I guess our dream
of owning a dalmatian
doesn't matter
anymore.

I just want to sleep,
but life calls me again,
along with the moon and darkness.
I'd like to sleep,
but this mind is filled with dreams,
and sometimes nightmares.

All at once,
it hits me that it’s been you
this whole time.
Like wine in a heart-shaped glass,
this love fills my heart
filling all the holes
others left behind.

love is our only
reality so treat it
like the only one

6:15 PM
3/6/19

I am who I am-
whether that is good or bad
I still can't decide

Meet me in Japan-
meet me how the scenes inside
of your head plays out

6:11 PM
9/7/19

Her body
was the sort that
inspired ancient civilizations
to sculpt goddesses into their marble.
Chiseled down to perfection,
they couldn't come close
to the goddess
that is you.

One year later and
oh my god, I think I am
dreaming you again

7:44 PM
12/9/19

There was never any love,
no harm in letting go.
The pain came from grasping the thorns
attached to the beautiful ones.
There’s no regret planted here,
only trambled hopes and withered dreams.
No bad memories can bloom
in a garden that rejects salting,
but for the slower, grey days,
find a mirror and love the image
until the tears stop.

Love is not 50/50,
that is just a half-assed attempt
at an emotion that takes it all
and expecting to make it.
Love is 100/100,
so you’re giving all you’ve got
to someone who gives you their all.
It may not work out,
but it isn’t because you didn’t try.
Now it has come to an end,
you kiss goodbye,
and wave each other off
into the fading sunset
and not feel an ounce
of regret.

What happens after death?
Someone sheds a tear for you,
smiles for you,
and the memories live on,
as you live on,
alive in another.

I can't miss what was
never mine or never ours-
so why does it hurt?

9/6/19
12:38 PM

Chocolate eyes,
two distant planets
that hold a mystery more mystifying
than the furthest reaches of our galaxy.
My heart longs to
make the voyage
and make a home in your orbit,
but for now,
home is out of reach.

The city is alive
with its aging streets
and their flashing neon lights.
The hungry inhabitants shed no tear;
the gutters are already overflowing
with broken bottles and promises
and liquid dreams as old as the palace.
This city holds excitement for us all.
But no joy.

If you pray
in the same tone
you speak to me,
I can understand why
the angels don't stop
listening to you.

Arriving in Vienna
with a broken heart and
no place to place to go.
I wander the empty streets-
it's almost midnight and I
am in search of a distraction.
A bottle of wine later and
some good company by my side,
I think I might be alright.
It's one sleep 'til the new year and
I think I might be alright.

Forgiveness
was never my forte.
I never try to forget,
nor would I want to.
Is this why it is
so hard for me
to forgive?

What is worse
than missing someone who
does not even think
about you?

Yes,
it's true-
I still dream about you,
and I still write about
all those nights I told the moon
about you and your smile.
I would wake up the next morning
with a smile of my own
knowing that you exist.
So this one is for every smile
and every song we shared.
This one is for those countless hours
on the phone-
they flew by, didn't they?
This one is for all the postcards
I tried so hard to hold on to-
they were all I had left so,
most of all,
this one is how I say
goodbye.

Let yourself become
an elegant sunflower
in a field of thorns

5:24 PM
30/8/19

I don't know
how long I will miss you,
perhaps it will take as long
as I've wanted you:
an eternity.

Wherever you trail
leaves me chasing for more-
every glimmer in your eyes
leaving me entranced.
Maybe it's a spell of the unicorn,
or maybe this is one big dream.
All I know is that I need
more of you in my life.

Be your own
flame in the darkness.
Celebrate the light
in your own life.

Set the past on fire,
but don't forget to
admire every flame.

Whiskey-soaked words
written in ink as dark as
the days of this year-
Another love letter
to another year.

If your body's a
temple then I wish to spend
my days in worship

11:24 PM
13/7/21

Things are okay but
I'd believe it more if it
was coming from you

8:14 PM
20/6/19

A cold spring night
in a grim and dragging April
I am thriving everywhere
I am the dark, I am the shadow
I am the moon, I am the snow.
Do not talk of day
I’ve heard that word before
Now but a distant memory
Fading from my dreams
I am the wolf, I am the char
I am the storm, I am the stars
I built this sea of clouds
So that darkness may rule
I have no need for light
for I am the night.

You're so far away.
Are you even listening
To these words I
write for you?
Oh, so far away,
these messages in a bottle
are surely lost at sea.
Are you even out there?
I'm still lost and
alone and I
need you.

It only takes three words
to ask “how are you”
but I'm so selfish to just do that
while all my attention is for you
and only you.

I wonder if you still
tell our story to other people.
I wonder if you’re still
up north with your new man
and you'll say 'I knew a poet'.
I wonder if he will be
showing you pictures of the world,
and you'll say ‘I knew a man
who's seen Melbourne to Reykjavik.’
Sometimes I run into the people
we used to know but they won't
recognize me without you by my side.
They will introduce themselves,
and ask how you're doing and I'll say,
‘I don't know anymore.’

I now realize that
my biggest problem is me-
it always has been

11:11 PM
9/5/22

Does anyone catch themselves
in between two realities?
Do you wake up in a cold sweat
from a dream your mind still believes
is real?
Obsessing over every little detail
until your mind collapses from exhaustion.
This isn't a poem,
this is a question-
or is it?
I can't decide.

do you ever get the feeling that
The closer you connect with someone,
the further away you feel?
do you ever get the feeling that
when you think of someone so much,
that every thought seems real?

my baby girl
is like fresh laundry
straight out of the dryer-
so soft, so warm
so similar to home.

I didn't think the
Earth had two moons,
but then I found you.
Each night you glow
as if this world wasn't
pretty enough.

It's late at night,
I don't know what to write.
There's a hint of chai in the air
to chase away the despair.
With Chai as warm as can be,
how could I not feel glee?
I pick up the pen and close my eyes-
it's just me, my Chai
and the night skies.

The love bug
is not kept in a jar
but left to roam from afar.
The love bug
must be set free
to see if it was meant to be.

I wish they’d all go away;
The crowds, the voices,
all of it.
Yet they continue
to fill these empty days.
Time will continue to fade
and bring a brand new day
to waste my life away.

These hands reach for warmth
in these dreary months of bitter cold.
Some of us don’t want companionship,
we just someone warm to lie next to
until the thaw.

The human being
is a galaxy comprised
of hypocrisies

4:23 PM
25/3/22

I wish I had the
ability to touch you
just how you touched me

4:02 PM
30/6/22

Please understand
that if I call
out your name
in the middle of
the night,
it is because you
kept a piece of
my soul
buried beneath your
pillowcase.

I am always
exploding out of love
yet I still don't know how
to sort through the debris

Ten haikus later
and I'm still trapped on this plane
in need of a drink

6:21 PM
9/7/19

Ever since I've met you,
the more time I spend with you,
the more I feel I've become more like you
and I could not be happier.

How much good must I
do in order to redeem
myself of my sins?

9:29 PM
15/9/19

When you think of forever,
do you fear what lies ahead or
do you relish the endless possibilities?

The simplicity
of a short but blunt
and simple poem
can temporarily
cast out the
demons that
roam inside
my head

Dear May,
You’ve been good to me so far.
The days last longer and the air is warming.
But most of all, you've brought clarity.
But these days,
though I am more at peace
I feel a storm coming;
a war within myself.
As good as you have been,
we know these days cannot last.
But thank you, May,
you’ve been good to me.