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Keiri Aug 2019
Soft pillows of feathers.
Brush my face with ease.
For just a moment nothing matters.
For a minute, my worries seize.

Sheets wave like the oceans.
Cover me and cuddle me.
Such an unexpected nuance.
Just enjoy being free.

I really needed this break.
This still moment of nothingness.
But now I'm back for my own sake.
And I finally got to confess.

I notice that with being alive again.
And my body finally standing on its own.
There was a cost I payed for my zen.
Chaos emerged, while I was all alone.

Even though I didn't move for a while.
All my problems are awaiting on a pile.
Every cloud has a silver lining, but a cloud that nearly dragged you down into the depts of the deep... It's silver linings are not easily felt... If you're depressed and not capable of doing everything, but the world moves on with or without you... You feel alot of pressure after awaking your well needed rest... a pressure that might cause a burnout or a depression that'll get you in an endless circle
Keiri Jul 2019
Grasping at the speed of light after the shining antique.
Missed it by a hair, I blame my physique.
As my hands swim in the shatters of my heart, the vase filled with dreams and all that got discart.
The carmine liquid flowing out of my very own skin.
The regret, the shadow will be left within.
As an empty broken vase, oh isn't it sad.
For I alone understand the visions I had.
As I throw the shards of my life away, the sin.
I finally remembered an inch of his grin.
I should've known it was bluff, the eyes that has seen all, but I would not be enough, so my dream has finally made it's fall.
His silence cannot be tamed.
Lost in the blood and the shards he was framed.
This poem is a repolishing of High Pitched Silent Sounds. Since that poem was just simply litterally translated, this poem however grasped the same idea that I tried to express in Dutch, it used different sentences and structure, but shows you the feeling that it was supposed to express.
Keiri Jul 2019
A thousand dreams I've dreamed of dreams.
Or maybe even more it seems.
A thousand times I wore out my eyes.
To realise the faintest disguise.

A thousand days I've wondered why,
The thousand ideas that crossed my mind.
Not one of them looked real at all.
Princes, castles and an evening ball.

A thousand sparkles in my eyes as
A thousand tears cried so many lies.
To hear them scream and then to dream
Of a thousand beams of sunlight.
A prince charming ready to fight.

A thousand words as long as ropes that hoses and wets the same hopes
And dreams as they cry and pry and never really learned why.

A thousand smiles I wore for you, a thousand faces that sore me too.
For a thousand dreams I dreamed of dreams,
In a thousand dreams, this one is for you.
Inspired by the Disney film - 'Enchanted'
Keiri Oct 2019
Regardez-moi, Tu me vois!
C'est moi tu portes, ma vie, ma joie.
Pourquoi ma vie tu t'en fous pas?
Pourquoi tu choisis quoi je sera?

Regardez-moi, moi tu vois!
Alors, tu n'ecoutes pas
C'est ma vie vous avez pris
Pas des personnes s'entendent mes cris

Qui méconnaît mes pleurs
Qui tue mes freres et soeurs?

Regardez-moi, si tu t'en fous
Je suis la vison autour ta cou.
A poem I prepared for a achool art project which I will present before the jury in December. (I'm studying to become an art teacher). My theme will be "mink in the neck", and will be about slaughtering animals for fashion as a sole purpose... I will present paintings which show the insides of minks and shows what cruelty there still is in the fashion and fur factory. I will also wear my sleeping lazy ferret Draco around my neck as a scarf at the exhibit, #fur is prettier when it's alive
Keiri Nov 2019
I will speak a thousand words unspoken.
Leave a hundred paws unprint.
Have dozens of nights awoken.
Smell the lonesome wind.

I will see the invisible, and touch the nothing.
I shall be irresistible, with what you have to bring.

Yours I shall become, your neck will be my future.
My teeth do no harm and your words are a murmur.

Regarde moi, Tu me vois!
Tu me portes, ma vie, ma joie.
Pourquoi tu te fous de ma vie?
Dis-moi, comment je survis?

Tu choisis ce que je serai!
Je ne comprends pas ce que tu me vais!

Regarde-moi, Tu me vois!
Alors, n'ecoute pas!

C'est ma vie que vous avez prise
Personne n'entend mes cris

Qui méconnaît mes pleurs
Qui tue mes freres et soeurs?

Maar het doet je niets, je hoort me niet.
Je ziet het bloed niet dat je vergiet.
Je hoort en spreekt en ziet en luistert.
Alle leugens die je voor me verduisterd.

Je doet me pijn, weet je dat.
Al is het iets dat je snel vergat.

Al zie je niets als je me draagt.
Al weet je niets als men je vraagt.

Daremonai ga watashi no gengo wo hanashimasen.
Demo kono ate watashi no atama ha ten ni ikimasen.

Watashi no karada ha anata no issho ni aru darou.
Shin ha kowai deshou.

Watashi ha anata no fuku koto ni naranai.
Dakara sore koto ni kawatte shimasu kudasai.
Shin ha totemo kowai!

Spreche die sprache der toten.
Wer hat mich leben angeboten.
Von mirh zu stelen?
Ist Daß nicht elend?

Trage mich und mein blut.
Trage mich und siehst mich gut.
Dein Schwein pfeift nicht.
Mein Worte sind wirklicht.

Neden beni seviyorsun?
Beni öldürüyorsun.
Bana bir sans ver.
Beni öldürüyorsan.
Beni nasil sevebilirsin?

For I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Dis-moi, que tu me vois?
Of lieg je tegen jezelf?
Beni verdim sans...
Aber du siehst mich nicht!

Speak my language of the death.
Tu ne m'aimes pas que tu me mort.
Regardez-moi, qui tu t'en fous.
Je suis la vison autour ta cou.

_____
Grammar checked "Mink in the neck"
(Still a W.I.P.)
My keyboard failed on me with Turkish, I didn't have an 'i' without the point or the 'S' cedille. Forgive me... (Because of loving in a neighbour country, I did have the German eszett XD. I also had all the French accents. But don't get me startes on all the Japanese characters I couldn't type... Romaji it is XD
Keiri Jul 2019
Somewhere in the middle of the forrest,
a most peculiar bridge exists.
There is no path to it, no lake under it to rest.
It seems rather safe to cross, no dangers at your fists.

It has no purpose to be there, there is nothing on the other side.
When you are on top of it, nothing seems that different at all.
It's a small boat long in size, and three tree-trunks wide.
It's not that high, and the edges will prevent anyone to fall.

It's made with cobblestone and moss.
Nothing too modern or too old.
It showed nature who's boss.
It's been there for centruries I'm told.

When looking underneath, nothing's all that weird.
There's just dirt, leaves and grass to be seen.
It's not to be admired or be feared.
Nobody knows what the bridge is supposed to mean.

Somewhere in the middle of the forrest in my mind,
a most peculiar bridge is just standing there.
There is no path to lead you to it, or nothing at all to find.
There is no reason at all, anyone would care.
Inspired by 'The Bridge to Terabithia'
Keiri Nov 2019
Please hide, I will moan my fears and my cries
Even I see, sight is my victory
Fear is what cost me my horrible lies
Darkness is what draws you in my story

Lies have granted me where I am today
I am not me nor I am either you
Deceive is but only my first sur name
I will always regret the force of "true"

But, when I met you in my loathing heart
The light upon your gleaming silver tongue
In my play of pleasure you get your part
Born anew my new life will start from young

It is your light that lights my sour small soul
Heal me, help me, save me, that shall be all
What is a sonnet:
- 14 lines.
- Rhymes. The most common is the Shakespearean rhyme scheme: ABAB CDCD EFEF GG
- Meter. Most commonly iambic pentameter. Beginners may count out 10 syllables per line. Real iambic pentameter means five unstressed-stressed units (dah DUM dah DUM dah DUM dah DUM dah DUM): “shall I comPARE thee TO a SUMmer’s DAY?” Each unit may be two syllables, but not always, (“it BRILliantly SOARED”). More on meter here.
- A subject and a turn. Most commonly a sonnet will have a focused subject that is explored in the first eight lines, then there will be a shift or turn in the poem that sheds new light on the subject. In Shakespeare’s famous “Sonnet 18” someone’s beauty is compared to a summer’s day in the first eight lines and then the poem shifts to the immortality granted to beauty by poetry.
Keiri Oct 2019
By the skies of humanity
The endless waves of shame
The concept of artificial sanity
Am I playing only a game?

Straying while staying in the stage with so much stakes on my tray while I train on standing straight.

Breathing in my dreams while dreaming about breathing.

Shuddering at the promising sun cooling my thoughts, warming my body on the idea of a cold winter.

The ashes of my sins sweeping swiftly like world's first snow. I close my eyes, for darkness is the only world I would know.

Opened at last, my tired eyes witnessed the elegant cherry blossom before me.
Strong and proud the flowerpetals fall. Along with my sins, heaps of ashes into a mountain of grey and pink.

By the mother of my generation.
I shall stand by your side.
The epidemic of our nation,
Will hit us all worldwide.

There is no war fiercer, than a war within ourselves.
First poem in months, I kinda missed it, throwing those words out and just getting things out of my system... Sorry for following ''last poem ever'' with a new poem, I **** at quitting ;)
Keiri Dec 2019
By the skies of humanity

The endless waves of shame

The concept of artificial sanity

Am I just playing a game?

Straying while staying in the stage with so much stakes on my tray while I train on standing straight.

Breathing in my dreams while dreaming about breathing.

Shuddering at the promising sun cooling my thoughts, warming my body on the idea of a cold winter.

The ashes of my sins sweeping swiftly like world's first snow. I close my eyes, for darkness is the only world I could ever see.

Opened at last, my tired eyes witnessed the elegant cherry blossom before me.
Strong and proud the flowerpetals fall. Along with my sins, heaps of ashes into a mountain of grey and pink.

By the mother of my generation.
I shall stand by your side.
The epidemic of our nation,
Will hit us all worldwide.

There is no war fiercer, than a war within ourselves.
Keiri Aug 2019
D: Walk on by.
Keep your head high.
Turn your cheek aside.
Don't question why.
Don't trust the lie.
And when they lie about you.
Ignore them and look at the sky!

K: Why will I look to the sky?
Isn't that were people go who die?
Don't get me wrong, I won't deny...
That I have to believe or at least try.

D: oh, sweet child, there is nothing but stars.
But still lift your chin upwards.
It will show them you don't care.
That you are a girl who's fair,
That's not easy to scare.
And if they'd even dare,
Lay a finger upon your skin?
Don't you stop and stare.
Show them you can bear!

K: Lift my chin upwards?
I'll look stupid, no one does that.
I won't know what to do with my head.
Isn't there something to be said.
Or am I so easily read?
My legs always feel like lead.
And my armpits wet.
What do I even do with that?!

D: Don't you doubt a single word.
One day you will want to be heard.
Don't you ever feel disturbed.
You are a bird.

Fly and be free.
Soar and believe in me.
Otherwise you will regret.
A lonely life, alone and sad.

K: I wil Mimi, I do.
I do believe in you!

D: I'll have to go now, and you know
He is awaiting me.
The man is not to be feared.
He was very gentle, you see.
He asked me how I felt.
He had a nice soft glee.
So charming, death was he.
I didn't even try to flee.

D: Remember what I said. If they bully you, chin up to the stars. Maybe, maybe not, I will be there.
This was very hard for me to write... When I was a child, I didn't have many friends. One of my best friends was a 50+ year old neighbour who had cancer. I always went to her, and she taught me everything I know and hold dear. She died 5 years ago, and this is one of the last conversations I had with her about when the girls in my bus were gossiping about me. When this conversation happened, we both knew she was going to die the day after, it was a planned death, she was in pain and had an euthanasia.
Keiri Jul 2019
Colorful

He didn't know they cared.
His lost self is drowning.
Alone in the world he dared,
To look at it all frowning.

He felt like a horse in the water
looking at the light.
He was never seen by his mother.
Gave up because of the fright.

For all this time he was alone.
No one wanted to see him cry.
For all the failures he saw his own.
And wished the world goodbye.

Gulped into a wirlpool of menkind.
Dark, pitchblack at the end of the light.
Nothing he could ever find.
Nothing could make him fight, at least not with all his might.

His idols are weak, and chose to walk on highways.
His family never blinked an eye.
No one could count all those days.
Were he kept asking himself why.

He was a wrong soul in his own life.
He did not belong in this fase.
Lied who he was and took the dive.
As if he was the only one in his race.

Those who follow me will die, he said.
So I will live on my own from now.
But life is not living while dead.
And he greeted his crowd with a bow.

His colours match mine.
That is what scared me the most.
Only I pretend to be fine.
While he saw more and overdosed.

What colour is it, that tangled our lifelines?
Will I meet my colour soon?
I hope it's bright, I hope it shines.
I hope it is the blue of the moon.

Or the pink of a lily.
The yellow of a bumblebee
Oh no, don't look at it silly.
It's not just the colours you see.

Whatever colour it is, it's not shown by the mirror.
We will never see what we carry.
All we will ever see is error.
We hate dispair, yet discard the merry.

He met the horse and the kid.
He was swimming in his own memory.
The thick liquid paint stuck on the lid.
He never even got to say sorry.

Let's paint the world with you and me.
Family, friends, that girl across the street
And for the first time, it's his colour I see.
My colour gave me the chance to meet.

And suddenly, everyone cared
All eyes were fixed on him.
Aknowledged what he had beared.
Everything changed on a whim.

The happy feeling of sorrow.
The delight of burning alive.
Because there's always tomorrow.
It's never too late to strive.

And with pain he said the kid goodbye.
He took the horse along.
He never again doubted why.
Suddenly falling didn't feel wrong.

For he fell and I fell.
And we both stood up on our feet.
We're all good and well.
Ready to start sketching on a new sheet.

What colour is it I wear.
Is it bright and prone?
I claim to have much to bear.
But I was never really alone.
Inspired by the movie - 'Colorful'
Keiri Jul 2019
Come on now run, before it's too late.
Hurry, you don't want to miss this.
Missing your own life, what a terrible fate.
Live forever in the empty abyss.

Run now fast, don't think of you nor he!
Don't stick around, don't worry.
You need this and that.
Oh no don't do that instead.

Run for it or you'll be sorry.
The courtain is up, you'll miss the story.
Oh look on stage, that lady's fat.
She's got barely any hair on her head.

Where are you, look at this glory.
However the part after it got gory.
She's pretending to be fine, with that pet
But what will she ever gain from a rat.

You're still not here, you need to hurry.
I'm coming I'm coming, but I'm seing blurry.
What about this play is so great is what I don't get.
It's horrible it's sad and it's full of dark and red.

It's about a girl that lived too soon.
She regretted every single step.
Dreaming of changing the world, going to the moon.
It's a typical story I'd rather take a nap.

Oh finally you got here, are you ready?
What in the world took you so long.
Always such a bored laddy.
How can you not like the play or the song?

I don't like it and never will.
Never when my own story is told.
It makes me feel like I was standing still.
While everything around me got to unfold.

I ran and ran and now I'm finally here.
But I just realised, it's only about to start.
I don't like long intro's I say with a sneer.
It's hard to set the story appart.

Are you ready for the rest of the story?
Trust me, it'll only get better, you won't be sorry!
My own motivational progress, this is how I keep myself going. But you know, I learned it from you ;)
Keiri Dec 2019
On a winter's day
With a summer's mind
In a sky so grey
The pessimistic kind.
It's supposed to not make sense
Keiri Nov 2019
Speak the language of the dead
Watch me as I die to speak
Hear me cry the things I said
Pray for me on the words I seek

I’ve lost and I’ve found
I’ve mourned and I’ve been bound
Hear not just my words but my sound
Find me inches below the ground

Speak to me from the side of the living
Hear me as I say my goodbyes
The world has offered me a good bidding
But the world has hidden me the lies

I’ve lived and I’ve died
I’ve cheered and I’ve sighed
I’ve been both follower and guide
I haven't been long by your side

On your shoulders I shall rest
For my heart failed you
I have tried my best
So you have seen me through
Keiri Aug 2019
Everybody tells you from the moment you're born.
When you grow up, do what you're best at.
But honestly, I could've sworn.
That I never intended to be a brat.

Everybody tells you to keep your dreams real.
To not expect fairytales to be true.
So I always made it a big deal.
To push my dream and pull me through.

Everybody tells you to live your dream.
The bodies I walked over.
Even though I heard them scream.
I closed my ears, I wasn't sober.

Everybody tells you to believe in what you can do.
But what fruits could I ever bring?
What have I ever done for you?
All I could ever be is dissapointing.
I am only a dissapointment :/
Keiri Aug 2019
Help me get up from this sleep.
I didn't notice falling so deep.
I'm affraid to hear ''his'' reap.
I'm not ready yet, hear me wheep!

I don't want to end this way.
Keep death just a little at bay.
I will make it worth, just let me stay.
I know I have wasted every year and day.

I just fell.
But I'm not affraid of falling anymore.
Don't live once, a reflective poem about wasting my life by making it my own. The only way a person lives beyond dying, is by leaving something behind. This self reflecting poem is therefore my way of saying I'm not ready to waste my life, but it's so hard to leave something behind. I want to mean something, but I keep falling, and one day, I will not fear death anymore.
Keiri Oct 2019
I'm speaking to you but you're not there.
Believing in science truly leaves a scare.

I feel stupid for not letting go of my immoral behaviour,
But I just cannot help it, there is no saviour!

After losing you, speaking to you seems lost.
It pains me to dissagree what she thinks.
I do not believe in the paths you say you'd cross.
I see you everywhere, in the dragonfly's wings.

But the wings are silent.

It's hurtful to know the future.
It's easy to lie there's more.
I miss the times of nurture,
Where it's easy to believe a lore.

Flap away, the wings take the beast a sway.
The dragon sais goodbye,
It wings pushes effort to fly.

I may have put believe on a jinx.
But in my heart and mind,
There are Dragonfly's wings.
So beautiful, one of a kind.
Today's a hard day, the deathday of Dragonfly, I still miss you, I won't forget you. You know I don't believe, but in case I'm wrong, please come knock my door, it's Halloween, a ghost wouldn't be out of place now...
Keiri Aug 2019
Social introverts and a shy extroverts.
Dyslectics grading better in spelling.
Deaf children who know more words.
People with anxiety better at selling.

Kids with ADHD who are more calm.
Autistics who can relate better.
Paralysed people able to feel their palm.
A blind person ready to read every letter.

Who could guess their equality.
Could you imagine, you can't tell 'em appart?
Who could even think of such a society.
Just look at this, humanity's piece of art!

Who could imagine I'm one of ''them''.
One alike you and the rest of this place.
For we all are a different kind of gem.
All shining in our own simple grace.

If there's a ''them'' and there's an ''us''.
But none can tell one from another.
Is there a ''them'' at all, thus.
Then why a ''them'', it's only a bother.
What is disabled these days. After studying the brain and the basics of psychology, all I've ever learned is that we know nothing. Why make a different if we're all the same. And why, when we're all so different, group people who are alike, because no one is a copy of another, yet no one is different at all.
Keiri Jan 2020
Head me, oh mighty pit
For I have earned a cure.
See me, a failure's ***.
That will not fail, no more.

Fill me from my hollow's dream,
And sore me over my head.
For I am healed and so it seems,
I will no longer be dead.

I have seen the light, felt it bright, filled me with might, it finally feels right.

I have proceded my promises,
Felt the sun and its wings,
My soul is leaving the premises,
My heart devoures and sings.

I have escaped the dark, enlightened the bark, fled the teeth o' shark, I am left with a terrible mark.

It'll follow me in my sleep,
It'll drown me in the deep,
But it will not hurt no more,
For I am pure in the core.
Keiri Aug 2019
It's a morning world in my evening life.
It's a genderless world of husband and wife.
It's a green world with a dusty end.
It's a lonely world with nearly no friend.

It's a dawn new world in my twilight life.
It's a new beginning in my honey hive.
It's a slimy end for my gruesome begin.
It's a lonely day for me and my sin.

It's a sunny world in my rainy life.
It's a waterless world and a pointless dive.
It's a lovely day for my night to come.
It's a horroble night and my head goes numb.

It's a bright world in my dark life.
It's a weird dansfloor, for my mistimed jive.
It's a beautiful butterfly for my bitter sky.
It's the worst timing ever, to ask myself why.
Keiri Dec 2019
A wolf's howl deep in the night
The moon shining peaceful bright
The trees embracing the subtle light
The cubs crawling with all their might

A wolf running trough the vast mountain
Running along with its kin
A human tripping over her chin
By the name of Din

She's frail and small with red eyes
The wolf glares at her common lies
With her came the darkness demise
Red were all the skies

She summoned an eternal dark
The cubs all started to bark
Momma wolf growled and marked
With her body she made an ark

The girl laughed hysterically here
The forest was filled with eyeing leer
The cubs were shaking with fear
Momma wolf kept her close to her dear

But the storm passed by a loyal knight
Before known they saw a calming light
Farore's howl soothed the fright
The girl fleed the haunted night

The woman kneeled for the wolf she saw
And a triangle glowed on her right paw
She is now the mother of three
But the fourth is chosen to set them free.

The one chosen by Farore to save the day
Her fourth son will keep the monsters at bay
Followed by a glowing star shouting ''Hey''
They will bring peace and keep it to stay
A fan poem...
When you know what I'm talking about: You had a great childhood ;)
Also..... forgive me for including Navi, but I had to XD
Keiri Aug 2019
Just above the endless sky,
Beyond the clouds we fly.
Among the air as a whole.
I nearly lose my soul.

Lost in thought my head goes off.
In the distance I hear a cough.
If only it could wake me now.
I move my face and frown my brow.

A little bird flying by.
I wave and said it "hi".
She looked at me and flew me past.
I didn't want to see the last.

Opening my eyes I see my class.
I should pay attention to pass.
But only a minute or two I tried.
And back I was in my evening glide.
This poem is about not being able to focus your attention, and accidentally drifting off while important things are being said or done. It took me a while before I could controll my "daydreaming" in class, and it sure did ruin alot of classes for me in the past.
Keiri Oct 2019
Who stands by me now I face the demon?
Who will be beside me now I cannot see the sun?

Now my strength is dropping, my courage is stopping, who's here to pass me the gun?

I do not remember climbing this mountain on my own.
Everyone I had are now suddenly gone.

Who will aid me slaughtering this giant demon?
Who will drag my limbs back to the sun?
Who stands by me, now this fight has begun?

Where are you! Yes you! Who knows my pleads too well.
Where were you at the ringing of the drums and the bell.

Why leave me on the top of the mountain, why leave me ready to die.
Where are you now I'm standing this high.
Why did you leave without saying goodbye.
Ready to see my dead body even try.

Where are you now I'm about to give in.
Who will stop me to surrender?
Who will see me step in,
the demon's fury, so hot and tender.
no comment
Keiri Aug 2019
Gorgious grass fills my unending world illuminated by the suns.
The suns that seized the darkness.
The pink skies that got to unfold as the sounds of guns.
The red horizon promising more emptiness.

The craziness of the blue fogs that obscure my thoughts and choke my words.
The words of the power that emerges from the depts of the deep.
As the hearted suns met by the pure and helps me with sorts.
I finally feel the green shower that surges to help me steep.
Keiri Aug 2019
It's not a dissability.
There isn't something wrong with me.
I'm just a little down you see.
I wish I could be happy.

I wish I could see me like you did.
My mirror isn't that solid.
There's so much I would rid.
Sometimes, I can be such a kid.

All I have done so far.
Always trying to be a star.
It's high, how I rose my bar.
Within myself I am at war.

An eternal crisis for my identity.
I'm far from being an entity.
Fake, wrong and full of pity.
Yes, it does make me feel ******.

I am nowhere to be seen.
I haven't acted very clean.
I happened to be very mean.
I just needed someone to let me lean.

I didn't get what I want at all.
I am stuck in a neverending fall.
And whenever I try to even crawl.
There's no one I even dare to call.

I let myself suffer alone.
To teach me get a heart of stone.
Keiri Jan 2020
Deep down diving darkness drains the death of the dawn.
Inside its insidious inferno his child chants the chains.
All aware the awoken, head its hell and heart.
For frozen facts have fallen and frail fractures have formed
End the everlasting era of elaborating electronic evolution and withold the wall of woven worlds
Trees and tracks have traced its meaning and tried to trust the truth once more
Hell on earth will withold
No comment (use your imagination)
Keiri Aug 2019
Drown me in the pond.
Purify my saddened soul.
Forgive my darkness.
5 - 7 - 5 Syllables
Keiri Jul 2019
The pitched sound of glass that breaks and I just fall
The surprise as it slips from your fingers.
Bleeding while you're trying to save it all.
Lost forever, this feeling lingers.

Trying to fix it, but failing hard.
Doubting what to do as your hope starts to fade.
It hurts more than to just stop and fall appart.
Gleaming with the failures you've made.

Puzzling the pieces is harder than I thought.
The wounds in my fingers are not helping.
It's all for nothing and I've fought.
My fingers full of glass and the bleeding isn't stelping.

The glass can never be saved, what's done is done.
And when your life is flipping upside down.
And you realise, all you did is run.
You see the blood and you hear the sound.

You never wanted it to drop.
You didn't even realise.
The clinging sound in the cleaning mop.
Nearly pretty, your demise.

His silence can't be tamed.
This is one of my first poems, it might sound strange since I repolished it and translated it to English (from Dutch). The original was a bit darker too, I had to turn it down a notch (don't worry, it's been 2 years, I'm in a post depression state and just posting the poems I've made in those terrible times)
Keiri Jul 2019
Faking beliefs to believe in the fake.
For the real is way to real.
I still don't want to awake.
I'll imagine I've got a tastier meal.

Be strong, I say, don't give in.
For it will be for the wrong reason.
Spaghetti, potatoes, peas, please don't sin.
Steak or stew or mussles with season.

Scones, soup, browney with a liquid core.
Or rather think of a good baked fish.
Don't, just don't think of him anymore.
Try to replace him with your favorite dish.

I can' give in, I can't give up.
It won't be good if I drink the same cup.
Again and again it's a cup with a crack.
And all my sweet cocoa will flee right back.

I keep thinking, is this right?
I can't tell right from wrong in my blurred sight.
It's bad to go back, so just go on forth.
But my eyes slip back, like a compass needle north.

I need to hold myself, faults won't do me good.
I'll just have to stop my thinking with even more food.
It's a similar hormone triggered, I will feel the same.
What am I? Will I rather be fat again to spare me of the pain?

Why am I weak, it's such a one way to think.
But what else to do when my heart's about to sink.
Pop in my head, there he is again.
Chocolate, chicken breast, bread full of grain.

Don't think, just don't think at all.
Will he be hurt, does he think of me at all.
Is he alright, what is he up to right now.
Does he miss me, and I just wonder how.

Stop it, weakling, you can do better than this.
Orange sauce, porto dressing, ribs as soft as a kiss.
Mac and cheese, ceasar salad, do you think he is alright.
Was I wrong, after all he still wanted to fight.

No, be strong, honeydressing, porkchop, carrot stew.
How many chances did I give him a new?
Stop it, steamed beef, apple cake, am I really mad?
Why did walking away from him feel so bad.

Faking beliefs to believe in the fake.
For the real is way to hard.
I still don't want to believe my mistake.
For I too was wrong at my part.
Hot devil - The name of this poem is named after a yummy casserole dish called 'Hot devil' (it's Dutch) it's with veggies in white sauce, mashed potatoes and roasted meat baked in layers within the casserole in the oven... you should try it, it's really tasty

Here's the recipe for 4 persons
- 12 normal sized potatoes
- 1kg of minced meat
- 1/2 l milk
- 2 tbsp plain flour
- 2 tbsp baking butter
- 1/2 porridge (the white side, small chopped)
- 4 sticks of sellery (small chopped)
- 4 normal sized carrots (small chopped)
- Salt, nutmeg and pepper
- 1 egg yolk
- breadcrumbs

Cook and mash the potatoes. Add the eggyolk in the mashed potatoes, altogether with a little bit of milk and a little bit of butter, mash it all untill it's a moistured paste.  Roast the meat, chop it in small bits while roasting it in the pan. Slice the porridge, sellery and carrot in small pieces. Melt the butter in a *** and add the plain flour, now stir bit by bit the milk in the mixture. Season the white sauce with salt and pepper and nutmeg. Add the veggies in the sauce and boil further for a minute or two. Take a casserole that can stand the heat of the oven. Rub half of the mashed potato in on the bottom. Put the meat on top of it, now put the veggies on top of that layer, fill the last layer with the remaining mashed potatoes and sprinkle the upper layer full with breadcrumbs until you can't see any mashed potatoes underneath the crumbs. Put in the oven (180°C for about 20 minutes).
Keiri Dec 2019
How I hate my own words
My rhymes of my thirst
My pleadings of violence
The consequence
Of adolescence.

How I hate my own deeds
The way my head bleeds
And plants its little seeds
In my sanity's field of weeds.

How I hate the way I stand
crouched and always bent
body getting closer to the land
It will be buried in the end
Or how I crouch me for a friend
Trying to share a shoulder to lend.

How I hate the way I listen
While your voices get to glisten
It makes me frisson
To listen to your wisdom.

How I hate myself
And how I'm put on the shelf
A memory to postpone
How I hate being alone
Keiri Jul 2019
I feel ashamed as the fire went out already.
It took so long for it to lit.
For a while it hasn't been that steady.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be fit.

For only a day and I'm already beat.
I don't sleep very well.
I blame the the weather and the heat.
But I know it's not the reason I fell.

When I look in the mirror I am ashamed.
The extra that's still visible on me.
I want to be seen, be famed.
But what I see is not what I want to be.

Asleep and tired, from my own urge to be freed.
Empty inside, but it will be worth it, you'll see.
But I'm not stopping this until I see what I need.
Yet I miss the days my fire was easily lit by me.
Disclaimer: this poem was inspired by the song- 'Empty' by Jaiden Animations and boyinaband. You should see it on Youtube.
Keiri Aug 2019
It wasn't an impossible goal.
But I did give it all of my soul.

I wanted to be a teacher.
Be a duller, rules abiding preacher.

I saw me with glasses, and my hair in a dot.
Proudly presented in the hallways I'd trot

Everyone would see me and assume
What an ancomplished woman I presume

I wanted a simple house with children and a dog.
In my classroom, I would endlessly monologue.

I'd have two children I'd teach everything myself.
There'd be a successful book I wrote on every shelf.

That was my idea of success.
Before it all became a mess.

However I still truly believe.
I'll get over all this grieve.

And still make it work.
Without meeting another ****.

That took all away from me.
I'll get there, you'll see!
This litterly is my life in a nutshell
Keiri Nov 2019
My kidneys are failing me
But I have failed them too
I tried to **** myself
Yes I'm starting on a taboo.

But I do have to admit
One very sad little fact.
I never wanted to end my life
It all was just one sick act.

I know, it's low.
But don't cheer up just yet.
If I did it for a lack of attention
that you didn't give, and I didn't get.

Then what does that make of you?
Do you feel any better?
I still managed to harm my health,
Not dying doesn't end my letter.

I need love and acception
So I happen to just ask it wrong.
People make mistakes,
And I've made them so long.

I at least care to come clean,
I have the feeling, I'm never seen.
I speak the truth when I say,
I've never chosen the wrong way.

I just needed you
And you needed me too
I'm not there, but neither are you
It's not fair, but we're not seeing through.

We're both wrong
And no ones right.
And now you're gone
And I gave up the fight.
telling the truth is really hard. If you made a mistake, you process it by taking responsability... I've never done that, and my conscious carries a loud. A loud that's keeping me from being happy
Keiri Nov 2019
You held me close to you
You were real, pure and true

I couldn't cross the street alone
You loved me through skin and bone

I wasn't allowed to bike to school
Picked up by the bus, I looked like a fool

You held my hand a little too tight
Until I wanted to escape with all my might

And then you let go
I was free, was I though?

I could finally prove who I was!
That I was strong, not made of glass

I wanted to prove my independancy
To outdo ever single tendency

Graduate, live all alone at last
But... everything got ruined past

I forgot just this one little detail
Something that daily made me pale

Being able to do things alone
doesn't necessarily make you grown

It means you're always by your own
It kills you inside, have that constant 'lone

I begged you to help me, to love the source
And like a prince on a white horse

There you were at the rescue
But the damage was due

How adult I was, I was still a child
Prince, you dropped me back in the wild

And wild it was, it broke my soul
All I wanted was for you to see my hoal

I asked it her oncemore
My pure, silver core

Begged to take me back
At minimums I was back on deck

We fought everyday for stupid things
Yet you still expected those tight clings

We fought and we yelled
You held me tighly, I relled

And alone I am still to this day
Who can offer me love to stay?

Can't you be my mother again
I'm begging you now and when

But you turn me down at every sight
Alone I am, to the world I'll fight
__________
Keiri - written by Keiri
A little biography
My little biography
Keiri Sep 2019
Now that I'm awake, I once again realised what I've lost.
I guess I'm just used to being used around and tossed.

If you can make mistakes, but I can't...
I just keep wondering who really is my friend.

Now that I'm sober, I can finally see them appart.
Those who dropped me when things got hard.

Those who are still near me even though I made a fuss.
All aline, an empty line, no one cares thus...

All alone an empty world with only those who are near.
Forced to care by blood or court, I'm seeing so clear.

Am I so difficult to love, in moments of despair.
With come and go perspective, I just don't think it's fair.

All those who read this might understand.
For this last poem, is for all those who denied my hand.

All alone at last, I will finally give up on you.
For I am human, nothing more, no one understands me too.

For this last poem I will walk alone, awake my rust.
For it will be hard for me to ever, ever gain more trust.
Awaking from my depression, noticing that in my moment of weakness, I rise alone. All left me in my worst period, all dropped me in my biggest moment of need... I do not believe in people anymore
Keiri Aug 2019
Oh shut up! Said the horror of the community that preferred to shut the voices they feared. Stop speaking nonsense for the nonsense was not mine.

Don't you tell lies said the people that preferred to walk around with blindfolds. Speak no more said the only person that you finally got to listen to you.

I've lost it all.
I am now alone in my forest green.
I can't believe I'm abandoned like this.
If only they'd listen to what I've seen.

The world is round, and Paris lies in France.
But all my words appear to be lies.
I won't give up; I know what I know.
There's a rainbow in my head, and something beyond the skies.

Oh shut up said the sceptic, the idealistic dream that lives of money. We don't need your heathen ideas anymore, for you are cursed to be bound to a burning pole with you and your dreams and ideas. Your visions are not to be told!

Call me when you do need me, I will await you, with my rainbow in my head and something beyond the skies. I will help you get the grass green again.
A little bit of literature combined with poetry to show the world how solutions are handled regarding global warming. It also reflects the feeling I get when people don't believe in me. When I was very young, and no one believed a word I said due to my vast imagination, I wanted to be believed and once said "Paris lies in France" just to see how my family would react. They responded "That's not true" out of habit, then realised what they said. Denied they ever denied Paris like that, ever since. And even of that event, I appear to be a liar.
Keiri Nov 2019
How can you see the sun if you shade your eyes with precaution.
How can you wear the world with sunblock on your skin...
How can you rest when you move with exhaustion.
How can you ever end your life which you didn't even begin.

How can you feel a breeze when you stay inside.
Or play with snow on a winter's day.
How can you ever see the worlds collide,
If no one ever has something to say.

How can you see yourself in the mirror, if you refuse to look.
How can you like others when so full of hate.
How do you wish to remain secret, but talk like an open book.
How could you possibly blame the world of your fate?

How can you squish a leaf fallen from the sky.
Broken and sad, scattered on the ground.
Autumns tears who remain to fly,
And slightly turn on a humming sound.

How will you ever die,
if you refuse to even live?
I wish I followed my own advice every once in a while....
Keiri Aug 2019
Goodmorning, sings the happy delivery guy.
In such a cheerful and jolly glee.
How was your day. He asks, I don't know why.
I do not answer, it was horrible you see.

Goodafternoon, says the friendly neighbour.
In such a happy and soft content tone.
I quickly close my creaking door.
I don't get why people enter my comfort zone.

Good evening, a colleague at work had to say.
She smiled in an inviting kind matter.
Oh how would she know what's good anyway.
They're on my tongue by every letter.

Goodnight says the volunteer on the phone.
For I called the lifeline again tonight.
Good for you, finally you leave me alone!
I forgot I was the one who dialed out of fright.

What would they know what's good.
Rather push them away.
They never even understood.
And they don't listen to what I have to say.

I feel lonely, abandoned and forgotten.
In this barren, cold dark world which is rotten.

With my mind I will always be alone.
Shifted away in my bubbly comfort zone.

I will never have a delivery guy, a neighbour or a friend.
I will rather accept a most lonely, and sad end
This is how I feel every single day. I feel too emorionally unstable to lay out contacts, make and keep friends. And by the end of the day, I complain of feeling lonely. Anz being aware of this cycle, I feel foolish and little.
Keiri Jul 2019
Looping in a loop the loop.
Front to back to up to down.
Living the same life at every hoop.
Standing at the end, in my evening gown.

Walking on a walking road
Front to back to left to right.
Always guessing what's abroad.
Yet I don't want to see it at night.

Jumping with a jumping rope.
Up to down to back to forth.
Always go up with hope.
Always knowing which way is north.

Sleeping in a sleeping bag.
Side to side and nose to nose.
When our toes are playing tag.
It's how I know I always rose.

Looping in a loop the loop.
The same mistakes, the same excuses.
Is this how low I am to stoop.
Maybe it's just how he amuses.
Keiri Dec 2019
Have you ever fell
For emptiness?
Deep in the well
Of sadness...

Have you ever embraced
Loneliness?
When you never faced...
Happiness?

I've fallen deep
Deeply for you
Can you reap?
Or what do I do?
Keiri Nov 2019
Scratched my ears, licked my nose.
Hopped along, tail arose.
Fur is clean, eyes are wet.
Belly is filled, but not full yet.

Grass is green again today
Keeping my cubs at bay.
Trees are once more tall.
Hiding in the hedge, my own wall.

Strange sounds are following my tail.
Sun goes and welcomes the hail.
Food runs out, cubs are dying.
Just lost my son, by a bird flying.

There's food in a can, silver alined.
A thrilling noise, the can chined.
Lost my daughter, a man is near.
Hair in my neck rises of fear.

Last son died of the cold.
I remember last year, losing one on mold.
Snow greets the sun, spring is closing in.
I'm on the run, I stole oncemore from a bin.

My tail grabbed high, by man again.
But he's a bit different, this little man.
He's tiny and soft, and doesn't speak.
He's squishy and noisy, maybe even weak.

It must be a cub, of a human sort.
He's not just tiny, but really short.
He's wet with drool.
He looks like a fool.

I don't care, I bite him anyway.
A noise as loud as thunder, there to stay.
To think he'd let go of my tail.
Gripping firmer I can only wail.

Time passed by, in a room full of bars.
This is better however, living with the stars.
I'm always fed and clean.
No one here is mean.

I must say I was mistaken in men.
Still bite 'em, that who I am.
Passed by several times.
Seen many bars and chimes.

Until the forest meets me oncemore.
No humancub, just green's core.
A bang as loud as a roar.
In front of me, a bleeding boar.

Running from the familiar foes.
I'm not used to it, and hurt my toes.
Picked up by the tail, nearly déja vu.
By the hands of a killer, I can see him through.

He looks a lot like the cub that grew up with me.
The one I bit, scratched and still cleaned my ***.
The one I held and held me back.
Loved me, did I love enough or lack?

For him to look at me with those eyes.
A glare ready to send me to the skies.
A glare that once loved me.
A glare that once set me free.

Someone to see me as a pet.
To love me as a friend.
My throat feels wet...
This is the end.
Another W.I.P. for my mink in the neck project
Keiri Nov 2019
When in despair.
Things aren't fair.
Nobody will care.
You don't have spare.
Nothing you can bear.
Don't know how to wear,
This nervous's pair.
Waiting to aware.

And finally cuts your hair.
new me new life... again, lots of mes, lots of lives...  I happen to ***** up alot
Keiri Oct 2019
I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Leave a hundred paws unprint
Have dozens of nights awoken
Smell the singular wind

I will see the invisible, and touch the nothing
I shall be irresistable, with what you have to bring

Yours I shall become, your neck is my future
My teeth do no harm, your words are a murmur

Regardez-moi, Tu me vois!
C'est moi tu portes, ma vie, ma joy.
Pourquoi ma vie tu t'en fous pas?
Pourquoi tu choisis quoi je sera?

Regardez-moi, Tu me vois!
Alors, n'ecoute pas

C'est ma vie vous avez pris
Pas des personnes s'entendent mes cris

Qui méconnaît mes pleurs
Qui tue mes freres et soeurs?

Regardez-moi, si tu t'en fous
Je suis la vison autour ta cou.

Maar het doet je niets, je hoort me niet
Je ziet het bloed niet dat je vergiet
Je hoort en spreekt en ziet en luistert
Alle leugens die je voor me verduisterd

Je doet me pijn, weet je dat
Al is het iets dat je snel vergat

Al zie je niets als je me draagt
Al weet je niets als men je vraagt

daremonai ga watashi no gengo wo hanashimasen
demo kono ate watashi no atama ha ten ni iko

to watashi no karada ha anata no issho ni aru darou.
shin ha kowai deshou.

Watashi ha anata no fuku koto ni naranai.
Dakara sore koto ni kawatte shimasu kudasai

Shin ha totemo kowai desu.

Spreche die sprache der toten
Wer hat mich leben angeboten
Von mirh zu stelen?
Ist Daß nicht elend?

neden beni seviyorsun musun?
beni öldürüyorsun
Şans sen veriyorum
sevgi giyebilirsin musun?
beni öldürmüyorsan

For I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Look at me. you see me!
Even though you lie to me
I refuse to be yours!

Speak the language of the dead
You can't wear love to **** it.
I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Leave a hundred paws unprint
Have dozens of nights awoken
Smell the singular wind
I will see the invisible, and touch the nothing
I shall be irresistable, with what you have to bring
Yours I shall become, your neck is my future
My teeth do no harm, your words are a murmur
French part:
Look at me, you see me!
It's me you wear, my life, my joy.
Why don't you care about me?
Why do you choose who I'll become?
Look at me, you see me!
Yet, you don't listen.
It's my life you took,
and nobody hears me cry.
Who will ignore my tears,
who killed my brothers and sisters?
Look at me, even if you don’t care
I am the mink in your neck
Dutch part:
But you don’t care, you don’t listen
You can’t aknowledge the blood you spilled
You hear and speak and see and listen
Only the lies that you kept in the dark for me
You are hurting me, did you know?
Even though you forgot it just so.
Even though you can’t see, if you wear me.
Even though you can’t answer when we plead.
Japanese part:
Nobody speaks my words
But I turn my head to the heavens
And my body will stay with you
Death fears me
I refuse to become your clothing
So please, do something
German part:
Speak the language of the dead
Who offered me this life?
To steal from me?
Isn’t that just miserable?
Turkish part:
Why do you love me?
If you are killing me?
I will give you a chance, but
Is love something you can wear?
Only, if you don’t **** me for it!
For I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Look at me. you see me!
Even though you lie to me
I refuse to be yours!
Speak the language of the dead
You can't wear love to **** it.
Keiri Aug 2019
Look at me in the mirror.
Help me see a little clearer.
Draw me just a little nearer.
Like me a bit more dearer.

Look at me and love me.
Love who I want to be.
Just squeeze your eyes and try to see.
The unnoticable beauty.

But it's no use.
The girl in the mirror dissaproves anyway.
How can one love someone who cannot love oneself.
Keiri Aug 2019
Softly but gracely he fell.
Out of the skies as dark as it's deep.
In an awe I do dwell.
Nearly doubting if I were asleep.

In a wonderful place with a beautiful scene.
He stands tall yet unharmed still standing.
From the lengths he had come, tired he leaned.
And no proof of such a brutal landing.

His wings are dusty and the feathers fell off.
He did not at all seem weary or confused.
As if falling so high isn't that rough.
As if he was but merely amused.

He stands there proud and aloof.
Showing us humans how idiotic we seem.
He who knows all, brings us proof.
That he is almighty, soaring the skies like a dream.

And as he stands and walks on by.
While I leer him with open arms.
He does not budge and points to the sky.
Up he goes soaring over the farms.

With a gleam of the morning sun on his back.
His feathers most reflective over the cloud.
The white dove easly watches me over his neck.
While lifting of back on to the south.
Keiri Aug 2019
I'm a child and adult.
I don't see it as an insult.

I'm a girl and a boy.
I'm a tool and you're my toy.

I'm kind and sadistic.
You would see me sick.

I'm real and I'm fake.
I always lie for my sake.

I'm vage and I'm raw.
I never tell what I saw.

I'm positively a pessimist.
I'm the worst on your list.

I'm a prisoner of the free.
And I will never see.
Keiri Jul 2019
5-7-5 Haiku version:

Boku no haru,
de tenki ha ii desu,
hajimashou ka?

(Eng:
My summer
Where the weather is good
Let us finally begin?)

5-7-5-7-7 Tanka version:

Boku no haru
de tenki ha ii desu,
hajimashou ka?

Hana o sakimasu.
Mitteru yo, hayaku!

(My summer
Where the weather is good
Let us finally begin?

The flowers bloom
Come see this, quick!)
Haiku are poems with specific syllable rules (as said 5 syllables, then 7, then 5) Tanka are more recent and appearantly popular versions of Haiku where the original poem (5-7-5) gets an adaptation (7-7) usually you add this part yourself, but trends start where other poets add this adaptation. Want to give me your version on it?
Keiri Jul 2020
My life erupted out of manipulatism
My hands taught to be open
How I've lived through toxism
Only to think it's over

How I've learned to rely
And never questioned my methods
Not realised it was a lie
Blinded by the facts

I wish I could say it was different
This time I don't depend
It was all just a front
A message more to be sent

Only you could be real
Only you could stay with me
I cynically sniff at this deal
Only I decide what to be
Keiri Aug 2019
Crease your fears and unfold your trust.
Wake up from your endless rust.
Believe in me and so you must,
See the green within the dust.

Start over, create a new begin.
Don't throw your past in the trash bin.
Don't see your paper as a great sin.
Try to stick the good within.

Fold and fold until you shape.
A fair sheet with a neat gape.
All your good marked by tape.
Let all your worries ease and escape.

It is now ready to be seen.
And you should be very keen.
This is how you should have been.
If only you weren't so terribly green.

A flower made by your own hands.
If only you gave it a chance.
abstract poem where origami images the way I have been dealing my life.
Keiri Aug 2019
Set up my goals to change my living.
Reaching to the stars to get me on my feet.
Never ever reach the end of my bidding.
Try to only go outside when I'm neat.

Don't give up fighting, don't ever get tired.
I'll never stop once I began.
But your energy does expire.
I never will be better than I am.

Depression is not an illness, not a disease as catched by the flu.
It's a curse that haunts people like me and you.

Depression does not rest, it makes me feel like I do.
Never have the power to do something new.

Simple things are hard, no matter how much you tried or knew.
I have to allow myself again and fix the darkness that grew.

I will never be perfect, but neither are you.
Perfect imperfection, only that is true.

I like who I am, I like what I want to try too.
After all this time I asked myself, what am I, and who?

Set up the stars for my own perfect night.
Reach out the skies in this beautiful evening.
Grow until you grow within your own light.
Be happy who you are, grow, love, hate and sing.

It's okay to rest, you don't always have to fight.
It's not a shame to walk around with such a blurry sight.
If I don't reach it, that means it's an impossible height.
I like me, and you like you, with all our might.

Don't let your life overcome by fright.
Don't ever let the darkness in your night.
Enjoy your life, in every single light.
That is true, perfect imperfection is always right.
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