i am not supposed to exist.
let me burn myself, please.
i've been dragging my feet
for so long, i am creating a scene
publishing the same old beat
writing the same old myths
it's true; i am beyond incurable
although, i believe in the impossible
and the fact that everyone has their own downfall,
but i believe in everyone but myself
... wow, isn't it a call?
my existence doesn't matter, i know. let's be real. there's something wrong with me and i don't know how to end it or change it. is this really the end of the eccentric being i once knew? or is this another poetry for me to realize that every day, it's just getting worse?
Wal-Mart at 12 a.m. is almost eerie.
Silent save the occasional shopper or manager,
Perhaps following you to ensure you don't do anything foolish.
Picking out the dumbest things just because you need to smile.
Playing with your friend in the toys, letting go for once,
Just to be chased away by management.
Losing one of the squad and looking for her.
Wandering over to the makeup, glancing at the camera,
Then picking out what you want and pocketing it an aisle over.
Going to the arcade and winning for once.
It's not a secret, you needed a win,
Plus your little sibling will love the new stuffed toy.
Seeing a random family member.
Rushing away as to remain unseen,
Knowing if your parents find out you will be dead.
The general feeling of disassociated contentedness when you finally leave.
You won't remember half of what happened anyway,
But who cares.
Shopping at night is the best.
The way he walks
And his complete look.
Drives me absolutely nuts.
The way you turn red,
The way you blush.
I have to know, do you ever think of me too?
I think I've caught you staring across the room.
But it's hard to tell, with all these rules and layers built up.
Please give me a sign, if you see a spark in me, if there could ever be an us.
As of right now, to you;
I'm just another employee.
And To all reading this,
Wish me luck.
I have my heart wrapped around something forbidden
My eyes set on a cloud I can see but not touch.
I can't help it, mister.
you are the one I adore.
The one I yearn to touch.
I do hope, this won't become too much.
Yep, I'm falling for my manager. And the worst thing about it is I can't even tell anyone. Stupid, stupid heart. You always want what you can't have.
I hope these rules are the only thing that keep us apart. Besides the 13 year age difference.
I wish i could do
The right ******* thing for once
But i guess i cant
I never know the right thing to say or do.
this isn't fair
screams louder than the blizzard raging on outside
life isn't fair
i'm tired of this whole living thing
it's not a type of tired that sleep can fix
i don't want to feel ever again.
bad day, i still love you though im glad we're still together but i can't live anymore
these words trapped in my throat
each passing second more and more times they fold over
I can't even call you by your name anymore
I wish we were different
I wish you were different
this shouldn't be a chore
you shouldn't be above me
I can't forget how I'm feeling
please leave me I don't want to be the villain
the love I feel for you isn't what it was
these warm rays have turned into scorching heat
you burned away at my psyche and I'm the shell of the past me
but I want to love you
I want to shelter you away from yourself
but I cant fix this
you refuse to change
don't get me wrong I still love you as a person but I don't love who you are with me
insecurities swallow you whole and you're trying to take me with you
I cant go too I've fought too hard to not go
I want to break up
why is trying to break up so hard when you still care deeply for the person?
You make me feel sad.
To the point where I'm only getting mad.
But you seem so glad
And don't feel bad
Not even a fricken tad.
I feel like I'm drowning
All alone, no help in sight
Find myself constantly scowling
Though I try to smile with all my might.
Waves of sorrow drag me down
To the depths of cold agony
Feelings are an ocean I tread with no sound
I'm trying to swim yet I sink to the bottom of this miserable sea.
Its late, I'm tired, and sad.