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Peris Wambui Apr 22
BITTER SILENT CRIES

LETTER TO MY LONG GONE CHILD ,

Dear child,

You came as a surprise,
By turn out of events,
Everything happened so fast,
Mind-blogging and my fears came to reality,
The planned surprised us with the unplanned.

I feel guilty, mirthless.
Disguised by my actions,
Yeah, I did wish one day I'd have a kid,
I hoped and desired to one day fill it with love and affection,
I hoped that one day I'd get to feel him in my arms and feel it with warmth,
I did hope that one day, he'll be the reason I wake up smiling and inspired to live for a lifetime.
I hoped for a better life.

But what did i do,
Instead of being elated,
I became the terminator,
I killed all my dreams,
Rushed to an absurd decision,
My desires turned out to be my nightmares,
My expectations became the catalyst to my destruction.

Everyday I swim an ocean with no end,
With sharp ends that pierce my soul with sorrow,pain and remorse.
Get to feel the breeze with no significance,
Doomed light that gets me tripping,
Faded sunshine that reminds me that you are long gone.
This load inside my heart's so heavy,
Like a rock permanently placed.

My child,
Will you ever forgive mama?
Are you safe wherever you are?
Do they give you the kind of treatment I failed to give you?
Do they wake up early to check up on you and kiss you goodnight?
Do they teach you how to pronounce words I failed to?
Please talk to me,
Give me a sign,
I really miss you.

Letter from mama

#tortured☆soul...

©tiana...💔😪
How can animal rights be defended,
not defending the rights of the unborn children...
How can the rights of the unborn children be defended,
not defending the poor or the hungry children...
Oh, the right, oh, the left...
Conservative jerks will call me names like a "leftist",
And on the leftist side, they will accuse me of being a rightist.
I am not a prophet in my country.

1.2.2021
Translation.
Martina Oct 2020
Today I had an abortion.
I held the foetus in my hands, still hot, covered in blood, so tiny, yet so recognisable in its incomplete finishedness.
I was at a loss, it hit me slowly at first, then all at once, I started to cry.

It wasn't unexpected, I've been having this weird feeling lately, as if I knew that I wasn't going to see it live.
I felt like that from the start, to be honest, my stupid paranoid head couldn't avoid the thought, but why worry? Everything was going fine.

I don't know what caused it, if you ripped it out, if my body rejected it, or if it just wasn't the right time; maybe all these things together, in the end it takes two.

And so there I was, looking at this unborn being, staring back at me with your eyes, finally ending the dying life we put on it from the first moment.
The organs and the limbs all at the right place: I could see what they could have been, if they hadn't been so weak. It looked like that undeveloped Polaroid I took of you that still lies at the bottom of the drawer: I know what it is, but no one else can see it.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to let it go, I couldn't throw the remains away, not yet.
I put them in a shoebox, under my bed. I'll have a beer, sleep on it, tomorrow I'll see.
I have to get used to the emptiness first, I have to untangle myself from around your fingers, get some paracetamol for this ******* headache.
thomezzz Sep 2020
I’m sorry I lied about you...
that instead of being honest,
I hid behind grief and shame.
Truth is, I was so excited to meet you
but knew in the end I couldn’t keep you.

So instead, I waited with sterile wallpaper
and on me were cold hands of a stranger
and I said a brief farewell that wasn’t any less painful.

And afterwards, I could’ve sworn I was okay
but the thought of you, I couldn’t escape
and it started to feel like the biggest mistake.

I’m sorry I lied about you...
but I made the hardest decision
I have ever made that day.
The day I lied about my abortion
and claimed it was a miscarriage.
Riley Larkin Jun 2020
I’m sorry I can’t bring you into this world
Wether you were a boy or a girl I’m not ready
My spirit is low and heart heavy
I don’t love myself and it’s unfair
It’s selfish to bring you into a world of despair
I’m a drug addict trying to find peace
In a miserable place where no where feels like home
I’m trying so hard but I still feel like I’m on my own
I wish I could be happy and give you a life worth living
But I’m stuck in a broken tea cup that won’t stop spinning
I wish I could get off and give you my love.
But I’m too young to bring you into a world I’m so unsure of
Rozana Feb 2020
I cower silently just outside the door
Numb hands digging deeper in pockets
But this cold, it’s not the rain
I shiver from a chill coming from within
Life exudes misery
Sometimes in a minute, a second, an eternity
I came to know the extremes of loss in one of those moments
And I fear the bitterness of this breath
Echoing the regret of what no longer fills me
Moomin Apr 2020
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I bring to you a sad affair
Someone who evokes such fury, yet one who faces deep despair

For this, the accused who faces death, or lives according to your decree
Who makes no statement with dying breath, yet silently invokes her plea    

What crimes are done by this lost soul, what evil deeds did she aspire?
And where the witness of her death toll, the evidence that guilt requires?

No crime recorded, no victim slain, no trace of ****** or robbery
No voice of condemnation raised, none here to force a guilty plea  

She has no wrongs in her short life, has no deceit within her soul
No hurt has she, nor human spite, no determined selfish goal  

But one accuser, here today, one joined in life and woven fate
This one though will have her say, and claim the life she helped create

This witness claims to suffer pain, and a prison, should the accused survive
That her life will ebb and be restrained, and sadness would always reside

For some accusers have been defiled, by monstrous beasts of lust and hate
Others young and so beguiled, are induced by charm, so participate  

Others spy disease and defect, and cry acts of mercy to prevent
They choose to extinguish and protect, rather than one day regret

And then are those alone who strive, who cannot toil with life's results
And so instead, they choose their lives, and cry for freedom do exult

But where in these stands the accused, silent and awaiting fate
Her breath and freedom she is refused, for all the reasons the witness states

Is she alive, does she have form, within her soft and warm abode?
Where her heart beats, and fingers form, and from miracles she is wove    

Was she not also one defiled, is she not young and helpless too?
Would malady she reject, and death instead would opt to choose?  

And would not her life loneliness cure, and make a future with great light?
And comfort one who gave her life, and join her purpose true and right

For the accused can offer more than this, should she be allowed today to  live
Has so much that she can share, so much love and joy to give

For in our world, where children die, through hate and fate and evil men
We cherish those we lost too soon, and yearn to see our child again  
  
But what of the accused today, what future do we her deny?
A nurse, a doctor or a friend, a mother of so many lives?

How sad the accuser, so resolute, yet desperate to belong
In a world where our rights are so absolute, that they obscure the wrongs

And what she gains through this sad act, she loses so much more
A legacy of love and hope, a daughter who will adore

And so good people of the jury, I ask that you reflect
Upon the life of this dear child, so amazing and perfect

For my client has committed no crime, no evil deed or word
Is blameless and so innocent, and would not have caused this hurt

I ask therefore for mercy true, that her life be now redeemed
That she might live, and love and learn, and so pursue her dreams
Paper Heart Poet Apr 2020
War
War in the womb
Your death or mine 
****** if not kept 
Suicide if it is 
Either way
Agony
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