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Empire Jun 2019
Disorder
The word still echoes in my head
Surreal and complicated
Such a heavy word
Even though it's been almost a year
Since things were so bad
And I heard the words:
Anxiety Disorder
Eating Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Followed by the words:
Depression
Phobia
Medication
Each one like a lightning strike
I can feel them in my veins
But the most frightening
Was hearing the prefix:
Severe
I'm still not honest enough with myself about some of these words...
Sabrina May 2019
Age 15 the beginning and the end
Age 19 and the scars still haven't mend

I was a fool with nothing to lose
Letting lust become my muse

It happened fast without protection
In his eyes lay no affection.

A month passes with no monthly time
The panic inside me starts to climb.

Lie to my mother to get a test
Sure enough there's a baby in the nest.

Inside my stomach lay a beating heart
Anxiety and depression begin to start.

Scared beyond belief and still at school
Feeling like I had just been a tool.

Could I handle being a single mother
Abortion? I had to pick one or the other.

Or maybe I didn't have to after all.
Spotting begins to start and I start to bawl.

To many emotions in too young a girl.
My body killed a life, guilt begins to swirl.

Age 15 the beginning and the end
Age 15 and made a life ascend.

Age 19 and the scars still haven't mend
Age 19 and still no way to amend.
Warning this might Trigger you if you have gone through a Miscarriage. Please be safe out there.
Sally A Bayan Mar 2019
1:00 am, 3:00 am ... most nights,
thirty minutes without warning,
restless air, chokes the pipes
when controlled, it explodes in bits
of yellow, orange , dark red and gray
skull seems to crack ... or , is it breaking now?
a darkness follows a wheezing,
desiring to spew all malaise  
expelling bad air, while chasing fresh air
praying a stillness soon rules .... . but , no,
the painful exertion persists
that  disturbing noise just goes on,
and racks one's whole being ... one's world
every rib quivers ... every fiber throbs  
eyes and veins start to bulge
as if to burst on their own...

,, ,, , for a while, a calm occurs ... yet ,
another dreaded episode lurks...

on a dark, restless night such as this,
one can only imagine
~ ~ ~ the undulating waves ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ and the blue waters ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ of the tranquil sea ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~
Sally
~ ~ ~

Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
March 20, 2019

#dreaded episodes  #malaise  #severe cough
Masha Yurkevich Feb 2019
Just a tear.
Oh, don't worry; it's just fear.
Only on the inside,
it's something much
more severe.
Matthew Jan 2019
Endless Apologies
only bears
Agonizing Pain
Finnick Jul 2018
It feels like darkness surrounding me.
It feels like monsters are everywhere.
It feels like I can’t do anything to stop it.
It feels like I’m saying too much.
It feels like I’m not allowed to be here.
It feels like I can’t stop repeating myself.
If feels like I’m Broken.
I suffer from Severe Anxiety, so honestly, not everyone will get this.
I believe that every conscious being travels this road
Where nothing is completely given or reached
Where everything completely stop but never goes
This road diverged into either the left path or right
plagued with the  decision of making a choice
The pressure of that inner voice
Speaking to you
of the consequences of each action
the good never out weigh  the bad
The consequences never worth the results
The action of always sacrificing something in terms of ganging
It is the  road that you cannot venture away
No matter where you turn
you always end up returning
this road is one who tampers with your mental capacity
Your morality
Your happiness
Your individuality
It happened too those before
and will to those after me
what a progressional tragedy
Christina Cox Jul 2016
I don't know where
it stops


or


starts


starts. starts. starts.
Again.
And Again.

Writing TO DO list.
-Laundry
-Dishes
-Bills
-**** Myself



And the pen

.

The hand hovers and the mind ___


-Bills
-Kgul Mytyfw
-BILLS
-Sweep
-Mop
Christina Cox Dec 2015
The face and body of a million others
because of the 21st chromosome.
The movements and quirks of a million others
because of a little spectrum.
The testers and medication of a million others
because of a tiny chemical.
Down syndrome. Autism. Diabetes.

The most loving person I know.
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