With my eyes,
I told him what my mouth couldn't pronounce

By Chloe Elizabeth

Sometimes, I cry
and I don't even know
what I'm sad about
anymore

I'm just crying
about being sad

By Chloe Elizabeth

These moments in my life
Have taught me about love, friendship
And giving everything you have to someone
For them to lose it all along the way

By Chloe Elizabeth

You broke me once
and then shattered all the pieces
to break me even more

By Chloe Elizabeth

These painted walls
will always fill my lungs
and with every breath I take,
there is a small piece of the child
who grew up within them

By Chloe Elizabeth

You were addicted to me like you were to the alcohol running through your veins.

By Chloe Elizabeth

I was broken
I needed fixing
and I was wrong
to think you could
glue me back together

You accepted me
when I couldn't even look at myself
in the mirror
and that feeling rushed through my veins
like heroine

You were another one
of my many secrets,
I kept you behind my back

Eventually, I realized schemes
and lies wouldn't put out my bonfire
because it was only getting bigger

Three words...

Three words was all it took
and I was burning
But I didn't want to drag you down
with me so I ran

Then you walked away
You told me you walked away
because you didn't want me
to see you cry
but the look on your face
was painful enough

I can still see it
in the galaxies
beneath my eyelids

That's the only place you exist anymore

By Chloe Elizabeth

He told me he didn't want to fall in love with someone 423 miles away
"That's a whole lot of foot steps" he said
I can't say that I didn't feel the same way
But I couldn't help look up at the moon and pray he was looking up too
I wished for him on every shooting star I ever saw
And I watched all the sunsets thinking about his hopes and dreams
"But the truth is I really do love you a lot" he said
The truth is I really did love him with all my heart too
Not a day goes by that I don't think about being with him
I never believed in soul mates, I always believed a person could love many people
And I still think that's true
But never in the same way you love that one person, the person you're meant to be with
That person in the world that in some way, somehow, finds you
That person was him
And maybe some day we'll end up together; but that day is not today, and it's not tomorrow
But one thing I know for sure is that I'll always love him
Just like I did from the start
All those footsteps away

By Chloe Elizabeth

Sometimes,
I stand in the airport
and wait for you
to walk off an airplane
and into my life again

But you can't buy plane tickets
with all the stars in the universe
and you can't make someone come back
if they don't want to

By Chloe Elizabeth

I drank away the thought of you
while you drank up your confidence
for the girl with the red nail polish
and dark brown hair

By Chloe Elizabeth

Sometimes
I feel like I'm just
f
     l
            o
a
      t
              i
  n
                   ­     g
In the insanity we call society
With the whole world
Touching my skin
But nowhere to go
And no where to sink in

By Chloe Elizabeth

I crawl into this place
where he is not real
and the things he did to me
never happened

I curl up
and enjoy the comfort
that I have found in this place
and I forget the truth
so that I can pretend
that the pain isn't there

By Chloe Elizabeth

This isn't going to be much of a poem, just a thought; something that I was thinking about today.
I was asked if it was weird to have dated my ex, since he was 5'5, one inch shorter than I am. And you know what, I've dated professional go-kart racers, jujitsu gold medalists and kick boxers, yes, all much taller than I am, however, none of them made me feel as safe as my 5'5 hockey player did. So the answer to that question, which actually surprised me as well, is no. It was not weird. It was not anything but another relationship, with another boy, who proved to be much more than how tall he was. Height does not matter to me and I don't see it ever mattering because he made me feel just as loved as someone twice his size could have. And even though he turned out to be a complete *******, that was not because of his small size, that was because he was, and is, a ****** person. Case closed.

By Chloe Elizabeth

often times

when I am laying alone at night

I feel his presence with me

and my love for him is overwhelming

it beats within my chest

so hard I worry it may break my heart

It's funny
When someone changes you
And all your poems
Don't make you feel the same way anymore

But it's a sigh of relief
Your body feels light
Your heart is pounding
But you are calm
While you read all the old words
And can't feel their emotions

Your bones are empty
And your eyes are heavy
With tears that are only coming from
The deep place inside your body
That you haven't heard from in months
Months

Waiting was painful
Waiting so long for this to happen
But never imagined it would feel
Quite like this
You never dreamed
That you would be so happy

By Chloe Elizabeth

A part of me is hoping
that you don't show up tomorrow
so I can finally be done
and let go of you,
let go of us.
But I am also sincerely,
genuinely wishing that you do
because I don't want us to die
and I don't want to let you slip from my hands
that always held yours.

By Chloe Elizabeth

When you're involved with someone, you slowly collect these little pieces of their life. The 40 minute break that they have between their classes on Tuesdays. The amount of sugar that they like in their coffee. The time that they wake up for work on Monday mornings. The side of the bed that they prefer to sleep on. And then this day comes when everything comes to an end. However, these little pieces stay with you. You feel so incredibly empty while you drown in the fragments of their day-to-day life. Suddenly, you find yourself wandering around aimlessly for 40 minutes on Tuesday afternoons. You don't put sugar in your coffee anymore. You sleep in on Monday mornings. You lay in the center of your Queen-sized bed. You float around in this uncomfortable space between the life you lived before and the life you shared with this person and their little pieces. You float here for a while as you try and get back to a life that is all yours again. A life that is familiar and forever different. And you know that this will happen time and time again, you will repeat this agonizing process of building up and tearing down and rebuilding until that one day, where nothing comes to an end.

If I lost him
My heart would miss him forever

And my soul would never stop trying
To find pieces of him in someone else

By Chloe Elizabeth

She blamed the winter winds
For her sadness
But summer sunlight
Couldn't dry her tears

By Chloe Elizabeth

One day
I'm going to get on a plane
or get in my car
or I swear to God I will run
to you

By Chloe Elizabeth

Missing him is like looking out the window and realizing it's been raining for three days straight. Moments pass by so fast that you forget they even existed. The raindrops are so thick that the faces in front of you are blurred and you start to drown in the feeling that you get when you see him. The feeling that you get when she wears his sweater and when the air wreaks of the cologne on his neck. You try to avoid the wind that carries his voice around your ears but sometimes you hear it even when he isn't around. It isn't fair that he got to walk away dry and you're still drenched in the mess he made of you.

By Chloe Elizabeth

I think about you a lot;
when I'm sleeping
and our memories take over my dreams

When I'm walking
and I walk past our spot
where I fell deeper into your eyes
and started to drown
and I watch that moment happen all over again

When I'm trying to hide your sweater
under my bed,
in the depths of my closet,
in the burning fire,
but I can still feel your arms around my waste

I can erase your name
from my life
but the indent will still be there,
and it will remain there,
always

And I have started to realize
that you exist
not as a figment of my imagination,
as much as I try and pretend you do

I have walked
in the imprints of your feet in the ground
and you have sat
on the counter where I always stay

And I find a comfort in the struggle
to act like you were never there
because every time
that I can feel your empty space beside me,
it brings me back to the summer
and that smile
and those eyes
and the rainy days
and the lies I called love
and it's overwhelming;
the bitter happiness

By Chloe Elizabeth