Wood burns from blue flames Air drawn in does change Prepared for events to unfold Stationary held for take off Past the count of numbers out Breathing easier now A transient being announced Green lady elevates state Orange eyes merge, lights diverge Lifted into what seems to be A tunnel of colourful multiple Vs Pleasant fate when identity dissipates No pain, no pressures, no claims Just white space Until pulled back into this place To live a life again
in case you may not know, it was the last car at the end of a train, usually it was a red or occasionally a yellow color which would be clearly noticed
this car was manned in order to monitor the train from that end for any issues, particularly in case an axle from one of the coal cars locks up and catches on fire
but i guess this feature was eliminated due to improvements in the wheel assemblies, or maybe because they had new electronic monitoring for the crews in the locomotives
if you are under the age of thirty, this may not have been general knowledge to you since the use of these cars were phased out sometime in the 1980's, now a red flashing light signifies the end of the train
you can see one of these cars parked near the city square just north of the Tennessee/Kentucky border in Guthrie— there is just enough rail underneath to hold it braked in place
i think the rails once extended to the mainline and the car was trapped there when acetylene cutters terminated its route in either direction.
the men who rode it are now the ghosts of everlasting employment.
now we have thousands riding the caboose of their careers amidst red blaring lights that flash from all imaginable directions—
many of them sitting motionless upon routes that go nowhere...
Trails of light impair sight Pulsating snake-like kites Shine stronger collectively More from than the left or right I, cannot see properly What is in front of me Peak lightning streaks
Been here before Status is temporary Symptoms of brain fatigue Or excessive use of screens Warning signs align Step away from this stationary place Researching this state No pain or migraine Time to vacate by taking a break
They say I am ill, That my future stands, still Too far out of reach Yet not close enough to feel
It's patience is no virtue It's silence is no gift, I will claw my way to find it just to find it doesn't exist.
They will watch with desperate eyes praying that through all the destruction and hatred I pass I will somehow survive the disguise of my past
It's soulless smile rips through my skin Destroying the layer of heaven I built Constricting my heart of the love I once felt
They say not to live in the past, or fret of the future but to stand in the present
But how can I stand when the past has shaken the ground I am on, & the future clouded my blue sky with grey?
I wrote this in a time when I honestly felt like I wasn't going anywhere and that somehow, no matter how much I tried, my past would always catch up to me. I hope you like it and that some of you can relate.. :))
Around me people are moving Buzzing, swarming, fluttering And living. Legs moving but I am stationary Stationary as a pencil And my life is being written for me And every slip outside the lines Is erased - reluctantly Not without grudges Leaving contorting smudges. And the world around me changes But I am stationary And they can live without me.
What's the point of you at all when all they want is a cut-and-paste person. <3
When I feel the world is moving way too fast, When the stars disappear and reappear over the horizon in what feels like seconds, When the moon's gentle crescent curve consumes the black around it and expands in the span of a night - We’re moving so fast, you and I, we’re falling through space and time The universe is expanding and we’re falling into the sun Flying through space at a thousand miles an hour With the sun hitting us at the speed of light Life here is infinite, stretching out forever So when I feel we’re going too fast I rummage in my accumulated possessions and pull out the most valuable piece I set up my still forest of ticking trees and clockwork animals Plant the swaying grass within the everlasting soil
I'll sit in my unmoving meadow And watch the world stay still