if i don't know me,
how can anyone else?
if i don't love me,
how can anyone else?

i spend so much time on others,
i've forgotten to listen
and to love myself.

dear one,
my heart breaks at the thought of you.
you deserved to live,
but that right was taken away from you.
God made you to become something, someone great.

I know you're safe in Heaven,
but I still see your life being taken away so vividly and painfully.
I'm sorry, dear one.

I wish I could have done something,
but your mom's mind was set.
maybe she was scared or felt stuck,
maybe she felt like there wasn't another option.

still,
your life is now gone.
all you could have been is gone.

you never got to experience all the joys and pains of life.
you never got to speak your first word, see your first sunset, graduate high school, go on your first date, get married, or have your own family.

i'm so sorry, dear one.
my heart aches for all you could've been.
i love you,
sweet one.

Father help me place my value in this and this alone.
I am a child of God, the one true King.
When all else fades away, nothing can strip me from that truth.
When I don't feel like enough, remind me I am Yours and You are mine.
I am Your child, what a marvelous thing.
I am so beloved, I am made in Your image.
When every other attribute is stripped away, I am still this.
I am Your child, nothing else matters.

sometimes i'm done with life.
overwhelmed by the darkness,
a crushed soul still searching for the light,
but its hard to find at times.

i'm told not to give up,
but that's all i want to do.

i'm so young,
it's such a shame,
but i just wanna be done with this painful life.

i get so focused on the people around me
i lose sight of who i am
ill do almost anything to love on others
and to get their approval
but what do i think of me?
who am i at the end of the day?

Lord, thank you.
You've shown me once again Your faithfulness and love for me.

I prayed a simple prayer in the morning air with desperate lips.
No more than a week later, you started answering it.

You've brought new joy, peace, and laughter in my life.
New men that have taught me that I'm valued and worthy of love and affection.

Thank you, Lord, for these new friends and your love for me.

I pray that You'd keep my heart pure.
Keep these friendships simple and sweet.
No alternative feelings or complications.

Let us be glad in the joy of friendship, and let that be enough for my wandering heart.

Keep my intentions true, Father, and protect us as we grow closer.
Cover us with wisdom and prudence as we move forward.

Thank you, Lord.