyone would care if i just died right here on this carpeted floor?

Everyone around me is braindead and cruel.
Maybe i shouldn’t have dropped out of highschool.
Gray Jun 2018
What do i like to eat for dinner?
Well, I certainly don’t eat concrete,
Or a old moldy beet,
Or a comfortable seat,
I would never eat any of those, which would make me thinner.

What do i like to eat for supper?
Well, you would never see me consuming cuddly teddy bears,
Or long wooden stairs,
Or that strange green carpet i once found upstairs,
Eating any of those would surely cause me to suffer.

Oh? You’re actually curious of things i would eat?
Maybe i’d eat a big plate of cooked meat,
Or even a big bowl of something made from wheat,
Perhaps something that’s extremely sweet,
Eating any of those would undeniably make any meal complete.
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