something happened this evening
I haven’t thought this way for a while
I almost reached out to grab you
just after seeing your bright smile

my stupid heart wanted you near
to pull you closer to me
in the darkened parked car
a moment to be carefree

I couldn’t take my eyes
off of your crooked mouth
thinking about another kiss
not being able to go another second without

I could almost feel your
lips engulfing mine
all the while your hands
trailing up and down my spine

it would’ve ******* up everything
had I reached across the car
ruining a working friendship
busting a large reservoir

but to grip the front
of your black t-shirt
and have your lips
as a sweet dessert

for a brief moment
I thought I might do it
but the time escaped me
and the feeling quickly quit

something happened this evening
glad I didn’t do anything rash
your smile just snuck up on me
and made my heart startle then crash

my mood shifting like the wind
feels something like whiplash
pleading for it to end
knowing that when it does,
I might crash

I’ve never felt so chill
then thrown into a rage
while my body remains still
my heart beats harder,
behind my ribcage

I long to return
to my joyous smile
for happiness to burn
behind my eyes,
once in a while

I’m ready to go back to
the person I know I can be
I’m looking for a breakthrough
something that could finally
set me free

I never imagined you, this way
a fixture in my line of sight
someone I wanted to look for
in a group walking by

you shook my foundation
while helping me to
hold on to myself
and everything I believe in

I never imagined you would
capture my thoughts
I have got to say
you really snuck up on me

a little breeze
tickles the back of my neck
missing a scarf
just to feel the winter air
uneven ground
endless bumps under my feet
puffs of smoke
attack my lungs consistently
miles a day
building muscles and endurance
birds everywhere
truly are the rats of the sky
coffee con leche
makes me miss home even more
foreign words
understanding bit of conversations
room with two beds
proof of a difficult time here
sky below
finally flying back to my world

a hollow figure
fallen to the ground
shattered pieces
were once whole

being smashed
repeatedly
they destroy
the outer wall

they didn’t know
inside the shell
was nothing more
than emptiness

what they wanted
could never be
provided by
the hollowness

lying in pieces
there, disjointed
welcoming fate
of destruction

today is your wedding day
and I’m at a loss for what to say
I reminisce on every night
spent in the den by movie light

when we were six years old
we didn’t do what we were told
when we turned eight
you became my best mate

all the summers outside
in between hay bales we’d hide
running across a green pasture
thinking nothing else could matter

at ten you hurt me so very bad
the loss of a friend I thought I had
through our years we’ve worked it out
spent time together without a shout

at twelve you painted my nails
the middle of the night never fails
to bring us closer as friends
not wanting to think of how it ends

in secret we continued to share
only between us did we show our care
when our moms were around
we were rivals on broken ground

at seventeen years old
you got a little too bold
called me by my old nickname
from then on it was never the same

our families matched us from the start
but our friendship began drifting apart
so here I sit in the third wooden pew
wondering what it would’ve been like with you

I watch her walk down the isle
and my eyes tear up at your cheeky smile
I can tell you love her, it’s true
it’s not a surprise I feel a little blue

today is your wedding day
and LG, I’ve just got to say
it was never meant to be, even though they tried
and I really am happy for your future bride

I crave being home
but how is it going to feel
being back at school
being in people's lives again
have responsibilidades

how many times is that going to happen
replacing English with Spanish
I'm scared of my classes
I haven't worked hard all semester
my grades might slip
what about a job
will I be able to do it all
I don't know what to think

this music moves me
provoking tears
waves of emotion
swallowing my heart

overwhelming me
unlike any other
letting it take me
to a new world

be gone
get out
you aren’t welcome
not in my mind
not anymore
those thoughts
the ones that hurt
aren’t real
I am more
more than that
more than you
no matter how much
I run and scream
from you monster
you catch me
and trap me
mess with my head

well guess what
I’m over it
I’m free from you
and I’ll stay away
because you ruin
and you wreck
my lovely life

an unstable platform
holds me up for the world to see
I beg them to turn away
so they won’t see me struggle
on this uneven ground
where everything could change
in a fraction of a second

“I have to keep it together”
I mumble as my knees shake
close to losing my balance
if they see me fall
they will think I’m weak
I want to be strong in their eyes
they shouldn’t know my secret

“I’m okay up here I promise”
they believe me for now,
but soon they’ll know the truth
because I can’t hide the fact
that my legs are weak
and my heart is tired

I will fall eventually
hopefully they will still love me
and think that I’m strong
even after this incident

you drive me insane
every word you speak
grips at my heart one way or another

today is shaky
by that,
I mean I am

"aren't you cold?"

the small shiver
and the line of goosebumps
gave me away

I was freezing
but I welcomed it kindly
with frozen fingers

it felt fresh
like the beginning of a memory
long forgotten

my smile emerged
and I gazed out at the gray sky
"yes, so cold"

I can’t get my mind to stop
I keep cycling through
my memories of us
my memories of you

from our first kiss
to our last
from our laughs
to our spats

from the times of friendship
to the times of more
from the uncertainty
to times when we were sure

I’m sad that these thoughts
are forever in my brain
because right now
they only bring me pain

I can still see you
sitting there in my car
making jokes
and then taking it too far

our late night trips
to get our food
ending in talks
of a serious mood

you never held back
and that really helped me
to speak up as well
you helped me feel free

right now I’m not mad at you
and it feels quite strange
I thought I’d write this out
before those feelings change

you write beautiful words

you always amaze

the way your mind
forms each intricate phrase
to put on paper
for my eyes to gaze

some of your poems
are well thought out
others are thrown together
simply, without any doubt

you write beautiful words
they expose you
every little detail
exposes the reader too

you write differently
than I ever could
you speak honestly in I way
that I never would

your words are as beautiful as your mind

I'm being used.
Being used by you.
I feel abused.
Like that's all you can do.
You pull me in.
With your kind eyes.
Then your words grow thin.
And I see your lies.
You lie to my face.
It's not a joke anymore.
I try to show grace.
But what am I fighting for?
You share your heart.
And I begin to care.
Only to be ripped apart.
My heart left bare.
I'm getting so tired.
Of the same old fight.
I end up wired.
Every single night.
Your aren't even real.
I can't trust you.
You can't even feel.
What could I do?

everyone always compares eyes
to the rolling ocean tides
eyes that wash over you
eyes that are a deep blue

the ocean seems peaceful
often described as wistful
the tides appear to be magic
depicted as utterly romantic

they’ve forgotten that the seas
can be dangerous beasts
plagued with enormous forces
almost always remorseless

those eyes might be chaotic
perhaps even hypnotic
so be on your guard
you could end up marred

people come and go
leave a mark
on my fragile heart
a meaningful stamp

brief interactions
I'll remember for a while
returning a small smile
being in my life

curious, humans
change all the time
leaving isn't a crime
I understand that

Don't look over.
Whatever you do, don't look over.
Don't look at his eyes.
Don't look at his crooked smile.
Don't look at the tension in his jaw.
Whatever you do, don't look over.

Don't let your mind wander.
Whatever you do, don't let your mind wander.
Don't think of the possibilities.
Don't wonder about your future.
Don't get your hopes up.
Whatever you do, don't let your mind wander.

Don't feel the butterflies.
Whatever you do don't feel the butterflies.
Don't let them swarm inside you.
Don't let them flutter in your chest.
Don't let them mislead your heart.
Whatever you do, don't feel the butterflies.

Don't touch him.
Whatever you do, don't touch him.
Don't reach out to him.
Don't lean on his arm.
Don't grab his wandering fingers.
Whatever you do, don't touch him.

sometimes you just have to write
a super ****** poem
just to make the words
get out of your head
and sometimes your words
flow so effortlessly that
the poem brings tears to your eyes
either way, keep writing
writing trash
writing amazing poetry
do it because it’s a necessity
do it because that’s just how it has to be
flow or don’t
rhyme or don’t
use stanzas or don’t
do whatever feels the best to you in that moment
friend, just write so that
those of us who can’t voice
the pain or the joy
have somewhere to find those words
we need you to write it for us
we have to relate to you
please
I beg of you
write for us,
your fellow poets