Who am I?  In comparison to this young woman with three children and a newly diagnosed brain tumor why her?  Beautiful and young with purpose.
I'm old.  I've abused myself and have allowed others to follow.  The wrinkles on my face aren't Mother natures gift of time.   It's a badge of trauma from an unworthy life.
So why am I here and why is she being tested?
Life is unbalanced...so unfair.  All I could do is place my hands on her crown and breathe the healing into the places of "dis"ease.
All I could do is hold her soul and lift her up with spirit.  All I could do is love her from this place of knowing about brokenness.
All I did was wipe her tears away and love her.
Why her God...and why me?

sometimes                                   will never
it feels like                                      be even
i am hiding                                         again
so so much                               s
underneath                          e
the surface                      l
and keeping               a
so so much            c       oh
inside that          s          god
t       h       e                help me

an unstable platform
holds me up for the world to see
I beg them to turn away
so they won’t see me struggle
on this uneven ground
where everything could change
in a fraction of a second

“I have to keep it together”
I mumble as my knees shake
close to losing my balance
if they see me fall
they will think I’m weak
I want to be strong in their eyes
they shouldn’t know my secret

“I’m okay up here I promise”
they believe me for now,
but soon they’ll know the truth
because I can’t hide the fact
that my legs are weak
and my heart is tired

I will fall eventually
hopefully they will still love me
and think that I’m strong
even after this incident

Your currency, should currently
Be known for it's barbarity
Your hostility, and severity
Will flip minority to majority
The reality and authority
That we want to see desperately
Is a community that concurrently
Finds solidarity and integrity
In the simplicity of sincerity
Because, you know what?
It's not easy, it's simple