hihihi

i heard that you want to
die die die

but please don't because you're so 
fly fly fly

like oh my god, it makes me want to
cry cry cry

oh
why why why

would such a lovely human being like you, want to die die die?

i know you might be
sigh sigh sighing right now

and looking a bit
down down down

but that's
okay okay okay

because listen to me when i
say say say

that one
day day day

you'll realise how important you are
in this
life life life

so love put down that
knife knife knife

because in my
eyes eyes eyes

you matter so
much much much.

with love and such, mia. <3

i have become obsessed with the idea or theory,

that death may be the only way i'll finally be able to breathe,

that death will be the only way i'll be happy and filled with glee,

that death will be the only way i'll be able to understand peace,

that death will be the only way, i can actually be f r e e.

death
death
death,
please come and rescue me.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO DIE,
I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY,
BUT MORE SO,
MENTALLY
AND
EMOTIONALLY.
I WANT MY FEELINGS
TO DIE
SO
I MAY NO
LONGER CRY
I'M TIRED OF MY THOUGHTS
SUFFOCATING ME
AND MAKING IT
HARD FOR ME
TO BREATHE
DON'T YOU SEE?
THESE THINGS
ARE RUINING ME?
JUST DIE,
PLEASE,
SO
I
CAN
BE
FREE
AND
LEARN
TO
SURVIVE
.

even if you were to fill my heart
with every star
that shines across the universe,
even if you were to fill my heart
with endless amount of tears, and scars,
even you were to fill my heart
with oceans and oceans colored in blue
,

you were the stars in my eyes,

the blue to my skies,

the truth in my lies,

the art i couldn't keep inside,

[ b o o m]

then you became the evil in my eyes,

the thunder in my skies,

the secrets in my lies,

and the cold heart i kept inside,

[ b r e a t h e ]

why?

five senses.*

Touch--
her skin was soft and smooth like a canvas, and being an artist, I had an irresistible urge to paint her with the love burning in my heart.

Sight--
My eyes reflected the dark and her eyes reflected the stars, when our eyes connected from afar we became a constellation within our hearts.

Hearing--
her voice, it's so soft, it's so divine, no matter what comes out of her mouth, it always sounds like a tune from Apollo's harp

Smell--
her scent is unique, a masterpiece of a perfume : the perfect concoction of all the right fragrant flowers on this Earth...Her scent is peculiar, an aromatic one that will never leave my memory.


Taste--
her lips infused my taste buds with an unbelievably magical taste of strawberries.

Touch---*
her skin was soft, but rough at the same time. Almost as if it were a canvas, waiting to be coloured.

i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate you
i hate y o u

you search deeply in her eyes for pieces of me

you seem to fail everytime
and give her up easily
just like one. two. three.

you fall asleep
hoping and dreaming
to erase memories of me

but you're too blind to
be able to search & see
for the special key
that'll help you
forget me

for i am your biggest regret
your most stressing debt
your worst threat
but don't fret or
sweat

i'm sure you'll
forget our little
duet someday
.

i don't mean to push you away.
i really don't.
i just need to know that
when i do,
you'll pull me
closer
and ask
me to
s t a y
.

stop.
Why are you constantly pulling my self esteem down like gravity?

stop.
all i've ever been was nice, but now your annoying comments are beginning to sound like squeaking mice.

stop.
everytime i hear you call my name i cringe, everytime you talk (about) with me i feel like im gonna go insane.

stop.
i used to enjoy our conversations, until you took it to far- way past my limits- or destanation.

stop.
just leave me the heck alone, and stop. Just stop.

'Mia! What did you want to tell me?'

**Oh, nothing.

Girl
/gərl/
-a female child.*

Girl
means i am not allowed to have an opinion unless i am labled as a feminist.

Girl
means i am not allowed to run as fast as boys.

Girl
means that i can't become president.

Girl
means that i am not as strong as the other boys.

Girl
means that i will never be as sucessful as most men.

Girl
means that i have to wear dresses and bows.

Girl
means that i have to be a stay at home mom when i'm older.

Girl
means that i have to cook and clean daily.

Girl
means-

That maybe i don't have to listen to society,

maybe i can face reality and prove everyone wrong

And after that i'll teach everyone how to play mahjong, kidding.

but really, i hope this doesn't sound silly

but i feel that i can be more than just a house mom,

maybe i can make bombs
instead -

or i can work hard and go to college, and become sucessful just like other men

i will not let my heart be trapped in a den

because of what society says about my gender

i don't want to stay home, and make things with a blender

I want to be free, and become a love-ly graphic designer


or maybe i'll have a finer

job one day.

but believe me when i say, i will not let my gender define who i am and what i will become.

*Girl
\gərl/
-A strong and lovely human being, who will not listen to society; but instead prove to everybody the amazing person she can be.

GIRL

we say goodbye more then we say hello.

your grades do not define you
your grades do not define
your grades do not
*your grades do.

i remember when i was young,
i used to be afraid of graveyards,
i would cry, because of all the lives that have been snatched away,
but now that im older and a bit colder, i go to the graveyards,
and whisper,

*"You guys don't know how lucky you are."

she was a brown-skinned girl,
who was trapped in this world
struggiling with idenity,
she couldn't find any serenity,
she no longer had dignity,
she was too white to be black,
as people told her and laughed,
she was too black to be white,
this was now turning into a
fight/
between her and idenity,
she needed to find serenity
so finally in may, she woke
up one day and decided to be
g r e y.

G r e y [gray]
of a color intermediate between black and white, as of ashes or an overcast sky.

but little did she know
that her skin colour
didn't define her
for it was the art in
her heart that did.

he has this thing, where he

makes me feel like i matter,

though sometimes im

afraid that its fake

that my heart is going to shatter,

that my heart is at stake.

he does this thing that,

makes my heart pour

with art that i

never knew existed inside of me

before.

he does this thing,  

that makes me go insane,

and use God's name in vain.

he says these things,

that makes me feel the heat rise

to my cheeks

that makes my eyes

grow wide in disbelief.

he does this thing,

/that makes me step into
a fantasy
and out of reality.\


why is it that he does this to me? do i like- no no no. I mean. But i feel like i never want to let him go go go.

he does this thing to me,
and it's tearing me apart.

he doesn't see,
the lovely
art he brings out in me.

can someone just please tell me what is this feeling?

he* came inside my soul
    and took everything away

starting from the pain
the worry
  the sadness
      the scars and bruises

lastly
  he took my heart as well

and all of my fears & pain
  began to grow strangely dim
       when i was with him.

all
you
did
was say hello
and within that word
i could alrealdy feel the flowers
within my lungs
beginning to grow.

you are* the blood running through my veins

you keep me somewhat sane

you are the reason why i'm breathing

you are the reason why my heart keeps beating

i know this isn't a lot of words
and this may seem absurd

**but i guess what i'm trying to say is
i love you.

no matter how many languages i speak

not a single soul will understand **how much i love you.

she was my heart

i was his oxygen

we couldn't function with out each other

now she's gone

now he's gone

my heart is failing

i'm barely breathing

i need her

i need him

but now she's gone*

**and he doesn't miss me anymore

she inhaled his toxic words,
and let them travel down to
her lungs,
which caused them to ,
poison her heart,
but within
that poisoned heart,
birthed beautiful art,
which lead to a new start
.

i feel as if though i've been in the dark for awhile now,

and it's taking forever for the sun to rise,

i'm fighting all of these nightmares, fears, stress, and etc.

mr. sun, where are you?

i need to see you rise so i can too.

everytime i finally get over you
you always seem to crawl back
kind of like an anxiety attack
and of course
there's always this undeniable force
that draws me back to you
you then promise you'd never leave
but you know what they say
don't make promises you can't keep
i don't know why i always seem to stay
maybe it's the stars in your eyes, that i wish upon
to believe
what you
say is
true
but it never is.
all i want to do is get over you.

I love you like
picasso loves his paintbrush

I love you like
beetohven loves his piano

I love you like
lindsey sterling loves her violin

I love you*
I love you
**I loved you.

the dogs are barking even louder than before,
it seems as if though america is waging war,
everyone is locking their doors,
no one knows who to trust anymore,
i'm sitting here looking left and right,
not knowing why there are all of these fights,
it's getting harder for me to sleep at night,
my nightmares are getting worse,
this life is a curse.