Stop over thinking it.

Stop analyzing each
and every doubt
that crosses your mind.
Forget about the
hesitations that linger
with every word.
They are nothings.
They are irrelevant -
minor technicalities;
balanced by society
but can they be
dismissed by love?

I know I am a failure.
As I cannot, for one second,
forget these minor technicalities
theses irrelevant maybes.
They weigh down every kiss
every look and every smirk
Nestled in the back of my mind,
I cannot stop,
I cannot forget.
I cannot overlook society.
I can merely hope that you will have the
courage to do so enough for the both of us
to be happy.

I didn't ask for this.
This was not my plan
Nor my intentions.
But some things
Just cannot be stopped.
Often, I find,
You fall into them -
These somethings.
Stumbling blindly,
Forward, into
Unexpected chaos
Or order, whichever.
It was accidental,
This thing I found.
I wasn't looking
But it rushed to find me.
And here I am,
Missing you.

I'm too ashamed of what I feel to utter the words aloud
So I smother the feelings and bury the hope
In hopes that you'll be okay.

words exploding
for only you to read

thoughts and worries enveloping
that only I can see

I wonder
do you ever read them

do you ever wonder?

Write a poem
for Monday
no more than 15 words
It doesn't have to rhyme

I see how broken you've been
I can tell that you have fallen
Pieces of your heart are scattered
amongst the women that you've loved
and lost
And yet, here I am, with open arms
asking you to trust me
Let me pick up the pieces, I'm waiting for you
Just say the word, tell me you want it
you need it
I know you do, I can see it in your cracked smile
Those eyes are oceans of stories that I am
dying to hear, I'm dying to care
So I will wait.
I can wait until the next one walks away,
as did the one before and the one before
and I will watch as they walk all over your
fragile heart.
Give yourself to me and I promise not to leave
I want to be your queen and I want to see you shine
brighter than any moon they'll ever see,
you will rise and you will blossom
and I will love you
and I will love you
and I will love you.
So please,
just let me love you.

I know we aren't "meant to be"
we never were.
and still
I search for you in everyone I see.

so sick of wasting words
on these formalities

honesty and truth is
I'll never be the same again

please never leave my side.

sometimes I write poems about emotions
that I have no first-hand experience with
simply because I can sympathize with how they may feel
to you
or you
or you
I can understand how your stomach can turn and twist and sink
how you can despise yourself will all of your being
and cry in silence because of something I can't hear
In hopes that some of you can understand what it might feel like
for me
or him
or her
Empathy is so rare today, that all I can search for, is sincerity in strangers
and how lucky I am to have found a stranger to love, a lover to understand
and how lucky you could be if you found empathy in strangers
and if strangers could understand it all.

Rolling over in the waves of white sheets
I find you, swimming in this ocean of
messy hair and searching fingers.
Mine find yours and we intertwine,
as close as we can come to one,
we merge.
Wrestling with these feelings and
urging to be closer than this close,
You pull me onto you and I melt.
Your strong hands wandering,
desperate for me.
Two people matched more perfectly
is impossible.
Two become one and one is all we need.

I think about the number of faces I see each day
and the number of faces I forget.
and the number of strangers who see my face each day
and the number of strangers who forget me.

I think about how easy it is to literally just pass by
and how many people live their lives simply
passing by one another, passing one after another
and how many people forget and how many remember.

I think about how many faces there are in this world
and how many faces I can sincerely say I know

get out
run fast
time is not your friend

lay your head, my darling.
sink deep into the down fillings
and listen to the moments pacing by.
as they slow to match your steady heart rate, you shall become
one with the clouds.
trickles of dreams will welcome you into your subconscious -
where reality may fall to pieces and the worries of the day
will perish.
sprout wings, sweet dreamer.
soar to the furthest corners of your imagination.
find peace.
swim with the stars and collect all of your wishes. count the red ones and the blue ones and the yellow ones and the green ones, for I have sent prayers to each one in hopes for your sweet return.

Every responsibility
is an opportunity to prove
that you are
exceptional.
Take every assignment
as a chance to prove
to the whole world
that you are
one of a kind.
You were born you,
you were born to be you
and you are here to be the best you
that you can be.

a vow for no more love poems
no more searching for you in song lyrics
never again will I fall asleep thinking of you
and if I dream of you, god help me.

I looked around this world,
unfolding before my eyes
endless layers of wonderment
one by one, drawing back the curtains of reality,
revealing the the
magic
of my dreams.
Golden ideas scatter the parks like
Autumns past, blossoming in early Spring
I looked around this world,
invisible to all eyes but mine
and realized
it was all just
w h i t e  s p a c e

high off their heels
their pills
their *******

collapsed in his arms
his gifts
his lies

lost in the parking lot
the shopping mall
the mortgage

I honestly believe
that I would be
a much better person if i were
c o n s t a n t l y
slightly drunk.
Because alcohol
is honesty,
really.
I would rather be semi-unconscious
and honest
than ignorant and sober.
Sobriety is holding back
stifling our opinions with politeness
Politically-correctness
Anguish.

My grandmother always says that
boredom is for boring people
So next time you spit
"I'm bored"
think about who you are.

"You are
my shining star,
and I hope that you never fade out of
my life.
All my love, "

I hope one day
many years from now
you find this website
you find my poetry
you remember all these
******* Love Stories
you wrote me
and I hope you see how broken I am
how lonely I am
because you said forever and always
then left.
Sincerely yours,

"Thank you for a wonderful day
I'm sorry I couldn't spend the night. I'll come pick
you up for lunch tomorrow.
Sleep sweet, Angel
Love,"

"Good morning, Gorgeous,
Remember to love everyone today
Especially me!
Yours Truly,"

daddy's little girl
forever by his side
sitting on his shoulders
she's so incredibly high

ribbons in her curls
with rosy cheeks to match
so giddy and playful
with daddy, playing catch

she's sweet sixteen today
diamonds round her neck
surrounded by friends and
daddy, trying so hard to protect

graduation day is big
medal and diploma in hand
she steps onto the stage
and winks at her old man

that ring around her finger
as golden as her heart
will never replace the love he has
for baby daughter jas

like the first sip of a scolding hot tea
you get used to it, you learn to enjoy
the sting of the frosted white winter
for a while, at least
but soon enough, crisp turns to cold
cold air, cold parks, cold house.
the warmth of his heart
I once knew, so well,
has left to let me freeze
shivering in the lack of
shared body heat
cold hands, cold feet, cold heart.
so I bundle up in strangers arms,
praying to find warmth   in
something else
failing to find warmth    in
anything else


You left me **cold

leave your wrinkled white t-shirts scattered on my bedroom floor.

leave your scent and your records and all your rough edges.

abandon your heavy breath in between my bed sheets,
an eyelash and your hand-written notes and your self-esteem.

leave the curve of your lips on the edge of my desk,
along with your pen and your empty cigarettes.

leave all of you behind for me to swallow and choke on.
leave it all, for the moment that I begin to miss you.

oh, and please do not forget to leave me
your spark and your spectral light.

There are so many poems out there
so many **** poems about the same
**** thing.
It makes me sick to my stomach
thinking about all these ******* poems
and ******* poets
sitting around on their *****
pouring their feelings onto a page
that no body gives a **** about.
Suckers.
It's a suckers game, really.
What poor, pathetic poets we all are.
Sitting around on our ******* ***** writing stupid poetry
for no one but ourselves.
Well I'll tell you something -
if you like this stupid ******* poem,
I'm sure I'll like your stupid ******* poem.

Yours truly.

Running freely through an
open field of daisies
She leaped and rose and soared
and she flew.
Outstretched arms that grew into wings,
she ****** every last bit of gas
from those stars in the night sky.
She was finally alive.
And suddenly, as she inhaled her last fiery breath,
she crashed.
Falling heavily, suddenly, faster than she had ever risen,
she fell through the clouds that she once had danced with.
And as she saw the daisies falling with her,
she collided with the depths of Hell.

You know that moment,
that brutally honest and crushing moment,
when you realize
you have absolutely no idea
where you stand?
You know that moment,
when your heart sinks deep into your chest
and you realize
you are lost?
That moment when you begin to question
everything he's ever said
and you wonder
what am I,
to you?

And yet, you find yourself speechless
over and over again.
You stifle all of the gnawing questions,
time and time again,
waiting for the perfect time
that you know will never come.
You find yourself resisting the urge to simply ask,
because you are too afraid to hear
the answer.
What happens when there are too many
unspoken worries and unanswered questions
that you cannot go on.
Will you know?
Will you realize that there is no perfect time
because is there is no good time to ask?
That your questions all have inevitable answers
but that one tiny speck of hope keeps overcoming
the brutally honest and crushing realization
that the answer is no where.

Do you ask anyway?

I've noticed
a tingling sensation
a slight blur of vision
and a simplistic way of
looking at things.

I've come to terms
with the fact that a glass of wine
a day keeps the monsters away
and a few more will send them
running.

So buy me a bottle
of your cheapest Pinot Grigio
then ask me about my problems
and I'll gladly spill them out for you.

the world woke up silent today.
no whispers on the pavement, nor
a whistle of wind between branches.
even the train rolled by in silence.
it's like the entire world had been hushed by the
snowfall.

So you've found my hidden treasure chest
of all my buried fantasies.
All my secrets and my dreams.
I hope you can relate
to honesty this pure.

I watch the water tumble into my class, swirling and rocking
You're speaking but I can't understand a word that's coming out
Like wind on a beach, their meanings are lost
I'm drowning with every syllable
like the waves you made in my glass of water.

I feel like a fish
out of water

Or a bird
in the sea

I'm certain
I'm drowning

In a place
I was never meant to be.

what a funny concept
learning life through the teachings of others

who are you to teach
me about your interests

who are you to tell me
to buy your book and memorize it.

who the **** are you
to test me on it.

school is not my forté
nor should it be yours

because school is for the weak
I learn through experience.

not mid-terms.

nothing quite like it
so crisp and pure
angelic, almost.

sent from the heavens
drifting every so slowly
white solitude.

there's no way that anybody else in world feels the way I do. I love you more than anyone could possibly love anyone else. our love is special and original and better than anyone else's. we're so in love and it's so magical and this is our world. everyone else is just living in it

you were last night's essence
captured in between the sheets

she's moved on, and I feel sorry
that you have to watch her love
and be loved by another
she thought you were the most
amazing boy
in the world and if she could pick
one boy
in the world she would have picked
you.
but sadly, you are just another part of her past
more and more faded each day, with every sunset
and someday, she will find him
the one she deserves
and he will see that she is the most
amazing girl
in the world and that you should have picked
her
when you had the chance.

You stupid girl.
What did you expect?

The ground stutters,
it cracks
leaving me shuttered,
shaken, lost and
trapped.
My grasp
is sturdy, no more
The ground leaves me with
nothing to save me
I'm falling
faster than I ever could have
imagined, I'm falling
more striking than a bolt
of lightening
I'm falling
head over heels, I speed
down into the cracks of
the Earth, deep down
into the core,
the burning sensation of
molten lava,
I'm falling, into this
burning cavern
of liquid hell
Untamed and unstoppable
I've fallen.

inferior
insignificant
petty
small
naive
stupid
annoyed
angry
dis­appointed
nervous
anxious
deceived
lonely
betrayed
fooled
manipul­ated
lost
confused
broken.

I've packed my suitcase of memories and tossed it out the window
this is no longer a part of me.
I've accepted your words, your reasons and your absence
you are no longer a part of me.
The right side of the bed is now just an extension of the left,
this is not where you belong.
Your clothes are gathered and in the mail
they too have forgotten your scent.
I have carved out the thoughts that once consumed my mind
and I have long overcome the heartbreak.
You are just you
and I, just I.
We are each others' pasts, left behind in a brown paper package of dreams and night terrors.

remember all those words I wrote
begging you to look my way,
to open up and let me catch you.
I remember thinking how I just
had to have you or I'd die
but death would be a promise
cause I never thought you'd fall.
Then all the sudden, in a moments notice
We were falling
though galaxies and shooting stars
so incredibly fast and so incredibly hard
and now I can honestly tell you
how much I love to hear you tell me
how much you love me.

two cars stuck in
traffic turning
left blinking in
opposite harmony
in time with the
beating hearts of
fellow hurried
drivers at rush
hour in the heart
of the city just get
me home to my
bed alone where
I can mope until
dinner comes a
calling caught that
yellow light I'm
finally on my
way and there it
is again that
******
yellow
light.

I can't
breathe and my palms are sweaty and my
legs have gone numb but I can see my knees
trembling and I can feel my cheeks getting
hot as the blood in my veins pours into my
sterile heart and back out into my stream of
unconsciousness and I'm screaming but the
noise just won't come out and I'm screaming and
I'm screaming and I'm screaming but I'm silent.

isn't it funny how I laugh so
hysterically and that the harder I
laugh and the longer I smile
the louder I can hear myself crying inside

isn't it silly that I wear this much
makeup and heels this high but
when I wipe it all off and take it all
down I am merely just plain

isn't it crazy that I do all of these things
because society has told me that I
have to and I want to and I need to if
I want to be adored and I do

isn't it frightful that secretly
I hate myself for conforming to
their guidelines but I love myself for
being so ******* adored