So I wrote to myself.
It's not that I didn't have anyone else to write or vice versa.
What conveys is a generosity of deep truth found with over 1,000 jokes printed on the cover.
Truth be told it's actually more than that.
I am not exactly what you would call a handsome man, but you'd be surprised how much you cross someones mind when they are in need.
So I wrote to myself.
An embodiment that grew legs of it's own.
Kind of like missing out on something that's been in front of you the whole time.
The irony of free will.
A change of scenery, a fresh coat of paint.
It's like nothing ever happened.
I guess that's the inside joke of another day

She is the poem I never wrote,
but always wanted to write.
The poem I’d sit down with,
every intention of writing,
but could not come up with
the right words.
Sweet, but fierce.
Discarding perfection,
only asking for presence.
A flower that learned to survive
in a drought.

She is a poem that takes
the pieces of herself and
arranges them in love.
Not the loving pieces easily
found in the light
that’s too easy.
But the pieces that accidentally
wandered in the dark and got lost.
The pieces of herself she forgot
were there.
She takes her time,
finding these pieces and putting them
back where they belong.

When she speaks,
her tongue is like a hammer,
hammering every nail that needs
to be put into place.
Even if she misses and, instead,
hits her hand,
she doesn’t tear everything down
regardless of how much it may benefit her.
She repositions herself
and starts again.

She is the poem I never wrote,
but always wanted to write.
As hard as it is to start again,
she’s never afraid to start again

I am unable to sleep, she holds me
In the palm of her hands.
No matter what, she greets me
Through the day.
Her face my sun, the moon,
The stars & everything in between.
If I go to sleep, she wakes me right up.
Whether verbal or the slightest notion,
She knows when I am awake.
Confirming the beat of my heart.
Whether she’s close or far away,
She still appears a giant in my eyes.
& I snug in her hands.
She pops in & out of my head,
Leaving nothing but her smile.
Wherever I look she’s always there
She’s become my peace, the very dream
I continue to wake & go back to sleep to.
The breath I take that brings clarity
To everything.
My eyes no longer feel like “X’s”
& I barely feel the stitches.
She gives me the things she thinks
I require & that’s the closest
To love I’ve been.
For someone to take time out of their day.
To gain an understanding of someone else,
Although much taller than I.
She makes me feel bigger than what I really am.
For some that might be trivial.
But for me,
It’s all I ever wanted to know

No matter how many times
We are shuffled.
No matter how many times
We are split apart.
I'll always find you.
My Queen, my diamond in the rough. 
My heart forever upright in your hand.
Lost in all the minutes, the seconds.
All the numbered cards and look a likes
That re-symbol you, re-symbol I.
Shuffled in search of love
Shuffled in search to belong
My head nestled warm against yours.
Split between us two
Face flat against your heart.
Lost in the minutes, the seconds
All the numbered cards and look a likes
That could never surmount the stakes of losing you.
No matter the bluff

When I first saw her I wondered the reason for her stare.
Nothing out of the ordinary but after a while you know, self conscious thoughts kick in.
Is there something on my shirt, does she notice how big my head really is.
Do I have a ****** that popped out to say hi.
Standing at the front door of hello and what the hell,
At this point I don't know if I waved to ease my comfort or hers.
My first impression was that she was tore down, the after effect of an avid pill popper, far too gone to realize how tore up she was. Xannies, Bars, Rolls
coming down from a pharmaceutical high
Kind of slumped over, standing there.
Lips quivering a muffled sound.
An impediment of sorts collecting her words as they spilled on the ground.
I walked over asking if everything was alright, I mean after all I couldn't just leave her there fumbling about.
Then out of nowhere I heard everything I couldn't hear before
Every word lunging at me making it perfectly clear that she wasn't living in her head nor was she just standing there integrating herself, eyes rolled to the back of her head.
In retrospect, I should have paid more attention to the lack of arm she was missing.
**** zombie

I suppose the best part of it all
Was that I fell out of my shoes.
Where most would be embarrassed.
In a strange twist I felt a calm peace.
I had nothing to hide,
Outside of the fact that I was falling.
Fall fast I did.
The most beautiful of facts, pleasing to the ear drum of desire.
The harmony of her kicking my chair.
Me falling flat against the ground.
A beautiful sound echoes about in memory.
A short in-flight movie of me falling back into one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen.
House shoes flying through the air.
I assume that I wasted too much time.
So she took matters into her own hand.
Well foot at least.
My inspiration

And when I see you
My heart skips a beat,
Walking out into the middle of the street
Without regard to the cars
darting through the intersection.
Some raising their fingers,
Others intentionally driving faster.

Remembering a time,
Remembering a place that
you were everything I needed.
Everything I could have wanted.

And when I see you
My heart so badly wants to
relive those moments.
Stepping one foot in front of the other.
Dodging near miss
After near miss.
Knowing that deep down
I'll end up getting hit
For not letting go

It's hard.
This feeling that easily becomes cozy.
The possibility of being shown something new.
The introduction of new words, new emotions.
Soon to discover fear of loss.
This possibility that brings to life an life altering halt
Before anything major has happened.
A social construct that thrives on reciprocation.
Slouched across the couch.
Found in sudden hesitation.
Wanting to move, but not wanting to lose that comfortable feeling.
The thought of having to find that spot all over again.
It's accumulation of warmth.
Everything that went into finding the good news
Then realizing that you have no one to tell it too.
Or even worse.
Realizing that the remote is on the other side of the room.

In her heart just beneath her skin lays a tin pitcher.
The spout along with it's sides covered with frost from the coldest of water.
Parched lips long for a drink.
But without cup or glass.

I implore that I have swallowed fear of the utmost; Diving in head first.

A slow sip that eases the insecurity of rejection.

Another sip that interjects that you could be everything that I need.

One more to ensure that  I would gladly drown to be loved by you

I moved right into the apartment of your heart.
Making myself comfortable awaiting your embrace.
Helping you find a new hair style you can slay.
Black love, sweat pants.
Ponytails. Hot wings. A movie that supports how good we go together.
The revolution my heart makes.
You orbiting the center of my arms.
That conscious love that reveals how important you are to me.
Giving you the last slice of everything that is me.
Your eyes, your smile.
The holy trinity

Happiness consists of effort.
It doesn't have to be perfect to be a token of appreciation.
Steadily available to be itself.
No matter how weird or silly things can get.
During these times we are tested with the vanity of our self.
Finding it much easier to walk away from a simple misconception.
It is important not to get caught up in the reflection we see.
For then we become unappreciative of the blessings around us.
Not recognizing ourself in the same image we perceive as happiness.
With a single view that things are only as bad as we allow.
Not realizing the depth of which when and how we fall.
Confusing the physical with a mental permission that effort alone is not enough.
In a combined effort of feeling whole.
The perception of how we see the ones we love becomes their world as well as our world entirely
And their expression alone is priceless

I disciplined myself in her.
Humbling myself in her mold.
First my body then my soul.
Painting myself with her skin.
She scribbled her name across me.
Using her finger as a pencil, gently scribbling.
I don't want to sound crazy. But I thought she was suppose to be
the object of my affection not the other way around.
I love how she does that

The last time I dreamed about you
I planted the dream in soil.
When I fell asleep and woke up.
I believed you to have grown,
Like any other flower.
Even if you turned out
to be a rose,
I didn’t mind the ***** of a thorn.
When I wiped my eyes
There was a cactus in the soil.
There are good dreams
And there are bad dreams.
Most bad dreams start off good.
Then become prickly and cold.
I didn’t care.
I lugged you around with me
everywhere.
Pulling out the spines
that stuck me.
No matter where we went
I considered them kisses
From you to me,
And me, I considered my dream
A reality.
Then you got larger.
Then you got heavier.
That happy lug turned to a hard pull.
And those cute little ******
Turned into being stabbed.
there’s a reason why most cactus’
Are found in the desert.
And why some dreams
Are just like a cactus

I hunger for your hands
Substituting what happens between them in living memory.
The intimacy of being that close.
Simplifying fragility.
It's natural that they'd become curious. Roaming about until they themselves feel comfortable.
That feeling in the center of your chest that makes you feel that you can do anything.
In A place of this size.
I long to be lost in the grasp of somewhere comfortable.
To wake up and see you exposed in a calm hush
Falling back asleep in complete comfort

Yesterday I found a seed and theres no better place to plant it
Than in your heart.
I acknowledge that you've heard promise after promise.
And as time steadfast, these empty promises have become the reason it never rains.
The soil around your heart has turned cold and has become hard.
With more doubt comes unease.
And with more unease comes a reason to lash out and suffocate all the beauty
that surrounds within.
This at all is not the case.
For the neglect of a beautiful flower should never be in vain.
For the true crime committed is those who walk by afraid to be who they really are.
Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
You my beautiful queen are more elegant.
More beautiful than you can imagine.
For the thorns that grow along your stem are only a means to protect.
Not to be taken as a defect that takes away from how special you truly are.
A neglected rose can only continue to wither without everything needed to grow.
But until you can look and see the beauty within, everything around you will continue to be dark.
All I ask, is for you not to believe everything you see.
That in time, among the crowd.
Someone will stop and admire all the beauty you possess.
But until you yourself can see all the beauty you have.
You will continue to live in self doubt and suffocate everything around you.
Let yourself grow

I hated knowing the fact that she was absent.
Missing the feel of her caress.
The arms that slipped over mine as comfortable as a jacket.

It was therapeutic in a sense.
The warmth that accompanied a simple smile spread across my face.
Knowing that she was there.
It wasn't as easy as going to the store.
Constantly trying on jackets looking for the right fit,
Paying no never mind to the tags that read different sizes.

The 2x's. 1x's. Sometimes disused as the wrong size.
No matter the store, there would never be another her.
I hated imagining the chime that would sing from under the mat when one foot hit the right spot walking into the store.
The awkward look passed from one customer to the other, the hassle of standing in line.
No, this was far from comfortable.
The ease of having what you need unexpectedly given to you, all of a sudden taken away.
The seams of her arms tailored around mine.
Snug against my back, her head as the collar laid against my neck, my chest.

What I needed was her, without her nothing felt right

I found a rainbow
In the middle of the night.
Stripes of color that look like it burst through the sky.
It cut through the clouds and took over the buildings.
There’s something different about the night.
At times, everything can seem dead.
But it has its pieces of heaven.
Indigo, blue, red, yellow, and purple.
All dressed bright, Standing on the corner,
Like everyone else that wasn’t asleep.
I suppose that it needed a place to hang out too.

The bend wasn’t as curved as the one you’ll see
Through the day.
It was relaxed and positioned in the sky,
in the way I supposed you would press your back
against the wall.
Then, just like that, It was gone.
Like a pretty woman with somewhere to go

I am the ring around your finger
No matter how much time will pass.
I will always remain.
A vow of trust that cements verbal thought.
A dream come true left imprinted on your finger.
To share truth.
The thoughts we both speak into existence.
I am the ring that reinforces the core from which you and I grow.
The diamond that forms through the pressure of dark times.
I am the band that continuously loops around your finger.
The promise of everlasting.
Through the good, through the bad.
The strength that nourishes us when we are weak.
The different parts of us we continue to meet.
This ring a symbol of how far we've come.
How far we've yet to go

In my mind we were but two halves.
Seeking nothing but the comfort of each other.
Without need for clothes we wore each other In the tightest embrace.
The simplest of things shared between us two.
No matter how much we tossed backward and forward
we remained together.
Discerned in ultimate truth, we sat still while everything else became
turbulent.
Tilting us backward and forward not once did any of us falter.
In my mind I loved her just as much as I loved myself.
Why shouldn't we be considered a whole.
Engulfing myself in her embrace as we sat.
Wrapping my arms around her jagged edges, protecting her just as she protected me.
Legs laid across my lap.
In the morning I'd kiss her forehead and welcome her further into my arms.
Grabbing her, pulling her tighter until you couldn't tell which one of us was which.

And I thought for a moment.
With all the anxiety that goes on in the world.
Lay with me for a moment so that we'll both know all that ills.
The insecurities we dress ourselves with that reveal only what we want to show.
Soon remembered when were all alone.
For what you truly define as a moment without rush.
Fill a void that isn't easily removed without first knowing a strangers name.
That ensues unanswered phones and a loss track of time.
The beginning of fear, the turmoil of new habit.
Step into the unknown.
Meaning total comfort in your own skin without a means of being judged.
A spontaneous eruption of minutes that burst into hours, oozed into the rhyme of songs played on repeat
Until we forget entirely what it was that we were planning on doing next.
And I thought for a moment.
This is complete and utterly insane.
Moving from the bed to the floor.
Finding what's been on the edge of our fingertips this whole time

I watched you walk away,
Like I was an outsider,
Like I wasn't the one who loved you.
Not once did you look back—
Both of us proud,
Not wanting to break
And speak the words
That would turn everything around.

One stop, one wait,
One foot in front of the other,
Would ease the heaviness
Of watching you walk away.
But here I am,
Stuck, standing still,
The world seamlessly
Going on around me.

Part of me is stuck in the shadow,
Everything moving
From one axis to the next.
Another part of me realizes
That when the earth changes axis
And rotates the other way,
No one really feels it.

And here I am,
Stuck either way.
In time, even dust
Has to move

The next time we meet, I may be someone else.
 
Extra thick, light in weight.
Resourced to fit purpose.
 
The next time we meet,
I may be a splint. Easy to light.
The next time we meet.
Would silence truly do us justice.
Learning to cope before given reason.
 
Rounded off at the top, rough patterns felt between us both.
A spark that ignites the scrape of when I fell for you.
 
We stood there because we knew how we felt, we never truly understood.
Collecting ourselves in abrupt fire. Only a fool would stand to wither completely.
 
What else did we truly know but to extinguish ourselves in the same abrupt manner.
Breathing in each others essence. Stained in soot.
 
We lived in sulfur, sliming down in the same instance.
 Lighting myself before becoming contagious.
I thought this way because it was all I'd ever know

When it came to her
I had a slender grasp
Though unintentional.
When I think about it.
Deep down it was I rearing
a lack of confidence.
Living up our anonymous
expectation.
Though she was around
My arms would always cross up.
I was righteously liberated.
The perfect punctuation
of how I'd run on mentally,
Constantly around & around.
I wasn't embarrassed.
Revealing which part of her made me tick.
I can tell she didn't expect my answer
But with such a slender grasp,
every second spent with her made me tick.
At least for a little while
Perhaps the most un-thought thought.
Where do we place the batteries when they run out
Or will my arms be crossed up forever
Constantly around & around.
I find that time- such a strange & unusual thing.
Brings focus to things outside of all the crazy
ways arms move.
All in a beautiful destructiveness I can't describe.

You are the land which soaks
The crumbs I've longed to eat.
My mouth can only open so wide,
Though nothing truly keeps us apart.
To know you means to die
And I've known you for years.
Where the water stops
We'll always be.
I've tasted your moistened crumbs
& here is where we'll always be.
Whose to say that you cannot
Swim where I've learned to walk
Whose to say that I cannot
Walk where you've learned to swim
Soon I'll be part of the crumbs
I've watched you eat
Soon, where the water stops
We'll always be

I've lived in your heart for three years.
My payments were always before time.
If I made too much noise I assure you I didn't know.
My foot steps are often loud, the neighbor beside me keeps his music up.
I never filed a complaint.
Accepting things as they are.
Outside of that nothing seemed to be wrong.
The conditions weren't bad at first.
Everything worked.
The sink clogged a bit.The locks need to be replaced.
The things of which I done myself.
I felt home here in my one bedroom.
Not too much company so no need for much furniture.
There were nights I couldn't feed myself,
making sure your demands were met.
Differences between needs and wants.
Still I received note after note about noise among other things.
Things accused of though disputed.
You smiled in my face and told me all was forgiven.
To receive a note of eviction.
The neighbors music still loud.
My landlord unable to be found.
Someone new moving into my place

I've dreamed of you
Eyes dressed in desire.
Above your head a halo.
Metallic and bronze.
Uniquely dressed.
A pair of wings from your back.
When I dream of you,
I dream standing up.
The sun envious of the warmth your cheek provides
The side of my face against yours.
Together we sore.
We sore through this vision where I have no fear of falling.
Knowing that if I should fall
You'd catch me before I hit the ground.
Your voice soft
Comforting me through the heights we ascend.
Our hands but a kiss away from heaven.
I've dreamed of you
Eyes dressed in desire.
With wings in mid flight
Our hands in one another.
You lift my spirits with the simplest of smiles.
Followed by the blessing of your presence

It's relatively a slow process.
A thought builds upon anticipation.
Thanks to the nostalgia ingrained by Disney.
Musically the songs are different.
Granted the press of a thumb.
Spotify, Pandora.
An assortment of different streams all profoundly deep.
Separately, the adaptation is the same.
Boy meets girl.
Eyes go on vacation.
Suddenly we're dressed in leisure.
Beautiful sights ingested by the brochures of a hotel lobby.
Just yesterday none of this seemed possible.
Everything crowed into the bends of a folded booklet.
Lost in the sensation of influential taste.
This was my outlook.
A yesterday morning spent in the hotel lobby of my own interest.
I am in sense booking my own fear.
This slow process that begins it's advance.
A millennium that begins a couple seconds past twelve.
She was the art visually spread across the brochure.
With arms wide open I fell in.
Speeding up this process ever slightly.
I still a consumer at best.
Her being the best vacation I ever been.
I am in sense booking my own fear.
Her love.
Further more exploring the secret of her parenthesis

I dwelt in thought.
Reminiscing on the way that she made me feel.
Gradually I moved into her.
Packing light, reassuring that I'd bring the biggest piece of me.
She welcomed me with open arms. Extending a hand, she made room just below her heart.
I left my bag a few inches from her feet. Not wanting to overload her with excess.
She insisted, grabbing my bag with ease.
This was better than any trip I'd ever taken.
Falling in love at first sight. Staring out of the window in my room.
I kissed her once to ensure that what I felt wasn't a dream.
I kissed her again for ever doubting.
My whole inside blushed red.
I hesitated often, not wanting to become a burden in a place that felt like home.
In regards to table manner, we took our plates from one room to the next.
Emptying ourselves on empty plates.
The flutter of racing hearts, the comfort of vibrant linen.
Warm colors layered across one another.
Totally aware that I could be myself. Sleep was nowhere to be found.
Spending the rest of our time up, she gave me a key to ensure that I'd always have a place in her heart.
I gave it back, reassuring that I'd never leave

A hermit crab
In love with his bongo.
Scuffles on with his bongo beat.
Each thump filling the empty space
Around him.
He walks the hot concrete.
In search of something like home.
His shell dragging behind
Weighing him down.
The thump no longer loud enough
To move its tiny body.
The rhythm barely rattling around its
shell.
After a while everything can turn into a drag.
But still, he scuffles on.
He smiles, stopping to take a break
On the grass.
The concrete burning his feet.
His tiny claws scraping across the bongo.
He looks over to his left.
To find an old boot.
Nodding her head, tapping the ground
Following along to the beat.
Although weathered, she too smiled.
Echoing back his loud thuds.
Her sole cracked but full of life.
Life happens in the strangest way sometimes.
Two outcasts alone.
Drumming up stories without a word.
Scuffling on a bongo heart.
Life doesn't have to be a drag all the time.

I’ve waited so long to talk to you.
I’ve messaged you and have waited
to hear back from you.
I am still waiting.
At this point, time isn’t a factor.
Even if I never hear anything,
I still will wait.

The closest I get to you now
is an algorithm.
Social media suggests you
as a new friend.
As much as I would love that—
to start over and pretend,
as painful as it sounds,
to love you in restriction,
trapped by some border,
like we’re strangers.

I stare at your picture and never
swipe the notification away.
In a way, it feels like old times.
The only thing missing is your voice.
You’re with me when I go to work,
you’re with me when I am in the car.
But nothing lasts forever.
By the time I wake up,
the notification is gone,
the screen is empty,
and you’re gone.

But your eyes—
the way that you smile—
have not left my memory.

I suppose I should be satisfied
with what I have now.
I’ve tried,
but I am not

Though my appetite is full
I still hunger, though not in the hopes of not becoming
a gluten,
Though your time is all I could ask.
I still find myself selfish, learning to preserve this taste.
For your attention.
A meaningful conversation that reveals all, spoken or non spoken.
Not at all stating that I would find my fill else where.
This craving that exists even while your near.
Often times I find restraint in thought, allowing you to be yourself
not cluttered every moment of the day.
More so it's the emphases I express in times of deep need.
This hunger that wallows within longing to be fed.
I am capable of this manifestation of thought.
But without you, I am simply lost in hunger.
Hoping you'd empathize

Most people avoid her because of her heart.
One minute she is caring, the next she is overbearing.
The next she pours her heart the next she takes it all back and remains silent.
Too many mood swings, too many off brand medicines.
This was the reason that most people would avoid her.
Catching an aliment of her own,
The amount of hurt that she keep to herself without knowing how to release.
Finding various labels to print on her forehead.
Printing sticker on-top of sticker.
Marking her down for quick sale.
Some stickers faded. Others stuck from a different sales reel.
Manifests long forgot about.
Pushed back farther and further back on the shelf.
Negligence from those whom always marked that she was there without actually pulling her forward.
To ensure that she was alright, to knock the dust from her bottle.
To encourage her to move her to the front of the shelf.
She preferred to be alone for this same reason.
Most notably hid in the dark far from the edge of the shelf.
Out of sight out of mind, Content in her own little word.
Where no-one could poke or pry, to make her feel uncomfortable about being herself.
Her lid air tight when in reality all she wanted was to give herself.
Finding a fear of searching hands whom picked over and put others before her.
She'd sit at the back of the shelf where she was perfectly content until the day she could give all of herself.
Not realizing that she pushed those away that truly cared about her in the process.
The only prescription that could heal the sick and remove the ache of weary bones.
A weary heart, more than a handful of reckless thoughts.
She was a beautiful soul in a pharmacy full of sick physicians

When asked, I replied I have a secret if your dying to know.
With enough anticipation I tore nail from wood.
A secret not so much, housed comfortably in a place that no one goes.
Some of the wood dry-rotted, nails now rust.
It still took some prying.
Uncovering a unhinged door in perfect dark.
Nails and wood covering the ground.
When asked what was in there I replied my heart.
Her eyes immediately searched the dark.
Still nothing could be found.
When asked again, I told her that if she looked in the mirror she'd see a clear reflection of it

I love you because my heart is lighter walking by you.
I love you because no matter the world I could never see you outside the light I see you now.
Not because of the times things seemed good to be true.
Or the *** or the willingness to drop everything and come to me.
I love you because of the effort.
Not because it feels like something your supposed to say.
The times we strayed in complete darkness.
I love you because you could have walked away a million times.
And I know I've pushed you there a  considerable number of times.
I love you a million times more for each millionth time I thought you were gone.
I love you because you bring out the best in me.
You show me the world in a honest way.
Sometimes I may not understand it.
Question after question, my heart telling me to stop second guessing.
This walk becoming longer and longer.
I love you for encouraging me to be better.
I love you because you handle every situation in the weirdest way possible.
In the deepest part of my heart.
I believe you already know that.
Free to walk, free to think.
All without paying attention to where we're walking.
I love walking beside you

Sometimes something as simple as a look can hurt us.
It's so easy to get caught up in a moment of temporary happiness.
The truth seems so far from the place we'd rather be.
Eventually we become blinded by that
Which we know will eventually hurt us.
When in reality, what we truly want
Is for someone to hold our hand &
Tell us that everything will be alright.
It breaks our heart and tears us apart,
Something so simple as a look.
We allow ourselves to hear and see what we want,
But when that split second is gone
& there is no one else around to help
Us from finally glancing in that direction.
Something so simple as a look hurts us
More than we could ever imagine.
We never realize that we deserve more
Than we allow ourselves to have until we have no choice to let go and accept
What we can no longer see

And there I was.
Another American lost on the road.
The traffic slowed to the bare minimum.
Slim to none at the barricade of an orange and black detour sign.
Upon turning I lost signal to my phone.
The social climb of bars dropping to a small X.
It's crazy how something so convenient could be detoured so easily.
The distractions that occur along the way.
A straight path with a few twists and turns.
Without the beam of flashing lights and signs.
I wouldn't have found a new way home.
Unless I knew someone that stayed down this street I would never have turned.
A more scenic, peace devoted route without the distractions of answering the phone or adjusting the radio.
The temporary fix of building home else where, in someone elses arms.
The corridor of ears.
Relying on the siding of someone's voice to house what is thought to roof all of me.
Switching lanes, finding the right material

In the topic of magazines.
I sat on the cover, close to the reflection of her eyes.
Relaxed in the greeting of open arms.

She paused, sitting upright. 
The gap between us now closer.
Allowing the invitation of smiles.
Our upright becoming a corner staple in the edge of anticipation.

We both sat.

Allowing ourselves to do what came natural.
My reflection seen clear in the middle of her eyes.
Her personality pasted all around me.

No currency was exchanged in the beauty of two souls flipping to page 42.
Reading the full article.
Taking our time not to wrinkle the pages.
Moving from the cover to emotional commitment.
The exchange of excitement
Where she was free to be herself just as I.

Ideally, I reread every paragraph.
Falling in love with everything represented to be pharmaceutical to deep need.
Constantly reading then rereading the same passages over and over.
Hiding myself behind the cover.
Wanting to know more

Without the flap of tiny wings or heart shaped arrows.
I wish you a feeling of perpetual bliss.
A emotion without a single shed of clothing.
Revealing to you every scar, each flaw that exists outside the thought of you.
Trusting that you won't take for granted the tenderness of giving
something so rare. In exchange for a listening ear.
Each jitter that hides in anticipation, hoping that you'll come with understanding.
Leaving behind the need to run when you see that I am none of the superficial things that bring most fantasies together.
The lavish things that surround a fountain of thought. Two bodies that flow into each other creating something more powerful than thought alone could imagine.
A sudden feeling that flows out through the mouth and flourishes into something powerful.
This might that flows in current is what urges my heart to throb harder with your every thought. An ocean of everlasting depth.
Telling you how I feel in accordance to my hearts wishes.
Holding your hand in this urge, hoping you feel it's current.
Without fear of drowning, over-thinking what your reaction could possibly be.
The slightest splash of excitement covering the parts of us we didn't know were there.
Breaking a piece of myself off in each splash.
Eroding in thought.
The small pebbles and seashells that scatter about the coast.
Sinking in layer after layer of current.
Creating the cheek that swallows your dimple whole.
Leaving the whole experience as indescribable.
A frequent flood of ever rising bliss.
Melting away in this constant current of you.
Constantly flowing

And just like Summer.
Your love warm and hot- like steam.
Coffee best serves two

Good gawd O' lawd
I can't hide it.

Suppose to be doing other things.
Here she go again
Showing her face.

She packed her bags.
Left before the door could close.
Left fa' anotha man.

Lawd A mercy
Here she is again.
Showing her face.

I can't hide it lawd.
Catching the door fo' it close.
Suppose to be doing other things.

Find these old receipts.
Piece my heart here and there.
Good lawd I hid it from ma' self

She claimin' she leavin'
Come back wondering round
Showing her face.
Lawd A mercy

Left before the door could close
Left fa' anotha man
Lawd A mercy
Here she go again

Here I go again
Catching the door fo' it close.

If there is one anything that I could ask you to promise it is this.
Promise me that you will never stop looking.
Explore what ever fascination that excites you most.
Search deep within yourself and explore your hearts imagination.
There is no right thing that makes it wrong or come crashing down.
All the possibilities are endless
Your happiness, your dreams.
I guarantee on your way that you will find a bunch of things that will make your body melt in anticipation.
That out of the blue feeling that makes your heart race for no reason.
That is love, that is life.
That is the vein that stems from all that thrives from your hearts imagination

Sometimes you don't need much
Sometimes it can feel like the beginning
Of a new life.
The start of a new moment
Legs wrapped around each other
Beneath off white sheets.
When the world makes it feel like
You haven't accomplished much.
Sometimes the smallest thing
Feels like a dream come true.
When she stretches her arm across
Me.
I start to remember all things
Precious.
My weighed blanket warm & at rest.
Her chest raising and falling against my arm.
Of all the rooms in the world, there's
only one that truly exists.
And it exists when I kiss her forehead when she's sleep.
Her arms wrapped around me
Tight & snug
Sometimes it's moments like this
When one person can make you
Remember how important the small
Things are.
The difference one room can make

In the depth of her eye there is a city that begs to be explored.
A spark of curiosity hidden beneath the patter of millions of feet.

The journey of how one step, leads into a million thoughts.
Each person a developing personality all of her own.
Time has no meaning here.
There is no swiftness, no haste where anyone has a deadline to meet.
A specific place to be.

The pounding of feet hitting the pavement.

The sound of her heart.

With lips soft and gentle.

It goes unseen.

This city that hides in the spark of her eye.

This gleam of  light flickering in the skyline.

The view is just amazing.

There is never a wrong time to come out and enjoy the view.

The people here are amazing.

They always welcome me with a warm smile and a place to sit.

A metropolis full of fashion, living and breathing.

What I love most.

Is that I always feel like I am at home.

Whenever I stop by for a visit

The feel of brown skin swirled around the cup of hands.

With lips soft and full.
I too melt in a passionate place.
With taste of something warm and comforting.
It's hard to rearrange something as divine as touch.
The groove of lips stir such emotion in body and mind.
Setting it priority, forgetting to stand in a moment of euphoric proportion.
An eclipse follows in steady motion.
Without use of sugar or cream.
I stood in a flood of on going cries.
Stained by the rise of steam bold enough to claim where we've stood.
Stained in our essence, her essence.
The depth of her eyes.
A constant motion of sights sitting still.
It's unfortunate, the people whom stand in line.
Their misuse of foam cups, soy blend extracts.
Love shouldn't be diluted with sweetness readily made available.
But instead in consistency.

Rising like steam

And when she cut the radio on
Everything became so clear
I never heard the words to my favorite song; I listened intently.
Not only capturing the words
But this very moment.
Every expression
The amount of thought put into this exchanged gesture.
What was this
It wasn't rock, it wasn't pop
It's wasn't the mellow tone of rhythm and blues
What was this
This explosion that occurred with the next look of her eyes
Like psychedelic euphoria
Oozing from our lips
Erratic heart throbs pulsating through the air waves
Connecting us,
No matter how far we were

I love the way she calls.

She uses all the elements of the stars,

The universe itself.

Her voice floats, gently calming my nerves.

If I could be anywhere, I'd be anywhere by her side.

Where everything except her voice is silent.

She calls from beyond the reach of telephone lines and stringy wires.

If she were to ever whisper, I'd always hear her beckoned call.

Often times it feels that I am on angel wings.

Each time that she calls.

A leaf blew downtown
Amongst hands pages flew
Floating about a clean breeze

Although ugly,
Something beautiful happens.
The air suddenly gets thick.
Your hand ***** up and flies
up to your mouth.
Lungs ache, just as we do.
They cling to breath as if
It's the last thing they have.
I cough, and my whole body heaves.
Just like you when I am behind you
My eyes tighten, and after a moment,
It's over.

A wet kiss turned inside out,
Bottled up and forced out.
An act of surrender,
Forced out in urgency.
A noise that signals sickness,
But at the same time
Searches for a fresh breath.
At times, a cough can be sickening,
Sometimes nasty.
But when everything rattles loose,
And that ache is gone.
Sometimes,
That's the best kind of love

Almost every day.
Hold your hand close to me.
Post me against the wall and stick pins on all four corners.
Explain whats happening in vivid emotion.
If I've ****** you off black out my eyes.
If you've stored me in your heart cover the space behind me blood red.
There is no need to question the value of if what you feel is real.
Slide my face across bright light in means to cover my face in fashion.
In a variety of back drops and shade.
Smear my face in distorted emotion.
A synthetic hue vibrant and wild.
Color my hair yellow then blue.
Do as you wish.
But by all means don't leave my picture the way it is

By the way.
I'm not doing anything later.
If you don't have any plans, why don't you throw on some sweats.
Your favorite ponytail and we'll find something on TV.
A little Netflix and chill.
A little takeout and random channel flipping.
A stimulating conversation about old times. Inspiration.
Our dreams. What we hope to be.
I'll call you soon as I settle in.
Hop out of the shower.
Nitpick about the way that you've been on my mind.
The smell of incense and cocoa butter rubbed smooth on your skin.
It doesn't have to be anything spectacular.
A moment filled with the click of heels.
Just the simplicity of a moment filled with you