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Blake Jun 2018
As your chaste wings fluttered
     Sheer and slick,
Astonishing was your glimmer of beauty against the inky ghosts of older humans.
My inward-obsessed mind needed no first thought,
I pursued your trail hurriedly,
Climbing over tree logs.

Animalistic to seize you,
As I had yet to touch such a uncontaminated creature of beauty.

So when I finally reached your flight,
My greedy hands fastened over your so delicate...petite body,
Twisting your divine white wings,
Disfiguring you monstrously.

I chased home quickly fearing you may fly away if let loose.
When safe inside I unlatched you in my kitchen,
To find only a
paste of ravaged white limbs.

Nostalgia punching,
I used your paste as face paint
To hide my crime from your siblings.

Then shrugged my shoulders
Started my day over
And went to find another
And another...and another.....
Young butterfly
If the world is a test we were failures before birth
Blake Jun 2018
Tick tock goes my violent clock,
Lub hub beats my sadistic heart,
Bang bang explodes my venom bombs,
Boo hoo sighs my corrupted youth,
Pitter patter creeps away my virtue,
Ding **** calls my insufferable fetish,
**** a doodle do awakens my undignified temper and
Boom
Boom
Boom
Here comes my distasteful doom.
Blake Oct 2019
I run,
and arrive
at someplace worse.

I mend,
and end up,
more disfigured.

My circus of trying,
goes on,
and on and on...

A clown,
trailing me in glee for the fall,
cheering my weak knees on as I crawl,

I'm tempted
so tempted to drop,
But

Patience is all I've got left.
Blake Jun 2019
we were like two alcoholics
warning each other not to take a sip

-of course we took many-

our drink was whiskey with cyanide mixer
we drank while smoking cigarettes
with arsenic filters

-rotting ourselves in harmony-

and now we are like two suicidal dreamers
telling each other suicide isn't an option

-while using rope to tie our necks to the ceiling-
Blake Sep 2019
If you learn to live life with sadness,
You'll never die with true happiness
Blake Nov 2019
We never believe in truths,
But always accept liar words,
We are humans who deny humanity,
Or demons that all secretly have hearts of gold,
We are the contradicts,
A bunch of confused bunnies deciding whether its better to be eaten or run for freedom.

We are lost,
but found in our role of the play,
We sing in high tones but keep silent till we break,
we are nothing and convey we're something,
we are the humans
with not an ounce of rationality.
Bu
Blake Dec 2019
I don't know how to write this.
So i'll try and write it in the best way for me.
And I hope this doesn't hurt you as much as it's hurting.

Sometimes I see Things that aren't there,
Out-worldly things that bring me so many feelings and emotions,
that they just swell inside me until I barely have enough room,
for the air in which I breathe.

These Things,
They are not constant nor are they one thing and not another,
they are something between all the everythings and,
when I touch upon them they all give me this intoxicating effect,
and I have finally learnt to frighteningly love it,
to give it the title of my raft.

These Things that I see but aren't there,
haunt me most when they disappear,
when they dissolve with a-new understanding or insight,
because when I know they're lies,
all my memories become unknown.

They make me question and question and question,
and I start wondering whether its okay to be wedded to unfaithfulness,
in order to be faithful to myself,
Can I caress my savior of walking delusion if truth abuses.

And the answer is always yes,
so I surround myself with These Things....
My things...
so my mind can safely parade with dances of the
Imaginative.

And i'll skip happily with face turned downwards,
And i'll laugh loudly while falseness consumes my mental images,
because my ears have enough sand within them to hold me together for now...
for now.

Until The Things that I've seen,
become abandoned by my evolving skin,
and the truth pushes through objectifying the marriage to which..
I need.

When that happens,
It's like looking in the mirror and realizing its been thirty years,
Seeing the self preached falseness written all over
every part of skin...
with so many questions over-writing them...replacing.

And the memories start flashing at a rate of a heart beat,
almost like hearing the heart monitor in a hospital room,
expecting it to stop at any second and do one long beep,
and all you can do is standstill while every memory,
is replaced with nothing,
the nurses finally taking the white wash off..
the delusion addict.

And i'm just left with
The Things I can not see but still feel...

Like i'm paying for the cheaters sin.
Blake Dec 2019
There's a pathogen inside me,
it makes me want something i cannot have,
but still I imagine and afterwards,
i feel sick to my bone after finishing.

There's a pathogen inside me,
that makes me wonder whether its okay to be like this,
but its the only thing to fulfill my needs
and reach its ecstasy...

There's a pathogen inside me,
is it safe...is it just needs?
am i normal?
Blake Mar 2019
Down you once
Down you twice,
No guess whether im naughty or nice.

Drown me out,
Erase my thoughts,
Fill me with your violent voice.

Kiss my lips,
Slur my words,
Speak for me with an harsh verse.

Kick me down,
Make me fall,
Tell me im the Devil's spawn.

Cry out,
Or say no word,
I'll forget or forgive once more.

Make me sleep,
Or make me sick
Fill my Stomach with a hot candle stick,

But still...

I'll down you once and i'll down you twice,
I just need to find out whether
im naughty or nice.
Blake Jul 2018
So now I weep tears of dashed hopes.
The dreadful sorrow cracking and snapping my teasing mind apart as I say a final and tardy goodbye.

But not for you,
But for the man I met all those years ago.
And for the woman that met you.

My one last wishful thought,
Is the greatest of all...
That somewhere our old souls are still prancing carefree and smirking to the pleasure and gift of our love.
When you lose yourself...that grief will always be eternal.
Blake Dec 2019
It's okay to cry,
But when you cry,
Cry till your heart breaks apart
Accept those feelings,
Caress them and embrace their touch.
Because when you have no tears
Left to shed
You can Remend yourself
And always and always love again.
Blake Jun 2018
When your danger was mistaken as adventure,
Causing frostbites to grow on my cementing heart,
It seemed my dull eyes developed disfiguring ulcers which tarnished my vision,
Because your lust was thought to be love.

While your manipulation was crowned as kindness,
My skin was being roughly tattooed with bruises and wounds,
It seemed my aura formatted from a cloud to a frigid speck of pathetic dust,
Because my submission was thought to be devotion.

While your destructive words seemed to be a gentle push,
I became trapped and forced,
While decaying poison was being injected within my fragile soul,
Because they labelled your control as being protective.

And now they call me cruel,
Inhumane and a monster,
When I don’t weep for their own ordeals,
When I don’t care about the pain they have experienced,
When I remain indifferent.

But I don’t mind,
Call me savage...ruined...changed...broken...nasty...
A monster?
Because I won’t and I don’t and I can’t
Feel one bit anymore.
Just a quick but meaningful poem x
Blake Jun 2018
She threw to many sharp stones.
So as her glass house tumbled down,
She would pick one of the shards of choir glass off the ground and use it
as a instrument.
Always playing the same violent violin piece across her dynamical skin.

Her mother always knew she had
a gift for music.
So when she heard the same solemn chorus pitching from the living room ceiling,
She darted to steal the show.

And become her daughters duet...her piano,
To hug her so tightly,
Singing and squeezing
Until her violin chords stopped bleeding.
Parents make and break you
Blake Jul 2018
My fire cracks and sizzles,
The wind growls and hisses,
Sounds of her naive frenzied movements coat my sticks in liquid.

I crackle warning signs,
The spitting of banishment,
One day like a switch i will flick
leaving only black and blue behind.

Fire burns only for so long,
You dread and prolong my end,
But I invision peace in the hearts ice age of surrendering to the breeze.

Be gone mother,
This is my war and I choose to fight or retreat so please...move
Let the wind take me.

Mum please go back inside with the rest,
Don't let them find you among my ashes,
Don’t stay around to choke on my smoke and please don’t make this your bed.

Listen to their words,
Dont double the price of one life,
You need to say your goodbyes.
Blake Jul 2019
I faked everything
and for once I felt something,

with every
dead arm beneath you
hair in between my lips
the gentle squeezes
your eyebrows turning angry
the kisses
the connection
with every ****** feeling

I finally actually felt something

and for that to go,
it just feels like
I felt something to make me realise
I never was anything

                                            I was nothing
                                              I'm nothing
Blake Jun 2018
My lady,

Oh how I love those rosy angelic cherry cheeks.

Oh how I admire your foxy corn-stranded sunshine hair.

Oh how I drool over the caress of that fair sensual oil skin.

Oh how I fiddle with them refined full blood lips.

Oh how I’m baffled by that Cleopatra spine-tingling smile.

Oh how I analyse your swift throat gulping movement.

Oh how I observe them bones of glistening bewitching talent.

Oh but how I love every part of you but beg you not to return my looks.

Oh how can I learn to love them
Delicate emerald tear-stricken eyes.

If it cripples me even for a second to dive within its grief-stricken ripples of a stare.
Blake Aug 2018
Spasming in life’s web,
Clustering under eight legged dreads,
Watching some rise from its smother,
But only for short pathetic seconds.

I watch many downfalls,
Idle in wait for my own,
Seizuring with a horrible burden,
Fortune telling with no end fortune.

All mere blinded mirrors laying in wait,
Distorting the spidery figure differently,
Mine reflects its harsh fangs and nature,
Others reflects admiration towards the creator.

The web a complex beauty,
But I can’t claim cruelty home,
The ripples of intertwined death,
Some by father...foe...or friend.

The inhumane humanity,
Puppets and the almighty player,
Cloud me from things called prayer,
For that hope must be alive and well.

I’m just waiting for my bones to decay,
Peace in nothingness or so you claim flames,
Free from the *******
And all that it stands for.

I’m an unholy ghost.
Blake Jun 2018
As my foreign bones and ragged skin were being disfigured and gritted underneath the heaviness of you.
I soon came to the realisation,
That my betraying heart was differing its rhythm...
It’s beating.
To match and partner with your own.

And although your mental and physical rebelled together to take and conquer my being and willpower.
I begged for your heart to have mercy,
To betray its instincts
And stop it’s beating...

So mine would unwillingly follow suit
and therefore save me from
Eternal sadistic blues.
I think my heart would of deserve it.
Blake Nov 2019
You didn't want it to rain,
you needed it to be dry,
but the rain poured after a dying groan.

Miles away a man collapses,
his dry throat getting wet with
the fated rescue to which you hate.

You may not like,
want or need,
whats happening,
but maybe think of the
possible possibilities
and it all becomes
so
very
beautiful
Blake Nov 2019
if we could stand and mirror,
our earthly regrets and wants,
would we dire or seek,
the turn of cheek or overdosing wine,
if we could seek and help furnish,
the time this touch and go,
or seek their walls which speak,
who deny us and help us sow,
and if i can speak walls of pleasure,
but crumble at the slight of pain,
if we can help those whose speak,
but help from touch and gain,
and if i tell you i love you,
but never receive touching fate,
if i call upon the many,
but never speak again,
if i could do it all,
but never enough to stroke,
if i could learn to live,
but never much too die,
will you live to learn to love,
or you die by touch,
will you learn to live,
or by one by one and one and one.
If we could stand and mirrod
Blake Jun 2018
D O N T
you see?

It wasn’t my pathetic unrequited love.
Nor was it the vanishing of you.
It wasn’t the sorrow I felt while you faded.
Nor was it the recognition of our expiry date.

O  P  E  N
Your eyes.

It was your kindness
It was them sweet white lies you whispered to comfort me.
To protect my feelings.

C A N T
you
see?

You wasn’t letting me down gently.
You wasn’t being noble.
You just prolonged my inevitable misery.
You let the emotion of belonging cement to then just carelessly erase it.

Please
L I S T E N
To me

That mutilated me.
That broke and wrecked me.
That made me contemplate everything.

It
S H A T T E R E D
Me

And yes my own love was the executioner
But you tossed me away
Trafficked me to the devil.

His favourite play is the mockery of

H O P E

You were just his little minion.
Blake Jun 2018
My love go to your nearest sea,
Once there close your sweet eyes my love.

Then leave your porcelain bones and skin,
Let your elegant precious soul drift over the deep blue sea.

I’ll leave shore too my love,
And my lonely soul will float towards you.

We will meet in the great clouds of blue,
You will have one forbidden touch and I’ll have two sips of your gold.

We just can’t mix my love,
They will know when we get back home.

Just embrace me until the tides pull us away,
I promise we will meet on ground one day.
My Love x
Distance is worst than time. But both play devil games.
Blake Nov 2018
Years have strayed my sensation,
My flame of contentment flickering away,
Fading
As my days and nights are spent,
searching for some longing intensity.

Why cant satisfaction caress me anymore?
Cheap wine and neon lights become my serenity,
Shading the truth that I've completely
Fallen.

Who am I right now?
My body is lethally sinful,
Deceiving my whole world,
That I'm still here
Remaining.

I've been to a manifold of mosh pits,
But I never really left my first,
I lost myself in a mosh pit


I can't return.
Online Definition: Moshing or slamdancing is a style of dance in which participants push or slam into each other, typically performed in "aggressive" live music. Moshing usually happens in the center of the crowd, generally closer to the stage, in an area called the "pit". It is intended to be energetic and full of body contact.
Blake Nov 2019
I shall rip open the nails on my lips,
unfasten the clamp which has been put,
And let you all hear my misery.

I shall forbid hands to plaster my wailing eyes,
flick them away with tormented stamina,
And let you all see my deteriorated spirit from the irises.

I shall drop the fabrics which coat my dishonest skin,
unveil my battered bareness with no coyness,
And let you all cringe from my flickering silhouette.

I shall sit pestering under fire light,
My hands frantically peeling back every layer,
That was compelled upon me to carpet agony's vileness,
And let you all decide whether you can face it.

And I will finally tend to my mature scars,
Examine their falseness with sorrow,
Because although they're scars,
They never once stopped weeping blood.
Blake Nov 2019
They say the world is over-populated,
But I bet its nothing compared to Hell.
Blake Nov 2019
Dont be angry
Dont be sad.
I've learned to live with no words so when you ask,
i cannot speak a verse.
I may seem about others like they are all i have,
but i have learned to live with no words,
they're nothing but a verse.
With you its different,
it reaches my very core and when i speak,
i speak with emotions that i have never felt before.
Im confused, so very confused... of this and that and more,
the way my heart beats and even when i breathe deep im so very confused and want to demand to rebuild my broken walls.
So dont be angry or sad,
dont be anything but mine,
because when i speak to you every word is felt unlike never before
Blake Jun 2019
He always wanted to own and steal,
her very existence that she wields,
so one day he reached into her chest,
blood was spilling and it became a mess,
he finally grasped what he thought,
was her beating tool instead though...
came out a pile of coal.

And with surprise he shrieked,
"what the ****, where the hell is your heart?"
she glanced at him calmly,
responded wisely,

"I don't know what that is,
but I think I lost it to my father,
when I was still a kid"
father love heart parent damaged abandoned alone lost troubled youth childhood blood heart dedication family suffering illness
Blake Jun 2018
If you wish to call it blindness,
Then yes I’m blind.

If you choose to call it submission,
Then I am whipped and kneeling.

If you’re convinced to call it pathetic,
Then cringe because I’m woeful.

If you desire to call it a sin,
Then send me to the pits of hell my god.

If you pick to call it silly,
Then I must still be a immature child.

If you preach to call it ****** up,
Then I am surely deranged and crazy.

If you need to call it chemicals,
Then I’m definitely severely imbalanced.

If you need to call it all of the above,
Maybe spice it up add a few more words

please go ahead.
But I will always call it


L   O   V   E
Blake Jun 2018
God
If this life is really a test,
We were failures before birth.

Amen.
Blake Jun 2018
Only thing that’s capable of loving me,        
Will be the bacteria that eventually feeds on my
sick
rotten
body
Blake Nov 2019
I hope that my last breath,
will finally be a breath of peace.
Blake Aug 2019
When i go,
God will do my judgement,
While I judge him.
Blake Aug 2019
When I was young I was frightened of ghosts,
but now that i'm old i'd give anything to see them.
Just like how I spent my best days dreaming of new beginnings,
Now I use it as an opportunity to return to those settings
just so i can picture familiar faces.
Blake Dec 2018
For he with the blonde curls,
Who set you from stone to glass,
For he with greyness and age,
Who set you from virtue to lust,
And for the fathers who warned,
Who set you in a statue of shame,
With his constant looks of disbelieving.

For she with the stars of freckles,
Who set you from glass to shards,
For she with the condensation of coldness,
Who set you on route to loneliness,
And for the mothers who neglected,
Who set you with no comfort,
With no help after the males visited.

For the creaks of floorboards,
Threatening unholy arrival,
For the thousands of bed squeaks,
Helping by gifting distraction,
For the hotel clerks gentle knowing smiles,
As the crack within my mind soften,
For the cheeks I can force upwards,
For the sacred of tears that disappeared with new numbness,
For the child within me who had such urgency to grow up,
And for me...for me.
Blake Nov 2019
Is that the yapping of a dog,
or a croak from a bird.
Is that sound from the drains,
or a incoming train.
Is that glow from a street lamp,
or the hum of the moonlight,
Is that dampness from a bench,
or the condensation from the cold night.
Is that someone in the trees,
or is branches swaying with the breeze.
Is that a snap from an intruders foot,
or is that just falling wood.
Is that you watching me?
or useless thoughts kicking in.
Is that my heart beat?
or loud increasing drums playing in the distance.

Is that your eyes soaking in my skin,
your breath in my ear,
your presence engulfing me,

is that you within the trees
or is it just me?
Blake Nov 2019
I'm nothing but a drawing,
ready to be erased with a single scrub.
Blake Jun 2018
Can you really label it as self harm
           If it saves you daily
                     From a detached
                                      Senseless
                ­                              Dazed
                                                   Abyss.
Blake Dec 2019
People ask me about my first love so here it goes.

The psychiatrists came,
They asked about my issues,
And i told them the whole truth,
They said its not in the medical books,
just personality.

Then the doctors came,
They asked me my issues,
And i told them the same,
They said its definitely nothing biological,
So it must be my personality and finally left me alone.

So many people came,
I answered their questions openly,
And they couldn't conjure my words as sane ones,
They said your quite weird but interesting,
But its just my personality and they forgot interest in the end.

This happened for many years until..

I came across the poets,
They did not ask but i opened through writing,
And the reactions showed me a small community,
To which the feelings i felt were normal...
So i fell in love,
And its a love that is polygamous and could never die.

So i'm quite lucky,
because i'm sure my first...will be my last.
Blake Aug 2019
The seed of love,
can often blossom into the flower of hate,
making us just a world full of gardeners,
all dumbfounded over our peculiar creations.
Blake Oct 2019
Lay beside me one last time,
Allow your tears to soak the sheets of our pretense,
Clutch my hand while your teeth pounce on your lips,
Always trying to hold back your gasping cries,
But your face still shrieks and deafens my ears.

Lay beside me one last time,
Staring at each other in devoted distaste,
My lips giving you a soft smile of a guilty goodbye,
Your eyes starting its spasm of unspoken begs,
Always flashing our buried memories in one last attempt.

Just lay beside me one last time,
Just one last time stare at me
So I can mouth the false words
'All will be fine'
Then your eyes will drift to sleep believing,
my one last lie.

Just wake alone one last time,
But for the first time with a full heart,
         And please believe... I'm begging believe...
                       I was just the most unpleasant dream.
Blake Aug 2019
If you keep shooting a man in the leg,
he'll eventually beg for the heart.
Blake Jul 2018
I walk on a path of throats,
Winces of pain is the sound of gaining in the world.
To rise you have to make others fall.
Blake Aug 2019
You can't say I've lost myself when
I purposefully threw me out.

That person is somewhere in a trash can,
wearing clothes with footprints that will never be washed away
Blake Nov 2019
The season when even the trees weep with us
Blake Oct 2019
When my life was night
He shined bright as a comfort guide,
But when my life was light,
He would never again cross my mind,
So when I called you my star,
You shouldn't of saw it as admiration,
It was usefulness of your body,
When my sense of self was plummeting,
Because like a star you were always there,
But you were only needed when my life was in darkness.
Blake Sep 2019
Somewhere he walks,
with my heart draped over his shoulder on a weightless chain,
This somewhere,
He chuckles while a crow ***** above his precious head,
still feeding it the remains of my wide eyes and betraying tongue.
Somewhere
he walks and chuckles
thinking of his prey.
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