You're lucky I have the time of day
I'm just lucky you bused my way
Because of you I'm a better me
And one day I'll love again, I hope you get to see
You're the best friend anyone wouldn't have the ***** to ask for
No one has the patience to see past your flaws
You're perfectly imperfect in every way
But I'll keep you here, I'd be ******* stupid to throw you away

Don't look at me when I know you can't stand me
Don't act like you care, I'm vulnerable as you can see
Don't touch my cuts they aren't for you to caress
Don't tell me to sleep you know I won't rest
Don't lead me on when I know you won't show
Don't tell me you love me, don't ever let me know
I'm too far gone to be considered in my head
Just leave me to rot in self pity, I'm as good as dead

I never thought someone could love me
I'm moody and giggly and clinically depressed
I have hair all over me and very lumpy *******
My ribs jutt out and my shoulders are too wide
I have bony hips with chubby thunder thighs
I panic too often I ******* **** at breathing
I cry too much and I'm ridiculously needy
But here you are my knight in fleshy armor
Equally as flawed but my perfect little charmer
You love me and kiss my feet
I love you too and that's pretty neat x

I'm at a point in my life where I am to wake up
This has happened once before
This metamorphosis from depression to desperation
to acceptance and knowing
It hurts
It seems soul destroying
But in all actuality it is soul enlightenment

Expand your mind when you enter a room
What do you see?
The 12 year old girl in the corner on her phone
Sexting three guys and a girl she's not alone
The guy on the dance floor won't take someone home
He's literally just there for a good time
The guys and girls getting high because they feel so low
The girl in that short skirt isn't a ***
The guy who can't hold his alcohol is too young to be there
The dog eating his ***** is too hungry to care
You try to fit in but really you won't
Because nobody is as they seem and no one will ever know

You could convince me to **** myself
You don't care because it'll silence the voices
You can bring me to tears at pulse of a heartbeat
Like right now
You will force me to smile in the most grim situations
You tell me it's all gonna be okay
Then go and say I am a horrible creature
You are my best friend and my worst enemy
I hate you almost as much as I need you
You do this to yourself
You do this to me
You are my own brain
The conductor of emotions and controller of my every move

It takes my breath away to see you so happy

I wish you didn't have to hurt like you do

They give up too easily.
                                                         ­             Far too soon indeed you're right

Foolish mortals they never want what they have

                                                           ­             Always what someone else has

Wants
                                                    ­                                                    Desires

S­illy infatuations

                                                  ­   The whole bang lot of them are mortally
                                                        ­                      ****** aren't they?

Quite right, there is no consistency

                                                    ­               Why can't they always be in love?

Why can't they always maintain satisfaction?

                                                  ­                                   Why can't they always-

**** it, always is never

                                              **And forever is a lie

Our tongues are our shovels
As we dig our graves
Kiss by kiss we fall in
De
     ep
         er
Into our mess we have made

I had to get it off my chest
The aching need tearing away
At my heart
The very thought of keeping it from you
Could cause my fickle heart
To explode
I'm not falling
I'm sinking
Into your skin
Deeper
               and
                        deeper
Until I can drown in you
So I gasp
For the air
To say it
I love you

Husk life, transient
Drifting from bed to bed, couch to mattress to rolled out sleeping bag
They had everything going for them
Their futures glowing with possibilities
Their hearts recycled for a place to belong
Until it happened
Anxiety to depression, depression to bipolar disorder to a fixed self doubt
The only thing permanent in their lives;
The constant consistency of tar in their lungs
And shivers down their spines
Wandering drifting adapting struggling to survive

If you were my little girl
I'd show you how to be loved so good
He doesn't treat you right
He won't ever love you like I could.
I know you're young little girl
Only 16 years old
With the scars on your wrist and deeper wounds on your soul.
He made you grow up too fast, ****** up your past
Left just as soon as you needed him
But now you're mine little girl
Take my hand let me into your world
I'll fill your void of daddy issues

I had a dream that allowed me to see the other side
I walked through what I expected to be a bright light
But was in fact a tunnel.
It took what seemed like all night to get to the end
The air was damp and smelt like death
It wasn't a friendly tunnel.
At the end I expected to find those I have loved and lost
Everything was blurry and I couldn't breathe
I made it to the end of the tunnel...
There was you
And you had no eyes and your wrists were slashed
You reached for me but the air took me aback
I awoke from that forsaken dream

My wrists were slashed
And I couldn't see

Everybody needs a new start
Time to do over what has already been done
With a new perspective and time to pull apart
All the things *people have said and sung
Make new *priorities and change the wrong
So we may feel as though we have won
And find time
And the right prescription
To insure we may no longer come undone
To pick it all up and start again
And finally
Become  **someone

We all have a story
Your friend who died last night
Has published his
The least you can do is read
And acknowledge it
The authors achievements
The boy who got dumped
Feels a pain
Just as great
As you did when your father
Beat you half to death
We all have different thresholds
So never tell someone
They don't understand
Because in some way they do
The scars are all the same
On the inside

He's a man he's a home
He's the body that I know
I'm haunted by a dream of a life I can't conceive
In the closet I am warm with the love I can receive
While I lay half awake in bed with a girl in my dreams
There's a wolf there's a wolf
Howling at me there's a wolf
He finds his way into my closet as he scratches at the wood
He's a man he's a past
Tapping on the glass
But I won't let him in for that will do us no good

I don't know why I'm not ok
I don't know how you can help
I don't want to break up with you
Or leave you on the shelf
I love you still so much it's true
But I can't feel it anymore
Yet I cannot help but lose myself
Every time you close the door
I feel I'm better off alone
(Says the co-dependant one)
You'll be ok I promise you but
It's easier said than done
I don't know how to explain myself
I don't know what to do
I can't help it I'm so ******* sorry
For falling out of love with you

He's restless. With bile in his throat
And adrenalin in his veins
He's living long before he realizes
A fist a flask a bit o this and that
An addiction
A love
A girl....
She's clever. A mindful eye behind her brain
A heart she thought would never beat again
A smoke a kiss a **** and a talent
Her addictions
Her love
Him....
They collide like the moon and the sea
Never completely
But enough
To move one another with grace unseen.
He has a poem she has a song
A word a whisper a lyric and a pun
They make each other,
The worlds most tragic
And divine
Lovers of the night
And sun

I don't sleep unless I'm beside you
I forget to eat unless you're eating too
I get shaky and nervous and empty and sad
And I don't like how I look when you're not looking at me.

They won't understand us my dear
We are far too complex for even our own comprehension
They can't conquer us though we may feel conquered
They can't hinder us though we may feel hindered
They can't torment us, tear us down or toss us aside like yesterdays news
We are a fit of passion like the closest embrace
We are an army of one united by our hearts that rarely beat and occasionally
Beat too hard and fast
We won't stop in the name of all that is ungodly
We are too good for this world
They know it
You know it
I am starting to believe it
We are poets, writers, artists, lovers
The world is our oyster and we are allergic to shellfish
It's not that we are misfits
It's that this day and age is still too baggy on our bodies
And I pray to a God I don't believe in that we will never grow into those rags
Because we aren't pearls
Or one of a billion
We are beautiful creatures
They are waiting for the day we bite the pills and overdose on bullets
But you won't let them have that bitter satisfaction
And I shouldn't either
We are the beings ardent for what we can take in quantities from this life
So we may write about them
And tell everyone our story
And watch them melt
To our stolen golden lies