The Receptionist's counter is too close to the forever waiting room. The Nexts are trying their patient penances; Some seem to read; Others appear to listen to the television; There's no dialogue, Except for the Dr.'s assistant, And, the Receptionist. Any conversation would be idle, and not heard anyway. They sit on pins, listening for their names. Super Tuesday held no kryptonite for Super Joe, remarked the talking head.
The Dr. will see you in three years. I fist pump and spin to leave, Seeing a blur of corralled, bowed, preoccupied heads. A frail face lifted up, and smiled for me. Happy for me. Truly the best medicine.
It’s not nice to meet you. You’re just another one.
Another one what? That’s ok, I’m just glad you came.
Another person to promise me things Another person to let me down. I didn’t want to.
I know you didn’t want to. I’m sorry people have let you down. I can’t promise I won’t. I’ll do my best.
You want to know my life story I have to repeat it again. When will this stop. I hate you.
No, you tell me what you want. What do you need now? You can hate me. But I don’t hate you.
I don’t want to take the pills. They make my head foggy. I need to sleep. I need food. I’m hungry. Why don’t you hate me. Everyone else does.
Who is everyone? I think you are very brave. Why don’t you sleep then? You are safe here.
Brave. How am I brave? People are watching me. I can’t sleep. Not safe.
Because you asked for help. You are safe. I’m watching you yes. To keep you safe. Here’s a sandwich. Eat. Then sleep. Are you cold?
I don’t want to. You don’t get it. I haven’t eaten for days. You are nice. Not cold. But I haven’t showered for days.
Well shower. That’s your room. I don’t get it. You are right But I know you are exhausted. Here are some clean clothes. You are going to be ok. I promise
How do you know it’s going to be ok? I am so tired. Will you watch me all night. I’m scared.
I know you are. I’ll be here all night. Lay down now. Tomorrow will be better. It will get better. You will get better.
I don’t hate you. The sand which was good. If you say so, I hope so. Goodnight.
Sleep well, goodnight.
Was just thinking of a conversation I once had with a patient who self presented. As a mental health nurse, its a conversation of many people on their first night in a mental health unit. So scared and lonely. If only we could show them their last day there so they could see that it wasn’t the end for them. Anyways, just a random thing.
i do no looking for any thing ... do no desiring anyone ... i just seeking ... for the light ... the light from your eyes .. which it my medicine and cure ... just only you ... whom i only need ... because you are ... my passion ... my only love ... since i knew the love ... and i knew it only ... from you and with you ...
sweetheart ... i am the patient patient of love ... ill and so sick ... yes i am so sick to your love ... and you are the only .. who cure me ... while no one can cure me ... because i fell so crazy to you ...
would you give me my medicine ... from your heart ... would you babe ... give me the love ... through a kiss's love ...
Time is stagnant I have tried pushing all the buttons
It hasn't changed for all my efforts - this period tiresome
Gray skies Not a drop of rain Not a hint of the sun
This life is too overwhelming I'm ready for the next one
Exploring the psyche of a mind diseased by depression. The individual thinks he/she is inside a video game that isn't playing out to their liking and he/she wants it to end and retry with a spare "life"
The Scottish woman moaned about the medication being late and the Asian woman rocked back and forth on the armchair with a bone looking grip looped in her hair.
You were standing with me by the large window gazing out at the trees and fields covered in snow.
You touched my hand with yours and I sensed the roughness of the bandage around your wrist where you had cut it and few days before and the tubby nurse found you sitting on the floor watching the blood flow out and the nurse screamed at you something she wasn't meant to do.
"Wish I was out there" you said "lying there like some lone soldier deep in snow waiting for death and what a way to go."