Do you know those
Little music boxes
Where the ballerina
Starts spinning as
Soon as the music is played?

That’s how I would describe
My childhood
Dancing to someone else’s
Tune
While completely
Mute

I look back and see
My life play out like a movie

I want to change some things
So desperately
That it aches my heart

But other things
I want to keep
so badly
that I will fight
even angels

Who are you?
Who are you to tell me
That I need you
To be a woman?

Why do I have to
Attach my worth to you?
Am I not sufficient?
Why do I need you?

Some days
You just need
To take a
Long nap
To reset your
tired brain

Normal days are the hardest
to remain close to God

On good days
There is something to
Celebrate with Him

On bad days
There is something to
Cry to Him about

On normal days
Everything feels good
That I forget how much
I need Him

Two containers:
One empty, the other full
Will both make noise
When dropped

Similarly with people
Everyone has an opinion
But you must know
Which one is worth listening to

I will take it
one
step
at
a time
If I have to wait,
Wait I will

Patience
The word is easy to say
But hard to master

I pray for patience
But then turn around
and wonder why
I haven’t received
My reward

I want it now
But am I ready?

Let me be patient
I know good things are coming
Let me hold onto the hope
That it will be all okay

Have you ever wished time would stop?
Like everything coming to a
Standstill

Just so you can have a moment
To catch your breath

The peace You provide me
Is not comparable to
Anything this world provides

I think I finally know
What I mean by
“I need peace”

It’s not that I want things to stop
Because let’s face it
They never will

It’s more peace of mind
To accept the
Chaos and
learn thrive in it

Perfection is a characteristic
That is force fed to us
A characteristic we must
Die trying to achieve
But why?

No human before me
Has been perfect
Why do they expect
It to start from me?

If there is a path
I will find it
No matter how hidden
I am not known to give up

When looking at old pictures
Look at the eyes
They convey so many emotions

I see a little kid who's
eyes are sparking
like a diamond

What do I need to do
to get that child like
happiness again?

Why am I so drained?
It feels like a pile of bricks
On my chest

Not matter how hard I try
To push them off
They want to stay
It’s their home
They say

I am learning that self-pity
Is a dangerous thing
That must never
Be allowed into your mind

It might be comforting
In an unusual way
But in reality
It's slowly poisoning
Your mind

The more poems I write
The more I realize

They help me
Give a name to
The sea of emotions
brewing in my mind

Once they have a name
They can be understood

I remember praying a long time ago
For a place of belonging
And A clan
I could call my own

Words are not enough
To describe the emotions
Stirring in my heart
As I see the prayer being
Answered

Father,
Thinking about your
Majesty and splendor
Always bring a smile
On my face

Oh to think
How would my soul
Feel when I get
To see You
Face to face

Fix me Lord
Fix my broken heart
So I can help
Other broken hearts

I no longer know
What progress feels like
Every time I feel like
I have made
A major improvement
I lose my footing
And fall right back down
From where I started

I am sorry
If I hurt you

I was trying to protect you
And me
And ended up hurting
Us both

Wind has such range:
It is gentle enough
To make a hot day better
Or
Strong enough
To wreck havoc

I think people are the same
Each capable of both extremes

Why do we expect everyone
To react to
Trauma,
Grief, and  
Celebration
In the same way?

Each person is different
And so is each circumstance
So how can we expect the
Same reaction?

I don't understand
Why some people
Have different opinions
the pandemic or climate change?

Since when did we
start having opinions
on facts?
When did we start
Picking and choosing
Our realities?

I think some relationships are cyclical
Like going through the seasons

It's painful to drastically go from
summer to winter

Just as it is to go from being in your constant presence
To a rare phone call here and there

However just like summer returns
I'm sure we'll meet again

You are remarkable
Don’t forget it

The world
May tell you
You are not good enough
to be there

But listen to the
Little voice in your head
Saying
You don’t need the world
You have you
And your tribe

They say
On the road of life
The most important
Thing you can do
Is keep walking

I may have missed
The day when
This saying was said

Because I'm right here
Sitting
In the middle
Of the road

I understand why
Romanization of death
Exists
The world is so exhausting
That death seems like a
better option

However, I wonder
What made life
So mundane and empty
That we seek to
Escape it?

The world tells me
That I need to be tough
And cold
To make it in this
Ruthless world

I don’t want that for myself
Cause I know what loneliness
Feels like
I have no intention of
Going through
That again

Sleep is a nice break from reality
And therefore very addictive
Especially if you feel more at home
There than in reality

Why is it so hard
To tell people how we feel?
The society has messed us up
So much
That even talking about
What's breaking our hearts
Seems embarrassing

It’s going a little too fast
I am desperately trying
To find the reduce speed button
But it’s nowhere to be found

I didn’t want to let it go
To be honest
I wanted it to work

But banging on a closed door
Only put splinters  
In my hands

What happens if
If I can’t go on?
What happens
If I lose my strength
To follow my dream?

Stress keeps piling up
I adjust
And make room
For it
So it’s all manageable

At this point it feels like
All the domino chips
Are lined up
And I’m just waiting
For a flick
Till it all comes crashing
Down

Take a moment and
Look back at your life

You’ll find a string
Of beautiful experiences that
Placed you where you are today

I want to look down from
Where I am on the mountain
Called life
And see
Everything I've conquered

And still have the courage
To look up
And keep climbing
Despite the fear of falling

I walk home in the
Dark of the night
From the school to my car.

Terrified I call my mom
And now I feel a little safe.
I think,
"Who's gonna hurt someone
Talking on the phone?"

Still it's not enough,
I look back
Every chance I get
To assumed my scared heart
That I'm safe.

The dimly lit street
Don't help!
The horror scene
In my head continues
To unfold.

Finally,
i get into my car
and drive home safely.

Maybe I need to
Stop watching thriller movies
Or
Maybe women's safety needs
To be taken more seriously.

Everything seems gray
Like tasteless
Zero motivation
To move or to do anything

Why do I feel this?
Why so tired and disoriented?

“Be where your feet are”

I didn’t realize
how much Time
my mind spends
in the past or the future
And rarely in the present

Makes me wonder
If this has always been the case
or a recent occurrence

Why do people describe tranquility
As stillness?
There is no stillness
It's just a concept
Your mind concocted

Look around:
The nature is busy
Do you see ants stop?
Do you see birds stand still?
Do you think air stops moving?

If you wait for stillness
You'll be waiting a long time
Find peace in the busyness
It exists trust me
You just need to look for it

I don't know if
I can do this
It feels too heavy

I know I can handle it
My past
Can attest for that

But I feel my hand slipping
And I need to hold on

What if I let go?
Will it be as
catastrophic as I think?

I love you, you know
But sometimes you do
Things that hurt me
And you don't seem to notice

I need to learn
How to deal
With the stress
As it's coming
My way

My current method
Involves repressing
With such pressure
That I cannot predict
When the volcanic
Eruption of emotions
Will occur

We need to stop
telling young children
that their worth comes
from the letters
on their report card

Too many children
are slowly
killing themselves
trying to measure up
to society's
unrealistic expectations

They don't need the latest technologies or toys

They need their parents' undivided attention
They need moments of uncontrollable laughter over something silly
They need to feel safe despite the chaos happening outside

They need beautiful memories with their family not with their devices

The wet, luscious emerald grass
dancing joyfully in the wind.
A little girl rejoices.
Her yellow dress shines
in the bright sunlight.

She takes a step,
with her dusky bare foot.
The cold water touched her.
With courage,
she took another step.

Before she knew,
she was running free,
as a wild horse.
Her black hair
softly flying behind.

Eventually, she sat down,
in the middle of a multicolored field.
Looking around at the
awe-inspiring beauty of nature.

Closing her big brown eyes,
she looked up
stretching her arms
as if embracing the sun.

She thought.
"Why can't time stop?"

She laid awake on her bed,
twenty years later
with her big brown eyes,
now filled with worry
still wondering the same question,
"Why can't time stop?"

I will not let the world
Make me bitter

No matter what happens
I will try to spread
Kindness

Not because the world
deserves it
But because it needs it