Drunk words
I don’t mind
Hug me
Kiss me hard
Push behind
Because
I wanna die.
These wounds?
Doesn’t heal.
You left
I’m drunk again
Over and over.
Erasing you
Everything.
Sober me up
Was everything
A nightmare?
Are you still here?
hold me,
One
Last
Time
Hug
Me
&
Will
Close
My
Eyes
and
You’re
Gone.

Remembering how beautiful that moment it was back then. While you seemed enthusiastic about your stories. Over and over, I’m falling for you. Staring at your eyes, while you kept on sharing your stories. Hearing your laugh while talking? God, I couldn’t ask for more. And then, the perfect moment and timing happened.

When I saw the lights reflecting in your hazelnut eyes — my heart skipped its beat. How lucky I am to see a perfect creation. You amazed me in every simple ways you do. You, doing nothing. And I know it's weird, super weird.

Then, I became anxious on how I should act like nothing happened. But, I failed on it. Running out of words to say. It was the perfect time for me to say how much you mean to me, scratch that, on how much I am falling in love with you. But I choked with the thought of me expressing myself, because I don’t wanna be rejected. Though I know for sure this feeling ain’t mutual.

I think it's better that I didn't say those words. Because I don't wanna trap you from this messy human I am. I didn't regret meeting you figuratively at the corner of the street. If I could just repeat it, over and over I would find ways for you to notice my nothingness. For I will fall in love, again.

And, here I am. I totally don't know what to say. Or maybe I just couldn't accept the fact that me, being so coward leads me to this ******* moment. Where I’m caught between, wanting you in my life or wanting to forget the memories you’ve shared with me though I couldn’t deny the fact that it hurts me and pains me to think of it. But I guess dear, I’ll always be looking from afar. Thinking every possible ways about the thought of us. Yes, a cliche indeed. But, I’m a human being and in love?

This memory of you may not lead to where it should be. But I want you someday, or in other parallel worlds we might have — you’ll be able to read some parts of this, and a smile coming from your lips would suffice all of this.

I guess, us wasn’t really a love story nor a happy ending. Until then, I’ll meet you somewhere over a coffee and a smoke, then will have a chitchat about how dramatic I was and was head over heels of you.

I will always love you, romantically. And you do love me platonically dear. Good byes are overrated so good night and I’ll sleep this pain off tight.

You showed me your world —
You've got no clue, how happy
I'm with you always.

Glad I was the one —
That caught your heart, soul and mind.
Love me until the end.

You were sleeping next to me -
Peacefully.
The quietness that surrounds the room,
is the most perfect moment.
The only sound that I could hear,
are sound of you breathing.
As I've stared with your angelic face,
There's no doubt that I'm honestly falling.
Falling more deeply into you.
Not just by how your lips moves by the way you talk,
Not just by how your hips sways by the way you walk,
Not just by how your perfect eyes - stared deeply to me.
Or not just by how ***** you smell.
I never imagined I could meet you.
You were just a dream -
That I couldn't predict when will it'll come true.
Until then, please stay.
Hold me and wrap your arms around me.

It's just You and Me -
T'was a very good evening.
'til, you've unloved me.

The
warmth
under
sheets,
bodies.
Hands tied,
dug deep.
So deep.
Scream,
loud.
At the
peak.
Both,
worn out.

You asked me;
"What do you want for your birthday?"
I gazed into your eyes and told you -
"I don't want anything, I only need you."
But you turned your back and walked away,
You left me with no words to say.

​Best of luck
That's what you've said.
Pushing me away,
You just don't want me to stay.
Am I not good for you?
Or I just got no such luck.
Is it something?
Or someone's filling your nothingness.
Why?
Why push me away?
Is my love not enough?
Or you're having no fun at all.
Anyhow, best of luck.
May the odds be in your favor.
You may find your real happiness,
Never mind the pain it'll bring me.
You need to be happy.
So, I'm letting you go.

As I left the Town,
I did saw you chasing me ―
But you're not happy.

Dear You,
Yes you
the one who broke me;
into pieces,
Tiny pieces.

Expecting someone
like you
in front of my door.
Without you knocking
Without you asking
Without me knowing
that was the last time.
The very last time,
that I would see you,
that I would talk to you,
that I would laugh with you.

Everything was over
looking through the memories;
Sad,
sad memories of you.

Till we met,
not as lovers
but as strangers.

I do
From the first time
I laid my eyes on you
I didn't just found you, but I
found love.
A love
From you were true
I know, through ups and downs
You just love me, and I thank you
always.

You are going
to fall in love,
Again.
Because,
You think you're
Cold as ice
But,
You weren't.
You knew it
But you chose to lie.
You,
Chose to deny
Your feelings for
Someone.
A person who
Performs a somersault,
In your heart.

Nothing compares to you
You love me so true
Through ups and downs
You never fail me,
You never fail me to;
Make me smile
To dry up my soaking eyes
To care much
To love me.

To love me,
Beyond what I asked for.
You love me dearly
A never ending affection towards me
A thirst for my heart and soul.

You love me
Not just by my puffy cheeks
Not just by how I hold a pen
Not just by how I move.

You love me sincerely
Because I don't need to pretend to be someone else
Because I am being me
Because you just love me.

I gambled and laid my cards
I know it wasn't enough
I know I have my ups and downs
But all I want is you.

You, who'll never be mine
You, who'll never see me
You, who'll never care for me
Still, my heart beats for you.

Staring into the sky
Thinking, does God listens to me?
Wishing, I was perfectly made to be with you.
Hoping, Someday you'll like me too.

I want to take off my body,
Like a used lingerie.
I don't want it anymore,
I feel too empty nor valuable.

I want to change who am I,
To begin anew.
For every damage that can't be undo,
For all those nights that I cried.

Too afraid to close my eyes,
Having angst that the memory of you will chase me.
I feel remorse for myself,
For letting you dig inside me,
For being too shabby for my self,
And for letting you ruin my life.

My life.
My life not yours.
From the time you had me,
You never once think of my life.
It was all about you, it was all about your desires.
It was all about your happiness, your thirst for mine.

Of what you did to me,
It will always haunt me.
The remains of you inside me,
Were a nightmare,
A nightmare that chases me,
A stranger who have no clue of who I am,
But still continue to plunge his desires on me.

I am writing this not just to seek for your sympathy,
I want you to understand.
How to be empty,
to be lost,
to be disgusted
and to be the topic of town,
and to be me.

-

shn 6:7-16

It has never been a good journey between us,
For those moment we shared never last.
To me you are the air that I breathe,
But to you, I was just a mere creep.

You were once my everything,
And just today, to you I felt nothing.
I felt in love with you,
With you, being so unique and true.

I want you to search for me,
Even if I get lost in the middle of the sea.
I want you to remind me,
Even if I forget about you and me.

I knew in time you'd forget me,
And in that time you'll set me free.
We need to end this story,
Because Love, we're not in a fairy tale.
Sad things happen,
You and I are just part of a forlorn ending.

Trees are made of this,
Who I am to disappear,
- I'll stay over here.

- 02172k14

Stop . . .
I want my heart to stop  beating,
To stop screaming your name,
To stop craving,
To stop us, that was just a game.
Stop . . .
You're not even sorry,
An apology that I was waiting,
Hell, It won't be coming eh?
**** pride you got.
Stop . . .
Stop messing with me,
Making me fool and please set me free.
Stop making me believe that you love me,
Stop creating us, that was full of misery.
Stop . . .
Yeah, we should stop.
We deserve much more better than this,
We know, our love is not that strong,
We did everything, but what went wrong?
Stop . . .
Loving me,
I know you regret everything,
I know you were just lying,
From the very beginning,
Until we meet our ending.
Stop . . .
Saying goodbyes,
I don't even know why?
Are you doing it just to hurt me?
You did great because it pains me.

- 01082k16

I miss your smiles,
I miss how you curled up in my arms.
I miss how the sound of your laugh,
I miss how you are so tough.
I miss the way you comb your hair,
I miss the way your eyes stare.
I miss how you crack green jokes,
I miss how you scare those folks.
I miss your lips,
I miss your face,
I miss your touch,
I miss everything about you.
But I know, we both deserve better,
Those pain will heal,
And when that time arrives,
You and me are nothing but plain as nothing.

- 01082k16

No.
I just want a,
coffee nor a cigarette.
And a bed to where I could stay all day,
and let myself dive into your arms.

I could use my day offs,
Just to spend more time with you, and only you.
Whose body was to be thank with.
I could stare at you,
whose, eyes are mixed with green and blue.

And kiss you,
and hug you,
and sleep with you.

But, all of this will remain as my beautiful nightmare,
For you, I was no longer a meaning.
And you just treated me as a game on truth or dare,
I'm inlove with you and I hated this feeling.


- 12102k15

Tell me where should I start?
Tell me how should I do my part?
Cuz' I wanna free my heart,
And undo this and restart.

All those things,
all the misunderstandings,
all the happy beginnings,
and even all the saddest endings.

I just want to be with you,
Just tell what should I do.
I want more of you,
And that's how I love you.


- 12102k15

I've had enough chasing you,
What else should I do?
Are we really into this?
The old you, that I missed.

I'm begging you to stay,
Even if it's just for a day.
I just want to spend more time,
Because, this will be the last time that you're mine.

Some things have changed,
Was it me or was it you?
Was it all about the things I can't undo?
Or was it me who stopped chasing you?


-12072k15

I still want US,
But I can't be, and we can't be,
So I'm setting both of us free,
Free from this relationship that won't last.

It pains me,
To see you're free,
But that's how I love you,
And it's true.

I hope one day,
You can still laugh and be okay.
Let's bury together this agony,
Time heals and we'll be ready.

I can't be that person you want,
Those things that you want me to do, but I just can't.
You made me this person I am now,
I'm still into you, somehow
Again, you cast another spell,
And I have difficulty on how to dwell.

I hate to admit that I'm tired of being me,
I only write because you exist,
This feeling that I have, I can't resist,
For you my Love, will be free.

I know you will be free from me,
From the person I just can't be.
I'm not good enough for you,
I keep asking myself, what should I do?

No words can express,
      I need you, I yearn for you,
            I did all my best.


- 05152k15

What I saw was true,
I was bound to love you,
-- Until I die dear.

- 05152k15