When death finds me,
May it find me alive.

When the time comes,
May death find me—
before I find my self.

Never in my life would I ever want to come back to a mistake like you—

Never once,

Never was,

Never am,

Never will.

You might have all the forever within grasp,

because you’re a ghost,

and ghosts have forever.

But not everyone is you,

not everyone is privileged with any next lifetime.

Time with you is a time wasted,
wasted with all of your over-glorified ghost—

that the devil himself is scared of you,

even your only shadow leaves you in the dark.

And there you are,
there you always will be;

Cast out alone in the void of darkness for eternity—

bequeathed with eternal guilt;

for you are nothing much,

but a mere shadow;

a ghost of the lingering past

(not) worth reminiscing.

Aceptar lo que es,
Agradecer lo que fue,
Confiar en lo que será.

One of these days,
I'll get to speak my vow
to whomsoever the great love of my life is.

============================

"I’m so grateful that we cross paths in this very lifetime.
Through the fire and through it all,
never really thought we’d make it this far.

With all the time we have left,
may it be filled with blessings, joy and peace;
not just for ourselves but also for others.

Because I know we are here to be the light for the world,
that our encounter was fated,
that it has always been written in the stars
ever since the dawn of time.

With all the time we have left,
I’d encourage us to create all the memories we’ll carry
to the end of time in the afterlife.

Having our souls united as one in a harmonious union
truly means the whole universe to me
and it’s something I sincerely cherish with my all.

I will always fight for us, for our lives
And I will never give up on us,
For as long as we both shall live.

Thus, I vow—
However long we’re privileged to be each other’s counterparts,
However long we’re privileged to be each other’s wives,
to fill the world
with all the love and the joy you deserve;

‘til the end of time,
to the ends of the world,
‘til death do us part,
‘til death we do art.

As above, so below,
As within, so without.
As the universe, so the soul;
And so it is."

============================

As within, so without---

As the universe, so the soul.

And so it is.

I'm done.

With my life (path).

You dismantled my ego like how she broke my heart.

You,

your boundaries,

and your strong sense of self.

Allow me to detach from us.

I may be foulmouthed to the core,

let alone when we have our very own

\\ tête-à-tête //

but honey---

I know my heart is genuine.

You are nothing but a pretty face---

and for all the words birthed from your soft,
pouty,
supple,
unkissed sunkissed lips---

or the ones written down with your tiny,
\\ slanted //
handwriting;

they are nothing but empty,

meaningless blatherskites.

The scent of autumn

trespasses by the name

of our paths---

as our paths intertwine

with one another;

scraping its way out

to welcome the cold,

but warm, and familiar

wintertime.

This unholy libidinal gratification that we share;

lips of ours, interlocked,
strands of hairs, intertwined,
warm, shortened breaths, exchanged,
subtle moans sang; like songs of siren---

made me lock your head with these thighs,
as I squirm in ecstasy of pleasure,
while grippin' the sheet tightly,
ready to embark on another arousing journey.

One cooked in Melbourne,
the other cooked in Jakarta.

One finished her medium-rare steak,
the other had not.

One went to wash the dishes,
the other watched her while smiling sheepishly.

They were 4 hours apart.
Little did they know---
that it was going to be their
last quality time
spent together

in the name of

"You and I both together.".

The Empress is about to take Her Throne.

The Queen awaits patiently;

for after The Long Wait,

they both shall reunite

and reign together

in a Communion of Alchemical Union---

of two halves of a soul; from the same soul core.

The Light in me is too bright to fail.

So bright, that its iridescent ray ****** my soul.

When you smoke a cigarette;
have you ever
tasted the tar
far bitter than your life?

How do we skip our life to death?
Where no one would ever mourn for us;
Nor to yearn for our mere existence?

She said,

“See? I knew you’d be back.”

And he said,

“We’re home; finally.”

You’re the soul to my poetry;

for my forever rests with you.

With all due respect,
I’d like to request.

This is not something I expect,
I don’t need another quest.

Take her away from me if You must,

but—

don’t take my minstrelsies away.

Maybe, I’m just not that compassionate,

or perhaps, I’m just not that enou—

**** it,

I’ve had enough that I’m not good enough!

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Yes?

“Could you please stop existing?”

“B-but, why?!”

“No one really loves you. I mean, they do, but only if it’s beneficial to them.”

“How—“

“**** yourself. Begone. For good. Nobody needs you, after all.”

“I thought I’ve loved my self well enough? Which part of me is still not good enough!?”

“Who cares? No one cares about you. They need you to stop existing. Go die and begone. For good.”


———————//———————


Alas, that’s how she ends her complete existence. For good.

Embittered.
Worn out.

The soul yearns for its long lost counterpart,
only to find itself undulating
on the waves of uncertainty.

The soul has had enough.