One and Only: Poems

377 · Jul 2015

WRONG

One and Only Jul 2015

WRONG

What is wrong?
Is it wrong to love twice?
Is it wrong to say lies?
Is it wrong if it's okay,
If one who loves you acted anyway?

My heart is torn,
My brain worn.
It's going two ways right now,

My brain says one,
the heart another.
But the next day
it switches altogether.

These two from the start,
were there all along.
One with a poem,
The other a song.

#love #end #teen #school #sing #high

362 · Oct 2016

Never

One and Only Oct 2016

Never

I should never have let you taste ambrosia,
should never have given you sweet nectar.
I should never have given in and let you have your way.
Now that you've gotten a taste of freedom,
there is no way to stop you before it's too late.

It was my fault. I'm sorry.

#love #freedom #temptation #boundaries

359 · Nov 2016

Now

One and Only Nov 2016

Now

I used to dream of success,
of finding hope in the darkest abyss,
of being loved in a hateful world,
of seeking truth in this messed up world,
of making peace in a chaotic ensemble.

Now?
I dream of escaping reality,
of ending my life sooner or later.
I dream of a day when I don't cry myself to sleep,
a day when I'll feel as happy as before.
I dream of a time when I won't worry about being replaced,
a time when I won't just be the second option.
I dream of people who would not hurt me,
of people who do not carelessly throw words around not minding their actions.

Now I dream of a different life, one unlike mine, one where I do not feel used, forgotten, unloved, or broken.

I don't know what to do anymore. I can survive but not live truly. I just want it all to end. I can't go to anyone, I don't trust myself nor them.

#love #dream #friends #pain #death #end #hurt #please #now

357 · Mar 2015

Friends?

One and Only Mar 2015

Friends?

I read it once in a book,
Friendship may end in love,
but never love in friendship.

He asked to be my Romeo,
he was too kind to hear my "No".
As time progressed I thought I liked him,
but then I saw acts, quite unlike him.

He was not independent,
that I let go.
He was too protective,
to that I say NO.

I am a strong person,
I am independent,
you may be sweet,
But I'm sorry your weak.

I'd know the feeling if we were meant to be,
but please understand you're not the one for me.

Please, try and see.
We were just made to be friends,
you and me.

i'm sorry of its ******. I just, needed to get it off my mid.

351 · Jun 2016

Thoughts of an Oversensitive Mind

One and Only Jun 2016

Thoughts of an Oversensitive Mind

Breathe in
Breathe out.
"It'll be over soon"

"It isn't going to be fine"

"All will be forgotten then forgiven"

"But what if it won't go back to normal"

"Relax, you're over-reacting"

"What if it's hopeless?? What can I do then??"

Breathe in, Breathe out
"You can and you will"

You can do this. You can survive. You don't need to live. You can survive. You'll look back at this and realize this is stupid. But for now all you need is support. You love him, it's all that matters.

#love #pain #hurt #survival #cut #anxious

338 · Sep 2015

Why?

One and Only Sep 2015

Why?

How happy was I
when we first spoke,
when you would call
and bring joy to me.

It went on for a while
but maybe.
Somehow you grew tired of me.

It hurts because I believed,
It hurts because I fell.
It hurts so much more,
because I thought it went well.

Today I was excited,
to see you at last.
I would see you amidst them all.

But what I saw,
and what I felt,
made my vision go small.

There you were,
standing with a smile.
The kind that made this life worthwhile.

But everything changed
when I realized.
I wasn't the one who made you smile.

She stood beside you,
hair hiding her face.
You spoke sweetly,
like honey's embrace.

It pained me to think,
that you didn't want me.
That all we had was just play.

Why didn't you like me?
Why didn't you say?
But I guess that's how my story will go.
Each and every day.

I like you, but you like someone else. I thought you liked me back after the late night calls. Laughing because we couldn't hear each other, playing around like kids.. IT FREAKING HURTS.

#love #feelings #pain #hope #hurt

309 · Nov 2018

My Love

One and Only Nov 2018

My Love

One of the happiest days of my life
Was seeing you again after 3 months of pining.
I can’t say I didn’t expect what happened,
But I know it wasn’t for the lack of loving.
No.
We loved so much and tried other ways,
But this is not our end.
If anything this needed to happen,
If anything we need to be friends once again.
No one is to blame, no one to be held at fault.
Heal, mend and grow.
Maybe in the future, we’ll be even closer
You never know.

My Love be happy
My Love stay sweet
My Love breathe freely
One day we will meet.

My heart is yours,
Don’t you fret.
You are the home
It will never forget.

It still hasn’t sunk in that we parted but I know I’m already missing something and I know it’s for the best. Take your time love ko, I’ll be here for you for better and for worse, as your friend or more I promise I’ll be here. Please take care of yourself and open up to a friend. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KEAN, till next time ❤️

#kean #love #sweet #missing #heal #space #iloveyou

305 · Nov 2018

Dream

One and Only Nov 2018

Dream

I had a dream
It started out innocent
I was running through the city
Saw some friends
Had sweets and cookies
Funnily enough
I got lost after running
Then all I remember
Is falling, falling.

Blackout then lights

Saw you lying beside me
Eyes so sweet
It made me swoon.
You looked at me
Held me
Made me feel safe.
Kissed me,
Caressed me
Touched me in many ways.
Held me close,
And grinned with intent.
But no sooner than it started.
My dream had to end.

Woke up with a start,
And a fast beating heart.
I craved for your touch
And your presence so much

But I guess that’s all it was
A dream.

I wished my dream would’ve gone on and finished at least. Or would come true in reality. But we don’t have that luxury right now.

#dreams #love #lust #craving #pining #missingyou

302 · Jan 2019

I love you, be free

One and Only Jan 2019

I love you, be free

It hurts so much,
Loving one person to your max,
And one day needing to make a choice.

Stay and they are confused and tormented.
Or let go and he is free from your commitment.

I chose to let go…
Lord, watch over him please.
Give him the best in life because he deserves it.
I know he is strong but in times of weakness please show yourself to him so that he can believe in himself, the way I believe in him.
Lord, I love him.
I wish him the best.
-i

I chose to let go after a month of “a confusing break up” because it was no longer fair to both of us. I wish we could’ve stayed but, I could never let him give his dream up. I love him too much. I hope wherever he’d go he’d be happy. And I hope I meant as much to him as much as he meant to me.

#kean #love #lettinggo

281 · Feb 2016

...

One and Only Feb 2016

...

Today is the day, and yet
Here we are,
Each of us hoping, not getting too far.

Probably through it all,
And yet it knocks.
So I ask you to think,
To whom is the pleasure, while taking the locks.

Dig deeper and see what I mean.

#love #why #emotions

239 · Aug 2016

Ironic

One and Only Aug 2016

Ironic

It's ironic to think,
I forgave my bullies for what they put me through.
I worked hard to make them my friends,
to make them feel happy and loved.
Only in the end to be heartbroken, left an outcast, forgotten and hated once more.
My heart hurts each time I see what is left of a once fruitful friendship
and to remember only all the times you shunned me before and excluded me from your lives.
It hurts, please I thought you knew me
I am not strong enough for all this
Please I don't want this pain anymore
Please

Where did I go wrong? I can't think straight anymore. I need escape I need this to end

183 · Jan 2019

#1

One and Only Jan 2019

#1

I want so badly to hear you,
I want so badly to feel your embrace.
Tell me hello out of the blue,
Say that you love me too.

But then after that what?
We still can’t be together,
What was I thinking...

I wish I never let go,
But what would you have wanted though.

I miss you so badly

159 · Jan 2019

Why

One and Only Jan 2019

Why

Why does letting go
hurt so bad?
I thought by doing this,
I’d make both of us happy.
I dunno about you,
But I think I was happier
when I had the slightest chance
to come back into your arms.

But Lord knows what is best for both of us.
Far away as we are taken from each other.
I hope you find the happiness I know you deserve.
And I hope I can find a way to be a better person.

I still love you.... and I think I might always do so.

— The End —