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Feb 2019 · 820
Why Make Beautiful Poetry?
Matthew Feb 2019
If I made a poem that sang to the seas
and whispered to the winds,

Would the winds remember what was whispered?
And when I sang to the seas, should they see the secrets sunk into my subconscious?

The winds won't ever wander where I once have.
The seas never will stare solemnly at the stormy sky.

Seems that it is worthless.
Feb 2019 · 521
She's Falling to her Death
Matthew Feb 2019
d
o
w
n

she goes
falling
and
stabbed
   b    y   her
jagged mistakes
cutting open the skin
and watching the blood
drip
down her
blue skirt
the ground is getting
closer.
She looking toward her painful
future
with
wide open eyes
hands together
nodding
praying for the water to run gold
someone else to grab her away
miracles
are gone
or
never existed

ground
Grace under pressure
Matthew Feb 2019
The Two Poems I won't forget:
You read them warmly as if your lips were butterscotch
Looking just beyond your notebook paper.
Reading with the bittersweetness of siren's song
knowing whoever listens will perish
The sounds gracing our ears to enter our hearts.
Your poems of a velvet sofa left by the street
and a matchstick box waiting to be burned.
I will never forget those poems.
Ever.
Maybe I found the wrong muse.
Feb 2019 · 820
Heteronormativity
Matthew Feb 2019
"I didn't know you were Queer."

What made you think I was straight?
Feb 2019 · 775
Butterflies
Matthew Feb 2019
Fly away
little butterfly
your wings
are moving
away from
my reach
farther than
I see
A two word per line poem collab with
Matthew Feb 2019
Observe how
the grass isn't green.
You are presenting me black weeds
overdue
for mowing.
You can't show me shriveled brown dandelions
and compare them to the ethereal blue roses
that your garden once bore.
Feb 2019 · 528
Hush Little Baby
Matthew Feb 2019
Hush little baby, don't run away
Mama's gonna see you another day

And if that time is too much to bear,
Papa's gonna buy you a new blue chair

keep that blue chair close to you
I'll need it for the day you say "I do"

Shh little baby, wipe away those tears
There is something that you need to hear

                                                           ­                         I'll love seeing you again
                                                           ­                                          remember that

                                                           ­                                 It might be too soon
                                                            ­                                    for you to accept,
                                                         ­                                                            but
                                                             ­                                                            ...
                                                             ­                                                              .
                                                               ­                                     She's dead
Final words
Feb 2019 · 359
I Know I'll be Forgotten
Matthew Feb 2019
I Know
I am just
An Old Shoe
That should be thrown away
But if you tear me to small pieces.
And rearrange my flesh to be with you
It could be the perfect fit for me and you.
Love,
Your Old Shoe
Feb 2019 · 323
Who Am I?
Matthew Feb 2019
I swing through the trees
sing to the bees
give strength to the weak
am there when most bleak


Who Am I?


You are easy
You are simply somebody who sold their eyes
For a wooden mask
One who is no longer themselves
You are not human,
but worse
You are...
BIG GAY
Feb 2019 · 117
Find me and Break my body
Matthew Feb 2019
You thought I was new
but I was here
wrecking havoc right under your nose.

You ******* idiot
A Liar
Matthew Feb 2019
You've spent so much time on this Earth
Impulsive words that mean nothing
I'm sorry
An apology to everybody
Feb 2019 · 276
Look At Me
Matthew Feb 2019
"Look at me.
You mean more than you understand.
I just don't
always show it."
Feb 2019 · 428
It Doesn't Matter
Matthew Feb 2019
The word t
                  u mbling fro
                                      m my mouth.
A Bold Statement
They stop...
A blood red lie, I kept in my pocket
Their body turning towards the fresh noise
Revealing, laughter
Their expression a stern nod of disapproval,
and a shove aside
I am now a clown,
a mockery
I repeated
those stale claims made in contempt

My tears
Sweet chocolate

Their laughter
joined by mine
The words being
I am gay



This poem is about how I was always called "gay" because of my mannerisms and uninterest in women.  When I came out, it was a joke because I always denied it was "the secret I kept in my pocket".  Even though they don't accept me, it doesn't matter.  All their power is taken when you laugh with them.
Feb 2019 · 171
Nostalgic Fear
Matthew Feb 2019
There are moments when I remember
fear
that I felt long ago
irrational and absurd
knife to my throat
lost thoughts
never breathing again
now I take a similar knife
to my wrist
Where is the fear?
Feb 2019 · 510
* A Boy with a Dream *
Matthew Feb 2019
little toy planes
and small green trains
*                          icy stares from the glass                          
toward the radiant moon
whispers of "some day"
                 in a dreamlike way                  
hazy star
A view of the moon and a single star from the glass
Feb 2019 · 95
No, You Don't
Matthew Feb 2019
You can't have a mental illness
You are not killing anyone are you?
A very wrong view on mental illness.
Feb 2019 · 528
The Cherry Blossom
Matthew Feb 2019
It's falling to the ground
little
by little.
Giving itself
to us all.
Pink Blossoms
in the
dark night
blowing away to tomorrow.
A poem I feel is about death.
Feb 2019 · 699
im tired
Matthew Feb 2019
mistakes make us
human
and as
i
make the same
ones
over
and
over
i
no longer
see mistakes
i see an unalienable personality
that i can never give up
im trying
to climb a mountain
that goes on interminably

don't worry the end is near
all i need to do is stop climbing
and fall...
Feb 2019 · 374
Please
Matthew Feb 2019
You can't act like love is some trophy
to be won and earned
through adversity.

Love is shared
between
people

the
gifts
of
the

m
u
t
u
a
l
Feb 2019 · 609
It's Okay
Matthew Feb 2019
"It's okay"
A whisper from your soul
words so
ethereal
because they
come from you
You,
I,
might be wrong,
    but buried in your shirt
the phrase
makes the tears fall
My heavy eyelids
Your blue shirt,
is now the perfect pillow.
Feb 2019 · 825
I Guess I Love You
Matthew Feb 2019
I guess I love the way
you listen with your lips

I guess I love the way
we live inside our dreams

You take away the tears
With one insignificant laugh

One look at us
in the lazy afternoon hue
I know why I'm with you

Why am I so hesitant to accept your lips and laugh?
To run away in your eyes
full of sunlight

Because my pupils never grow
You might be blinded by the light.
Because I see storm clouds
It is raining,
drops of
my blue
tears.
Something just A thought.
Feb 2019 · 443
The Truth in the Wind
Matthew Feb 2019
It's funny how how the wind with words so eloquently spoken
Speaks only of how you are malevolently broken...
This is a description.
Feb 2019 · 168
My Opinion
Matthew Feb 2019
I wasn't taught to have my own opinion
Only taught to follow the "correct" one.
Feb 2019 · 569
Farewell
Matthew Feb 2019
A goodbye to you is a day in autumn
when the leaves fail the fall.
Stuck in the middle of changing.
     A silence where there
  should be laughter.
  I'm empty
     Stuck.
                 I'm lost in the memories
                                           I shouldn't care.
Feb 2019 · 1.7k
A dog
Matthew Feb 2019
It's
not moving

"it would have
only led a life
   of pain."

"stop
crying
it didn't
matter to
us!"

It's only
the rain      

why do Things  
die

"to cause
pain."
.
.
.

I want
to   remember This
Can we build a grave  
The rain makes Her cry  
"it is only just the rain.."  
  Please we need to  
  remember
Her
How I see this poem.  It's about two people with two conflicting ideas about death.  The little one feels that death should be remembered, and older one feels that we should forget death as it only causes pain.  The main feelings of this poem for me is to remember death.


I put that in how their speech is written.  the little one capitalizes what he feels he feels are important like the beginning of a sentence and a words like her.  He also doesn't feel the need for periods.  The older one on the other hand feels that everything is useless.  so he doesn't capitalize and he always puts periods to remember that things should end.
Feb 2019 · 160
Unseen
Matthew Feb 2019
A beautiful blue rose
unacknowledged to those
who seen in black in white
Feb 2019 · 256
Remember
Matthew Feb 2019
Love runs away
Fleeing with Stolen Hearts
so fraudulent
and sly
tiptoeing to our doors
to leave us a small gift.
When we wake,
to a find a Stolen Heart on our doorstep
We hide.
Crimes of passion
we don't understand
Yours aching to return
And when our eyes meet
so do our lips
Unsure of the warm embrace
and the new heart
A hybrid of yours and mine.
Hoping
                                                    ­                                    Love doesn't shatter it.
A poem about love
Feb 2019 · 216
Pride
Matthew Feb 2019
I try to fit inside society
but I don't
My curves are too jagged
my mannerisms too much;
but I should be proud
that I'm more likely to end my life,
of the hate crimes,
the judging,
and the people who want us to change.
Be Proud
Because when you don't fit into a box,
We are in that lovely rainbow pool.
But I am drowning in it.
The heteronormative box
replaced with more labels
and more discrimination.
"No femmes, no blacks, no asians"
It's okay to have preferences
But don't discriminate in a place where there is already enough.
I can't fit into the box even when they try.
There is pride in the milestones
Though, the road ahead goes on for awhile.
Jan 2019 · 748
Ballroom
Matthew Jan 2019
Lively and Jumping
A vibrance felt
Spinning
in a Bright display
of Human Beauty

Its lights beckoning
One step forward;
Dead Darkness
Isolating me
From them
The second life lived
in the small Room
Haunting Ballads
Drag me closer
Insidious, blighted
It is forever
I'm trying to convey unsure emotion
Matthew Jan 2019
A fire
burning
the old me.

Memories
of times
no longer
my own.

The crackling
is melting my soul
soul.
Ashes, are all that is left of me
And from them
The New Me emerges.
A poems of fire
Jan 2019 · 403
Hatred (Prose)
Matthew Jan 2019
It's just another week
in my blighted life
time to spill the tea

Left to taste the bitter hate
when all I ask are sweets
and the candy that you give
is too salty for my taste

Sticks and stones may break my bones
, but your words cut deeper than my knife

'"It's okay you're just misguided
and as long as you conform
like all those who tried and failed"

"You're not hurting anyone
, but you just can't fit in my box"

I'm searching frantically for someone to hold out hand
to save me from this hell.
and when I'm brought back to Earth
by the comfort of their voice
I live.

But they're dead now
in the cold
absence of everything,
I die.
I wrote this poeming thinking of the other people who might be in this situation.
Jan 2019 · 651
I'm sorry
Matthew Jan 2019
Endless Apologies
only bears
Agonizing Pain
Jan 2019 · 353
Insomnia
Matthew Jan 2019
Troubled, Crying, Red, eyes
The bottle containing
Tablets
The tablets help
Tireless exhaustion knocks the bottle
Tiny white dots
Tick away on a white surface
Transparent to my vision
Too many to count
Try to close my eyelids
To rest interminably
Two, four, eleven,
Twenty is needed.
Jan 2019 · 229
Never Love Again
Matthew Jan 2019
Till Death, do Us part
A joke at my expense?
Trivial
BR oKen Hearts
Never wanting to shatter
Though, we never did leave

Now I smile, but only when
Looking
Backward.
Matthew Jan 2019
People are rivers.
Rivers that go on.
on to tomorrow.
Tomorrow into dawn.

The way we want to change
change the river's flow
flow through the sky
sky that is never low

Endlessly going in one direction.
direction that can not be easily changed.
changed never by only asking.
asking for a difference in what has been arranged.

We can build a dam.
Dam that changes goals.
Goals are never just.
Just watch out for holes
The way I perceive this poem, people are rivers.  You can't ask someone or a river to change by just asking them.  You have to build a dam, but dams might have holes.
Jan 2019 · 343
My Puberty Love Poem
Matthew Jan 2019
Child like innocence
and strange infatuations
Limbo

Limited days spent thinking of the
love of my life
soon to change
the next week.

Hiding furtive crushes from the ones you love.
Until they realize it
ten seconds later

Acting as if these trivial days
will matter years later.

But somehow, still wanting those days to never go away.
And never going to end it.
Jan 2019 · 149
Today is Beautiful
Matthew Jan 2019
I know one day I will love and feel heartbreak.
But today,
I decide to live.
A day of true happiness.
One more day to enjoy my youth
with all its stereotypes and flaws.
Another day to look forward in anticipation of the future
instead of fear.
Because I started caring years ago,
I don't have to care now.
Today.
A poem that probably has flawed logic, but I'll fix that tomorrow.  If you have a complaint just leave a comment.
Jan 2019 · 313
Neurotypical
Matthew Jan 2019
Just because I was forced to make myself appear normal to everyone else.
Doesn't mean I am normal.
Jan 2019 · 1.1k
Your Bloodied Carpet
Matthew Jan 2019
You watch as the blood from my wrist trickles onto your carpet.
Paying no mind until it starts to stain
I whisper,
"I'm sorry; please help me"
You roll your eyes and usher me out
of your comforting, inviting home
into the cold, desolate outside.
Crimson tears form in my eyes
raising my voice,
"I need your help!"
Instead, you give me an ignorant smile
before you slam the door.
An incomprehensible scream for acknowledgement exits my body
Peering through the window,
I see you cover my bloodstain with a rug.
You would rather act as if it never existed
than try to stop the blood or simply clean the stain.
I'm now outside;
being left to rot in the earth
So instead I will stain your flower bed.
Here's the meaning I got from my poem.  From personal experience, people to like to act like there's a problem with your depression or suicidal tendencies until it bleeds into their lives.  Then, they act still barely acknowledge the problem and try to erase from their lives.  They don't try to help us when we need it more than ever.  It's about what we really need.  We need someone to acknowledge that we have a problem and make strides to help that problem instead of acting as if nothing happened. The poem is saying that it's better for people to help those in pain than to be ignorant.  If you don't, then it just ends up causing the stain to get bigger and more public.
Jan 2019 · 412
Escapism in Dreams
Matthew Jan 2019
A Dream of a sun
beating down on our bodies
skin sweating
as we laugh
fatuous days
going by
as we smile
Perfect tranquility

But I woke up...
Things never last forever.  I love poems with bittersweet endings because they reflect reality more than anything else.
Jan 2019 · 299
Anti-Poetry
Matthew Jan 2019
Little words
So small and sweet
and giving to all
they are something to all

that's why i think they can be better than big words
...
Trying to write in a different diction
Jan 2019 · 124
Wrong Love
Matthew Jan 2019
A loving, Caring, little boy.
Tossed around as if just a toy,
with bruises hidden from their sight.
The nervous manner caused by fright.
who did not even know his plight.
A laugh of pain through endless nights.
this hatred building up to spite.
attempts to cause a final fight
though, knives don't usually bring us joy
This time he told a clever ploy.
My first try at iambic tetrameter
Jan 2019 · 358
The Old Young Couple
Matthew Jan 2019
Hand in hand
they look toward the sky.
red and stormy.
A promise was made.
their grips tighten.
flashbacks of warm days
before the fire consumes them.
Jan 2019 · 3.4k
Staggering Footsteps
Matthew Jan 2019
a very small step that goes to the next.
It leaves and stops with fair hesitation.
Waiting and Restless.
Starting and Stopping
The movements going fast.
The feet, stomping.
The running, the saving, the freedom.
The tendency to always precede them.
Blur of speed
Never Stopping
The world asking
for silence
Quick response of
Stomp! Stomp!
The sound of a quickening run
Jan 2019 · 415
I was a fallen Angel
Matthew Jan 2019
When I was young enough to know that I did not fit in.
I proposed that I was an angel
that fell from the heavens and lost their wings.
All I had to do to make friends was find them.

So I spent the next day frantically searching for my wings.
Sobbing with despair when I never found them,
and looking at the sunset only slightly out of reach.

Even now, I never found my wings.
But I did find other fallen angels.
A rare poem of hope.  I really like this one. Do you know what that means? I don't know.
Jan 2019 · 919
Lovely Mother
Matthew Jan 2019
A moment she was already starting to repress.
That would never come back again...
Though, she gained weight.
Something she couldn't deny.
It was her boyfriend's
she told
them all.

It was okay.
They threw
her a shower
and gave her
gifts.

She smiled
for her
baby.

To come
in
many
months.

Oblivious
to
the

b
l
o
o
d

spil
lin
n
g

from


her



thighs.
A story of an expecting mother
Jan 2019 · 231
What we are
Matthew Jan 2019
Who are we but walking husks shaped by our experiences?
Can we hold others accountable for our actions?
Should we blame our parents and friends for our own decisions?
Do we have any free will?
What is free will?
Do we have hereditary inclinations?
Will we always make the same decision even if we went backward in time?

Sometimes, the only thing you can do to be a better person in surround yourself with better people.
Jan 2019 · 490
My worst Fear
Matthew Jan 2019
I have talent, I suppose
But what I truly fear is
not r
        e
          aching
f  a  r
enough.
I really despise this poem.
Jan 2019 · 280
Free Speech
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