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basil 1d
you did nothing for me
and yet i'm still here immortalizing you
why can't i give it up?
i held on to loving you for so long
but now i'm just holding on to hating you

let me let go

all the poems i wrote you were exaggerations
to make up for the love you never gave me
i can admit that now

sure, the 'i love you's were on your lips
but your kisses tasted like, '*******'s

you never listened to me
you never listened to the songs i asked you to
you never set up your ******* voicemail

you broke up with me over text. while i was with my family. in utah. having panic attacks every day. telling you about them. see above: you never listened to me.

i'm sick. sick of you. sick of this.
you're over it. my mind is over it. why isn't my heart?

i'm done coming up with metaphors for you
for how much you took and never gave
i'm done making excuses for you, and taking the blame
and i'm not going to do the 'just friends' thing with you
if you're going to tell our friends to cut me off
and smile at me like nothing happened
smile like two years took nothing from you

and i guess they didn't
i don't want to even hate you, that's too much of my energy to give to you. I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU **** ON ME FOR TWO YEARS. i must literally be psychotic. someone ******* hospitalize me omffg.

******* *******
Samara May 14
walking away-
i lay down my arms
awaiting the cease fire
you never call.

my eyes are open
& it'll never change
yet i still wait

& i'm standing still now
embracing the bullets you
throw my way-
the ones you call good intentions
but they hurt me all the same

is it a thrill how
each passes through me
and leaves an empty space
as they go

you can see through me now
yet i wonder why
you never stop asking
me what's wrong

what's wrong
is that there's nothing
left of me
basil Jan 24
no one salts my wounds like you
lemonjuice pouring from your eyes
your tongue dripping with expired syrup meant to fill me with ash and guilt

apologies bleed from the aching cuts you made
but you add another skeleton to the closet
and steal away the trusting stars in my eyes
blaming them too

i wish i could look at the sky, but all i see is smoke
from all my fires
you tried to put out with gasoline
worst part: if you read this, you won't even think it's about you
Samara Jan 3
what is there left to say
when all the words i've laid
in front of you bear no meaning
we speak different languages
mine, delicate
yours, harsh

the words-
ones i scramble to find
but still can't push to you
- - -
is this where we part?

please
let me go
and let me be free
to sing my song
for those who feel
my melody
Samara Dec 2020
oh
if i confide in you
i know that you will chide me
find blame in me
for what happened
that hurt me

so in time i learned
to trust no one
and to hide in a
dark closet corner
where i won't be seen
cowering or choking
on my screams.
Samara Nov 2020
You're my September sun
I see you're there
You show up every day
but still I'm cold
Shivering in your light

the universe is a hall of mirrors
reflecting my anxieties
refracting my good intentions
indifferent to it all

tumbling around in the density
over and over again
trying to see it through
but only seeing through you
be gentle when you're chipping away
i want to hold it together

propagating eternally
Samara Nov 2020
daughters of pageant queens
like them you
             want
          me
       to
   be

i come from a broken gallery
on display for
                           no
                               one
                                      to
                                           see
Samara Nov 2020
I was cold
sitting by a broken radiator
cursing it for leaving me warmless.
Samara Nov 2020
looking up at the popcorn on the ceiling.
watching it dance, groove, and jive.

wondering if I'm imagining this too
and what it even means to be
alive.

the waves of goosebumps come and go
and I'm a little cold
from the AC I keep too low
so that I can hide under a blanket.
CMXIClement Oct 2020
Slithering subtlety, the serpent saw a shard shaped slightly like his self.  
He gazed into the glass, seeing a reflection.
"What beautiful feathers I have!", he said covered in scales.  "What beautiful colors--- and wow!  Look at my wings!"
He mused to himself, (it's no wonder I soared so much higher than the others...They had no wings!  No illustrious feathers!  They only have scales, that's why they're different than me!  They not like myself, or other birds that I see).

He slithered sedated and satisfied with a sullen, sad and insecure of sense self under surface.
Along the way he spotted a Gold Parakeet, he compared himself and said this through his teeth: "Your scales are ugly, and cracked, and dull.  You slither with your wings from trees very tall.  Why can't you fly, and be bright like me?  You're unable, and there's something wrong with you, all the other birds agree."
The parakeet parried the poisonous paragraph perfectly:
"When you see me, you see what you want.  You attack what I am because I have what you flaunt.  But I soar high, while your words sink low.  One day you'll be measured by the scales you show."
The parakeet pondered puzzled at the python's reply:
"I see only the reflection of the glass I passed by."
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