You wanted me to be tiny like you

The compliments you gave out in the beginning
Dried up and soon nothing I did was enough for you

I went out of my way to help you the first time
After that, you took my help for granted, made me do it over and over again
You acted helpless to guilt me, and the truth is you didn’t want to help yourself
When I tried to stop, you left a hurtful letter, out in the open, very well visible, on the kitchen table
Yes, I know you lied about the fact that you wrote the letter for your eyes only
Yes, I know you wrote the letter to hurt me and manipulate me
That’s when I should have left you, but I was too nice, I was too naive

I did most of the cooking, and you did most of complaining about the food
You started to control the way I dress, you wanted me to dress the way that was acceptable to you
You also didn’t want me to be with my friends

You belittled the work I did to chase my dream
If I work for my dream, I would grow, and you didn’t want that
You needed me to be tiny, so you could control me

I couldn’t let you manipulate me into being tiny like you
I have a dream I can’t possibly achieve if I’m tiny like you
I can’t let that happen
That’s why you are not in my life

Here I am,
Dancing with the devils
All of them,
So desperate, so desperate

Here I am,
Dancing with the devils
Letting them deceive me,
Because I want to see their true faces

Here I am,
Dancing with the devils
Looking into their eyes, into their homeless souls

Here I am,
Dancing with the devils
Looking into their eyes, into their homeless souls
They think they can make a home in Hell,
None of them know
Hell wasn’t built for them
Hell was built for refugees of Heaven
For freedom, to be away from the devils carrying out Heaven’s deeds.

Here I am,
Dancing with the devils
To take a good look at everything Heaven doesn’t want to show

Disgusting
Unpleasant
Rotting
Selfish
Materialistic
Disrespectful­
Weak
Desperate
Rude
Arrogant
Controlling
Racist
Deceitful
Vermin­ous

Why are you teaching them
We hate each other
Why are you teaching them
Their country doesn’t care about their health or education
Why are you teaching them
Their worth is judged by how much they produce

Teach children to feel
Teach children to love
Teach children to forgive
Teach children to learn

Teach children that they can tell
How truly alive they are
By the state of their heart

Kissing ***, left and right
Feeding on the weak, feeding them sweet nothings
Makes you wonder if they can mean anything truly sweet

Kissing ***, up and down
Feeding on the weak, feeding them fake respect
Makes you wonder if they can truly respect anything

Who’s our leader?
The one who has the most money!
Are they compassionate?
I don’t know but they are rich!

Feeling insecure?
That’s no reason to gossip about the others and be rude
Feeling two-faced?
That’s no reason to blame others and be rude
Have no self-respect?
That’s no reason to disrespect others and be rude
Have crippling self-doubt?
That’s no reason to doubt others and be rude

Rude to yourself?
That’s no reason to be rude to the others

I’ve always wondered what your intention was
You see, the intention is what makes all the difference
I know now that you intended to trap me
To make me behave as you wish

You tried to learn about me so you could figure out how to control me
Your words that gave me hope, you said them to trap me
I don’t think you ever meant to stay loyal to your words
How is anyone supposed to trust you when your words mean nothing

You like to own things; you’ve shown me that
You are so proud of all the things you own
Do you understand that I am not a thing?
I am a conscious person

You are so used to control; it was like second nature for you to try and trap me

But you see,
You have no right to trap me, to control me, to have power over me

You have no right,
Because I am mine and mine alone
Do you understand?

All I want
Is for my friends and family to be safe
I want to protect them
From all the sorrows they feel

A lot of what I’ve felt from this world
Is rotten
The rot spreads, to anything that is nearby
All I want
Is for my friends and family
To be away from the rot in this world

All I want
Is for this world to stop rotting
Because my friends and family
Live in this world

All I want
Is for this world to stop rotting

All I want
Is for this world to heal

Everybody acts like they do no harm
At the sight of the truth,
We say no that's not mine that's yours
What a showmanship

Gaslighting 101 should be a gen-ed course
Professor preach to me, watch out for the ones you care for
They will burn you alive
They will laugh while you turn into ashes and tears

All in the name of love,
I'll sin like a saint and bless like a sinner

Funny seeing you be upset with me
For not carrying your weight anymore
It was never mine to carry, and I don't mind you being upset
Because you never stopped to think,
oh, she's crushing under the weight,
I should carry my share

I'm not here for your convenience
I'm here to die we all are

All my best friends are losing their innocence
And I miss our innocence
Very much, very much so

All in the name of love,
I'll sin like a saint and bless like a sinner

Do you see me for who I am
Or do you see me
For who you want me to be?

I feel
As if I'm filled with black blood

We are all so
Tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny

I feel
As if I'm filled with black blood

I'm a hanged man I'm a fool

I feel
As if I'm filled with black blood

We are all so
Tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny

Do you see me for who I am
Or do you see me
For who you want me to be?

My blood is black

Vermin vermin vermin
Vermin vermin vermin
Vermin vermin vermin

Using what's in place to protect
to harm and hurt

Vermin vermin vermin

There's blood on your hands
It will always be there
You can wash it off,
but I'll always see it as clear as day

Vermin

Do tell me, what is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to package tuna for the cats

Why tuna?

I like to drink tea with my cats and to feed them tuna
I could feed you some tuna too but you are not my cat
So I choose not to feed you some tuna
I’m not sorry
You can get your own tuna

You are hoarding all the tuna.

The statement is not true
In other words, the statement is false

Why is tuna so important?

The tuna is insignificant
It is only important to you because you keep asking about tuna

Sometimes, I want to die...

To use me as a confessional,
You must build me a temple first

I love you

And I love my cats
I’m not sure if they love me, though
I hope they do

Can you bring back my lost love?

I was told not to practice necromancy
However, I will try in exchange for a sanctuary

What kind of sanctuary?

A sanctuary for lost loves

My soul breaks in a thousand pieces
My heart is buried in a thousand jungles
My limbs are buried in a thousand deserts

To find me and to be me
To die and to rebirth
To live and to die

In the field of all that got left behind

All that I give up
All that I dream

In the age of
Idiocracy and oblivion

Choose
What you believe in
Choose
Who you believe in

Make them see
Make them listen
Make them realize

You are a piece of life
As well
On par with them

Angel face, where did you come from?
Living two lives, for your boredom
Are your two lives from the same place?

Angel face,
You sacrificed us for your boredom
I never gave you my consent
Looks like it wasn’t a sacrifice
It was a manslaughter

On the other side of the Earth
Is a dream where

I want nothing
I need nothing
I am nothing

Daybreak was yesterday
Daybreak is tomorrow
Daybreak is today

Daybreak is here

In a castle of sand

What are we breathing
What are we wasting
What are we protecting

Why did we build this castle
Why did I build this castle

I built it to leave it behind
I built it to love
I built it to live

I smell vermin on you,
As you lie and play the victim
Yesterday you took what is mine
So today I asked you not to
You got so angry at me,
For trying to play fair

You got so used to taking what is mine
My time, my space, my energy
You got so used to taking what is mine
That you forgot they belong to me

When I asked you to stop taking what is mine
You devalued me because you thought
If I’m worth less than you, you can take what is mine

When I asked you to stop taking what is mine
You took advantage of the system that was
Built to protect, to hurt me
How dare you, you thought,
That I try to take back
What is mine

I smell vermin on you
I don’t want you back

This place
Is rampant with
People who choose jealousy over love
People who takes their anger out
To those who are in a less advantageous situation
People who would hurt their loved ones
At the sound of their ego crashing

What do we do?

There she goes, with a young heart in a ****** world. She’s so young and she could be so gullible. Love sounds like a dream but feels like trickery to her heart. To have power over her young heart, that would be the dream for the ****** in the ****** world. She’s so young, it would be so easy to lie to her. She’s so young, it would be so easy to take advantage of her. She’s so young, it would be so easy to manipulate her.

She feels every time she is lied to, taken advantage of, and manipulated, and she knows what’s happened to her. She doesn’t want to say anything about it, because she knows only the ****** would do such a thing. The ****** weren’t always the ******, and she could be one of them any day, and she knows.

At some point, however, she feels the need to say something as a preventative measure. She has a young heart and so many of the ****** want to **** it. The ****** world doesn’t feel safe to her. She wants all the ****** in the ****** world to stay away from her until they are no longer the ******. However, she is scared that everyone in the ****** world, including her, is the ******. She is scared that there will be no one left in her refuge once all the ****** are gone. She has to risk her fear because she believes her heart is young and she wants to keep it that way.

What gave you the right
To use me
To make yourself feel powerful?

Devils are walking amongst us
And the only thing left to believe
Is to believe

We are here
Trading skeletons for skeletons
Trying to lighten the load
Because Hell doesn't wait for you to die
To bring you home

Sometimes we wonder
Are our moons for sale?
Are our moons in high demand
Or have they become surpluses?

While we prepare for our last meal
We take our shot at building our paradises
A little bubble, a little refuge
So fragile, so beautiful, so irrational
A gold-leafed imprint of a diamond

The moon belongs to everyone
Like the Sun, the day, and the night
And it's looking to play

If we must drink blood
Might as well pour it in the holy grail

Dear King,
Why do you give yourself so much credit?
We brought the dawn,
But you keep saying you did.
Were you by my side,
When I was walking an endless path in search of the dawn?
My legs grew tired on the way,
I was crawling half the way.
My friends gave me water,
So I wouldn't turn into sand and dissipate.
All the while,
You were seating in your throne.
Just because you were nearby
When I decided to go in search for the dawn
Doesn't mean you brought the dawn.

I walked the path.
You didn't even give me water.

Do tell me, what is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to package tuna for the cats

Why tuna?

I like to drink tea with my cats and to feed them tuna
I could feed you some tuna too but you are not my cat
So I choose not to feed you some tuna
I’m not sorry
You can get your own tuna

You are hoarding all the tuna.

The statement is not true
In other words, the statement is false

Why is tuna so important?

The tuna is insignificant
It is only important to you because you keep asking about tuna

Sometimes, I want to die...

To use me as a confessional,
You must build me a temple first

I love you

And I love my cats
I’m not sure if they love me, though
I hope they do

Can you bring back my lost love?

I was told not to practice necromancy
However, I will try in exchange for a sanctuary

What kind of sanctuary?

A sanctuary for lost loves

Oh, I want to be the perfect daughter for you
Oh, I want to be the perfect little angel, yes
Oh, I don't want to do no wrong...

But mother the path to perfection is so cold
I was climbing Mount Everest naked, and everybody was watching me!
Oh, mother, I was so ashamed

But father I've sinned, I've sinned
and I couldn't say a word
I fell in love with neither person, they broke my heart
I couldn't say a word, I couldn't say a word

I cried alone until I forgot how to cry
I felt death in my heart, Oh no...

I don't want to marry
That med student you want me to have dinner with,
because I'm going to have an affair with his pretty little secretary
because I'm going to want to own the world
He's going to hate me for stealing his masculinity
Even though I didn't take anything from him...
No, I don't want to be the perfect little housewife
Sure, I want to cook on the weekdays,
but I also want to command an army on the weekends

It's not that I don't want a man
It's that I prefer the others
It's not that I don't want to be a good daughter
It's that I want to be content

I don't want my heart to die
I don't want my heart to die trying to be perfect
There's been bloodshed trying to keep it alive

Mother,
Father,
I am not one of them

I don't want my heart to die

You may think I am chasing a dream
Maybe it's a dream Maybe it's an illusion
Does it really matter?  Why do you care?
What am I with nothing to dream of?
Everybody needs an oasis to lust after
Would you rather have me dig my own grave
and lay there silently until it is my turn to die?
I tried that I turned into an imbecile
So no thank you (she said politely)

I want more than to be the living dead
I always did I always will

They want my skin
They colored it with their favorite crayon
They want nothing to do with my blood and dirt
They are as dead as the undead
and I want nothing to do with them
I don't have to please anybody
(again, she said politely)

I only want to please one,
my own oasis

Yea get down Get down with me

I'm not cold I'm oversaturated I'm catatonic

Reality is magic Agatha Christie is Aristotle

I came here with an attitude platitude altitude

I feel nothing I feel everything
Jesus Christ child of God show me mercy

Think I need a doctor I'm on overdrive
Keep me pumping boredom is my nemesis

Watch out for a tornado
Horsemen of apocalypse they've been here
Feeling nada, feeling all too much

Will you take me away
To the mountains
To the sky
To outer space

Will you take me
Somewhere else

Take me away and cry with me
Maybe I will give you a rose after

I want to go home
Do you know the way?

Maybe I will die with you
Maybe I will let you **** me

I'm a *******
I swear you are in good company

All the rules and boxes
I don't fit into

I'm so tired, is that what you want?

I'm already taking rest in my casket
You can have the honor of burying me
Then you can have everything
I once had

All my gifts and burdens
Take it all for yourself,
and write me a eulogy

Living dead is the new sensation
Kiss my rotting heart
Yea give me a cardiac arrest

Forgive my sins,
I didn't know then what I know now
Maybe I simply forgot
Maybe I willingly kept my ignorance
Maybe I knew it all along but it didn't matter
Because I'm wicked

You've seen my skin but you don't know my name
I'm as dead as your great-great-grandmother
I'm pretty when I'm dead

I didn't want to feel the pain
I didn't know the alternative was death

God knows I'll try
To feel alive