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983 · Feb 2016
You're Wrong About Pain...
I heard it in my youth, and I've heard it once again.
You banish it away, it always comes back again.
Pain, they say, will always make you stronger.
Then when it hurts, why can't I live any longer?

Pain is not supposed to strengthen your soul.
Only your mind it strengthens "and" it leaves a hole,
And that hole is filled with poison to dull the pain,
And that poison will weaken you, like acid rain.

Apparently what you don't know won't hurt you.
That's right. It only hurts everybody else... "true".
People who eventually hurt you another way.
You'll tell them, "Go away, come again another day."

"It doesn't **** you." "Only cats have nine lives."
Because I'm aware of the multiverse, these knives,
Called dysfunctional lovers, friendships, and family,
Have killed me a thousand times; I live candidly.

I live honestly, because the pain of seeding a lie,
Can grow a thorny bush, upon seeing it you cry,
When you're pricked by the destruction of all,
Your chaos, wondering why you don't get a call.

Pain is good for lessons, that's why it's all around,
It's not that you're getting strong, only wiser.
Pain brings you to your knees, makes you touch ground,
For the power, you are weaker, only wiser.
965 · Oct 2016
Roads Less Traveled...
They dragged me
screaming
down the highway
to their sacred hell.
My torture was a whisper
to their grinning
over fires
that fester.

Nothing in nature
can rewind:
naught but the hand
of God.

Upon retaking my first
steps
anew
I mounted the struggle.
Peace my birthright.
Truth my shield.
Bold conviction
became shaking steps
ascending
the stairway
to heaven.

With my folly transparent,
I witnessed
the cackles and claws
of the demons
to be mine own whip.

I set down the weapon.
I let the ashes of despair consume it.
I do not look back,
for the stairway is its own guide.

Bittersweet is the rasp of envy,
and gratitude: the beckoning of peace.
Those two songs.
One by Led Zeppelin; one by ACDC.
You can't be exposed to rock without these pillars of experience.
We must keep struggling with this question.
The high road, or the low?
If we cease to struggle.
We are either dead or hopelessly lost.

Win your battles, my friends.

Enjoy!

DEW
961 · Mar 2016
Patriot Prostitute...
I love this woman, I can't let her go.
Confession of love? I won't let her know.
I stop cupid in his tracks: catch arrow.
To make it all last I'll start real, real slow.

I leave hints of my name for her to see.
Her flowers tasted by my honey bee.
Whatever she creates I proselytize.
Billion degrees in my campfire eyes.
She is that sun to my bright dream night cries.

I'm lost in her affection though I've none.
I can imagine, her kisses are fun.
My glorious wishes won't be undone.
She is that mile target and I'm the gun.
When she says yes, I'll tell everyone!

A carefully crafted letter to her...
Sent back stamped denied, my vision's a blur.
I planned this so well, but not this failure.
This is a crime! Someone stop her! Jail her!
Sicker as days pass, my skin is paler.
I, noble warrior; she, impaler.

I've been a patriot in her nation,
She was supposed to be my savior.
**** this emotional constipation,
I should have just approached her earlier.
I suppose I'll try again... when I can.
Cupid readies his bow: another girl.
I halt his trigger finger... first, I plan.

Our hero, obsessing over opportunity: *"stuck in a loop"

Made certain his failure would return; luck into ****.
Squandered opportunity we all know,
But it is failure we line out in a row.
This is why he's the hero, he never gives up,
But he never amounts to anything...
urrghh! I'm gonna throw up.
I love this one.
Ever since I took writing seriously and got into writing stories more than poetry (at one point I ignored poetry completely) my poems have become more about stories.

I'd like to write more "breathy" poems about nature and love.
I'll get to write some soon.
I'd also like to write a spine-tingling one, I admit it's fun now.

However, my poems concerning wisdom, irony, satyr, and all-around knowledge, I have special relationships with.

I wrote on Facebook six or seven years ago: "That's the thing about life, it's a satyr of itself."

I'd reached a point where I thought I knew everything "in a sense", but life really threw me a curve-ball. Now I'm seeing it more towards the right way, and it's exciting. However, realizing you have so much responsibility that you weren't aware of is daunting.

Writing poetry helps express that.
So, if you're wondering what this poem is about, read into this section and you'll understand.

Enjoy! :)
948 · Nov 2016
Status Quo...
The crow will crow
and all will know
the good will go
praise status quo.

The blow will blow
destruct the foe
went toe to toe
with status quo.

Mountains bow in the twilight
seas will shriek in that hell
beasts will bray at the bite
broken dreams' bruises swell.

Might was right
give up the fight
in fading light
under status quo.

There is no more
after settled score
when at the core
the ***** is adored
beware the door
of status quo.
This election has been weird, tough, funny, sad, frustrating, enraging, outrageous, and a host of other feelings, but no matter what the outcome, all that can be said is: welcome to America.

It is on our shoulders if we perpetuate stupidity, foolishness, insensitivity, and bigotry: not some faceless figurehead.

I aim not to offend, but to share myself as wholly as the world itself.

Enjoy!

DEW
She's watching me
but she's never said a word
I know not her face
her touch
her aroma
I've only seen her eyes,
in the stars
for years
and I'll never know why,
her beauty claims the heavens
why,
her light cures the blind
and robs sight from the foolish
indeed,
I've stared too long
transfixed and fiendish, for just a taste
I would make love to her even if she has no body
I would kiss her splendor with my words
caress her aches with fragrant whispers
charm the bones of her imagination with tender glances
and consummate our bonding with admonitions of love.

I need no more than words
to know she loves me,
if she would but speak
yet she only stares...
Her smile is the constellations, I know
and her breath is the sigh of the sun
her arms are the rings of Saturn
and her ******* the moons of Jupiter
yet, I am but a man
I cannot make love to these things
so I pen this yearning,
bold
true...
Sitting under her, the Cosmos,
with passion, I enjoy the view.
This is one of those poems that I wasn't sure was coming.
It started out a little slow, searching, but I found the rhythm and I'm enjoying the re-reads.

I'm trying to avoid those gushing poem-notes so short and sweet this time.

Enjoy!

DEW
918 · Nov 2016
Bulimic Gate...
Our world is dying
Its aches are the wars
its groans are the screams

Blame
like a thorned crown
needles my mind
sowing doubt
and guilt.

Yet, I accept my purpose...
I heed the signs
I slay the serpents
I caw the call
salvation is worth this.

I gather the worthy:
the wheat from
chaff;
those humans, now demons,
in abandonment,
laugh...
but the worthy, chins high
heads aglow
walk the path;
I tread
through endless snow.

Yet when the passage
has been met
"Was I wrong?
Am I false prophet?
Crazed all along?"

For the gate is not barred
it spits us out.
It cleanses its treasure
from our ilk
like holy drought.

Left to scour the wasteland
gnawing us with frost
We wander its wasting reaches
We're not frightened
we're lost.
Believe it or not,
despite the religious allusions,
I intended this to be about publication
and trying to make it as an artist.
However, it can be what you wish to see :)

Enjoy!

DEW
913 · Apr 2016
Flytrap...
Genteel in droves
she's drug of choice
you stay at bay
but follow her voice

It's often said
"if looks could ****"
her beauty's hooks
a lustful-red pill.

Your brain's a machine,
gears and all
she'll gum your works
the plane will fall.

She'll get you good
you'll never see,
the innocent girl
she claims to be.

Once you're on the slab
***** as a building
the devil ***** you dry
your bones for kindling.
Never fail to write the tale of caution.
It never changes, because the enemy
is always the same.
912 · Jan 2016
Systematic Oppression...
He was created to be destroyed.

He was invited to be denied,
and when the ice melted his anger,
and when the fire froze his joy,
he watched the sea swallow his love...
He watched the sea swallow his love.

Due to unintended mirth,
He complied to fate without worth,
He witnessed a damnable birth,
A thing with sinful girth.

He worshiped it still,
until he lost his will,
swallowing pill for thrill,
every **** for the mill,
to be ground into waste.

Even the moon was draped in slime,
even the sun ran out of time,
even the stars lost their shine,
even beauty no longer sublime.

I was there when he took his life,
I watched with hunger--holding knife,
to devour what was left,
a box of cereal; ate and left.

He wonders continually in another realm,
wondering at fore of helm:
why spit out of life like phlegm?

He was destroyed to be created.
Just wrote this, so I don't have much to say about it.

However, I will say that life is dangerous when you surrender your will to forces that either do not care for your happiness or that cannot care (inanimate things) for your happiness.

So we're talking about false-gods, *** (lust) and ***** (drugs).
Anyone who has given themselves over to those things will tell you the same story, or they will lie to you so that they can continue to lie to themselves, because if they wake up, they will die from the pain.
906 · Feb 2022
A Yolk Apart...
She was winter & I am spring
I was a budding poet
Her voice was pristine
I yearned that she sing to me
hear, she'd hold those notes in symphony
here, I grew to love her
there, in the twining of our love
in twain, we loved
she loved
I loved
She adored the lyricism
the play of my prose
the waves of emotion that
flexed curls in her toes
I arose
in ways akin to my nature
like wetting a letter
mail in the mailbox
unknown sender
I never let her in
but she did me
this way and that
in twain, we loved
I loved
she loved
I loved the shivers of her soul
sending quakes into my heart
the flute of her throat
the notes of her tears
bitterness, sadness, madness
she let it all free
in voice
in me
I cried, let it stop
let me out
let me not
I will stay
till I'm weary
till I'm old in springtime
till you're teary
In twain we loved
in twain we grew apart
old tires on the Volkswagen
ambling along
singing the old song
on and on
in twain, we loved
in twain, we wanted more
I wanted her to sing the same songs
she no longer loved her voice
she stopped singing altogether
I was wondering
Are we together
In twain, we loved
In twain, we grew sick
I ached for her touch
a poison like pancakes
sweet... for toothaches
the cavity of my desire was a trench
a gorge
with stench
that she despised
don't touch me
I'm not in the mood
don't look at me like that
like what
you know what
In twain, we loved
In twain, we sought freedom
I began writing the new chapters
the new adventures
enraptured
the tales spun like endless yarn *****
endless inspiration
endless distraction
you won't spend time with me
all you do is sit at the computer
don't you care about my dreams
don't you care about mine
I did care but you don't sing anymore
you know why
I don't
you should
In twain, we loved
In twain, we broke free
I wasn't rejected
look, an advance
that's nice
aren't you happy
I am, see
who's that
a friend
you only laugh with him
he's funny
I'm not
you are, just
what
this isn't working
not today
then when
not today, I can't, my dreams
I like him
I can't
this is my decision
why is this happening today
you chose
I choose you
you could have written songs for me
I did
you wrote songs for yourself
I'm sorry
me, too
In twain, we said goodbye
Yet in goodbye
We were together
She was fall, and I'm the summer I always dreamed
Basking in the sun of my destiny
Absent of the kiss of cold, where I left my innocence
Absent of love, where I left my heart
Along the westward road where seasons never end
Along the westward road where sweet songs end in silence
I typically write a good reflective note on these when I'm inspired...
However, this time, I'm just in awe of the experience on this write.
It felt good and I'm just afloat on the energy of it.
I hope you felt it, too :)

Enjoy!
DEW
905 · Mar 2022
Dirge Over The Belltower...
I belong in the
dark rain
I reign in the deep fire
I belong in the joy and the pain
the love with no name
my weakness refrain
I lie
I conquer my desire
I reign in the echoes of my shame
I sleep in tomorrow's loving arms
I search for the beast to be tamed
but of all I seek
passion has branded me true
The toil of the earth paid my price
but I'm alive in the emptiness of cost
I'm in love
with devotion
a mistress whose price is unending
and gladly paid
I die to be her passenger
I die because death is my coin
but I'm disposed in the youth
of my innocence
where it yet knew the devil
It dances now,
steps wrought with despair
but every step leads me closer
to the peace beyond
I
never
belonged
in the ocean of the ordinary,
my wings can fly galaxies with a beat
evade calamity with a whisper
champion defeat with a bow
and embrace the inevitable with grace
and we awake...
In the hour of reckoning
light will shed upon the abyss
and we will learn
I never belonged with your enemies
because mine clothed me with armor
before the storm
I remained unbattered
unfazed by power's ultimate purchase
I lingered dead,
yet undying
my victory transposed into immortality
Thus, with enemies such
who needs a friend like you
not for whom I belong
not for a morsel of truth.
I kept this in my draft folder for a few days thinking about what I wrote,
trying to figure out what I could possibly say in reflection as my thoughts were empty,
then I figured it out.

Who you ally yourselves with in life determines the enemies you face in life.

For example: If you're a Christian or religious, your likely enemies are other religious devotees or atheists (in one facet of your life as large as you make it). Or we can say, if you work in the IRS, your likely enemies are tax evaders, crooked accountants and businessmen, or even the president.

All that to say, be careful what path you choose in life. Be wary of how you craft yourself. What are the contents of your mind, body, spirit, and soul?
What are the contents of your relationships? If you make unruly decisions in these matters, the end result is you will be at war with everyone, because you have no true allies: only enemies.

Furthermore, certain allies have great enemies. Enemies that prepare one to brave and master the conquest of being unstoppable in life, under the beck and call of nothing, and no one, but your highest ideals and precepts - ideals that guide you through any darkness, any abyss.

In knowing the power battling those enemies provides, any other ally is lesser by compare, for their weapons are toys, and allying with them leaves on vulnerable to even the bottom-feeding scavengers of the world.

Watch the people around you. Watch whose allegiances lead to ruin. They are the allies to avoid, who starve for better leadership and growth.

This poem depicts the tumult of being in a quest for identity. The struggle of finding yourself in the storm of this wild world, especially while becoming an adult - a self-actualized human being. That task is not achieved by all.

As always, enjoy!
DEW
899 · Dec 2015
Engender Calamity...
We look at the world, why, we must wonder...
Whose nightmare am I living, whose blunder?

He casts off his shackles and buries this,
Yesterday does: the seed of destruction,
Lord of slaves, devourer of bliss.
Canticle of woe; death's pound of mutton.

He consumes it today, with sickle, and,
Calamity the teeth, death the mouth: sand.
Just my idea that any problem that we see today is either, because of something we did yesterday, or because of something we avoided yesterday.

We all know this to be true, but whether as an individual, as communities, nations, or as a species, we engender calamity by refusing to do the things that will solve the issues of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, by refusing to come together and eliminate our iniquities.

It starts on the ground level.

Change yourself = Change the world
There were black shoes, black shadows
white cuffs, white clouds
black shirt, black boards
white belt, white butterflies

You tell me, your world is black and white,
but,
I ask you,
"Is that all I saw?"
What more, my dear pessimist, you jeer,

So, I say,
Well, of course,
there were blue skies, blue scorpions
white doves, white daffodils
red roses, red blooded hooligans

You tell me, typical American -
so patriotic,
you bleed the colors you fly,
and die draped in your pride,

but I see you
in your myopia,
your dull diatribe of patriotism

I understand you

you are blind to the mind of your soul
you only see
what I tell you
you only see
what you consume
you do not see
what is between
the slats
of your window

when they shut
you do not peek

when they open,
you imagine night has turned to day
when they close
you prepare your bed for the night
despite the noonday sun
you are a prisoner of shallow waters
drowning
while ankle deep
hollering
believing no one hears you
shrieking - how the world has changed!
unaware that the shores move
in ballroom dancer rhythms
sweeping back
and forth
along the bay
because the seas are alive
but you are standing still

not even the earth
beneath your feet
is still,
despite holding your entire reality
safely,
motherly,
in the insurmountable expanse
of its grasp

Yet, should the earth shake
and rock you
should the hurricane blow
and displace you
should the mountains tumble
and smother you
should the sky open its celestial gob
and expel you
should the mother open her subterranean maw,
and swallow you deep
deep
would you, deeply, care
that the possibility of it all
was an open invitation
a sealed letter
that was never
at your behest
to open
and display its contents

I, too,
have bequeathed upon you
a sealed invitation
to the worlds I paint
with these jigsaw vignettes we call words
and all
you had to do
was open the seams

not with a file

a file to cut the purse
the bounty
of the promised speech
no
I ask you
that you but pry open my soul
with curiosity
and peer within the tattered layers of my story
my lives
unlived & overwritten
letter by letter
slip in that noodle protracted by your pineal eye
and taste the essence of the realities
you have failed to purchase
that meander about the words you,
selectively,
chose to ignore
like the milk around alphabet cereal
or the broth around alphabet soup
or the fine-grained blank spaces
the parchment
the canvas of woe
around the words that comprise
a stack of divorce papers
or an exam
or the dread of a long-awaited raise...

Imagine,
for a moment
ignoring the obvious
the letters,
the sentences and paragraphs,
the divorce papers
the exam
the pay-bump,
and just look
at the parchment - the fine-grained,
thin sheet of sophistication

touch it
taste it, maybe,

run your hand along it
the surface of it
or the edge of it
***** your finger on the corner
slice your finger on the edge
the paper has a malice that invites
your masochism
curiosity is power
but also
despair
peer deeper

turn your head about
lower it, sideways
all
the
way
down, and
press your ear,
left or right
against the parchment
the paper
the papyrus
the product
hear its screams
the CHURN-CHUG-GGGHGGHHGRRRRR!!!
that chainsaw
like a thousand hatchets
splayed out
dancing on the circumference of
a taught merry-go-round of death
cutting into the mother
the father
the child
the tree
cutting it open
that it may be cut again
again
again
tormented
pulled apart
pulverized
tenderized
pulped
poured
pushed
pressed
preened
­glossed - maybe
matte - possibly
the choice is yours
harvest the living
for the living death of your divorce
your exam
your raise
massacre those families
not just the trees
the bears, the deer, and the little fox, too!

I'm green with envy,
thinking about all that potent pulp
coming your way
the smell of it
place yourself in its abundance
the smell of industry
its factories
academies of excellence
an office
a school
a registrar, magistrate, Corporate HQ,
the Pentagon, the Taj Mahal,
Big Ben,
the daily mail of any place where
the morning paper
is LAW
and
should this be the first time
you heard the screams
just imagine being a tree
coming to pay respects to your family
smell that death
as you creep in
watch
look about you
at the carcasses
strewn about
in neat, pedantic stacks labeled, A4, A3, letter,
fax or snail mail?

My world is plenty black & white
& white & red & blue,
but it's also got screams,
and the stench,
the carcasses of the forest's children
fit for your pleasure
to tear up,
chew up,
gum up with saliva
and shoot through a straw
into the neck of a fellow butcher
and laugh
laugh and snarl and howl and cackle

Laugh
because,
you never dared to kneel down
pay reverence to the
screams
in the parchment
you let the blinds close
you dared not peek through
you let yourself rot there
in the closet
of your mind
in the dark
and when I say, I'm sad,
you say,
"That *****."
You don't ask,
what's around the sadness,
what came before and what could after,
what's in the folds of sadness,
guilt, regret, and loneliness kneaded in

no,
you look at the sadness,
the dull blue,
and you say,
"Yeah,
that's blue alright,"
then you close your coffin
and go to sleep
This poem became so much more than what I was expecting at the outset, and I love it, LOL.

Enjoy!
878 · Aug 2021
Angels Among Us...
Is it not the grave that takes them from us
It is not life’s end
Nor is it cruel fate - lost time
Nor is it God’s law - mortal frailty
It is distance that molds our memory
Light-years of joy, sacrifice, love
Painted in echoes of light
Amidst the passions of our hearts
We are tapestries woven in the womb
Adjoining the wider tapestry of family
A rope stretching back to the dawn of man
And forward to the twilight
Distance
How those echoes fade as we pass on the torch
Those who bore us are not mere fires in the dark
They are our suns
The centers of our solar families
Children, like the planets of this solar system
Revolve around each sun
Mother father, father, mother…
And when our sun fades into the endless night
Into a distance beyond our understanding
We are challenged to become the suns ourselves
To hold the worlds around us with the same
Unconditional love
Patience
Truth
Mercy
That was shown to us
A gift to light our way ahead
Into the distances we too shall cross
As we forge the light we shall leave behind.

The burden we face
When we lose the ones we love
Is one of distance
Yet we bear this weight
Not by pleasures or pain
Not by striving or seeking calm alone
We bear it by passing time with those we love
We bear it by sharing the joys vested in us
So that one day, we are the ones passing on
Leaving behind the memories of the suns that birthed us
So that they live on in all we do
We all awake
To know that there are angels among us.
We know angels by how we loved them
How they loved us
And how love unites us all,
Even in the dark
Even when there is distance all around
And the inevitability of our mortal frailty fills us with fear,
Yet, there is an irrepressible force of the human spirit
Whether it is love, creed, or purpose
We feel it when those who have gone
Are still here with us
In our hearts,
A presence in our homes,
A familiar face in our children,
Or a letter in their handwriting
They never leave us.
So that distance
Is not there at all.
It is merely a measure
Of how far we’ve come...
I wrote this poem on Thursday, May 5th, 2021.

It was written as a gift to a coworker to commemorate the death of her father.

I believe this was the second (or third time) I'd written a poem to commemorate an occasion. Both times, I did so rather quickly and on the fly, as I usually do, which fills me with a desire to write more poems to signify life events.

I felt I accomplished a consistent tone of reverence and a toeing of the line between somberness and hope, all of which serves this poem well and which the words in the poem find themselves characterized by.

My coworker was touched by this gift and I believe she read it at her father's eulogy, which, in turn, touched me.

I hope this poem touches you all, too.
I hope that, if you've lost a loved one, that they are, too, angels amongst us.

Enjoy!
DEW
871 · Jun 2016
Shard of Flesh...
In a tomb that love forgot
lay a girl that love forgave.
Centuries never left a spot,
and in the tomb, she did behave,

but she tired of waiting there
for the lover, that she desired.
Juliet had forgotten his face,
but, thinking of him, she never tired.

The door to the crypt did crack.
Fools exhumed her there.
All their faces slack;
they couldst naught but stare.

For the light did not consume her;
didst not illuminate, beyond a glance.
Forthwith, they didst entomb her
That shard of flesh left them, askance.
I wrote this after seeing a beautiful digital painting someone created and posted to this illustration page that I follow on Facebook.

It's really beautiful, and poetic in and of itself.
So I wrote a poem for it.
Hopefully, the artist will pair it with her piece, (LOL) because I swear they go so well hand in hand. If you saw the picture, you'd understand!

Enjoy!

P.S. the painting is of a girl in the dark except a solitary beam of light catches a part of her face.
866 · Feb 2016
Romanced... (Haiku Triplet)
"ACQUAINT"
Met, but noticed not...

Gazed, yet unseen, unsure, blank...

True love has this charm.

"FIREWORKS"
Our darkness alight...

Under our skins, twisting seas...

Love is our new moon.

"INTO DEATH"
Voyages close-knit...

Knitted into the beyond...

Knit before we knew.
I really got into writing "Haiku Triplet" poems last year.

I'd decide on a topic, give each poem a title of its own, yet the overarching title would be the true purpose, what unifies them, a sort of story.

I don't know if anyone else has done that, but it felt really fun and original for me.

There's another one that I posted here, if you search through my poems, it's called "Turmoil..." and it is by far my favorite of my triplets.
860 · Aug 2016
Was it for the Gold?
High stakes!
They did naught but
pin me to the sky!
I did more than weather
the storm
I weathered all weather.
She loved me still
with your skin cooked black, she said
she tended to my boils
what a marvel, she said, you're still alive!
my smile bleached white, shone true
all I want... is to be... with you

Lady there's no hell greater than loss
but you've promised me eternity
laud all your passion and virtue
for there is no end to your grace!
You're the marvel, she said, you've been cooked
black
but you still
shine
... inside where emptiness rings I cringe...

Tell me, how white were you
when you
were ****** into the sky
like a kite caught in clouds
tell me! She demands
I smile my sunlit smile
Only the purest color, my dear
the irony of my white lie so clear

She enjoys my moonless tint!
Her tongue swims over my skin
scouting for cacao, or some savor rich
her passion so devouring cools me
for all pain is pleasure
after the fires of perdition
yet, why is there still a nagging
a clawing
a stabbing
a seeping, consuming unease
within my heart?

I must tell her the truth...

My love, she says, how white-
I've been night before there was darkness
I say
I was soot before there was flame
I say
I was the skin of emptiness before you became my soul
woman, I've always been black even before the cooking,
but
my heart is a pool of light, within which
you may bathe...

She stared at me,
finally seeing the filth
her heart knew to deny.
I should have been
a fountain of tears
but the flames of hell have robbed me
of any admission of sorrow.

All I wish in days gone by
is
I wish she had a heart of gold
and
if color be the weight of any being
may sight be struck from purpose!
I don't have much to say after this.
Enjoy...

DEW
There are so many questions
like, is love an invention?
Is peace a prevention,
of the wars of deception?
Will I lose myself if I have no one else?
Will there be nothing left
if I hold my breath?

I can get lost
if I'm not willing to learn.
I can get cold
if I let the fires burn.
All of the bridges
that I've tried to earn
might as well not exist
if I've nothing to yearn.

There's a gun in my hand
and in my soul
There's a gun in my mind
when I lose
control
But the gun in my heart's
on a deeper
roll
I don't know how to stop
bo-boom-bo-boom-boom

Are there answers?
Or are we destined for cancers?
Are we dancers
in a minefield of adders?
Will the snakes keep us warm when we're asleep?
Will they bind our wounds,
and leave us with our souls to keep?

I've been in the pit so long, it's home.
A battleground so thick, yet so alone.
I've lost my mind, but I haven't lost my heart;
it doesn't know how to speak
without the will to say what's hard.
It's gone soft,
a gentle, hopeless thing.
Without a mind, how can it even sing?
So it's armed to the teeth
in the confusion of the storm.
The world is dark
there is no more a norm.
Will a heart lost at sea ever find its mark.
If you don't know what I mean,
just look at where we are.

There's a gun in my hand
and in my soul
There's a gun in my mind
when I lose
control
But the gun in my heart's
on a deeper
roll
I don't know how to stop
bo-boom-bo-boom-boom

The gun never stops
bo-boom-bo-boom-boom

Find a way to stop
bo-boom-bo-boom-boom
I hope you enjoyed this poem :)
Have a great day.

DEW
Gloved hands flex in umbra of night
a cot rocks, glittering in the rays of moonlight
baby coos, shaking its rattle
the leathery hands stalk the craddle
finding their prey, the gloves seek the neck
like guillotine, they reap
... they reap

Every idea meets this end
Every dream of mine every prayer
In infancy they glow then glow no more
throttled by shame, they break
chastised by fear, they fade
I would rock them, nestled in coaxing arms, close to my heart
the clock chimes its hour with pride and finality
at midnight, the reaping begins
upon the witching hour, my dreams are snuffed
and nightmares usurp their place.

Is it torment to expect more of myself?
Content to write poetry and leave epic tales of heroes and nemeses to doom and dust?

How many old lovers have I professed my dreams to
how many friends have I bored with my tales
how many family members smiled as I asserted my storytelling chops
only so I could stop, even before the period could halt the last sentence of the novel, thwarting its purpose.

How many heroes clambered upon my doorstep
begging, pleading for me to pen their heroism
How many villains woke me up with their cackling
In the corner, sitting, their eyes glowing in the void of night,
smiling teeth too white
or too black
feathered hats bobbing as their malice peaks
when they hold snaking knives to my throat
and with morbid breath instruct,
"For the love of God..." they say,
"Paint me in a good light, but make my misdeeds known, **** you!"
And I would lay awake, dreaming of these worlds
until the clocks knell
knell
knell
knell
allowing the ebb of time
to wash away my desires, my talents
and the glistening, far-off worlds fade to nothing...

In the end, indeed,
even my mind fades
leaving nothing but a husk behind
and all who knew come to watch
hanging a tombstone upon my rigor mortis neck,
it reads the words,
"He tried, of course he tried
but the devil has his price,
and this poor soul couldn't make rent."
My most cynical take on my problems with writing long stories (some short stories and otherwise, novels): It's also the first time I've written about it poetically, almost therapeutically.

I remember a time when I could sit down and not leave until 5000 words (or midnight, whichever came first) sat on the page.
I remember when there was no concept of a chore, or bore.
But these are just memories...
Who am I now?
Someone unhappy, that's for sure!

I'm trying to do something about it, so I hope I can keep doing what I'm doing (had a list or goals here, but it's wayy too long).

Anyway...

Enjoy!

DEW
834 · Feb 2016
The Flower Of My Garden...
I've been around the world.
Yes, I've been around the world.
A vast garden of trees and lakes.
A tender yet mighty beauty unfurled.

The only thing that makes sense,
To my eyes of pruning; whence,
Did I desire a thing with petals?
A thing with all love's contents?

I do know the world,
Yes, I know the world,
But what I imagine I know not,
Something called a girl?

I'll tinker here and also there,
A little dirt, air and my hair,
What grows here in my garden.
Will soon be everywhere!

I've tried to imagine this,
A passionate, soft kiss.
Manufactured by my power,
It'll be here by the hour.

Yet what I grew from dirt,
Hair, air, and a water squirt,
Seems to be a pile of mud,
With this I can't even flirt!

Oh, can't I have a dream?
Not the milk, but the cream?
There can't be a secret more,
To my new and legendary chore!

I feel alone and spiteful,
This garden's no longer "full",
My hair falls out like petals,
Or how I imagine they would fall...

I look over my failed creation,
And I give it condemnation,
A tear travels to nose's crook,
It falls upon my aberration.

Pow! Like this. Pow! Like that.
Sparks fly and I don't eat my hat,
because what happens before me,
I simply can't not stare at!

Her delicious curves, radiant hair,
Eyes like my garden, a loving stare,
I can't believe what I have done,
Because she is not just anyone!

She is my love, this I can tell,
My heart is healed and I am swell,
Now I can say that I did find,
The flower of my garden.
Thinking about it now, this makes me think of,
"Frankenstein's Bride," haha!
I hope to watch that soon, now that I think about it.
I remember reading Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", when
I was fourteen.
It was beautiful... but it was terrifying.
I was laying in a "hospital" (sick bay at boarding school),
And I may have had bronchitis. I often got flu-like stuff at that school, "Yuck."

Anyway, we're all created. There is a grand design.
We sometimes get in the way of that.
The character in poem got in his own way.
He "lusted" after her, when the truth is, instead of lust, sorrow is more appropriate for finding a mate. Not depression, "sorrow".
Pining. Genuine desire.
It's not much of a lesson, but that's all I got now.

Also, we do create our mates. They appear when we've built the right circumstances and our character, but we also spend a lot of time building each other up.

What's unfortunate is when we spend time tearing each other down.
Love can turn into hate quickly and it starts with bitterness.

Anyway, take care :)
830 · Aug 2016
The Scum of the Earth...
Face first
into the pasty mud
too weak to crank myself up
too ashamed to continue hugging earth
but we all hug our mothers when we're hurting.

Finally risen from the pit
Face up, proud, and defying
I gave him my stony gaze
Face caked with loam

He sneers
I could swear there are
canines in all gum roots
as he speaks
tongue dancing to farce
I hope he guillotines the messenger

He utters
you look pretty when you wear
the ****

He thwacks me deadly
I tip and tumble
right down
down

It is the betters years now
I've soared up, up
up
and now people wear mud
for me
not on faces
not that I'd care
I'm paying them, after all
after all, I'm not buying their souls
after all, they want to be here
they're happy
and after all I've been through
It's high time someone takes the mud
for me... and then
I see her

Red hair rippling in radiant sun
casting glints of desire I catch with
hungry eyes
Her skin pale as pearl
Her face speckled like rich mineral
Her features delicate and strong
Her eyes, sharp and bright and silhouetted, like
windows to a garden,
yes,
green eyes.

I've tasted never
I've spoken never
of such quibbles as love,
but her beauty is the embrace
I've never known

It's all a shimmering flow
a cascade of fluid memory
the quenching of things
not known to be thirsted
My eyes open to a path
I've just found the will
to traverse in peace.

Yet, like Jack and Jill,
we go tumbling down
down
the hill
and...

It's a wedding anniversary
not ours
because silence
and delirium imbibed
is preferred on such occasions

I smile
She glances
and sighs deep
unearthing cavernous
voids
of misery
caked on memories
of bittersweet mysteries
called love

It is only in the mirror that,
with those windowed eyes,
she gazes with scorn, pity
a truth meant for me

Shame crushes my heart
heartbeat pulsing like
a crumpled soda can
rattling on empty road

With languid brushstrokes
she applies the mascara

You look pretty when you wear
the ****
I said

The pin drops
and with it
the canvas...

One man's trash is another's face
We can find solace in the
shattered remnants
of our dreams,
or we can challenge
the very precepts that
assured our rightful happiness
I burned the midnight oil to get this done... 1:28am to be exact.
Though, you'll probably only see this in the morning.

Still, today being August marks close to 8 years that I've been writing poetry (seasonally), from the days in which I was trying to dazzle people in my High School, senior year "Creative Writing" class and... sometimes succeeding, hahah, that is until administration pulled me out of that class and stuck me in Gym class (the history behind that is way too complicated right now, LOL).

Starting in 2012, I went through three years of not being able to write anything substantial. That was very painful.

I've got a really complex relationship with writing, so I'm always excited and amazed when I finish a piece, and I'm prone to sharing with anyone who'll give it a chance.

I've never won any competitions, I've barely been published and I still carry this idea that someone will care even if I don't, LOL. It's not like I don't want to do those things. It's that I'm too busy dying inside to care (cue fake laughter...)

Anyway, I'm always trying to write my thoughts out after the poem and am thankful that this option is here. I get to read over these things a month later and cringe at how weird I was and, "Why did I say that?" and, "Shut up, idiot!" and "Ah, nice, that was cool..." and "Oh, you always LOL me, man."

Yup, life is sad, but we get to write about how sad it is, as if that would make it any less sad, I mean, if that's the way it works, why don't I just write about how I don't have any money and *gasps* it's the cosmic loophole! Chuh-ching!!!
824 · Dec 2016
Tears of Rain...
My darling, Nature, don't leave.
I was never good to you,
but
do
re
mem
ber,
I love you.

I kissed your back with water.
I ran my fingers along your womb with rake
I burned the poison with fire
I withdrew from you, for your sake!

It was easy to stand apart,
wasn't it?
Yet you never left me,
no, no,
and I never stayed.

When seasons are delayed,
I never blame you,
no!
I blame myself
myself!
I'm horrid
to abandon you
my Human Nature.
A planet unto its own.

Where are your gardens?
My mind? My soul? My heart?
Where are your temples?
My bonds? My kin? My world?
Where are your laws?
My books? My emotions? My life? My death?
These are all things I can grasp,
yet grasp no longer.
Things I can feel,
yet watch the bridges
burn!

And they say it is your fault,
Nature.
Dare I call you by your name?
Dare I call you Human!

so many tears so little effort to stop them
and all our lives are washed away
because the flood is pain
and the end
is
me.
I just felt like writing this one.
Maybe it's to myself,
maybe it's to us all.

Enjoy, but do think.

DEW
804 · Jun 2016
The Dead Will Mourn...
The living were born
The dead did die
The fear won't let
the sleeping dogs lie
when the shadow comes
creeping
through the town.

The pastors yawn,
the demons frown;
sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down,
but you can't listen
to what the devils say.

I've heard the kettle
whisper
when I came by to
kiss her
but I've never heard God
get comfortable with sin.

I think I'll try getting old
before I lay down to die.
No matter what,
when it ends
I won't let them lie,
no,
but when I lie,
the dead will mourn for me.

There's coffee in the fridge,
there's whisky in the ***,
so many things I did backwards,
like buying your nonsense in lot.

I've been sitting pretty
is it make-up, or is it wit? See...
I don't have to be pretty
to be loved by dumb luck.

When I go out to meet her
I'll be checking my dresser
Hat, shirt and dress, yes sir,
You'll be colored yeller,
but when I die,
it doesn't matter what they see.
Cuz when I lie,
the dead will mourn for me.

I'll be buried empty,
but the plants will have plenty,
of all my meals I'd rather leave behind.
I don't have money,
don't take that to make it sunny,
but I'll be cooking where I'm hard to find.

I've got oil to spare,
to lay your body bare,
and spend your love
to keep my engine running.

I'm devil may care,
I'm angel may stare,
and hope no one's lookin'
when I pass you saucy
love letters.

Arguments fine tuned,
we leave common sense marooned,
when we box pandora up
and let her free...
continually.

I've seen the moon go red
Like every word you said,
and I'd rather chase some ***
then get insurance,
because when I die,
no,
when I lie,
yes,
when I lay down,
the dead will mourn for me.
Can you imagine this as a country song?
I sure can, hahahah.

Not bad, I guess.
I hope some of the meanings and rhetoric and theme of the poem/lyrics are clear to you and for that which isn't, well... keep digging, but don't tell a soul... just kidding :P

Enjoy!

DEW
Cry me a river
of joy,
she said

I knew she meant it,
by the silence
by the memory of her laughter,
how she poked fun
how she rubbed me down with giggles of mirth,
bellies gyrating with angst
and rambunctious
passion

I knew it

It was not the idea
of her
that scared me,
not anymore
would I think of women
that way

What
it was
that scared me
was how I knew we'd say goodbye
and I'd be okay
for once
okay
and happy she said goodbye...

Happy we didn't shovel moats & forge keeps,
establish plans of attack & surrender
belabor, humming & hawing, over broken treaties,
over civilian casualties
the banishment of civil liberties
and the proverbial
dictatorships of,
"I'm not the problem, so, it MUST be you."

Reply with,
"Yes, it is me."
I knew it,
"I'm sorry!"
Jinx!
Not this time.

This time,
she said goodbye.
And so did I. At least, inside.
And she meant it,
and it was honest.
And so was I. A small comfort.
First of many...

Her goodbye was a kiss that could rival
daydreams
of memories that are
more remixed than the splotches of oil
on a painter's palette,
and,
more dibbled and dabbled, than ten playlists of slow jams,
in my arsenal of hopeless stratagems,
bearing the desperate subtext of,
'park your rear end
where I can't begin to ask honestly.'

Because,
honestly,
if this weren't goodbye,
I could only trade this goodbye,
for ten thousand "Hello's"
whose end and beginning are lost to the tides of status quo,
of forget me nots
and anniversaries,
and picture frames
of days where we forgot what 'goodbye' meant,
because we learned to speak the truth...

And isn't it the truth,
that goodbye,
was so much sweeter than,
I can't stand,
how much we fought for a t-shirt
that eponymously said,
"I cried over spilt milk, and all I got was this t-shirt."
because none of us know
the name of the game,
but we know we hate playing it
Sometimes, it's not meant to be.
And that's so perfect :)

Enjoy! :D
799 · Dec 2016
It Stokes the Embers...
If you ever wonder why
poetry is flames,
you will hear my name
whispered in your room,
cocoon-cocoon-****.

I am the embers
inside the hearth of the storm,
I leave behind remembrance
to keep you safe and warm,
I live in lingual form,
cocoon-cocoon-cooon.

What stokes the flames,
when the heart is fading
when life is braiding you
into a mess
the stress
confess
sorrow is hard to impress
ravaging you, leaving you
less
yet the flames burn on
poetically strong
indomitable words
right or wrong,
they are the song
of the chirping heart
from end to start
a noble art
and my name is there
please, don't stare,
cocoon-cocoon-****.

I leap from the pages,
from the fires of the ages,
I have no name
but my poetic, rages
I leave behind my...

Cocoon-cocoon-****.

I fly away,
belatedly soon,
but I leave behind
a cocoon,
for the butterfly sheds tears
racked up over the years
rising from the waves
of paupers and slaves
for the butterfly craves
the cow.
I had a lot of fun writing this one.
I can only hope of the same for your reading experience.
It's a fun one to think about!

About the last line:
"The butterfly craves the cow," is my expression of the human experience. An experience that is constantly redefining itself much as a flashlight in the dark can discover the world and yet only have fill of a moment that is constantly passing; not empty as it is constantly filling; a strange fluidity of experience in which we search for more.
An experience in which, even when we do attain humility and contentment in our lives (steadying the flashlight), it becomes our mission to maintain our state of peace.

Butterfly craving the cow, is to crave the source.

It is to crave the truth. It's what we call "real". Something that lacks deception. Something we can weigh and is open to understanding.
We develop the idea, as we grow up and imitate our society, that if something is secret, it cannot be real. Yet today, we are shedding this idea in favor of fear. That led me to the church in my own life. Christians are comfortable with the idea of there being truths unattainable in our transient moment. Truths that are permanent in a life that we cannot do more than hope and prepare for.

Whether or not this is possible, we have to come to terms with the human hunger for fire and why religion, and especially the Abrahamic religions, are so good at satisfying this hunger and changing people from their core. We have to seriously consider the idea of God and understand that if we continue to think of him as an idea, our transience will surpass such flimsy conceptions.

Enjoy!

DEW
792 · Feb 2017
Will You Remember...
Fire and ice, you and I... wet with wonder.
We tangled and tossed and turned.
Our passion was poetic,
the way I saw truth in your eyes,
the way your smile hurt me the right way, that sharp tickle of pleasure.
Our joy was boundless, our toil of love without measure.
Yet...
Our love was a tide that crawled back to the heart of life.
Our ebb and flow of desire and fulfillment bled
all over that designer rug.
I sit in a cafe obsessing over deadlines and profits,
but,
can I really forget?
No.
And when I run out of deadlines,
and when I don't profit from profit,
the memories will bleed into me from
the past like rain "inside" an umbrella.
I will break.
I will sigh.
My eyes will mist,
my head will cloud.
I will shake my head and wonder...
"Will you remember?"
Hey, it's been a while!
Missed me? Anyone? ;)

Enjoy!

DEW
787 · Oct 2017
She Fades Away...
In dying day
we trust dismay
Like scent of edible death,
it marks the forlorn path
that marks the traveler
that marks the soul
that feeds the beast.

I cry upon the balustrade
I climb the walls
assail the roof!
I cling to hope and tidings sweet...
but hope, she fades away

In misty day
haze thick with ire
like defiling spear
it pierces the shepherd
who ushers the flock
who bicker and bark
who worship the beast.

I thirst 'pon fetid ocean
amidst mustard fog
oar strokes batter the brine
frost clogs the air, my freedom, my heart
while the sun hides his face for shame of the world
every other face is a mask, and beneath it a mask
their truths are lies and their confessions are lies
so I brave the ocean, seeking her wholesome face
Her voice is the bedrock of countless miracles.
I peer into the cloud that hugs the sea
her face smiles in the obscurity
I reach out to touch her visage
but hope, she fades away.

For years I sought her company
I wished for odes to reveal
the residence of her testimony
Her word would defend, like steel!

Yet when I finally found her,
my grasp bound death's door
I realized I was the hope
that no one will know anymore.

As hope, I fade away.
I have tried my best to describe my life's struggle in this one poem.
As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

We can't complain about nothing changing when we're the ones unwilling to change.

Enjoy!

DEW
781 · Aug 2024
The Loose Change Pathway...
bird droppings
from the skies I'd plummet
into the arms
of the open road
of the paved places
of the winding canal
of the idle city sleeping

drowsy in my somberness
quiet in my pain, I labored
spilling my blood with a copper's clamor
the din of supper, scraping rusting fork & spoon
'pon tin plate
to hear ravens' drowning cries
rattling in the tin can of my empty mind
searching for the truths devoured
by many come before
who wound me dearly
who loved me,
dearly
and craved every drop of blood
succored
every morsel of marrow
how they loved me,
my flavor
my scent
craved the texture of my soul
that decadent, succulent chew
the note of my fermented heart
the painsteaking cuisine of my hopes & fears
no monster could dare
devour
as humans do,
as humans do...

as human devour
whom they love...

and wherever you go
finding me,
as aimless trails
of loose change, on sidewalks
on open roads
in parking lots,
in the hot sun or shade
know they wandered there
in drunken stupors
as I fell out of the gullets
of their wanton avarice,
they lost me perpetually
spreading my worth,
as they spread their disease
cloven hooves clopping, clapping, clipping their way
away from the devastation
of the feast of my dying
like banks
emptying in my ruin
of the wake of my demise
their empires, falling
fiat failing
loose change spooling
like my passions,
my yearning for pleasures of flesh
they ***** every woman I ever adored
society,
in the desert of that lustful ******,
disemboweling...
establishments, perishing
grants, drying up
riverbeds, swamp-like
don't forget
how they,
you,
chose the love of money
over me,
as you butchered me,
like choice cattle
no golden calf could ever beat veal
no price could hold sway over the madness of their deal
how demons waited
gap-toothed smiles twinkling
eyes dark, cold, wanting, hungry
accepting every handshake with glorified glee
malice of eternities, met with mirth,
poured over sinful charity,
from those who destroyed the good
despite the evils that would follow

I was the innocence - the sacrifice,

they enjoyed every taste of my youth,
my joy, my spirit, my screams,

they enjoyed every taste of my innocence
despite every harrow,
nestled
in every mouthful,
like broken glass filling
in fillet mignon
******
good
fun...

and here I am
this one's yours
your own pretty penny
with no thoughts to spare
for your pennies could never purchase my thoughts
for my thoughts are worlds of real estate
no longer on the market
closed
like never-never land
a tombstone reads:

"Here lies,
he who never lived,
for living was too high a price,
for the world to bear being free,
due his freedom,
therefore, he died,
that they may remain slaves
to the devil's delights,
evermore..."

and no one was there
to proclaim forgiveness
that they, who ransacked, knew not what they did
for they, who ransacked, did know
and yet persisted
for the sake of their own yields of riches,
***, and a deep-rooted
desperate sin
called,

"greed"
Horrors looming on the horizon,
for them to seem pretty(er),
better to accept their approach,
than to run and be devoured from behind,
as if that sinful cowardice
worthy only of lucifer, satan, and the devil,
or any anti-christ,
changes one's fate...
773 · Dec 2016
Through the Impenetrable...
Have you ever doubted...
Lost in a searching grasp for
lies
only to be comforted by fear:
its rigid, creviced tongue
a jagged weapon
like an obsidian relic of barbarism
scrapes my skin
scratches my earlobe
it tries to find a way into my mind.

I have forgotten the taste of truth
like a babe fed by beasts
I grew strong
or so I thought.

I tried to carve my name
into the disc of the world
"Fool"
The world isn't flat,
but I am.
I fit into the cracks you think are safe.
I slip into your secrets.
I carved lines into the world until
the impenetrable layers of rock and tree
and sky and core
were but pages,
thinly veiled memories of lives we
once cherished.

I know you've forgotten the taste
of truth
because you feel my sorrow.
It is your tale I tell
and that is why
I feel so alone.

You are impenetrable
and when I see through you,
I don't see anything at all.
I've forgotten who I used to be.
So, perhaps this is indicative of more than I realize.
Perhaps I was never, a "me" or, more accurately, the modern, romanticized, IDEA of the self.
If we strip this away, do we instead find something greater than this fantasized patina we have introduced into our culture?

Maybe the thought ends here.
Maybe this is only the ghostly conjuration of a moment's deep rumination,
soon to be dust in the library of an aging mind...

Enjoy!

DEW
767 · Aug 2016
Impunity Delusional...
The looming night felt
The cost of things unknown
The ease as cumbers melt the
weight of umbrage over throne.

Desires that gently glide
o'er delusions quilted soft
a tower of blistering pride
dreams drifting along aloft

We will always dream of more
when the axe comes to grind
upon our anchored necks
as our heads are left behind.
Just a short little deep one here, LOL.
Although the subject is serious, it's kind of fun.

Enjoy!

DEW
744 · May 2024
Unrequited...
I loved you
as a thief
loves his secrets

buried you deep
where surface-level
lies
could hide you

I
wanted you
needed you
lost you
wanted you more
wanted you deeper
felt you
wanted you sorely
needy
I craved you
felt your lips
down my back
'tween my legs
on my soul
breathing into me
your spirit
your charm
your wit
your laughter

I'll never forget
your voice
the soothing grace
of how you felt
beneath me
in our dreams
in our living nightmare
of being alone
wanting
lying
falling asleep
in the arms of the ghosts
we've made
of each other...
I wrote this, thinking of someone who I am unsure whether I drove her off, let her go, or missed her coming toward me.

It hurts, thinking of the possibilities.
By how this poem came ready to speak its truth, I know she was special.
I just don't know if she was real...
I lay bleeding in the crevice
trying to scream the pain away
like a fiction, was noble bliss
I closed my eyes to end the day
and along came the man
that would silence my fears
bandaged wounds
skins of beers
dirge of tunes
smiling, "Cheers!"

I could walk when morning came
shake of hands
sharing names
Eljago, he said proudly
I cringed admitting my name
regardless he called it fitting
I said much the same

With Eljago's farewell words,
he strode in danger's path
Mount Death on his horizon
I looked on, "Absurd!"
walking after him,
"Why head there?"
He said love tests all men
but for some, there is a fare
"I'll join you on this quest!"
Looking mournful, he said,
Beware...

Long was the journey!
'Neath forests, o'er hills
Nests of creatures, exotic thrills
Barbarian territory
Witch's lands... chills.
"I tire," I complained
Eljago urged we continue
"My wound gnaws me!" I shrieked.
Still, he pushed us
I collapsed, swamped in sweat
Angered, he chided me
and warned of the danger
I languished despite he
There was no roar or crack of twigs
no arrogant warning
the creature's maw like a cave
came to swallow us, darkness
blinding
Eljago swift, his might awing
cleaved it in two
while I sat bawling
Like two halves of a hill
each side flattening trees
the forest hushed in chill
as the beast was no more...
What did he use,
to fell the monster?
Eljago pointed to Mount Death
he insisted we go faster

The Journey was longer
than I could have known
at a faster pace
you'd think I was thrown!
I twisted an ankle
Eljago gave it strength
I fell over
He picked me up
I puked
He fed me
My legs gave out
He carried me
I wept
the air was so thick
I could barely breath
He finally stopped
He told me stories of his love
On an island constantly devoured by the sea
Eljago was loved immaculately
Her name was Vailloria
she came from the sea
they had ten children
but angered the Gods
for Vailloria was wed
despite Eljago's perceived odds
to have her for himself
he had to face Dragado
God of lies and darkest shadow

I told Eljago of my life
in laborious
excruciating
detail
and how I'd fallen to die...
Eljago, my savior,
began
to cry.
He had never heard a story,
so mired in turmoil
adversity made him strong
but it made me so weak.

Eljago carried me further,
to the top of Mount Death
There, I watched him approach
the throne
of the Shadow
of Death.
Dragado stepped out from shadow
his features made of bone
he looked down on Eljago
and laughed a roaring drone
"Is this what she wants?
That pathetic adulterous crone!"
Like thunder was the strike
right down on Eljago's head
never had a blow
filled me with so much dread,
but Eljago stood for glory
Eljago stood for love!
In fact, where was Eljago?
There he was, above!
His strike was like an eagle
or an axe
or something mighty
it split Dragado quick
but there was something
fishy
a puff of cloud and shadow
no residue of anything messy.

As the mist cleared,
Eljago glanced at me, confused.
I shrugged, scratched my beard
hoped the fight would be continued.
Eljago dropped to his knees,
clawing at his chest
"What's happening to me!" he cried.
I rushed over at his behest.
It was sudden,
it was cruel,
no honorable way to end a duel...
The shadowed hand of Dragado
burst from Eljago's chest
clutching Eljago's heart
failed was the test.

Eljago smiled,
he looked into my eyes, relaxed
he handed me a little scroll
"Find Vailloria..." and passed,
before his last words were said,
but I knew what we wanted last.

Dragado sat smiling
on his spectral throne
For once, something brave I said,
"Take me to Vailloria's home!"
Laughing, he obliged
A dark door opened
I walked through with confidence
and emerged on an island's bed.
There was Vailloria, waiting
beauty radiant as a breath of heaven
around her, children played
I walked to her right then
I handed her the scroll
She read it with her children ten
Who was Eljago, to you? she asked
Thinking of his tears,
I said, "He was my true friend."
Enjoy!

DEW
730 · Nov 2016
Angels & Demons...
The hour was late, and
soon to be later.
The minutes devoured the seconds.
Leisure was my antidote to a long day's madness.
Then I found her, or she found me.
She cast a spell on me in the witching hour.
Her gaze was possessive of me.
Premonition was her touch.

I know not how she crossed the room.
What mattered is she was in my lap. Summoned.
Yet, was it I who lingered, nose at heel?
You can't question the magic.
We are the agents of fate;
we are deciding and directed.

I could never be a marksman.
I wanted her to kiss me: I talked about our parents.
I wanted to dance with her: I romanced the weather.
I wanted a way to reach her: I reach for her thighs.
Oh, how we all wish the target would welcome the bullet,
and to my surprise, she welcomes.
My defences evaporate into the smoke-filled air.
I take her hand. The edge of her lip curves.
That's all she wrote.

Sometimes, complexity is a burden, and simplicity is freedom.

A lifetime of unrequited passion was distilled in that night for us both.
We danced in controlled chaos: not knowing our bodies, yet fully aware.
Time ticked backwards and forgot to tock.
I lost my tie, she lost her sock.
Giggles, the sign of a fermented joy.
The joy of not knowing joy, true joy, and then having it.

It was love... wasn't it?
Yes, it was. It was not mature, sure, but it was. We knew it.
We sheltered ourselves from the world.
Time ticked forward and tocked with abandon.
I remember moments holding her, sharing in her warmth as she shared in mine. A communion for two.

I remember rings exchanged.
I remember the first fruit of her labor. Our labor.
A hand so small it felt like a stick shift.
Time ticked forward and, then

Silence.
I don't know when we stopped talking,
but she was gone.

My tears, some semblance of oceans forgotten, dotted the clothes of my baby rocking in my trembling arms.
It seemed pain was my daily meal.
I faced questions I never considered possible:
Will she ever come back?
Will I ever love again?
What if I can't love again?
What if I feel this pain forever?
...
What if she's dead?

Our life replayed like waves lapping the shore in my distant mind:
How the upbeat jazz descended to slow rock tunes.
"Oh babeh, your lipstick kiss is foreva, it's the red rose ova my grave!"
Our cyclical steps matching, lighting fires in our hearts.
Our arms coiled around one another, as if we were falling from some hallowed place... falling in love is scary.

We try to smile and remember the madness when we're sober.

We forget the things that are important sometimes... all the time.
We forget so much that we become these chewed up, gnarled bits of humanity, searching for our souls when they are right inside us. Incomplete, sure, but there all along.
We have that hollow wanting.
That grinding hunger, that hot thirst.
I don't know the cure for certain, but, the memories seem to know.

Let's stop searching for happiness. That's like searching for flight. What we need is the wings. It's not youth, it's not money. It's opportunity. It's innocence: the belief that things are simple, because they are.

Innocence led me to Rosie that night.
Compromise in the face of difficulty stole me away.

It was years later that I remembered the pain.
Laura got off the school bus angry.
"Boys."
When I got to the bottom of it, she was in the wrong.
She dumped him... for nothing. Because she could.

Waves of despair bubbled up from beneath my present: the calling of the past.
I almost strayed from my resolutions.

I was left with the thought, "She's just like her mother,"
but I left that thought forlorn,
because the truth is, I raised Laura,
and so,
maybe I'm the demon calling the angels sick.

Maybe we're all demons.
It makes sense. We all feel we've fallen from grace.
The devil you know smiles from the mirror,
it wears your face and crowns you king or crud...

Starve it to death, hang it on your sterling bow and
sail for the waking dawn.
Abandonment can happen even when a person is physically by your side, but it's never as final as when they are not.

Sometimes, we're content with allowing that person to be there: physically. We let the rift linger and propagate itself. They were gone before they were gone physically. It happens more than we are aware.
Count the people on your hand that you knew last year who you don't associate with this year or by year's end; are you running out of fingers?

I marvel at how careless we can be. Fascinating how dispensable some we've known have been and how indispensable our selfishness sometimes *is*.
The children reflect this idealism... through bullying. A prevalent symptom of a virulent disease. Because the idea that people are dispensable begs the question of whom to accept. Whom must we save from the rigors of our own prejudice and deception... and whom must we condemn?

We all have our reasons. We're guilty of nothing except being human and to be human is to be guilty.

I had pages worth of text here, but I decided not to burden you... LOL!

As always, enjoy!

DEW
724 · Jul 2016
Wants a Man...
I know what she wants, I know what she needs.
Without my banana, she no longer heeds.
She spits out all of my winter seeds,
Down the river and caught in the reeds.

Primitive urges and sophisticated boredom.
Too much mail, not enough cats to sort ‘em.
She wants parlor tricks, not whiskey *****.
She wants sweet nothings, no liquorice sticks.

She’s a snake charmer in plural disguise.
Her double standards will be your demise.
She wants handsome, tall, not short and wise.
She wants musclebound, no porridge thighs.

She’s not sure about that or puzzled about this.
She has her way and you’ll do anything for a kiss.
She wants you dead before she becomes a pumpkin.
Smart as you are, you don’t know what she’s thinkin’.

**** a spider for her, spy for her, same difference.
To see her happy you’ll spare no expense.
To see her mad, all you need is common sense,
And to return to the frog you were forth hence!

She wants a man, a boy I’ll forever be.
All the world’s dreams are lost to the sea.
She doesn’t know that men don’t exist anymore.
Neither do women, growing up is a forgotten chore.
This is a poem that I wrote on this day back in 2010.
Definitely one of those days where I felt frustrated with women.
I guess that's what happens when you base your life and its happiness on people instead of on your own terms.
Let me know: how does this compare to my current ability?

Enjoy!

DEW
721 · May 2016
In Lament...
Disharmonious.
It was all a clash of black and blue,
for nonsense that intoxicated
for agony that liberated
and they all cried, "Stop!"
in lament of the gunshots...

Contagious.
Virulent sentiments
of violent out-pour
score to settle score
danger lurking freely
and they all cried, "More!"
in lament of the gunshots.

Pandemonium.
Tasting villainy
masked as necessity
they marched openly
tongues oscillating
ticking time-bombs
explosions of chaos
harbingers of bitter consequence
too bitter to gag, but only to die,
and they called, "Jesus!"
in lament of the gunshots.

Silence.
He wandered,
through the empty streets
of our souls departed
where myriad tear meets
the shaking martyr
and he burns the world
to start anew
anguish and memory discarded,
in lament of the dead.
Lament the loss of innocence,
in partaking of evil
without conscience for love.
715 · Nov 2016
The Touch that Tingles...
So pleasant was the weather
a summer spent together
she's *****-trapped with pleasure
sensations in great measure
To you, she was a treasure
but today there's nothing deader
than the tingles in your head or
the fantasy to wed her.

Tell me of her touch
like earthquakes in foreign lands
that you can feel between
your legs
like ocean water churning, churning
falling upon you when you're burning
from a sky so vast, it seems
that your dreams are pauper's dreams
She's like that same sky in the night
so dark... so bright
your eyes are alight
with infinity in sight
and you take a bite
of her honey cream thighs
you feel alone
and then she sighs
and you are responsible
it's like some living math
you plus her
in a bubbling bath
equals roiling memories
that cage as much as free,
freeze as much as warm.

What choice do we have?
Life is a choice of slave masters...
Be enslaved by love,
or dominated by hate:
either way, there's pain.
Either way, there's a rain so fierce
all the world is swept away,
but you and she, she and you,
you can never be erased,
for you are not earth and tree;
you are not river and rock;
you are spirit:
a thing proved unconquerable by death.

So, after life, when there is time to linger,
think upon the touch that tingles.
Heaven waits for all men,
each woman a
piece of
it.
Yesterday, I wrote down the line, "She's *****-trapped with pleasure," and I could just feel the poem waiting in the aether. I cast my net out and scooped up word after word, careful to be gentle, careful to be careful.
So here it is, a thing to be enjoyed in your minutes of peace. I hope it enchants you as much as it enchanted me. I love my poetry, and that's why I keep writing.

Enjoy! :)

DEW
698 · Jun 2017
Beatnik Turntable...
I’ve sat within that crowded room.
Elbows, like the knobbed tree branches of a forest,
sway with mirth and freedom.
Yet, my heart lost its fire long before.
And as I sat, I sighed the rousing air
of the room with carouseling dancers,
and felt that no one was there; not even myself.

There are many things that solitude can inspire.
We desire what we can only hope to have again.
Yet, how lucky am I? I dream of things I’ve never known.
I see her hug his hip to her hip, whisper in his ear...
What did she whisper?
He will tell one dear friend,
and that friend,
will feel what I feel – a burst of elation, a drop of envy – a deadly cocktail.
And that friend will go on and wonder, “What if she were mine...”
And I know because I was that friend who tasted her in his words. And dreamed.
I dreamed until the dreaming kept me awake
until the dream cannibalized other dreams
until the dream put visions of her in the clouds
until the dreams, dreams, shattered-my-soul!

I was the one who told my friend about her.
I crafted her beauty and charm with such power to disarm, using my silken language,
and he tasted her essence in my words.
So, now I sit here.
I sit here in this room filled with carouseling couples.
I can only sigh,
as I watch her dance.
What does it take to be in love?
Sometimes, it can take a fool as much as it takes a prince.
695 · Feb 2016
Valentines Day...
This day is the day upon which,
Wishes are tattooed upon lover's skin,
By the gentle kiss of a lover's whim,
Simple romances and complex shapes to be drawn,
'Round the eyes that one shall fawn,
O'er clouds and dreams drift the lovers' song,
To the beat of ground under lovers' dance: all night long.
This is a poem I wrote on Valentines Day five years ago.
I was passionately optimistic about love then.
Wouldn't mind being in that state of mind at least a little bit.

Enjoy!
687 · Dec 2017
Patient Storm...
The city was laid bare:
like a patient upon the operating table
I walked the streets with precision
I was the scalpel carving communities from the fauna
the city was alive, and so it was truly sick
concrete jungle
projects and penthouses
the beleaguered old traipsed about, silent, but not quiet
the youth, rambunctious and carnal, feasted upon the dying
With each touch, I soothed the soul
Kisses, like antiseptic.
Lectures, like stitches.
Like cumulonimbus, the raucous ramblings of crowds grew
I said to myself, "It is fine, this is life, let it live."

Youth, ablaze with carrion wings, descend upon the old
beaks barrelling forward, pecking and snatching decency
still there are some who help
swooping down like proud eagles, they shoo away the scavengers
they beat back the tide of villainy
they shelter innocence, foster truth
but they are not enough...
I carve out the **** of corruption
I ventilate the lungs of the city and plug the punctures
but the pollution is virulent and stubborn...
Still, I say to myself, "This is poetry, love is a mystery, let them be."

I will hear them cry in the rain
I will not know my place
I might extend a hand, proffer an embrace, but
they will shy back,
for man will become monster
and God will become devil... in their eyes: deluded; poisoned by hate.
I will wonder where I went wrong.
Will I try my best to turn the helm against the wave,
go THROUGH the heart of the storm?!
Of course, I will try
I will try,
but I will fail.
Man will flaunt his freedoms, those which were freely given.
Despite my grief, I will say to myself, "All things have an end. There was nothing I could do."

I wonder to myself...
How many centuries have I folded my hands against the storm.
Behold! It's patience!
It will ever rise,
It will ever approach!
So long as man lies,
It will reach for his throat!
Man will always feign surprise,
It is a sickness he cannot broach...
As the color of morning skies is calming,
The fumes of the rumbling storm are maddening!

I always let the storm build until the lightning sets the world on fire
because
I thought the storm was man's voice in an inimical life...
But I was wrong, the storm is the beast that lurks in the shadows.
It sets the table for carrion.
The beast builds the cumulonimbus, preparing the kindling for the floods of war.

The storm's pallor stains man's skin so ubiquitously
That he mistakes the storm for himself.
The storm is the color of sin: six in total.

I wanted to breath about the idea of responsibility: culpability.
Watching the world burn paints you as the enemy.
We have to do something, even if we're not sure why, or for whom.

God is the people. He is the future.
He (the "Wholeness" of our (human) being) is what we strive towards:
The Perfection of Humanity
The Peace of our Souls
The Sustenance of our Planet
The Respect of All Life
The Beauty of Divine Soul in All our Works
The Tempered Passion of Truthful Expression
Love for, and Security in, Ourselves that Spreads into Love for the Community
Patience Under Hardship and Tolerance Under Misunderstanding

Without setting our goals upon improving humanity, we feel empty.
If we're not focused on being good people, why are we even here?

That's all for today...

Enjoy!

DEW
683 · Jul 2016
Silent Addiction...
Watch the rain wash away wishing for new sprout to take root
Smiles and traces of kisses on your face, I wish love weren't moot

Do you remember, through the fog and haze, the sun shines bright?
We spread our wings and, holding hands, the sky is where we take flight

Radio waves and satellite rays illuminate our trails across the heavens
Look to my lips as I try to plant you with my love, my voice beckons

I tell you of your beauty and, like a mirror, you tell me we're alone
Tell me more, tell me alone is a bitter fantasy, love is deeper than marrow

Stars explode and light evaporates into crystal tears tearing fabric
Life can be more than a dying sun, it can be more than just words

We're like batteries you and I, burning and fueling the engine of industry
Let's forget where we came from, let's forget who we are truly

I want to be lost, I want to be broken and shatter, can you fix me
Can you be all the queen's horses and all the queen's ******?

No. Maybe we're here for no reason more than Humpty Dumpty is fiction
So I will sit under the ruin of the willow tree and mumble stories of my silent addiction
This is a poem that I wrote on May 18th, 2010.

I read this over and thought... yup, have to post it to HP.com

I hope you all find it worthy as well :)

Enjoy!

DEW
680 · Mar 2017
White Sheets Whisper...
White sheets flutter...
they dance around the room
they whip and crack like storm-kissed sails
I cower in fear, my bed is empty save for pillows.

I rest my head
I'm nearly dead
I ache with dread
I crumble, like abandoned bread
and the table we set
is unwoven by time.
Splinters, like loose thread, pile up as do bones.
We are no longer held together by compassion,
we are butchered by sharp tongues and piercing glares,
for shame! We thought it was a funhouse, but we revel in slaughter.

White sheets flutter...
they wave like sleeping flags
they wave like quaking lands
then they settle and I hear the white sheets whisper
and the whispers haunt me
are they soaked by old lovers
tears like oceans raining into the sky
blood like rivers escaping the bed
bowels of deceit coughing up their secrets
let us drink all this vile bile and be drunken by horrors.

Is that the only way we can escape?
Not sure how all the ideas came together or where the inspiration was derived. I just had a thought:
"What if our bed sheets were ghosts? What would they say?"
678 · Feb 2016
Jailor of Dreams...
My brain ticks with a different kind of vigor
My brain licks at time, tasting new flavor
My brain thirsts for what isn't mine, nor my neighbours
My brain bursts at the dreams by a prickly Jailor.

Hail her, she mounts the mountains in attempts to see thee.
Completely unphased by the fountains that writhe beneath me.
I turn my back in revenge, revenge that bleeds me,
Dry of my vigor, dry of my fire for I am clay. See?

Mould me she said, with eyes deeper than gold strewn caverns in the beyond.
They perplex me, so, oh, so greatly they vex me, they stress me of concern.
I burn, nay, I am clay, so I yearn for this. Fair lady may I ask for one last kiss?
In my stead she kissed a statue instead, and left a mark, a deep copper red.

Goodbye she said, and she left the statue be, till the earth caved in, and so did the sea.
I cannot tell you how, or even of when. Or of when, or even of how can I not tell you?
Wow, I can tell you I saw a sky blue.
Or black, after Jailor's attack. Halt!

Stop dreaming! Oh please, do stop it henceforth!
I am mightily weary, must make trip to the north.
Lonely I have been, for you have not been.
So wake up and walk with that lop-sided grin.
Oh, what a tiresome companion you are,
Since I have made haste to journey thus far,
With you left behind after I had begun,
So pick up those feet, and away wierdy one.

Off we went, with my dreams in tow.
Whether I will have chance to taste them, I do not know...
But I know one thing, a something so grand.
When I next feel weary and dreary of hand,
I shall await to journey, that dreamer's land.
I wrote this on February 23rd, of 2011.

Five years, eh?

Yeah... five years.
Somehow, I'm learning to be a poet all over again.
Jeez.

LOL
663 · Dec 2017
Hot Button, Good Lovin'...
I drank her in with my lonesome stare
I said,
"Give me that good lovin'
darling it don't take work
to turn on your oven..."
First she feigned indifference
then she sighed with deference
and I coaxed her in like a trout in spring.

Honey I'm looking for the hot button to push
some women will holler,
men like me will shush
cause the hot button just needs the right touch
celebrate good lovin' with me, don't fuss...

Politics are all about the hot button.
Men with the long arms ain't seen nothin'.
Law man bows to the law maker.
Hot button respects your journalistic prayer.

Some men see what some men hide,
but you can keep hiding if the law will abide.
Even when the law man says no-no
lawmaker's got a hearse:
'nother **, 'nother **...

Hot button's the only thing you'll see in print.
What your momma's momma says is what will glint.
The bird is the word, I'll say in vain,
but top dollar pays what's at the nose of the vane.

I've wanted to push the hot button all night long
classic poems galore, but mine are all wrong.
I guess I'll go back to where I was born,
chew a dog bone, scraps, with my baby teeth worn.

In the junkyard, I see yesterday's hot buttons
emaciated bells and whistles just struttin'
They've lost their minds and luster, no thanks
I'm like,
"These are the gals you see walking the planks."
Every day more hot buttons walk in line,
heaven is just a misery for these topics of history
but I polish them with chrome
I get desperate, what can I say.
I'll never leave a hot button to rot with dismay.

Just give me another hour, good lovin' can dream.
I'll bring a hot button to you, good Lord! It'll gleam.
So, I just wanted to write for the sake of writing.
I have a theme running through this, of course, from the title to the last line, but I also just wanted to write since it's been a while.

This poem doesn't have a consistent rhythm and I partly didn't mean for that to happen, but I also needed it to be this way because of the conversational tone of the piece.

In the end, it's its own little romp through resentment and frustration over my life firstly, but also the life we all share: the sorry state of the world.

As always, enjoy!

DEW
658 · Feb 2016
Just Ice...
Justice,
Was my way of seeing,
The world's mandatory madness,
Until I understood,
Justice...

The sun shines,
On the unjust and the just,
Alike, because to call all this madness,
Is also to be undeserving of,
It's true wonder.

In order to understand,
One must be threaded through the eye,
Of the needle, and stitched into the multi-layered fabric,
Of this bountiful, tightly-wound world,
To see the mighty hand.

When you trust that justice,
Has your best interests at heart, you will not,
Fight the ebb and flow of decisions calling you out to experience,
The thrill and trauma, and pushing you back,
To count your many blessings.

I've often said, "Look at that! Wow!"
And not understood you consider it commonplace,
Because you gave up in seeing the finer details of something known,
Not knowing you didn't know, and not seeing,
What you have not tried to see.

My God is a thing of fire. An inferno of change.
His hand of destruction is bested by his hand of love.
His will of iron is only tempered by his relentless emotion of truth.
His laws of eternity are only understood by the wise.
His home houses only the decidedly divine.

Imperfection is just ice,
Floating on the surface,
And when it all melts,
Endless waters arise,
Washing away our hate,
Our disasters, petty cares,
But bringing them back,
Because once again,
Justice preserves the good,
And the good must rise, too.
I like this one.

It communicates my feeling of "ascension".
From where, I won't tell you.
I will tell you, "There's a reason why people believe in God. A good reason... a great reason."
653 · Jan 2018
Feminine Fickle...
Her feminine fickle,
does tickle my pickle.
I sample the fruit.
Tastes like a sickle.

She cuts me with passion,
and when my pulse is crashin'
she decides to save me.
I wake up thrashin'.
I'd like to cash in,
on love's fashion,
but she gives me no portion,
of her cookie's ration.
Date: 2/24/2016

A strange poem I found while digging through my hundreds of iPod notes.
Notes that I haven't touched in a long time, so it's refreshing to take a look.
My notes on an old novel of mine are especially delightful :)
I'd share them here, but NONE of it would make sense to any of you unless you've got a black belt in insanity, LOL ;)

As always, enjoy!

DEW
652 · Jun 2016
Post-Love...
From the fading warmth of my cheek,
her arm cascaded to her side,
like the minute hand of a clock:
how minute I felt in the absence
of touch.

It was her touch
that revealed what it is
to be alone.
It is her touch
that cemented the truth
built up
like a fairy-tale tower,
plastered upon my skin;
rooted
in each step I take.

As time passes,
in my lofty solitude,
I forget her face.
I forget the trace
of touch,
marking out the
far reaches of
my heart,
the territory she stole,
the jigsaw piece she
lost.

What remains is a memory...
Enshrined
in the gems
of dragon's treasure;
entombed
in the lands
of hopeless measure:
it remains.

I seek it out
in a perilous journey,
across arid time, and crooked space
it bathes in rubies,
it's slender edges, and soft lace;
there's her face!

The memory in the crook
of my lap, it sates
my bleeding heart
my barren fates
circadian rhythm, it sings to me
it's precious here
a sight to see
go now life
leave me be
with her I'm fixed
no broken dreams.

I cradle memory
turn it over to find...
What's this? An edge is cracked?
How come!
Is it the witching hour?
Where's loaded gun?
The memory pours
out forth the fun
I lose the memory
dear love is done.

Out on the steps
of my life post-love,
I share a drink
with a charcoal dove.
I really feel the rhythm when I read this over.
I hope you can, too!

Enjoy!

DEW
652 · Oct 2016
Bereft... (Haiku Triplet)
SEARCHING...
there on horizon,
sight unseen, treasure untold,
I seek its wonder.

WELCOMED...
craved in the seizing,
sating thirst in this, my soul,
I sing mortal glee.

ABANDONED...
come has fallen hour,
soul aches from broken dream's shards.
hope? never again.
With the Haiku Triplets (or Quartets) I write,
I try to tell a story with each part having,
the potential to stand on its own.

They can be separated, yet still whole.

Enjoy!

DEW
649 · Mar 2018
The Phantom's Farewell...
Her death was like quicksand
I tried to escape the grief
I tried to run, swim, crawl
but, like spectral arms,
I was dragged back beyond the precipice
down into the gravely depths
down to my despair.

I sought after her and found crumbs
but the trail of bread yielded only hunger,
hunger for perhaps her scent
perhaps echoes of her voice as she fades
into the distance
perhaps her reflection trapped in a mirror
any sign that she were still living
but the world had closed her chapter
and my hunger became a fasting...
I once hoped for love everlasting,
but my truth will never be love ever-after.

Just when I thought hope was forgotten,
I found an envelope with her name scrawled upon it.
Her crest engraved the wax of the seal.
The torment of her abandonment sunk into me once more,
and the quicksand trickled all around.
How dare I imagine her again?
How dare I open this audacious package.
Indeed,
I pry open the letter with haste,
mouth dry, tongue limp like dry wood,
eyes bulging,
my nourishment is within this envelope, of course!

Indeed,
within it, I find cobwebs and shame.
A picture of her I had never seen.
Her arm wrapped around the trusted embrace of a suitor
and I cannot penetrate this world she has found,
I do not belong.

I burn the picture...
With each spark of the fading image,
somehow I am freed
and the chains she bound to my soul are now vines
I reside in a fortress, barren, but safe.
Unassailable.
Cold.
"Darling?" I hear.
My wife peeks down from the stairs,
"Supper is ready..."
Of course.
Of course a mistress can never be real.
She will ever be a phantom.
And phantoms can never say farewell.
They were never there.
I'm thinking about this feeling of never being satisfied:
of having what one desires only to realize,
our desires are just dreams...
and dreams, when fulfilled, are not guaranteed to be truths.

Moreover, the feeling of having far too much,
more than we can consume,
more than we know what to do with, but we continue eating,
and realize a man can be bottomless,
despite always being filled.

Anyway, just musing.

Enjoy!

DEW
649 · Mar 2018
Full of Emptiness...
Floating in an expanse, trapped in a room
the walls could be the ends of a universe,
or a martyr's doom,
and I count the atoms of its shifting embrace
it dances within sight, but ever out of reach
truer things have never been more curious
the walls are my castaway beach.

Endless journeys coil within me,
my mind is a boundless jungle:
the predators linger in hazy umbra,
while the prey lazily graze
with eyes diametrically opposed.
I am some sort of misshapen construct,
a being lost to himself, but a target nonetheless.

****** into the deep
from which secrets sweetly seep
I find answers to keep
demystifying puzzles caged by sleep
the malice in this wonderland
nibbles at the soul with perilous teeth
just to taste the suffering
of a man who's trapped beneath
beneath the undergrowth of the city
within the fissures of a sidewalk
betwixt the folds of a chewing gum wrapper
he is gnawed by the everafter,
the what if,
the may be,
maybe.

Perchance he truly listened to the bright void
oh, how it oozes soft, eldritch light
the essences of somber dealings with ethereal misfits,
whatsay he consumed the knowledge whose
questions
once consumed him?

We all imagine that he would be
empty of emptiness...
but is there such a thing?
So, this is me just thinking about how I'm always stuck questioning why life is life. How did I end up here?
We're meant not to question this concept to the point of delusion, but I find myself daily deluded. As if seeking the answer can open a door from which I can escape.

My friend, do you believe in a transcendent escape free of death?
Maybe...

And with that, enjoy!

DEW
648 · Dec 2016
Starving...
His footsteps lead to lost places
only he knew the journey;
for all else it was treacherous
they had no light like his burning.

When he drew near,
the horizons were lit as quiet embers that
rise, singing majesty to the heavens
as he rounds the Earth.

His laughter set babes to slumber and
their mothers would shake with desire,
yet none of this would stir him,
no warmth for lord of fire.

'Pon still surface of captivating sea,
a ripple racked the endless reaches
from it rose an alluring beauty,
such that sun seemed weary.

Lord of fire felt his power dim
from somewhere on Earth's rim
and sought out this source
of unyielding force.

There she was,
and how she tamed even
the dance of fickle flames
the lord she did astound.

"What have I found?"

Quick as a blink
the beauty did sink
and silence her visage
leaving lord disparaged.

He searched the sea,
unable to find beauty
no sea could sate this thirst
and erase what was seen.

There wasn't a sign
a glimmer sublime
of beauty to delight
our lord from fright.

His father chastised him
his brothers derided him
yet not fact nor fancy,
could quench him.

His fires grew fierce
they scorched friend and foe
"Where'd you last see her?"
I don't know... I don't know!

A quaking delirium
no sanctum or serum
could quench lord
and fight the flames.

The fires began to
do something tricky
they began to burn him
like a candle's wick.

His shouts pierce the aether
The heavens did respond
they put lord to sleep
mighty flames abscond.

In his dreams,
she was there,
he touched her hand,
he smelt her hair.

She was real,
how could he know
that he was asleep
an endless show,
but his thirst
was quenched
no fray, no throes
he knew what it was
to be drenched.

One brother crept by
and siphoned lord's fire
to become the object
of the living's hungry desire.

But an ember remained
in lord entombed
He's somewhere in sky
we call him Moon.
I'm so happy about this poem.
I wrote it in tribute to the song, "Starving" by Hailee Steinfeld.
That song does things to my heart... Give it a listen! LOL

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this as I have "greatly" enjoyed it!

DEW
647 · May 2024
Cradle Our Love...
callous
bruised
I held you
beheld you
with cruelty
with abandon
you
could have been cinders
cellophane
the patina of my absent mind
you
could have been a yesterday
forgotten
one of many
one, yet uncounted
one, lost in a crowd
me,
uncaring, and unbowed
heartless - ignorant

not today

today I saw you
through the window of my heart
vignetted
alone
as I always knew you
alone
without me

then

it occurred to me,
for the first time,
you were without me
and I
was without you
alone
we were alone
and I
yearned to solve your loneliness
your solitude
abrade the fixtures of mutual isolation with warmth
wear down the gloom of silence
with laughter
praise of you
hold you
close,
as if holding myself
loving myself
through you
by you,
loving me
I love you deeper
softer
sweeter
into the cradle
of our love
where we are born
in bliss
fighting the cold
of our darkening world
while the light dies
our hearts burn ablaze
seeking the truth
the higher power that united us
God, who would wed us,
love,
that can save us,
if only we tried,
if only

yet,
for tonight,
I watch you
through the window
of my heart

I shed tears
wishing I were with you
but I will settle
for our dream...
As always
enjoy,


DEW
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