focused praying mantis still as a stick
clueless prey three times its size-
best friend of gardeners

Mars InSight Mission
revealing the heart of Mars-
boarding pass received
two million plus names on board
earning frequent flyer miles

A Tomcat and Queen fought over fiercely
Where to educate their brilliant kitty
They agreed upon two
CATS Boston and Purr-due
Thus avoiding a cat-astrophe

Toucan
Two can

cool green leaves rustling
hot red tin roof expanding-
freedom of movement
stiff arthritic limbs longing
go - exercise caution - stop

Yoshino cherry tree, blossoms glistening in the sun
Most vibrant display of white-pink blossoms, with faint almond fragrance
Delightful moment, overcome by a massive sneeze attack

'Morning,
Mary!

               -'Morning,
               Martin

Meet
My
Main
Man
Mike. . .

               -'Morning,
               Mike.

                                   ~'Morning,
                                   Mondo
                                   Mama!

               -Mondo
               Mama???
               Meaning??

Mary,
Mike's
Merely
Merry
Meeting
Mary :)

               -MEANING,
               MIKE???

                                   ~Mary,
                                   My
                                   Mistake,
                                   Mostly
                                   Merriment,
                                   Merely
                                   Mischievous ;)

Mary,
Mike's
Mistake. . .

               -Mike's
               Manipulative
               Mansplaining—
               Misogynist!

                                   ~Meh. . .


© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

Howard Robard Hughes
Famously rich recluse
Dreams led him to the lap of luxury
Followed by nightmarish mysophobic OCD

Rich ******* aviator Howard Hughes
With movie starlets kept himself amused
Dated Katherine Hepburn
Bette Davis took her turn
And still more, which kept the tabloids confused

Born Howard Robard Hughes to a rich family
With English, Welsh and French Huguenot ancestry
Enjoyed a successful multi-faceted business career
But aviation and aerospace were his favorite frontier

Poetic delicacies,

Chilled haiku sake,

Sautéed clerihew au jus,

Free-range limericks

baked to perfection,

Footle fries,

Yum!

Surreal

So real

dollops of dander
mighty mousers meander—
cats with cattitude


© 2020 Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

it's the end of the world as we know it - time I had some time alone

Seismic—
                      Shock wave of energy
                    swelling ocean waves,
                  Powerfully driven
                like a freight train
              rolling fast as a jet,
            Open ocean ninja stealthily
          racing toward landfall’s
        most evil betrayal,
      Rip-tide on steroids
    sweeping away
  unsuspecting souls
                                        — Tsunami




© 2020 by Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

The Japanese word "tsunami" translates as "harbor wave" in English.

moustached monoku critic channels Seinfeld - no haiku for you

My twenty poetry collections
divided into subsections
listed below as follows:
Eleven are public
the rest are private
but the total
showing is
zero
Why?



© 2020 Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

John Winston Ono Lennon
From Britain to Brooklyn, decked in denim
Controversial through his political and peace activism
Felled by Mark David Chapman's act of barbarism

Trying to relax
on my high-rise roof
I notice you across the street on
your balcony seemingly aloof
listening to vintage Carly Simon
          "... you say we can keep our love alive"

You stare my way and enthusiastically waive
          "Babe all I know is what I see"

I hesitate, smile and then return the gesture
          "The couples cling and claw"

As if on cue you stand and press against the railing
         "and drown in love's debris"

Still smiling as my heart beats faster
          "... we'll soar like two birds through the clouds"

"What's your name?" you playfully cry out
          "But soon you'll cage me on your shelf"

"Who wants to know?" is my surprising reply
          "I'll never learn to be just me first by myself"

Suddenly flashbacks hijack my thinking
          "... it's time we moved in together
          and raised a family of our own, you and me" 
 
Why is this happening?  Why am I sinking?
          "... that's the way I've always heard it should be
          you want to marry me, we’ll marry"

I hear your beseeching, unintelligible shouts as I retreat
Painful memories open like an oubliette under my feet—
       p
           l
              u
                  n
                      g
                          i
            ­                 n
                                 g

Lost and languishing in isolation's labyrinth





© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

Doctor's
Boxers

Lulu
Sulu

The monster wanted love from the maiden
And gold that the townspeople paid him
When it came time to collect
Him the maiden did reject
To contain his wrath none could persuade him

world's trouble

dark sky...

depression subtle

i deny...

emotions muddle

i sigh...

thoughts befuddle

i belie...

tears puddle

i cry...


God subtle

I comply...

Divine cuddle

I rely...

Believer's huddle

I ally...

Blessings double

Blue sky...

afraid of nothing
fly swatter at the ready-
the cockroach has wings

Baking, broiling, blindingly bright, blistering sun,

super scorching, sweltering, sizzling sand

the kabob that is my body searing, skewered

Deceptively blue skies devoid of any deliverance

no cavalry of clouds coming to convey compassion

Rising balloon-like bubbles of hot air

causing distant objects to ripple and dance

shimmering in the atmospheric boil

Falling to my knees, I detect in the distance

glimmering patches of blue and green—Mirage!

A maniacal mime of molten mockery

deriding my dreadful demise




Mark Toney © 2019

Le Cordon Bleu sommelier in the know
Discussed wine pairing with patrons aglow
"What does your order include?"
"Roast turducken frankenfood"
"Then I recommend a dry Portmanteau!"


© 2020 Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

we are frozen in time - stuck in the muck of the present


© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

The bar-tailed godwit
caught birddom by surprise
When word got out
just how far this bird flies

A juvenile Limosa lapponica,
satellite tag 2-3-4-6-8-4
flew nonstop from Alaska
to the Tasmanian shore!
13,560 kilometers nonstop,
eleven days and nights
A new world record for
marathon bird flights

“From Alaska to Tasmania?
The devil, you say!”
cried ravens and crows,
“Every bird knows
Claiming to fly 8400 miles
To the Tasmanian isles—
is the height of audacity!
No bird has the capacity
We protest with pugnacity
Demanding veracity!”

The godwits conveyed
a very chill groove
They had, after all
nothing to prove
having set the prior
world records in ‘20 and ‘21
A controversy was brewing
Would their achievements
be undone?

A commission was appointed
for a bird’s-eye review
into the facts of the matter
the truth to pursue
Wise owls were chosen
to adjudicate this claim
To settle once and for all
who deserved the acclaim

First item considered
had scientific backing
Since satellite data
Allowed accurate tracking
Of the tagged young bird’s
ultramarathon flights
The facts indisputable
No need for bird fights,
ending investigation into
this migration gyration

Bar-tailed godwits awarded
the Oiseau de Plume
for being the farthest nonstop
flying bird in the room
The Arctic terns too
received acclamation
For flying the farthest
In their migration—pole to pole,
24,000 miles each year
causing most birds present to
stand up and cheer
in spontaneous applause—
But not all birds were willing
To concede their cause

Displaying proclivity
to resist the festivity
The crows and ravens
As they stormed out the door
vowed in unison, wings clenched,
“Nevermore!”





Mark Toney © 2022

Based on a true story with poetic license added for spice.

When was the last time you flew 8400 miles nonstop? A bar-tailed godwit flew nonstop over 8400 miles from Alaska to Tasmania from October 13 through 24, 2022, setting a new world record for nonstop bird flight.

Rookie Italian racer Stu Gotti
Wicked fast in his bright red Ferrari
With one mile to go
Gotti got real slow-
Mad dash to the nearest Porta Potti

Noble heritage they cannot erase
Ancestor’s plight laid bare for all to see
Tribal identity etched in each face
Invincible spirit their pedigree
Various attempts meant to “civilize”
Expanding demands for more and more land

Pogroms by forced removal terrorized
Extreme suffering they had to withstand.
Their unshakable resolve saw them through
Providing strength to mitigate their fears
Lives lost, yes, their memory they’ll renew
Endless remembrance of the Trail of Tears.

Good night my little wee one
It's time to close your eyes
If you'll but wait till morning
You'll get a big surprise
The sun will smile and greet you
In ever changing skies
For mom and daddy love you
Your the apple of our eyes

A teacher with an always late student
Looked for ways to influence improvement
She tried best she could
But it did little good
Now the student remains mostly truant

My disquieting thoughts strike at night in the wee hours
As if born along by the autumn winds and bracing cold
Persistent as a fever and fierce as thunderstorms
What can be forgiven and what cannot?
I fall asleep to another night of uncertainly

I awaken to a new day of endurance
My spirit ablaze with hope can cope
With feet steady and face to the wind
Transforming the toughest trial into triumph
Because beyond the pain the prize is seen

Napoleon Bonaparte
1769 Corsica is where he got his start
One of the greatest commanders in history
His manner of death a 200-year-old mystery

Napoleon played it close to the vest
With his armies he was always the best
But 'twas nothing he could do
When he met his Waterloo
Lived his last few years under house arrest

Napoleon drank the water and headed for the loo
He did nothing different than you or I could ever do
Be kind to your skin and protect your bone-a-parts
Remember that's where good hygiene starts!

Dim sum
Then some

Sun scorching, sweltering, sizzling beach

My hardened soles resist the heat

Sunglasses shielding my eyes

White cotton ball clouds glide

Along deep blue skies

But I’m blue too

Intensely

Missing

You

white cotton ball clouds
waltzing along deep blue skies-
ill wind steps on toes

sixty-five million
broken hearts shattered, not glass-
the glass ceiling waits

An emperor spoke in poetic verse
Which led to fame for him at first
But after some time became a curse
For the emperor had no prose.

Poetic measure determined his fate
The body politic could not relate
Leaving people in a befuddled state
Yes the Emperor had no prose.

Seeking solutions from all his wise men
Beseeching them each again and again
"When will poetic proclivity end?
For I'm the Emperor and have no prose!"

Long and hard the wise men thought
With no answers to the solutions sought
So they hemmed and hawed, yelled, argued and fought,
Still the Emperor had no prose.

The Emperor ended his quest in time
No cure for his affliction could he find
Relinquished the throne and became a mime
At least he was able to pose!

Annual pilgrimage begins
thousands flocking to our doors
braving elements of chance
what does new year have in store?
As they enter our domains
obedient to adverts’ beckoning
is there hope for addled brains
as they face their day of reckoning?




© 2020 Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

bold arachnophobes
**** spiders as best they can...
don't burn down the house

moonbeams bathe the night
auroras shimmering bright-
fireflies delight

My memories took flight from Spring's rookery,
Nurtured by Summer's warm seas and
Trade winds soft under blue skies,
Reinforced by Autumn's harvest and happenstance

Pray my memories remain deep within me like a
Fortress securely established on a rock-mass,
High on golden hills, impregnable,
As Winter's cruel seas and merciless winds approach

Intense
In tents

When I was coming up
momma and daddy both said
"Finish your plate, son.  Eat the rest!"
More often than not there'd be something
I didn't like, or didn't like enough
and momma or daddy one would say
"Finish your plate.  Eat the rest!"

I'd eat a little more, ask to be excused,
momma or daddy would see my remnants
"Eat the rest, child!  Eat the rest!"
I'd eat a bit more. "May I be excused?"
"Listen to me, son, you best eat the rest!"
So I'd sit there, pitiful like, and eat the rest.

Reflecting on this, I am keenly aware
proponents on both sides argue 'beware'
Forcing a child to always finish their plate
can lead to obesity's worrisome fate
But letting them stop whenever they want
selfishly teaches life's lessons to flaunt

It doesn't matter which side you're on
I'll agree with you so let's move on
There's a deeper darker side to this
that I need to mention lest I be remiss
After year's of being told to eat the rest
is it possible I actually consumed "my rest"?

The rest I seek when I try to take a nap
The rest I pursue when I wear my CPAP
The rest that eludes me at work or at play
The question my wife asks me every day:

"Honey, were you able to get any rest?"

No, dear.  When I was a kid, I was forced to
finish my plate and eat the rest, so there's
none to be found.  I done ate it all.




© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

wheel thrown pottery
coils of clay willingly yield-
master potter's touch

"Uh oh, we encountered an error
           Making this page for you.
           We've been notified and
           will fix it asap."

Excuse me, but what's your
Definition of asap?
As slow as possible?

My HePo adventure begain
With great expectations
Each day I try to upload
My profile and cover photos
Again and again and again. . .
Always getting the 500 Error—
          "Uh oh, we encountered an error
           Making this page for you.
           We've been notified and
           Will fix it asap."

Really?  Imagine that!

Excuse me, but what's your
Definition of asap?
As slow as possible?
If you're not going to fix
The process for uploading pics
Then why don't you just
Be straightforward and honest?

I think I'll try to upload again!
          "Uh oh, we encountered an error
           Making this page for you.
           We've been notified and
           Will fix it asap."

Really?  Imagine that!
Ad infinitum  
Ad nauseam

Since I've become a HePoet
Each day you also ask for donations
          "You look good today.
           Why not donate?"
Each and every day
Over and over and over. . .
Well at least you say
"You look good today"
I think I'll try to upload again!
          "Uh oh, we encountered an error
           Making this page for you.
           We've been notified and
           Will fix it asap."

Really?  Imagine that!
Ad infinitum  
Ad nauseam

Oh, here's the donate blurb again—
          "You look good today.
           Why not donate?"
Well, I'm glad you asked!
My response is as follows—
          "Uh oh, I encountered an error
           Making a donation for you.
           I've been notified and
           Will fix it asap."
                    That is, as soon as my
                    Photos are uploaded
                    But I won't hold my breath. . .
                    Don't hold yours either. . .

Otherwise, I like your site
Please get it right
Please


© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

English
Anguish

Quacky little bird sound
When you hear it coming duck!
If farmer Ted is after you
You're running out of luck

Totin' shotgun and bird shot,
Son, he's aiming not to please
He's sneaking close behind you bird
You better hold your sneeze

Cuz your feathers are a tickler
Your bill is orange and bright
While the farmer is a stickler
He will sup on bird tonight

Lord love a duck!
Of him you mustn't run a fowl
Pain from your freshly plucked feathers
Will be enough to make you howl!

Yeti
SETI