We are not being foolish when we decide
that our life
is not worth living.
We should not be treated as if we didn't know what we were doing.
A choice is made that does not ignore the possibilities of what could happen.
So when we need help,
we only ask that we are treated
as a person that made that decision.

Rather than someone who does not know what is best for them.

I know you've never seen me before,
but I've always been here.
Just invisible

I know the day this becomes my old poetry

I will see all its faults
"This was wrong and that was false"
I'll say in one big fit.

There won't be anything
that makes me angry
besides my own accidents.

Maybe it's ironic
how I'll inquire
why it made an impact.

I look now with love,
later with loathing,
and long ago with the least.

He would write his perfect poems.
Then, read it with his golden voice.
I hated his perfection
because I knew he was what I wanted to be.
He would smile and nod
whenever I shared my flawed poems.
He could do everything I had ever even thought about wanting to do effortlessly,
and I could not accept that.
I hated how I knew I would never amount to him.
But why do I want to kiss him?

Sometimes, when the pain is too much to handle...
My brain commands me to scream
My soul tells me to stop,
but my brain won't listen
I'm on the ground crying and screaming
Everyone is judging
Saying I can't handle my emotions
i need to stop, but i really can't
Why aren't other screaming like me?

I watch the clock tick my life into ruin
I look on as it laughs at my cowardice
Knowing it will be here eternally
Time that is limited
Yet I wait
Pondering relentlessly about you

When you give your paralyzing stare of kindness, I am again halted
But I find my courage(in a flask)
To meet you away from everyone else
I should have said those words forbidden by him
But his discipline put me in shackles
You won’t like what I do though it won’t happen again
As I press my lips against yours
There’s no resistance
There’s true love
But I feel eyes of pure crimson hate behind me
The eyes of him
My father
And Now time is no longer in my favor

Do you ever realize?
That we can never be perfect because we
are individuals.
A world of perfection means a world without individuality.
So we will remain enterally in chaos.

Do you ever want to be naive?
Yearn to be in those moments when you were foolish
Before knowledge tainted our innocence

When I was young and she was young we would always play
Hide and go seek and look out for me
Whatever would pass the day

When I was a boy and she was a girl we never did well in school
The teachers would scold but we were too bold
to not play the part of the fool

When I was older and so was she we shared our first true kiss
A fearless midnight under the moonlight
Both caught up in our bliss

We she was my love and I was her love we both died a little
And with that done I started to cry
For I knew my feelings were brittle

But when she wanted to sing I wanted our son
I cried and told her no
But said it had already been done.

We were as radiant as the moon that shined in our eyes
Because we were back to those days laughing in its light
A nameless, hopeless choir reminiscent of the moments of adagio
The ceaseless winds that we transcribed into a language all could understand
Never knowing we were writing nocturnes of our own beauty
But it brought me to that moment when the moon failed to shine
That’s when the chorus began.
To remind of the grave, and the lost
The accelerando of the sun
To beat down our fatuous darkness
The bluest skies
To block out the romantic music that had given me my soul
Yet stole yours
As I eagerly watch the sun set it’s greedy gold body down the horizon I hear a cadence
But it’s sly and deceptive
Now the sun rising as if the night had passed my love
Stealing or shielding me from that reprise
To live in this purgatory of repeats.