Perfect perfections
One woman once made a connection,
Not to me, but the world
You see,
She found the key within her complexion  
For her whole life she faced rejection,
She wasn't "YOUR" definition of perfection
Your definition of perfection,
kept her from discovering her own


You kept her captive by your desperation,
to hurt her with your words of stone
For a short period of time you destroyed her throne
But now she has a voice of her own
The words that are made of stone
You get trapped by the sound of the drone

"Perfect perfections"
Today,
She stares into her reflection,
At her complexion
And says
" I have Perfect perfections"

I dream about Miss. Green eyes hour after hour
Them dream gone sour
Miss. Green eyes what is it like getting inside someone's brain,
Is it just a mind game?
Well I'm the only one I can really blame,
For I shake my head down in shame.

I once loved one,
but them dreams turned in to nightmares
When I see you in my dreams all I can do is stare
Can't find any words
For it is hard to bare
Looking at you Miss. Green eyes
Are you still there?
I can say your love for me is now hate
My life was at stake
But you didn't care,
You were just there

Looking in to those beautiful eyes
It was a surprise to me,
that one day you would get up and leave
For your no longer Miss. Green eyes to me
One day I would hope for your return
But you see,
When you were gone I was let free
No longer Miss. Green eyes to me

She stands on the edge of her window sill
Two story's high,
She wonders if she will die
For all she wants is to fly
Fly high and away,
She wishes not to stay but go away

If there was away,
Or a push of a bottom,
She would have to nerves to do,
What she has never done
As her feet are on the edge;
she looks up to the sky
And asks why

Why can't I fly?
I have dreams
I wish to achieve
But to afraid to find my way
To afraid to pave my way
So I stay...

You wouldn't be able to tell if their were tears running down my face.
I'm in no ordinary place,
I'm surround in this large case
There's no air,
There is a a light above,
"I stare"
I wonder if I could be seen,
if you would care...

Underwater I am there,
I can no longer bare
My heart pounds,
As a sound of a helpless life drowns
But I will not be a mount of sand
For I will float to the top
By the time my heart stops

She's searches for the path that takes her right,
But of course; it's out of sight
She's makes life long commitments
For in her belly there is a figment
"Three months old"
she says "it is distant"

Her mom asks with Constance's,
how she's supposed to take care of something of her own,
because when it comes to her own self;
Well, she is all alone

every night there is a wish she grants
too find away out what she can't
For smoking ****,
and doing wrong deeds
Doesn't fit her needs

For she dreams higher
She wants to be admired
Not undesired...

I find happiness within a confined box
No one from the outside world cares to knock
This box is to old an brittle
I'm
To wise,
To nimble
To peek out into the outside world

So I sit,
An crumble myself into a tight fit
In a fetal position
With toes tight
Reserved to only an inch
My face stuck in between my lap
My hands hugging my back

Pigeons swarming around my box
I constantly scream
There's not a soul to touch or take
For heaven is where my soul will take

I'm locked
Surround by chains
that lock me down,
Surround by pain
that destroys my name

I'm locked
No woman nor man
could ever wish for this
I'm drowning in hopelessness
If there was a way
to release this curse
I wouldn't have to suffer by
going through the worst
I wouldn't shred a single tear,
My body wouldn't ake
And I wouldn't be taken back
by my mistakes

Im locked
Destroyed by the life that is my own,
To the devil it feels as if I'm sold,
Every day gets dimmer
my life gets darker,
To God I am just his stocker

I'm locked
If I were to be given a second chance,
only then would my vocabulary
not be filled with I can't
Only then would I not count the minutes
Or count everyday life
as the witching hour
I wouldn't cower in the corner
Or write down death dates in my calendar
Like I used too

No
I would get a new chance at life
I wouldn't die by my own hand
And wouldn't say it was just a knife

Your eyes appear to be the norm
Says everybody who hasn't been through this storm
The storm of lack of self love, and hate
Few escape
For your eyes are a looking glass,
only few see the world through your past
For Most of them are the kind of blind
Where you blatantly chose not to look
Through their innocent eyes
  
Covered in a mass
Because your looking through the glass
Of negative thoughts created
You think your not perfect,
And you hate it...

You are much Broken
Broken because the self image
Is what you may call undesirable.
Undesirable to the world is what YOU think
But really the reason behind it is weak
We just keep say it's life that has us deep
But truly it's it's the lack of self confidence
Well I say "your something special"
Because if you looked closely
The ghostly thought in your mind would realize your the one blind

My mom tells me it will be alright,
Yet I sit and cry about it day and night
As the people in my family become out of sight
It seems that the numbers get higher
I become not the only crier
Other parts of the world are crying too
My mom tells me it's like a flue
1 million are dying every year
My heart drops, for my moms time is near
So I began to pray

When evening comes around,
I began to frown
For my stomach groans
For within the day,
Their was nothing not even on the ground
But dead body's lying around
We bless them,
for in their afterlife,
Their will be grapes and veggies in sight

But for now the rest of us starve
Did you know 20,000 die every day
And that's just children
So we must pray  
Pray for the ones that go to bed hungry every night,
Pray so in the morning there will be food in sight!

The saddest thoughts;
are thought's we are unable to explain

The Purpose-

The quality of being determined to do or achieve something...
As you look in the mirror--
What do you see?
What is your purpose or who do you inspire to be?
It's a simple question,
however not an easy answer.

Humans wondering the earth,
Torn apart, broken and scarred
Maybe even,
Bent over and abused
Mistreated and used.

Yet the question still comes about--
What is your purpose or who do you inspire to be?
What is your meaning?
Do you wish to live carefree?
Most will answer as children...

However,
As adults they will act as if the question never came about.
What is your purpose or who do you inspire to be?
What is your meaning?
Do you wish to live carefree?
What is it like being---
Unhappy?

After days of hatred,
and days of sorrow
The book is closed,
no more time is borrowed

They didn't see it coming,
For they never do
This is the end,
I'm drowning in the water,
Doing flips and backbends,
No I'm not trying to get to surface
I choose not
I rather be left on the seafloor,
chained and locked

Masking the noise from the Hells below,
leaving me a new chapter to unfold
well my heart is crashing against my window pain
deadly weapons used to mutilate
down for my bloodshot eyes it rains
in my distorted reality
my soul raises up and down rapidly
my future races around the room
pasting through are deadly thoughts and fumes
of distorted people in animal costumes

I scream out for help
but not a woman nor man can hear
no longer I can't bear
the mutilated people I see and hear
I would ignore but they always reappear
right beside me in my ear
my "friends" fluctuate like a hologram
they come swing like wrecking *****
using ancient methods to destroy all

Dear god,
I wear the cross on my chain
As your prays are forever conducted into my brain
And out through my vain
You have a strain on me to do good
For within you I forever could
With me, you forever stood
As I knew you would

For that I'm always grateful
For you are my secret angel
You fly high,
way up in the sky
Looking down making sure I don't drown
And for you I promise never to frown
Or ever turnaround, but to keep on going
Knowing, and showing to way for others
For ****** Mary one of my mothers

The closer we become
The more I feel numb
I forced the thought of love upon my skin
Gripping her body in the motion of love,
Attempting to feel something I can't feel
Such unreserved distance others would think its real...

Our love is real

So much realness,
that the brain of She and I can't feel a **** thing
That when our lips touch
I sense the warmth of a blanket
And not the softness that her skin brings
I go **** it
I can't even love the simple things
Because the mind of me still thinks
We our "we"
Together
"Me and she"
My mind can't process that we went our separate ways
Long ago
But still the nightly visions of her stay
It's been 2 years all I can say
Is *Our Love Is Numb

Dear Purple,
Said too much too soon
****** covered bathroom
Late night afternoons
Broken heart,
To death do us part
To many emotions as I depart
My soul fades to the dark
Dear purple,
I cry the coldest tears
On the warmest nights
Dear purple,
I can only pray for stronger days
As my body turns to gray

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."
That's the one saying that never makes him feel like dirt you see.
He gets pushed and pulled
Into dark hallways in and out of school
And gets called a "fool"
They seem to like to call him a "tool"
Because he's mentally disabled
Till this day he hates the label
He stables his skin,
For wrist cutting is the only way to Bend
  
For his friend,
She doesn't blend in
For they throw stickers stones
Knowing she is skin in bones
"She" wasn't born this way
And till this day she eats and eats
She stands over the toilet seat on her Knees
They call her "The Bulimic Freak"
85 pounds, "she is weak"

They both say life never seemed so bleak
They get made fun of just because their unique,
At night there parents kiss them on the cheeks
And they tell them,
Sticks and stones may your break bones,
But words will never "hurt you"

Here I stand with my heart out,
I give it to you
Yet here is my future which stands empty without you
Here stands my life on the line,
life;
which is nothing worth living
more painful than the soul can fear, or mind can hide
More painful than giving out my pulverized heart
And receiving nothing in return*...

Knock knock on your door
knocked a thousand times or more
I hope for your knock in return
Just one knock
That's what I pray
Each and every night
Hoping you'll stay
Knock knock on the door
Knowing someone's home
On the other side
I'm not mad or out of my mind
Im just hoping you'll be mine

So knock knock on the door
I'm scared to turn the ****
I'm afraid I'll be turned away
By the sternness of your voice
In the color of anger through your skin
And the words of
"You're not wanted in"
So on the other side of the door I stay
Praying before my love life decays
I knock once more
with no answer in return

Dark tracks of you follow me,
Taking the breath out of my lungs.
I choke on the thought of you;
Till my heart uplifts
To let you go.

Although you may think,
I'm Never to shed a tear for a past love;
I have shedded many
And felt unworthy of...

If you knew
How it made my heart feel
Each word of criticism
Peeling a layer of me off
leaving my soul left in the dark*
"Never to be loved for the scars of past loves."

My tears wash down my breathless face
Like a cold winter night,
There sits my heart
Unconscious as ever,
Brutally beaten since the first I can  remember
Though the first touch,
I chose not to grasp onto the thought of the memory :(

It creeps to my soul;
In the loneliest of hours,
Devouring the last I have left
In every single breath

Wiping the weary out
From that moment on
Awaking the solid touching of him through out my bear skin
Chained down
Begging forgiveness for all my sins

She's not the definition of a size zero,
But she's a "10"
she is not a straight line,
But her curves are defined
She's not a model
But she's has the beauty of an angel
She's not on the cover of a magazine,
But looks seven teen
She's not Einstein
But her body brilliantly shines
She's doubts she's the average size
But the guys consider her A "grand prize."

The true is right here in the details
She feeds off of what fails
Try's to rebels
For she leaves unmarked trails  

Nobody knows who she use to be
But you see,
the glaze in her eyes is a often disguises
She likes to minimize problems,
Or often hide them
She stands by what's wrong
Instead of right
Others often consider her soul out of sight

She says she might have changed a little
But others say a lot
For she's often caught up in the little trail of dots
She's says I love myself a lot,
she thought it would be easy to rebel,
But it's like hell
Her smoking **** and taking pills,
she says it kills

For she wants to change
And is hoping to start today
She wants to start a new trail,
And knows it won't fail.

My face is pale
I can't breathe
The thought of me dying,
left him at ease
My murderous husband,
Squeezes the life out of me

My knees are weary,
as I plead on onto cold, solid ground for his forgiveness
I pray to god,
He will leave me be
I attempt not to cry
For my murderous husband will see the weakness in me

My mother said,
Never let a soul see you cry
They will take advantage of you,
and leave you to die

Your on the outside looking in,
It's sad how unmotivated She has been
She's making her way slowly
The ride is getting coldly unenjoyable
For Shes no longer able,
No longer stable,
No longer capable

But your just on the outside Looking in
Every now and then,
Shes wonders what you see
Is it hard trying to be who She be's?
For Once she lost the key,
She payed the cost

Without a key,
Beauty is the only thing she is unable to see
That's why when you look in the eyes of "she"
You wish to run and flee
For her eyes are contained with what looks to be;
The Red Sea  

Her heart is black and blue
For all the bolts are unscrewed
She wishes for everything to undo
But your just on the outside looking at her doom

The moon is bright,
as bright as your beautiful eyes
Your soul is sweet as candy,
Your heart is dark,
Wicked as the devil him self
If I can change your heart I would,
If I could fight all your demons,
But they destroy me deep inside
I'm not strong enough,
your only thing that can destroy me
Physical and mentally
If you follow the trail,
come in my mind
Of the wicked woods of darkness,
**** all the monsters that live inside these woods
They run and fleet from you,
Because your so dark, stronger than anything "any god I can image"
The beautiful angel I was in love with,
Now my tears come from my eyes of the name Isabella
I'm paralyzed of the neck down
Because your magic is so strong, I refuse to fight you
You grab me by the neck,
Your eyes red as blood
I looked you in the eyes and told you I love you
I closed my eyes and told you
- Never more

I speak what hasn't been spoken,
I write what hasn't been written
I open my eyes to the lightness,
Yet following me is the darkness,
I choose to turn away from both,
In hope they will
leave me in my own growth

I'm forced to face,
What must be faced
Both seeming
"out of place."

I look to the right
And there you are,
"The light."
Could you be a trick?
Being all alone "I stick"
Your beauty is unforgettable
Yet the darkness is unbeatable
The right choice hasn't been chosen,
It is out of sight.

See,
in the light,
There seems to be darkness
within sight.
You confuse me with
lies and deception
How do I follow
your directions?

I speak what has been spoken,
And write what has been written
All that can't be figured
Will forever be a thought disfigured,

Diamonds were made under pressure
Weather you or I made them,
in the end their something to treasure

For their hard made lives break NEVER
Hard falls may be endeavors
Yet they never surrendered
For their name is of a defender  

Their strong, and beautiful at the same time,
Some say it's hard to find
They relate to us in a kind of way
We were never clayed into being beautiful or strong,
But we were beautiful, and strong all along
For our creator made us the type of beautiful, and strong,
That's life long