Compromise feels
only like my complete demise;
I am solely right.

Tell me,

what are the things that fascinate you most?

Things that make your eyes sparkle aglow,

that soothe your awry, unrest, stirred soul.

Some are fascinated with their fiery, burning passion of life,

and some others are fascinated with their own death.

I am one of the latter.

As the midnight snows
my desire to be
another's grows
to be as beautiful
as a rose
seems to be my new pose
I'll sit here waiting
for my love, at last, to show
that true love is not just something that I suppose

Sweat trickles down my nose
And onto my gasping lips
Begging for a gulp of air,
Begging for sweet relief
As my legs start to go numb
And my ears ring, head pounds
But I keep going and going...
Until I hear it cry out
“2 miles, Workout Complete”

You know, it's funny,
I had that ringing in my ear.
You know, that funny feeling,
A tinglin' in my ear.
So I went a snoopin'
And it's what I've always feared.
He was creepin'
He was sleepin'
With all the volunteers.

"Volunteer?"

With all the volunteers.

"Volunteers! What?"

Yes, with all the volunteers.
He was rollin'
He was dippin'
He was flippin'
He was eatin'-

"Volunteers!"

With all the volunteers.

I sought out just what I've become

Numb to trepidation, apposed to emotions
I choke on sensations, opening to oceans
Of blood soaked remnants I can't fathom
Begin to comprehend, or otherwise justify
To myself

And It's square on my shoulders

If I like it or not

Sating my lust for life, finding out how
To revel in spite, in spite of myself, honestly
Grating, the thoughts that haunt me through
Sleepless hours and all the mindless rambling I do
To myself

I wanted to change, and I did

I did change

Bought at the current rate
Life condensed to a price
I wanted everyone to pay
Besides me. Never me

I thought it free, until someone came around with
The promise that they'd take it all away

Breaking ground, like the words I said
What I say in my day to day
Breaking ground, foray into something
I'd call a grave mistake

Try to justify it, screaming at the sky
Trying hard to hide what I swear I left behind
Blame it on society. A scapegoat that never falters
Hurdles that I prayed would change, and yet
They never falter
So, I blame it on you, and then you blame it on me

I blame it on myself

...

I blame myself.

What it always comes down to

And I turned into what I had always planned to turn into
Go figure.

It's scary
How it feels
Like to be
A leaf
Once you've fallen
At the ground
A light frail leaf
With no chance to fight
The strong tempest

It's scary
How the wind
Will be able
To blow you far
Away where you
Won't be found
Lost and floating,
wanting to rest
(But you can't)