Who am I? In comparison to this young woman with three children and a newly diagnosed brain tumor why her? Beautiful and young with purpose.
I'm old. I've abused myself and have allowed others to follow. The wrinkles on my face aren't Mother natures gift of time. It's a badge of trauma from an unworthy life.
So why am I here and why is she being tested?
Life is unbalanced...so unfair. All I could do is place my hands on her crown and breathe the healing into the places of "dis"ease.
All I could do is hold her soul and lift her up with spirit. All I could do is love her from this place of knowing about brokenness.
All I did was wipe her tears away and love her.
Why her God...and why me?
A client today. It made me sad to see such a vibrant woman, young, beautiful with life purpose be brought to her knees. xoxo
sometimes will never
it feels like be even
i am hiding again
so so much s
the surface l
and keeping a
so so much c oh
inside that s god
t h e help me
an unstable platform
holds me up for the world to see
I beg them to turn away
so they won’t see me struggle
on this uneven ground
where everything could change
in a fraction of a second
“I have to keep it together”
I mumble as my knees shake
close to losing my balance
if they see me fall
they will think I’m weak
I want to be strong in their eyes
they shouldn’t know my secret
“I’m okay up here I promise”
they believe me for now,
but soon they’ll know the truth
because I can’t hide the fact
that my legs are weak
and my heart is tired
I will fall eventually
hopefully they will still love me
and think that I’m strong
even after this incident
Your currency, should currently
Be known for it's barbarity
Your hostility, and severity
Will flip minority to majority
The reality and authority
That we want to see desperately
Is a community that concurrently
Finds solidarity and integrity
In the simplicity of sincerity
Because, you know what?
It's not easy, it's simple
i keep searching for you
in the lyrics of songs that you play
when we're lying side-by-side in bed
like we're not close enough already
i get you like this,
your skin against mine
and i need more,
i need my thoughts in your veins
i need you gasping for breath
as my blood fills your lungs
i need you drowning in me
i need your soft smile
i need you beneath my hands
gasping before you pass out
i need you scowling at me
i need you looking at me
i said this would never happen
so it happened
i don't fall in love but
there's blood on my hands, i call you
you come over and drag the rolled up carpet
to your car and drive far away
you come back, the blood is washed from my hands
there's mud on yours
you try to kiss me on the lips, i turn my head
you place your soiled hands on the inside of my thighs,
your head between your soiled hands
you read my words when we're not together
you agonise over them and look for traces, outlines
of you between the words, between letters
you never mention it to me
you sitting outside my back door,
waiting for me to get home.
you've brought food round
dangerous words are on your lips when i walk up
and you hold em back
you come to my ******* show
you spend every second watching my face
my voice hurts you
and still you stay.
i leave my house, my phone is plugged in
laying on the living room table
i go for drinks with a friend
and never once notice the absence of you
i never wanna be the one who ***** more ever again
If you don't
Have the time.
I would do anything for you.
I was stumbling through life when I met you.
Unbalanced on the uneven terrain
But you caught hold of my flailing hands,
and wrapped your arms around my waist
to steady me, you said.
But now, I'm stumbling through the internet,
looking at pictures of you and them.
And I waver,
As I imagine you with her, and me here alone with my phone.
You were busy,
Which is why there was no reply.
But why can't
You be busy
she'll give new meaning
to "heads will roll."
— The End —