To be honest, is to be kind
But my kindness can be mistaken by love

i want to live a little longer


                                                i want to meet more of my people that i ghosted


but sometimes we cant recoup that into something new


                                         really?! i thought we've lost hope in all of humanity..


we did, and that's why this world is now more suicidal.
if only we could accomplish more in this time,
but we yet again failed


                                                               we fought for equality 2 years ago
                                           and yet we still abuse the action of freedom..


police abuse their guns against black people


                                       why would it do them right or anyone for that matter?


because this world has an ugly habit of repeating itself.
just because you don't like the color of their skin,
****** orientation,religion,race,or any planet! for god knows..
its not right to take a life or beat it for that dislike..


                                                       some people disgust me with their sins
                                                like, we were born to love and not hate or ****
                                                             can this just end?

it cant..i'm sorry
society can be strenuous.

'They said you were the man they were looking for' I heard.
Turning the opposite direction 
I face him, touching his spine
As of how doubtful I am

'Let go of the man. He is 
Known to ****** you.' Elle spoke.
I know it's clear.
I cannot believe to imagine 
The love
The pain
The blessings I've encountered,

The soft spoken words shivered through my mouth 'I let you go.'

Your presence,
Is all the company I need.

The thought of you
Is all I imagine.

My eyes rolls back,
I breathe you in
I won't get enough unless she's exposed.

I need to know how much
You feel bitter for me,
When all I feel is love

She's like a light hearted wreak;
You don't seek nothing yet
For then, you see just her and a smile.
Open and she will be open.

Remembering the way
you pulled me close to your heart in the promises
of never breaking me

staying here, dancing in my mind
in public
in the dark
making the tensity in my body, release
telling me you love me, keeping yourself hostage
in my body,
i listen deeply.
i am home to you.

the problem with me is that I don't stop thinking
I am always at a loss for words, but when i'm faced with you
it feels like I have been waiting to speak with you my whole life.

the emotion that binds me
to the thoughts of wondering faces and misconceptions
I have stored, I can't face them all alone

But those soft dainty hands he lays on my cheek
like a whispering gust of wind

I feel him everyday

every day is a day I morn for him
but when the mind is filled with nothing but his lips
I feel founded by the memories

Take it easy
With everything I put my energy into
But to experience
And to hold
Would be everything to me
With you

I would like to speak to the person who is holding my heart upon their hands,
Do you know you've been holding it?
Do you realize the heart aches feel like stomach butterflies everytime I see you?

Day 1: I maybe thought you were picky and just wanted to flirt around or something.
Day 8: maybe I see things differently than last week, she feels like love but I'm afraid shes afraid of love.
Week 3: progression is part of the process

Good loving still feels good,
So fresh.
Are you here still for me? I'll always be here.
I sent a text about a few days ago along the lines of: ..I love you..etc.

I don't think I can put the emotions into words; it's too complex and so amazing still.

If I can say
the things I feel, the wind
would die out

If I can explain how hard I cry
my eyes would tell you
I am only surviving just for today

I submerge myself in my own sadness
believing I won't drown

My heart sinks
while my mind runs like blizzards
in a storm

Being so scared the past will drag me
I am only one person
who knows how it feels
when I am only punishing myself for it

The heart I am made with
can only handle so much of this

feels freely
filled with love and youthfulness,
I tend to to get out of hand
with new recipes and crafts,
journals with coffee
fill my mind with inspiration.

Wishing for brown and red leaves
feeling the cool air of fall
wrapped in warm clothing
and scarfs.
the feeling of hot coco
running inside my stomach
as I sit alone
fully overwhelmed with joy.

Its 3am
And you're still sleeping
I sit across with my eyes, all weeping
You lied about all the things you said to me.
Its January 2017
And I tend to fall on all my faults,
That you were never the right one for me.

It's almost the end of 2019
And I'm no longer in your sad story
I'm living, breathing, I finally found the one for me
I know I should never fall back with you,
Indecisive lies; your issue.

If you've seen me
If you've listened

If you read me,
I am fire.
Filled with ambition, love, an emotion.
I'm my own canvas
I write my story.
If I were a book, would you read through all
The pages from the hurting to success?

What is real to you
Will prosper.
I imagined her into my life
While I was writing blessings to him
For a new chapter; knowing it won't last.
I'm happy with all these pages,
Yet I'm still writing

It takes alot to say you are my everything
But learning to read your eyes
Says it all back

One day it won't feel like a trainwreck
Suddenly every weight will be lifted off
My shoulders.
I need this. What can I accomplish now?
This

Here

Now
You needed my time, I'm saying
Everything's fine; I mean everything happens but may not happen for our own benefit.

I always knew that you were trouble
But I let my selfishness get in it
And now I'm stuck with you
Creeping your way

I ask myself
Why do I do what I do?
I'm too loving
Too kind
Too generous,
I almost feel like it's never worth it
Because you just kept me
In a jar with pencils and sticky notes,

You use me, draw on me carefully
Enough to crack me
But never break me.

You
You say you'll always believe me.
You
You say you'll always catch me.

I'm leaving this place, pack your bags
I'm tired of loving from a far
And I don't want to leave you anymore,
I'm leaving the old house that I know so well.

You
You say you'll always need me the most.
You
You told me you were loving the way I kissed your heart.

I loved the way your eyes shine
In the dark places in the life of mine,
Because I don't want to leave you anymore.

Your car is outside my home,
I'm ready to come in for the truth
And prepared for your home to embrace my soul.

At this time
I'm not going to understand
The meaning of this,
But the kind of love they say is wrong,
Is the love I like.
Knowing the love you give
Makes the females trip;
My bad for falling,

My body trembles too pruly for others to love
who had no intention in
Keeping me forever.

Let yourself go
with all the doubts and losing battles
there is no way we can win them all

the cost of learning
we will learn to fly again
when we fall.

we also cannot lift bodies that
do not want to be rescued;
never settle for less when you can settle for more.

take it slow with process
and process will come to you,
maybe even greater

Truth be told
They never owned me
Yet, I still feel chained to
The down to the
Cold concrete floor. The servers to the owner
Who created minds for the evil and
Selfishness.
One who seeks for the good in
Manifesting
They took a toll on me and blessed
Me with unconditional love

There is nothing wrong with your body,

this is an example

this would be a perfect example

no one taught them not to grab

tell him to keep it in his pants

now we go feeling unsure of our bodies

I led my life to fighting the distractions

so did they

nothing is wrong with you or your body

Baby loves I'm trying talk to you.
There's a boy, and I don't quite know what to do.
Good things come to those who wait.
But patience ain't my thing.
The way he holds me, shows me he's the one, for sure the one.
Think I'd rather wait for him forever.
Instead of having him just for now.
And I just wanna look up at the moon.
I wonder if he's looking at it too.
And I don't know what to do

To fall in love, I'm all into love with all my heart
So deep in this feeling; to suffocate in it.
The beauty in these moments
The moments with you
I cherish.

The tenderness on your body isn't forever.
But for 16, a curled frown of a fiddled head
fern and forests
just wasted by the sun, your traveled generous thighs
in which we've become to tie boundlessly by.
The innocence and wisdom of the place my tongue has found
there by what all came from;
i'd advise as in the present, I lived in satiation
by the way she lit up candles,
and held my body like warmth
and my heart like glass in this home.

no wonder why our ribs are cages for the heart,
except mines managed to escape and loved so much with the heart
so it consumed me, and she consumed my all I can offer.

"you are way too loving for this world"
soon, your touch on me, firmness, protectiveness, and love
held onto me, searching me out of your tongue, and slender fingers
reaching for mines,
so whatever happens, I pray it will be with you.

You are in my written poetry
I portray you as someone I look up to
I sense the feeling you're capable
Of being that person.
You are in my head
Pinpointing the level of anxiety
I get from you, when you tell me you have fantasies of other people.

I portray you as my killer
You killed the most beautiful thing inside me
You wrapped me up in a plastic bag
And sold my heart to the wolves.
I portrayed you as the person
Who lifts me; in reality you brought me to my knees.

I want to see you as the better person,
But that just hasn't happened.

You were created in this world
you ruptured yourself into the world
and caught on fire as you grew older
that crafted you into what you are
and what you will become.

There's only a little.
A sign of staring at your wall
hoping he'll text you back,
would he? who cares.
learn to love to comfort of your own home,
learn to say "i love you"
in your own mind without speaking it
loudly.
I think think the only reason why you're
lonely is because your heart
is the only empty attic, no one
decided to place their time in
because they were worried.
worried you would be the one who they
forgot those 2 years ago.
There is a little sign,
signs are everywhere.
he is the sign of someone entering the attic
"I know you're lonely, so lonely. yes that's you"
face up and heart down
you learnt to be tired and become the used batteries
like broken glass, being unfixed
only she would fit her pieces back together.
I want to hold you,
I want to wake you up
with morning coffee.
But the coffee he spilled on the floor
was like his heart spilling out,
onto the desk, dripping on the floor:
how convenient is love?

Every night when i close my eyes
i see you
just you staring into me intuitively
and i continue wishing
to undo
you
from my memory.

Time
has never felt so precious to me
until now

Letting me see
Letting me feel
A thousand things all over again; the emotions overcome to me, I forget how to speak.

just as the stars sank,

he keeps holding me away from harm

when I felt only half of everything

I stood up, with only a hat to cover my heart

he is forever my everything.

Thing about you is
I can’t ******* let go of you.
Even when we are at our worst,
you are always there for me
to make sure I’m okay.
You have been there for me
when I needed you the most when I was down you picked me right back up.
I love you so much for that.
Thank you for making me a better person.
-
You bring me back to my reality.
I feel so hopeless,
Never let my guard so down, but I did
With you
Everything is where it’s supposed to be
With you, with us.
Still loving you, even on my worst days.
Never been so relaxed with this
But at least it’s with you.