Every night as I go to bed with my conscious filled with remorse and my heart so heavy I feel like a side of my body cries out in pain, and the other one feels wholly empty Tears roll down my eyes as if I hadn’t cried enough during the day Still, I wish there was a way in which I could just make the grief go away
My mind seems clouded with a million things, each of them ripping me apart I feel so emotionally drained that even keeping up with my sanity seems so hard Wanting to break free from the shackles of my mind, I now realize I can no longer carry Carry the fear of futility, the fear of failure, the fear of everything. I just want to spend my youth in a merry
Insecurities forge the unrest I sense within my chest, they make me feel like nothing to the world I could give The emotions that I have been suppressing have now left me suffocated, my ribs can no longer protect my heart by instilling all the pain, at any moment they might split And though being thankful for everything I am blessed with, I feel like I don't even deserve a bit With this constant thought running through my brain cells, I realise that I am slowly turning into an under-watered withering flower, with no desire to live
felt like you left me no choice, but to let go even if I wanted to hold on, I felt too weak. your indecisiveness, your doubts, your fears, clouded my mind and I felt suffocated. and I know I have to take care of myself and I just can't let it all burn so I'll try my best to stay away to let us both heal. tomorrow is unsure but maybe someday we'll both find our safe place. after all, I still wish you the best.
Doggy paddle isn't swimming, It's "active drowning." The little pieces of information Learned in the conference room of a YMCA, Preparation to carry a red tube And sit in a chair, observing; To preside over age extremes Swimming to and fro.
I sit in my chair Carefully keeping track As people come in and out of the room. Someone comes up to me; I stand up, shake their hand, And maintain eye contact just as I was taught. They walk away, leaving me to sink Deeper and deeper into this chair.