We laughed as we watched,
We smiled as we played.
Then suddenly came a Romeo
to surprise my day.
He asked to play,
I nodded to agree.
Little did I know,
They set it up for me.
I spoke of numbers,
He moved the options,
I chose one paper,
there popped the question.
Go with me? He had written,
I sat staring, not saying a word.
Actually shocked and yet a bit smitten.
Jeers surfaced, wolf whistles released.
My cheeks' red however, somehow increased.
My heart was pounding,
was this really true?
I guess so,
since I said yes to you.

Hello stranger,
Can I tell you something?
Everyone's like a stranger to me.
So; you know,
it doesn't seem hard to open up to you.
'Cause all the people in my life
are becoming strangers to me.

I've seen the lies,
the problem,
deceit.
I've dealt my cards,
shuffle,
repeat.
I want a difference,
drone,
all talk.
I don't do anything,
opportunity?
Just walk.

We have to do it,
We have to change.
Stand your ground,
Hope has to remain.

Maybe it's fate,
Maybe it's destiny.
That losing the battle,
Was meant for me.

I tried my best,
I gave my all.
I'll push through again,
I WILL STAND TALL.

I lost the battle,
Not the war,
I'll spread my wings,
I will soar.

This is simply a lesson,
Life's timely reminder.
Plan well, stay strong.
Be the commander

You swore,
You said,
We'd do it together,
So is this the end?
He asked you the same thing,
And you promised sure!
Did you not once think,
In my face you slammed a door?!
I trusted you,
I felt relaxed,
Then here comes a liar, a braggart a rogue,
To steal everyone who promised,
With whispers of gold.
My eyes finally opened,
The reality they see.
In politics, they will lie
While telling you you're free.
My right hand betrayed me,
And took everything I planned.
Be sure to watch your back,
You will die under MY hand.

I'll confess I'm a coward,
and yes I am scared.
But no one really asked,
so I thought no one cared.

I'll confess I'm a liar,
And yes that is true.
Trust me this once,
I'll begin life anew.

I'll confess I'm no good,
Though I'm sure now you know.
Please, help me get up
from my all time low.

It's been some time since we've spoken,
I don't mean a one word greeting...are we broken?
I've tried everything there is
gave my pride up for this!
Are you saying it's all for nothing,
That my efforts are simply rotting?
How quaint of you to think that,
How kind of you to say
that all that I've done
will be forgotten, washed away.
How the heck do you think I feel?
That all I had been working for was never even real?
I trusted you so much,
and then you started to change.
When I made my decision,
We were still family.... Just estranged
I didn't give up,
I still cared
I couldn't stop!
But all of it
fell on deaf ears not attempting to hear,
unseeing eyes not willing to try,
dying souls not daring to live,
closed mouths not striving to speak,
shattered hearts not struggling to be made whole!
My efforts were in vain
and yet why can't I release myself from this?
Why do I still freaking care?

Every wall I've built,
Every place I've kept in,
Each stone you have thrown,
Each one you burst in.

Every time I ran,
Every time you followed,
Each time I stayed away,
Each time was simply borrowed.

Each day you would get through,
Every time I'd push you out.
Every lie I'd made,
Each one a dying shout.

I'm not used to affection,
no less, yours.
Hoping for a miracle,
truth must come by force.

Pain, helps me.
Fire, consumes me.
Hatred, devours me.
Yet love, embraces me.

I am the essence,
the raw matter in love.
Without me, there is nothing.
Nothing to have.

Everything has me,
Everything knows,
Hurt may soon take over,
from 3 simple words.

My daily facade is growing old,
But my spirit must not show it.
Weakness only attracts them more,
Indifference repels it.

They are the hyenas,
In my kingdom of prey.
One false move I die,
One false move they say.

I've built up my walls,
I've put on my armor.
But it only does little,
To cease all the clamor.

The truth is I'm scared,
But not eager to say so.
Now keep your distance,
Before you're 6ft below.

The strongest people break too,
they break when they are all used up.
At times like these a hug can help put the pieces back.
A simple hug that isn't malicious, that isn't carefree but meaningful.

We all need it once in a while,
Right now? I need it.
I need a genuine hug,
A caring hug,
A hug that means you care and you understand,
A hug that will make me feel safe again.

But right now?
No one is there to give it to me.

Slower and sadder,
Jealous and envious.
Happier and brighter,
Loud and raucous.

Looks like waiting seemed better,
Hopeful heart setter.
Looks like I saw an illusion,
a needed delusion.

An option was made,
A second choice created.
Time might have fixed it,
Waiting might heal it.

Resistance is futile,
Explanation is good as none.
Emotions are like trash,
Words are simply breezes,
Fuel my heart o temptress Hate!
Make me feel whole once more.
Doubt has never been so arrogant as today,
Martyrdom is what will rise,
Leave me be in my cavern of wonders,
I have never needed doubt in mind, nor martyrdom in heart
Both wound me, both shatter me,
and yet; both create me.

I'm sorry for being too analytical,
for thinking too deeply about things around.
I'm sorry I feel unwanted,
I do appreciate your effort, I'm just not used to it.
I'm sorry I can't handle myself,
I don't know how.
I'm sorry if  hurt you.
Some you deserved and others were just what I was used to.

I'm sorry that for all my wrongs "sorry" is the only thing I can say
I'm sorry because I am ashamed.
I'm sorry because I am insecure.
I'm sorry that I cannot explain myself to you.
I'm sorry that you can't understand what I try to tell you  so instead I hide. I hide everything because I feel as if no one will get me. No one does.
I'm sorry that I still feel hurt when your eyes fill with disappointment because I can't deliver.
I'm sorry if I was not what you expected.

Chained by truth,
Chained by tears,
Chained by dreams, and
Chained by fears.

Coward to self,
Victor to all,
Fears naught but one:
Which is Death's call.

Annoyance is plenty,
A straight face is kept.
Tears of joy,
Have never been wept.

Bane is joy,
Boon is sorrow.
Was there still hope,
To be a morrow?

Never change,
Never bother.
To show weakness
To another.

My dear you had surprised me,
My friends you had planned.
To help you in giving me,
That something in your hand.

Obvious? A little bit,
But sweet as you ever were.
A rose as blue as the sky,
Another friend saying hi.
A white chocolate for more sweetness,
And doubled as ever for your concern.

My life's beginner and Ender,
Thank you, I may be scared,
But I will endure,
Any relationship,
We might conjure.

My swirls,
My calm.
My deepest resolves.
Come undone with you,
My beginning, my end.
I thought a lie,
Another wrong.
You made my thoughts go AWOL.
Ender of my life
Beginner of my rebirth:
Will you let me be yours?

I feel so happy,
Light-hearted and free
Of all the things this was one,
Very much I thought might not be.
Each moment I remember, each second I recall.
You were there standing in the midst of it all.
Oh, joy my King sing me that song.
Under which I fell,
Much a victim to your spell.

My dearest little one, open thy mind
Let it not be tainted with wars and lies.
Learn to look back, leave not your past behind,
The answer lies there beneath hurt and sighs.

Accept what life is to find what is right,
In their minds or yours only you decide.
You can give up or go down with a fight,
In the meeting of fate, you shall preside.

Remember our time, remember it all.
Mistakes and failures, awards and honor,
Protect yourself from temptations call.
In this book of life, you are the author.

So understand and be open minded,
Though be careful, lest you are blind-sided.

A trickle, a glimmer,
a ray of hope.
Starting from nothing,
Ending to elope.

Fights in the middle,
Smiles in between.
Whatever happens to us,
this is the best I've been.

I love you so much today,
I'll love you even more tomorrow,
The love we have can never leave me hollow.

Dearest, I'm sorry
For all that I've done.
For forgetting you in webs,
Doubt hath spun you upon.

Tell me my dear,
Am I an annoyance,
For if you are happier elsewhere,
I'd even give you guidance.

Slap me, punch me,
Do what you will.
As long as we're good,
The pain shalt be killed.

I swear on my honor,
My pride and my love,
I will never hurt you,
I'll be your angel from above.

My downfall.
Slow,
Excruciating,
Waited by all,
Seen by all.

Plotted by few,
wanted by many.
That is my demise,
my destiny.

Pain, helps me;
and yet hurts me.
It brings me away
by keeping me there.

A blade,
A word,
A gun,
Absurd.

All are my downfall,
Pain, I must decide for her.
Be she the curse,
or be she the cure.

By the time you see this,
I hope we are both truly happy.
By the time you see this,
I hope I haven’t done something heartbreaking for you to leave me.
By the time you see this I hope you’ve already realized,
You are my dark
You are my light
You are what keeps me going.
We may be too young,
I may be too naive right now
But whatever happens,
Please know I love you.
From the depths of this cracked soul and heart.

I LOVE YOU

I love you for who you are.
I don’t care anymore what happened in the past.
Losing you is not worth fighting over
“who was wrong, who was right“

I LOVE YOU

I love you for the flaws you have
I love you for the moments we spent laughing
I love you for the moments we shared crying
I love every bit of you.
And I hope you know that too.

Sometimes I think about,
The words coming out of my mouth.
Sometimes, I dream about
The words you never could say.

Those sweet, sweet words
That had me falling from grace.
Those words reserved for another,
Another who stands in my place.

But I try not to care,
I found my drug.
The best kind they give,
A genuine smile,
A loving hug.

There are pictures I have kept
Saving each for the feelings brought back
But I cannot send them,
I cannot right now.

There are pictures I have kept,
Kept for the memories we had.
I’d love to send them
But would it be bad?

There are pictures I have kept,
They still live in my phone.
Reminding me of you,
Is it so bad that I want old to be the new?

These pictures I keep,
Tell me of our love,
Tell my heart be strong
tell me to rise above.

I thought I could take it
and so I endured.
I thought I could make it
and so I went on.
Dismissing each thought
each farewell suggestion.
Little did I know
I was not that strong.

I've been good and I've been behaved.
I haven't had an idea like that for even more than days.
But somehow recently, I have been thinking,
planning once more,
my life which is fleeting.

I don't know why it's hard to tell others,
hard to tell those who you love and vice versa,
They tried asking when they seem to catch me,
but it doesn't seem that they take me seriously.
I'm just that extrovert who's had a bad day.
Doubtful it seems for me to wish myself away.
Some people have it worse and say I can't complain,
but this time it's different,
cause maybe you can handle it but this is my pain.

Stop calling me dumb,
Stop calling me intimidating,
Stop calling me walang hiya
please, stop calling me big,
It's not exactly a compliment,
so please stop saying it.
I thought you understood me
though maybe I'm at fault here,
for I could never show my feelings
as clear as my streaming tears.

For you my dearest,
My heart is calling.
For you sweet one,
I mostly am falling.
For you o life's ender,
My eyes search.
For you they look,
In all depths of the earth.
you bought me things,
My soul rejoiced.
My doubts faltered,
I had voiced.
For you my hopeful love,
I can truly see,
The wings of God's angels,
We're meant to be.

Ladies and Gentlemen..
I've moved on..
from the people who've hurt me,
from the people I cared,
from the people who I trusted
after they shunned me
when I wanted to care.
I've finally accepted that they won't be there,
when I turn around..
They won't have a care to spare.

When you say "I love you"
Please say it to me
and not while looking somewhere or at someone else.
I don't have the guts to tell you and so
I live with my own consequences.
Have I ever told you that my body is no longer as important to me as before?
That getting sick and feeling pain is a way for me to know I live?
Have I ever told you how horrible I feel day after day?
That each hour passing by decreases people's love for me and I don't want that especially if your love for me as well decreases.
That each time I do not fulfill your request you'll love me less and less.
Angering you does nothing to help and so I am not to speak lest I disappear for long from this earth.

Here it starts,
Another journey beginning,
I had no idea
A surprise was in store.
When I was to open that creaky old door.
All was pitch black and I waited to see,
If there was possibly a person to scare me.
But when I peeked through,
In the middle was you.
In hand were flowers and a chocolate I see
You started the song and played it for me.
I was overwhelmed couldn't take it all in,
All I did was gasp and wait for it to sink in.
After all that was done I didn't even know,
You still had friends to join the show.
"Will you be my Valentine"
Burst through the door
while in your hand you still held more.
Forever? A lifetime?
I still couldn't speak.
All my these feelings left me so weak.
I had to choose, I was red as a rose.
So the best and happiest one I chose.
Yes I say and yes I will.
I'll stand by my choice until time keeps still.

She may be just a friend
But she is something I cannot compete with.
And it doesn't feel good.

..I'm in love you
..I miss you
..I care for you
..I adore you
..I can't stand seeing you with others
..I get hurt too
..I don't want you to leave me too.

.. I love you

Why is it sometimes relieving when I think of how I die?
My imagination places me in everyday situations and just dropping down dead. Then people would stop and stare or maybe just pass by?
Would people other than my family be affected?
Would my so-called friends even realize what hurt they'd put me through?
Would you even care?
Would you ever realize that sometimes you step on me and I allow you to because I'm scared?
Everyone is scary.
They all can break me apart
I want to die and just go away to a better place
I want a new life..
I want some of you in it but that will ever happen will it?