Here we go again
Killing over the color of the skin
We are less evolved than the ape
We pillage plunder and even ****
Doesn't mankind understand we're all kin
Despite the color of our skin
Or who we love, or who we ****
With ignorance we are severely struck
Remove the scales from off your eye
Before they drop the bomb and we ALL die

I got your lovely flowers today
I watched as you knelt and swept the leaves away
I watched you cry as you laid them down
You stayed knelt there on the ground
For awail your soft crying was the only sound

Then you started talking, telling me you was sorry
But I didn't need your apology
I understood you couldn't come around more often
I loved when you found the time to stop in
It's ok we didn't spend more time togeather, life got in the way
I still love you even now, today

Don't want your tears
I know the future you fear
You think with the passing years
That I wont be near
But I promise my child, I will be
Just look you'll see

I'll be in the wind that moves the hair from your face
I'll be the flame that warms you in the fireplace
I'll be the rain that kisses your lips
I'll be the light when the darkness grips
I'll be that soft whisper in your ear
I'll do all I can to let you know I'm near
When your sad with eyes cast down
I'll leave you feathers and pennies to be found

My child you don't need to leave your flowers
Or to set here and cry and cower
For all that remains in the grave is my bones
I'm everywhere you roam
So dry your eyes my sweet child, lets go home

I want to take a razor and slice myself into
You'll just stand and watch, there's nothing you can do
I'll make it right down the middle, so I can show you my heart
Then you can see I had one, it just came all apart

I knew a guy
He seems so very shy
It goes unspoken
His heart was broken
His spirit crushed
His thoughts were rushed
Remembering all she said
He put the gun to his head
To pull the trigger
Would make her the killer
Or so he thought
But with that shot
He couldn't see
It would set her free
But hit me
Now I will have to die
Just to say goodbye

My hopes was flying way to high
Way up there in the bright blue sky
For just a moment I forgot
This is not where my train stops

I forgot my sky's are gray
I forgot only sadness finds it's way
Through sorrow's mist
It was something I had dismissed

Just for a moment my thoughts ran away
Just for a minute I let them stray
Thinking plans would all work out
That bucking horse, I wouldn't have to mount

I let them float way to far
Past the clouds, past the stars
So this is all my fault
I put the horse behind the cart

The rope was cut
The dream got bent
This smile I only rent
Happiness for me was never ment

©Pauline Russell

Some people see me as a zero
But I'm a ******* hero

Everyday I survive
What would make other want to take a swan dive
Off the brige on 65

Everyday I survive
What would eat others up alive
In the chaos I thrive

Yes some people conceder that I'm a ******* zero
They can't see behind the mask that I'm a complicated hero

Everyday is a boulder
I must climb over
it all leaves me a little colder

Everyday is a boulder
Ment to roll me over
My life's a **** rollercoaster

Some people need to reconsider what makes someone a zero
Because everyday I fight to the end, plainly makes me a hero

I'm an awful person
To all this should be plain
No matter how hard I try
All I cause is pain
Nothing is ever your fault
It's always mine
You expect me to be normal
But the cracks are easy to find
I'm at a lost
Every move I make is wrong
Every thought I have is twisted
My existence has been to long
Why must it be this way
I try my best, I swear I do
But it always falls apart
I wish my spirt had already departed, I wish it had already flew

I'm done for the day
What else can I say
I no longer want to play
Emotions starting to sway
My mask flew away

Leave me alone
I just want to go home
There's nowhere to roam
I'm turning off my phone
Gonna Lie down tired bones

I'm done for the day
Thoughts in disarray
They never obey
It's a feeling of dismay
Being life's proverbial prey

©Pauline Russell

I was here but now I'm gone
No one needs to hear my sad sappy song
Of a life that's been so wrong
Gonna put an end to it, it's been to long

I always miss you, until your here.
Then I just want you to disappear
When your gone I dream about the good times we had
But when you come around, you just bring out the bad
So go away so my heart can miss you, please don't stay
I just so want you to go away
But in my mind, times with you are marvelous
And your always romantic, and spontaneous
When your actually here in my life
Your words just cut me like a knife

I'm not scared of the water, I'm scared of the river
I've seen what it can deliver

I'm not scared of being alone, I'm scared of being lonely
I have never been someone's one and only

I'm not scared of losing faith, I'm scared of losing hope
With out it I could not cope

I'm not scared of the anger, I'm scared of the rage
I keep it locked up tight in a cage

I'm not scared of pain, I'm scared of agony
In my life there has been to much tragedy

I'm not scared of hell, I'm scared of the fire
Look at all the sins I've acquired

I'm not scared of God, I'm scared of his wrath
He's always beating me over the head with his staff

I stand here covered in all my sin
(But what am I to do)
Please just take a look again
(I'm right in front of you)
No way I can make amends
(please open your eyes wide)
Wish you could feel where I've been
(anger is only my disguise)
Under the weight of this pain
(my angry words I threw)
The things I did were not sane
(the distance between us grew)
At times I'm still disarranged
(Fighting , I'm only human too)

I'm so very sorry, I know what I did was wrong
I'm so very sorry, I know I can be  headstrong
I hope you forgive me, but either way we must both carry on
If I'm not in your life's journey, may you feel my love is strong

©Pauline Russell

Tears are stinging behind my eyes
As I try to hold them within
No one will know why
Until it is to late
To late to even count them
For soon there will be way to many
I can't even say why they are there
But soon everyone will know why
And then like me they will try to hold them back
But it will be to late
As many will stand at that flood gate
As we try to let the tears wash away the pain
But it never will
They never do
The pain that is about to be created
Will resonate for years and years to come
And all I can do is stand and watch
And brace for impact

Useless memories that only makes me bleed
I'm about to give up, about to coincide
Lifes a joke and I'm the punch line
I'm on the wheel of time
Spinning around throwing sparks in the grind
Knowing full well things will never be fine
I never was something
About to become nothing

Useless memories that only makes me bleed
I'm about to give up, about to coincide
Lifes a joke and I'm the punch line
I'm on the wheel of time
Spinning around throwing sparks in the grind
Knowing full well things will never be fine
I never was something
About to become nothing

I'm trying to break the norm
I'm trying to break through the storm
I'm trying to discard the dread
I'm trying to find happiness instead
I'm trying to escape the doom
I'm trying to save what it consumes

Try though I might, I'm failing
Try though I might in my bailing
Try though I might, my ships not sailing
Try though I might it's hard to keep caring
Try though I might, I keep on sinking
Try though I might I keep on weeping

Maybe I should just let go
Maybe there is something I don't know
Maybe I should let things be
Maybe there's something I can't see
Maybe things will be just fine
Maybe this is my sublime

Maybe things won't get much worse
Maybe I really don't live under a curse
Maybe this sadness is my way
Maybe I'm supposed to fight for each day
Maybe I'm supposed to live with catastrophe being the norm
Maybe I'm supposed to dance in the storms

Sitting in her empty room she took another long drink from the bottle of whisky
She knew drinking alone for her was quit risky
But she was far beyond caring, far beyond giving a ****
She thinks back on her life, she could see it was all a sham
No one looking in could see
Her life lay among the debris
Of what should of been but as time had showed would never be
Pure agony in diffrent degrees

She looks around her room in the closest hung her clothes
Most of them for work, thats the only place she goes
The stereo on a table
The music is her escape when she is able
In the corner the tv
She stares at but what's playing she rarely sees
Her big comfy bed with lots of pillows
Where alone she cries and bellows

Yes at a quick glance it all looks normal, but take a closer look
It's easy to see like all the stacks of books
On the walls nothing hangs
They are blank, there plain
No posters, not one pictures, no happy memories to look back on
Yes look close enough you can see something is all wrong

She's finally had enough liquid courage
To finally end all her troubles and worries
She goes to her closest reaches up on the top shelf
Takes down her revolver and clutches it to herself

With shaking hands she retrieves the bullets from the dresser drawer
Every inch of the barrel her fingers explore
She loads one bullet into the camber, clicks it back and spins it
She's going to let the Gods and fate decide if she is fit

She raises the cold unfeeling gun to her temple
Her hand is now steed not even a tremble
Very slowly she pulls the trigger
Stopping she didn't even consider

No one heard the boom
That resounded inside that lonely room
Over was all of her agonizing delirium
She didn't feel any pain as that bullet tore through her cranium
Her walls are no longer pitifully plain
They are now beautifully painted with her blood and her brain

If you ever wake up in a hug yourself jacket
Dress in all white, feeling like a maggot
Don't worry about the fall
The room will be padded after all

The bright light will not let you hide
You'll have wished you'd of died
As they **** and they poke
And your anger they'll provoke

So they can hook you up and electrify your mind
So you can forget the memories they find
There will be no more dark clouds
They will no longer be allowed

Inside your cranium
Their will be no more delirium
Take the little pills they give
They say you need them to live

They will have hollowed you out
No more need to shout
Because once you where a dark horse
Now They made you into a living corpse

You can not see because of the light
It is way to bright
Let the darkness soothe your sight
Relaxe, stop your fight
Let the darkness end your blight
Welcome in the coming night
Make you forget the worlds snakebite
That left you feeling so contrite
In the darkness your fears you can smite
Let the darkness lift you upright
Find your wings and take flight
Then you will be able to indite
And sing through the skys like a meteorite

You can not see because of the light
It is way to bright
Let the darkness soothe your sight
Relaxe, stop your fight
Let the darkness end your blight
Welcome in the coming night
Make you forget the worlds snakebite
That left you feeling so contrite
In the darkness your fears you can smite
Let the darkness left you upright
Find your wings and take flight
Then you will be able to indite
And sing through the skys like a meteorite

I don't need sympathy, I don't need pitty
I need some answer that are witty
This darkness is about the here and now
Problems seem to stalk and prowl
I don't know what to do
But to continue on till the day is through
But every day new problems arise
I lift my eyes up to the sky
I want to stand infront of God's throne
Whisper I know I'm nothing but a dog, but could you throw me a bone
Instead of releasing the hounds of hell
That come and munch on my fragile shell
I march through the day like a war weary soldier
Constantly looking over my shoulder
As new problems hunt me down
Throw me into the water watch me drown
To tired to fight the current
But here I am all burnt
Thrown into the fire once again
My soul will never mend
God please today look kindly on me
I've tried to look into the light to see
But it's to dim
I feel myself slipping and giving in

I use to belive everything had a begaining and an end
infinity I did not belive in
But you my love, have changed my mind
Because our love will last beyond that time

Awake all night
Till the morning light
Touches the morning sky
Guess I'll open my shades
Thoughts in my head heavily weighed
And I'm afraid I picked up the blade
The voices in my brain did shout
Cut it out, cut it out

And so I tried
I almost died
The blade I swung
Boold it flung

But again it faild
It was all to no avail
I did all thats was curtailed
But it still derailed
And I'm still here to inhale
And it's still inside..... exhale

Slow down don't be so rushed
Soon enough your life will be hushed
Take some time to look around
There is infinite things to be found

Don't get so caught up in the day to day
That you don't take a second to break away
Just a simple small glance
To see, what you can see perchance

This universe holds infinite power
Just take a look at the smallest flower
Thin lines of color precisely placed  
Upon it's delicate tiny face

All that is required is a closer look
For experiences to open like a book
So when your feeling like your about to drown
Stop and take a closer look around
You will be amazed at what seems new
Simply from a second view

With you now gone
With no one to hold on
Emotions are mine alone
Mine to own

All alone I'll keep my secret
I know just where I'll keep it
I'll keep them in my pen, my ink
Deep into the paper I'll let it sink

This universe is so ******* cruel
Suffering here without you
You where my rock, my Dimond
Now who is all alone... Well I am

So I feverishly scratch, like cat with claw
I write it all out, big and loud on my wall
After I'm gone, maybe someone will read
Till that day my pen will still bleed

You gently hold my head and look into my eyes
I can feel you searching for what I keep deep inside
I try to shift my gaze, trying my demons and monster to hide

It doesn't work, you hold me tight
My body stiffens, I want to take flight
For what resides within me is a horrific sight

I try to keep you at a distance, I don't want you to close
I don't want to scare you away with my many ghost
It's because I like you a lot more than most

But still you insists on peering in
To see what dwells beneath my skin
I know this is the begaining of the end

For no one that sees inside, stays
It just happens to be that way
They are always scared by the gray

They don't even see the very bottom, the dark
They just leave another scar, another mark
I'm to shattered, my life to stark

I had a golden heart, that long ago was beaten and crushed
I think is was because I loved to much
All those that through my life rushed

But I don't want you to go
So please don't look into my eyes to see my soul
After all theses years it's to black, to cold
I don't want the empty void to show
I want if only for a few nights, you to hold

You gently hold my head and look into my eyes
I can feel you searching for what I keep deep inside
I try to shift my gaze, trying my demons and monster to hide

It doesn't work, you hold me tight
My body stiffens, I want to take flight
For what resides within me is a horrific sight

I try to keep you at a distance, I don't want you to close
I don't want to scare you away with my many ghost
It's because I like you a lot more than most

But still you insists on peering in
To see what dwells beneath my skin
I know this is the begaining of the end

For no one that sees inside, stays
It just happens to be that way
They are always scared by the gray

They don't even see the very bottom, the dark
They just leave another scar, another mark
I'm to shattered, my life to stark

I had a golden heart, that long ago was beaten and crushed
I think is was because I loved to much
All those that through my life rushed

But I don't want you to go
So please don't look into my eyes to see my soul
After all theses years it's to black, to cold
I don't want the empty void to show
I want if only for a few nights, you to hold

Here I am in the darkness again
Realizing it's my only friend

I just want to walk in the sun
Like I did when I was young

But that dream is dead and gone
Just like the last note of a song
It simply fell away
Into the gray

I try to convince myself I will be just fine
Here in the dark where the sun will never shine

Alone in my maddness
My terrifying sadness
In time that's so timeless
This deafening silence
That all leads to self violence

Here I am in the darkness again
Realizing it's my only friend

I just want to walk in the sun
Like I did when I was young

But that dream is dead and gone
Just like the last note of a song
It simply fell away
Into the gray

I try to convince myself I will be just fine
Here in the dark where the sun will never shine

Alone in my maddness
My terrifying sadness
In time that's so timeless
This deafening silence
That all leads to self violence

Here I am in the darkness again
Realizing it's my only friend

I just want to walk in the sun
Like I did when I was young

But that dream is dead and gone
Just like the last note of a song
It simply fell away
Into the gray

I try to convince myself I will be just fine
Here in the dark where the sun will never shine

Alone in my madness
My terrifying sadness
In time that's so timeless
This deafening silence
That all leads to self violence

I'll be greeting my own insanity
Before this this life is done with me

Can you hear them whispering
There inside my brain
Can you hear them tinkering
Trying to shake lose what is sane
Can you hear them Clamouring
There inside my mind
Can you hear them favouring
With sadness all they find
Can you hear them plotting
There inside my cranium
Can you hear them knotting
All my thoughts till thier alien
Can you hear them screaming
There inside my brain
Can you hear them scheming
They are driving me insane


The voices here inside my skull
Are always chattering, never a lull
They are bent on my destruction
At first it was a sweet seduction
Now it's a roaring wave
Trying my head to cave
I can hear them as plain as day
Can you hear them what they say
Those voices in my head
All them yelling, one thing said
They only want me dead

Can you hear them whispering
There inside my brain
Can you hear them tinkering
Trying to shake lose what is sane
Can you hear them Clamouring
There inside my mind
Can you hear them favouring
With sadness all they find
Can you hear them plotting
There inside my cranium
Can you hear them knotting
All my thoughts till thier alien
Can you hear them screaming
There inside my brain
Can you hear them scheming
They are driving me insane


The voices here inside my skull
Are always chattering, never a lull
They are bent on my destruction
At first it was a sweet seduction
Now it's a roaring wave
Trying my head to cave
I can hear them as plain as day
Can you hear them what they say
Those voices in my head
All them yelling, one thing said
They only want me dead

If you ever wake up in a hug yourself jacket
Dress in all white, feeling like a maggot
Don't worry about the fall
The room will be padded after all

The bright light will not let you hide
You'll have wished you'd of died
As they **** and they poke
And your anger they'll provoke

So they can hook you up and electrify your mind
So you can forget the memories they find
There will be no more dark clouds
They will no longer be allowed

Inside your cranium
Their will be no more delirium
Take the little pills they give
They say you need them to live

They will have hollowed you out
No more need to shout
Because once you where a dark horse
Now They made you into a living corpse

In the hole
Only the darkest of thoughts flow
In the hole
Only the worse scenarios go
In the hole
Only the coldest winds blow
In the hole
Only the demons patrol
In the hole
Is where you lose your soul

As the moon wanes on high
The night, it's silent beams defy
Shining down upon the roof tops so discreetly
The little boxes in rows snuggled so close, so neatly
The soft scent of spring wafts in the air
My mind drifts from all despair
I breathe in the moment
In it's perfection, a night made for a poet

My Demons are telling me it's ok to quit
For this putrid life my minds not fit
To their voice I'm going to submit
It will be fast, just one quick slit
Then my spirit will be free to emit
Out of this rotting soul it can split
To the next life I can then transmit
Maybe in the next one, my demons I can outwit

The rushed days are slipping by
As I ride this eagle into the sky
Circling the mountains high
Never knowing the reason why
Those of us would pay to die
As the albatross sit and cry
All I can do is stand and sigh
Knowing the end is drawing nigh

Write my name up in the sky
Let me fly way up high
Instead of always the painful cry
To lose the feeling of wanting to die

I'm tired of living in the dirt
Everything down here just hurts
With the Devil is who I flirt
He's wanting desperately for me to convert

I want my broken wings to mend
If not a smile, I at lest deserve to grin
But I've been covered in to much sin
To ever see my happy face again

All I ask is for a day
For things to simply not go array
For things to just for once go my way
If only I in my life I had a say

Just one day out of a lifetime
To simply be all in a line
For everything to be fine
For everything to fall in sink and rhyme

But if my past has taught me anything
Is there will never be a reason to sing
For the future only misery will bring
Still stuck in lifes boxing ring

I keep getting knocked down, knocked out
I keep trying different routes
After all these years all I have is doubts
To battered and bruised to get up, all I can do is shout

But just one single day, a short 24 hours
Where I don't lay in bed and cower
Just one day to bloom and flower
To escape from this locked tower

But I know thats to much to ask
I should just relax
In this darkness I will continue to bask
Just let me pull back down my mask

Write my name up in the sky
Let me fly way up high
Instead of always the painful cry
To lose the feeling of wanting to die

I'm tired of living in the dirt
Everything down here just hurts
With the Devil is who I flirt
He's wanting desperately for me to convert

I want my broken wings to mend
If not a smile, I at lest deserve to grin
But I've been covered in to much sin
To ever see my happy face again

All I ask is for a day
For things to simply not go array
For things to just for once go my way
If only I in my life I had a say

Just one day out of a lifetime
To simply be all in a line
For everything to be fine
For everything to fall in sink and rhyme

But if my past has taught me anything
Is there will never be a reason to sing
For the future only misery will bring
Still stuck in lifes boxing ring

I keep getting knocked down, knocked out
I keep trying different routes
After all these years all I have is doubts
To battered and bruised to get up, all I can do is shout

But just one single day, a short 24 hours
Where I don't lay in bed and cower
Just one day to bloom and flower
To escape from this locked tower

But I know thats to much to ask
I should just relax
In this darkness I will continue to bask
Just let me pull back down my mask.

Walk with me into the void of nothingness
There is no need to even get dressed

For there is no,when or how
There is no holy cow
There is no God or Satan
It's a fact I am stating

In the void nothing exist
It's more than just a wish
There are no demons or monsters
Nothing you can foster

There is no flesh and bone
No skill that you must hon
No beating heart to shatter
There certainly is no clatter

Only darkness surrounds you
For light is absent too
It is not cold or hot
Darkness is all it's got

The void is peace and quite
There is no need to riot
It welcomes everyone
Discrimination there is none

The void is where I am heading
This earthly body I am shedding
I've lived in the gray my whole life
I'm ready for an end to the strife

So off to the void I go
I will bring nothing in tow
It's not an end, but a winning
I'm finally at the begaining

Oh I wish I had my way
I'd stay here, forever and a day
Locked up tight in your embrace
Curled up by the fireplace
With the flames dancing off your face
Our heart's beat as one, they interlace
Such contentment I've never known
You won't admit it, but your love has grown

I can see it in your eyes
The way you linger at goodbyes
I can feel it in your lips
As you hold onto my hips
Your finger's slightly grips
There is love and passion in your kiss
This love you will not say, but I can't dismiss

I know you'll never say it
At times I want to quite
But you intoxicate me
My heart refuses to see
The catastrophe
That's gonna be

For I hide my darkness behind a smile
Hoping you look past it for awail
But I know it's inevitable
You'll find my sorrow and agony unbearable

All our good times you'll dismiss
When I sink into my black abyss
When my pain touches you with it's caress
You will run from me like all the rest

So for just this one day
Universe, let me have my way
I want this time with you to savor
So with my trusted razor
I will carve from me, normal behavior
One last time, in your eye's I wont be a failure

One last time, to lock away in my memories
How you use to look at me
Before I let you truly see
Before you take flight
Leaving me like I was before, all alone to fight

Oh I wish I had my way
I'd stay here, forever and a day
Locked up tight in your embrace
Curled up by the fireplace
With the flames dancing off your face
Our heart's beat as one, they interlace
Such contentment I've never known
You won't admit it, but your love has grown

I can see it in your eyes
The way you linger at goodbyes
I can feel it in your lips
As you hold onto my hips
Your finger's slightly grips
There is love and passion in your kiss
This love you will not say, but I can't dismiss

I know you'll never say it
At times I want to quiet
But you intoxicate me
My heart refuses to see
The catastrophe
That's gonna be

For I hide my darkness behind a smile
Hoping you look past it for awail
But I know it's inevitable
You'll find my sorrow and agony unbearable

All our good times you'll dismiss
When I sink into my black abyss
When my pain touches you with it's caress
You will run from me like all the rest

So for just this one day
Universe, let me have my way
I want this time with you to savor
So with my trusted razor
I will carve from me, normal behavior
One last time, in your eye's I wont be a failure

One last time, to lock away in my memories
How you use to look at me
Before I let you truly see
Before you take flight
Leaving me like I was before, all alone to fight

With your wicked ways you disembowled my young life
Anger, pain and confusion you made sure were rife
You opened up the gates of hell, that let those demons pour through
You poisoned all my thoughts, and the darkness is all I knew
I was to young to cope or comprehended
I paid for the wages of your sin
You left me tattered, and my soul torn
And now still there rages a battle, a constant growing sky black storm
You ****** up my mind
So I would make choices of the wrong kind
And my demon count grew
And it was all because of you!!!

I quit dying today
Because I quit trying to live
I will no longer search for happiness
So the pain of not finding it will slowly melt away
The not caring of what happens and robotic motions
Will get me through the day
This world has finally done it,
Although it's broke my heart to many times to count
This time it was my spirit that shattered into pieces
And there is no fixing that
So with vacant eyes you'll see me carry on the day
No emotion on my face
No emotion in my heart
I never got to live but.....
Today is the day I quit dying
now I'll just exist

I quit dying today
Because I quit trying to live
I will no longer search for happiness
So the pain of not finding it will slowly melt away
The not caring of what happens and robotic motions
Will get me through the day
This world has finally done it,
Although it's broke my heart to many times to count
This time it was my spirit that shattered into pieces
And there is no fixing that
So with vacant eyes you'll see me carry on the day
No emotion on my face
No emotion in my heart
I never got to live but.....
Today is the day I quit dying
now I'll just exist

Here I am again, back where I began Iron locks, rusty doors,
It doesn't matter how hard I try
The fires are fiercely fanned

Leaving only ashes, smoke always lingers
I pick myself up, dust it all off
Wonder why I bother, again and again
Sifting for fragments, with ****** bruised fingers

Why do I do it over and over, just to return
Back to the cage, I'll never escape
Breaking out for a moment, slammed back in
I'm alive but never lived, I watch my years burn

Why do I hold on to hope, I should put it all down
How can I find the pieces, so very tiny,
Over time and places, they've been scattered
Will I ever be myself again, my mind is twisted around


I'm waving the white flag, I'm calling it done
To weak to get up, no reason to be found
Leave me in my ashes, this Phoenix won't fly
Every ounce of my pain is a boulder, now buried under a ton


Just call the time of death, it's done

©Pauline Russell

I got your lovely flowers today
I watched as you knelt and swept the leaves away
I watched you cry as you laid them down
You stayed knelt there on the ground
For awail your soft crying was the only sound

Then you started talking, telling me you was sorry
But I didn't need your apology
I understood you couldn't come around more often
I loved when you found the time to stop in
It's ok we didn't spend more time togeather, life got in the way
I still love you even now, today

Don't want your tears
I know the future you fear
You think with the passing years
That I wont be near
But I promise my child, I will be
Just look you'll see

I'll be in the wind that moves the hair from your face
I'll be the flame that warms you in the fireplace
I'll be the rain that kisses your lips
I'll be the light when the darkness grips
I'll be that soft whisper in your ear
I'll do all I can to let you know I'm near
When your sad with eyes cast down
I'll leave you feathers and pennies to be found

My child you don't need to leave your flowers
Or to set here and cry and cower
For all that remains in the grave is my bones
I'm everywhere you roam
So dry your eyes my sweet child, lets go home

You can call me a Saint,  you can call me the devil
But at lest my head is on nice and level

Yours was not
It was in the wrong spot
It was leaning to one side
You where looking at me kinda snide
I got tired of you showing nothing but scoff
So I chopped it off

With your head now planted firmly on my lap
Lips no longer continually flap
I'll sit and enjoy the silence,  petting you like the Cheshire Cat
Making sure your eyes are turned, enjoy the view of where your body fell flat

Copyright: Pauline Russell   10-5-16

You said "I don't know if you think you're just a burden to me or what"

The answer there is yes, that's exactly what I fear
I've been made to feel a burden since the day I was born
But at times I feel like I'm worth so much more
That I'm not just a burden
But maybe someone to be loved, maybe even cherished
But then I think, maybe I'm really nothing at all

Maybe the universe saw I wasn't fit
Maybe in life, I deserved all of it
You have a hard time showing any feelings
In that void you leave me in, sometimes it sends my thoughts reeling
Everything gets tumbled, my words become jumbled
My actions become erratic, so not humble
It's because I fear the worst, that's exactly what I am

A Burden

©Pauline Russell