has never felt so precious to me
Let yourself go
with all the doubts and losing battles
there is no way we can win them all
the cost of learning
we will learn to fly again
when we fall.
we also cannot lift bodies that
do not want to be rescued;
never settle for less when you can settle for more.
take it slow with process
and process will come to you,
maybe even greater
The tenderness on your body isn't forever.
But for 16, a curled frown of a fiddled head
fern and forests
just wasted by the sun, your traveled generous thighs
in which we've become to tie boundlessly by.
The innocence and wisdom of the place my tongue has found
there by what all came from;
i'd advise as in the present, I lived in satiation
by the way she lit up candles,
and held my body like warmth
and my heart like glass in this home.
no wonder why our ribs are cages for the heart,
except mines managed to escape and loved so much with the heart
so it consumed me, and she consumed my all I can offer.
"you are way too loving for this world"
soon, your touch on me, firmness, protectiveness, and love
held onto me, searching me out of your tongue, and slender fingers
reaching for mines,
so whatever happens, I pray it will be with you.
You were created in this world
you ruptured yourself into the world
and caught on fire as you grew older
that crafted you into what you are
and what you will become.
There is nothing wrong with your body,
this is an example
this would be a perfect example
no one taught them not to grab
tell him to keep it in his pants
now we go feeling unsure of our bodies
I led my life to fighting the distractions
so did they
nothing is wrong with you or your body
it was never your fault
You are in my written poetry
I portray you as someone I look up to
I sense the feeling you're capable
Of being that person.
You are in my head
Pinpointing the level of anxiety
I get from you, when you tell me you have fantasies of other people.
I portray you as my killer
You killed the most beautiful thing inside me
You wrapped me up in a plastic bag
And sold my heart to the wolves.
I portrayed you as the person
Who lifts me; in reality you brought me to my knees.
I want to see you as the better person,
But that just hasn't happened.
I wanted the world to think what a better person you could've been
And you're still sleeping
I sit across with my eyes, all weeping
You lied about all the things you said to me.
Its January 2017
And I tend to fall on all my faults,
That you were never the right one for me.
It's almost the end of 2019
And I'm no longer in your sad story
I'm living, breathing, I finally found the one for me
I know I should never fall back with you,
Indecisive lies; your issue.
I would like to speak to the person who is holding my heart upon their hands,
Do you know you've been holding it?
Do you realize the heart aches feel like stomach butterflies everytime I see you?
Day 1: I maybe thought you were picky and just wanted to flirt around or something.
Day 8: maybe I see things differently than last week, she feels like love but I'm afraid shes afraid of love.
Week 3: progression is part of the process
Good loving still feels good,
Are you here still for me? I'll always be here.
I sent a text about a few days ago along the lines of: ..I love you..etc.
I don't think I can put the emotions into words; it's too complex and so amazing still.
Progression: another feeling I still have.
At this time
I'm not going to understand
The meaning of this,
But the kind of love they say is wrong,
Is the love I like.
Knowing the love you give
Makes the females trip;
My bad for falling,
My body trembles too pruly for others to love
who had no intention in
Keeping me forever.
Is all the company I need.
The thought of you
Is all I imagine.
I wanna be kissing you, instead of missing you
Baby loves I'm trying talk to you.
There's a boy, and I don't quite know what to do.
Good things come to those who wait.
But patience ain't my thing.
The way he holds me, shows me he's the one, for sure the one.
Think I'd rather wait for him forever.
Instead of having him just for now.
And I just wanna look up at the moon.
I wonder if he's looking at it too.
And I don't know what to do
There's only a little.
A sign of staring at your wall
hoping he'll text you back,
would he? who cares.
learn to love to comfort of your own home,
learn to say "i love you"
in your own mind without speaking it
I think think the only reason why you're
lonely is because your heart
is the only empty attic, no one
decided to place their time in
because they were worried.
worried you would be the one who they
forgot those 2 years ago.
There is a little sign,
signs are everywhere.
he is the sign of someone entering the attic
"I know you're lonely, so lonely. yes that's you"
face up and heart down
you learnt to be tired and become the used batteries
like broken glass, being unfixed
only she would fit her pieces back together.
I want to hold you,
I want to wake you up
with morning coffee.
But the coffee he spilled on the floor
was like his heart spilling out,
onto the desk, dripping on the floor:
how convenient is love?
the heart is in the right home
You're the truth I'm always wanting to keep.
Your love drives people crazy, out of the wind.
You say you'll always believe me.
You say you'll always catch me.
I'm leaving this place, pack your bags
I'm tired of loving from a far
And I don't want to leave you anymore,
I'm leaving the old house that I know so well.
You say you'll always need me the most.
You told me you were loving the way I kissed your heart.
I loved the way your eyes shine
In the dark places in the life of mine,
Because I don't want to leave you anymore.
Your car is outside my home,
I'm ready to come in for the truth
And prepared for your home to embrace my soul.
'They said you were the man they were looking for' I heard.
Turning the opposite direction
I face him, touching his spine
As of how doubtful I am
'Let go of the man. He is
Known to ****** you.' Elle spoke.
I know it's clear.
I cannot believe to imagine
The blessings I've encountered,
The soft spoken words shivered through my mouth 'I let you go.'
Remembering the way
you pulled me close to your heart in the promises
of never breaking me
staying here, dancing in my mind
in the dark
making the tensity in my body, release
telling me you love me, keeping yourself hostage
in my body,
i listen deeply.
i am home to you.
no matter where i go, you're chasing me out of love.
I always knew that you were trouble
But I let my selfishness get in it
And now I'm stuck with you
Creeping your way
I ask myself
Why do I do what I do?
I'm too loving
I almost feel like it's never worth it
Because you just kept me
In a jar with pencils and sticky notes,
You use me, draw on me carefully
Enough to crack me
But never break me.
filled with love and youthfulness,
I tend to to get out of hand
with new recipes and crafts,
journals with coffee
fill my mind with inspiration.
Wishing for brown and red leaves
feeling the cool air of fall
wrapped in warm clothing
the feeling of hot coco
running inside my stomach
as I sit alone
fully overwhelmed with joy.
- This is what fall feels like
Truth be told
They never owned me
Yet, I still feel chained to
The down to the
Cold concrete floor. The servers to the owner
Who created minds for the evil and
One who seeks for the good in
They took a toll on me and blessed
Me with unconditional love
- my weakness and strength
If you've seen me
If you've listened
If you read me,
I am fire.
Filled with ambition, love, an emotion.
I'm my own canvas
I write my story.
If I were a book, would you read through all
The pages from the hurting to success?
What is real to you
I imagined her into my life
While I was writing blessings to him
For a new chapter; knowing it won't last.
I'm happy with all these pages,
Yet I'm still writing
The eyes speak on what mouths cannot say
It takes alot to say you are my everything
But learning to read your eyes
Says it all back
Through it all you can still make my heart skip
Letting me see
Letting me feel
A thousand things all over again; the emotions overcome to me, I forget how to speak.
Created: August 14, 2019
To fall in love, I'm all into love with all my heart
So deep in this feeling; to suffocate in it.
The beauty in these moments
The moments with you
One day it won't feel like a trainwreck
Suddenly every weight will be lifted off
I need this. What can I accomplish now?
You needed my time, I'm saying
Everything's fine; I mean everything happens but may not happen for our own benefit.
Think about "now" not "when"
Could it be your eyes i'm crazy for?-
but i can't help when I feel this way, wishing I can lay
with you; so now you're by my side and everything's alright.
I ask to do me well when I love you,
an letting the time settle
couldn't feel so good now.
skin on skin
You could tell me all
the things that make me feel at ease
For every word I read
makes up this happier memory,
for every kiss I feel
makes up my long absence is love.
i never felt so alive
She's like a light hearted wreak;
You don't seek nothing yet
For then, you see just her and a smile.
Open and she will be open.
Take it easy
With everything I put my energy into
But to experience
And to hold
Would be everything to me
A variety of emotions
Every night when i close my eyes
i see you
just you staring into me intuitively
and i continue wishing
from my memory.
Because if i'm not here for me, i'll stay stuck on you.
To be honest, is to be kind
But my kindness can be mistaken by love
My eyes rolls back,
I breathe you in
I won't get enough unless she's exposed.
I need to know how much
You feel bitter for me,
When all I feel is love
I was in need of fresh blood,
When you layed your hand against my cheeks
Oh love, my love
there are some people in this world
that are not worth of your trust;
i'm sorry you learned to hate so easily..
i known you since we were little, now look at you.
i want to live a little longer
i want to meet more of my people that i ghosted
but sometimes we cant recoup that into something new
really?! i thought we've lost hope in all of humanity..
we did, and that's why this world is now more suicidal.
if only we could accomplish more in this time,
but we yet again failed
we fought for equality 2 years ago
and yet we still abuse the action of freedom..
police abuse their guns against black people
why would it do them right or anyone for that matter?
because this world has an ugly habit of repeating itself.
just because you don't like the color of their skin,
****** orientation,religion,race,or any planet! for god knows..
its not right to take a life or beat it for that dislike..
some people disgust me with their sins
like, we were born to love and not hate or ****
can this just end?
it cant..i'm sorry
society can be strenuous.
a conversation between two people who hate to hear hate on this world, a person can do so much with love. but a person can cause so much damage with hate. ~love over hate~
i never told you how beautiful you were,
i made you feel special at some point. but i was not surprised that you
did not respond the next day.
i promised you many things,and now its like i'm writing a handbook with my right hand; which i don't write with my right hand.
i cannot speculate anything when you say something.
but how can i be so sure?
"always follow your heart, even if it hurts." you said.
so i did. and now i'm the happy girl i always wanted to be
or am i?
you can never tell if the person your looking at is just sad or depressed because of what they've been through
but i promise them it'll be okay!
and so it was.
but she was still dealing with her body issues
and shes gone off guard with herself,
and doesn't care about the aftereffect about herself.
people realize whats worth for them is everything
but only you can be the one to change yourself
and love yourself.
and i see there is no in between due to the fact iv'e done it.
for the ones who are lost in their own reality~
to this day i have many questions
to this day i am still looking for love,
i know it will not be long for me to realize i will have my questions answered
but pessimistic thoughts still haunt me
i do not want to come to this but i am feeling numb
my one mindset is on the people who love and appreciate me
not for looks, just me
i always thought love was silly
but it can do so much more than feeling things
every day i tell myself 2 things
1. ill find love some day
2. the future is unsure of itself
but i tend to have this unforgettable thought of her
but i know i will move on one way or another
but just this once i want to feel loved one last time
my obsession with the thought of you
is like seeing the ocean and never looking back
i want to see you
i want to feel your touch
but you're not here
you are somewhere here, in this universe
i do not want to believe i don't have you yet
but i can feel you
your gift of your heart
i'll be waiting
we are either in love, falling in love, or falling out of it
there are many ways to explain the term of love.
some of us are too numb to feel any of it
so we hide underneath the covers because love is in the air
if only we can see that not all love is not all bad.
i am afraid of falling in love so i hide and decline my thoughts
i rather stay to myself than to get hurt with the emotions inside me
i learned this by encountering it
i know out there id find someone
but now is like a rotten fruit next to perfect veggies
were all just little kids looking for a beautiful someone
i don't want to hurt no more
how i loved
each bare, floor
naked walls shadows on
newly empty halls
by day, my head humming
to itself of dreams, i cleaned and scrubbed
to make my life new; dislodging from the corner,
the old moths and cicadas
pinned on the screen dangling from beams,
and each windowsill clutter of dried leaves
i hate the fact that i love you, i cannot say this enough
i cant believe who i am because of the cause i became
back on the hurting
the new girl really loves her
she did this before it started
her scars her pain are still what they have become
but i sink into the feeling of her three words
"i love you"
i wanted her
i needed her
but now she is gone
and i predict its all my fault
i live with this day by day
but still wonder why i feel this way
little boy when do you learn?
you're already burnt
i can tell you wanna get burnt
but you are looking at me with that irritated smile
i'm smiling with my mask on as we both are unalike
an american girl and a boy can search for so much more
but you are just a mien
see the ghosts inside of my mind as you're to see
were all a little insane at times
when it comes to you and me i see eagerness
but i don't want to be difficult at all
a boy can be a set as a main
a girl can be set as a pleasure
but does not mean we can take them for granted
whatever happens with us, your body will inhabit mine
tender delicate your love making like
the half - curled frown of a fiddled head fern and forests
just wasted by sun your traveled generous thighs
in which my whole face has come and come.
the innocence and wisdom of the place my tounge has found
there, lived in satiate dance of your ******* in my mouth
your touch on me, firm, protective searching me out of your
strong tounge and slender fingers reaching where i had been waiting for years for you in my rosy wet cave. whenever this happens
this is us.
we do not choose who we fall in love with,
and our perception of happiness is our own and
is determined by what we experience..
love cannot be expressed by one who shows it different.
I wake up wanting your lips, I wake up wanting your arms, I wake up wanting your waist on mine, I wake up wanting our hands laced together, I wake up wanting to look into your stargazing eyes, I wake up wanting you.
— The End —