I don't know how to write this.
So i'll try and write it in the best way for me.
And I hope this doesn't hurt you as much as it's hurting.
Sometimes I see Things that aren't there,
Out-worldly things that bring me so many feelings and emotions,
that they just swell inside me until I barely have enough room,
for the air in which I breathe.
They are not constant nor are they one thing and not another,
they are something between all the everythings and,
when I touch upon them they all give me this intoxicating effect,
and I have finally learnt to frighteningly love it,
to give it the title of my raft.
These Things that I see but aren't there,
haunt me most when they disappear,
when they dissolve with a-new understanding or insight,
because when I know they're lies,
all my memories become unknown.
They make me question and question and question,
and I start wondering whether its okay to be wedded to unfaithfulness,
in order to be faithful to myself,
Can I caress my savior of walking delusion if truth abuses.
And the answer is always yes,
so I surround myself with These Things....
so my mind can safely parade with dances of the
And i'll skip happily with face turned downwards,
And i'll laugh loudly while falseness consumes my mental images,
because my ears have enough sand within them to hold me together for now...
Until The Things that I've seen,
become abandoned by my evolving skin,
and the truth pushes through objectifying the marriage to which..
When that happens,
It's like looking in the mirror and realizing its been thirty years,
Seeing the self preached falseness written all over
every part of skin...
with so many questions over-writing them...replacing.
And the memories start flashing at a rate of a heart beat,
almost like hearing the heart monitor in a hospital room,
expecting it to stop at any second and do one long beep,
and all you can do is standstill while every memory,
is replaced with nothing,
the nurses finally taking the white wash off..
the delusion addict.
And i'm just left with
The Things I can not see but still feel...
Like i'm paying for the cheaters sin.