I took some pills to pass the time
Don't you worry they were mine
I took some pills to pass the day
I wanted black, was tired of the gray
I took some pills to pass away
Please dear friend don't be in dismay
I took some pills to go to the void
Don't look up what would be said by Freud
I took some pills, the deal is done
Please don't bother yourself to come
I took some pills, now I'm floating away
You'll have to look for me another day

It's on the tip of a dragons tongue
     The reason that we run
It's on the bottom of the grizzly bears paw
     The reason that we fall
It's the the sharks mouth full of razors sharp teeth
     The reason that we weep
It's in the belly of the beast
     This is where we sleep

It's time I dance among the stars
To let the firflylies out of their jars

It's time I bask in the moon lights glow
To sail that boat through the cosmic flow

It's time to let go of the heartache and sorrow
To hold tight to every tomorrow

It's time to roll with every new stumble
To not let the past make me tumble

It's time to quit holding my breath
To stop following the dance of death

It's time turn in my tickets to that show
To just let all the bad thoughts go

Yes, it's time to dance around the stars
Yes, you'll find me skinny dipping in the oceans on Mars

I'm facing down the beast
It's constant assault will never cease
It's ridged, but everything to it's will bends
Beyond this earth it transcends

It eventually leaves everything to rust and ruin
On and on it keeps on chewing
There is no stopping it, I'm only human
It's always there, always looming

In it's clutches there is nothing but change
It just loves to rearrange
Mountains it will not let stand
Oceans it will turn to sand

Every single thing, it touches and rapes
Even in the coffin there is no escape
It still munches and shapes

Dead and dying dreams, it leaves in it wake
Everything it will forsake
It's always there to leave it's mark
In the light or in the dark

So while we're here ring the bells, let them chime
While there's still a mountain, climb
After all, you can't change time

Drown my screams out with your chatter
I'm unseen, I don't matter
Please don't give me another thought
In the grip of nothingness I was caught
Day by day I slowly slipped away
As I slowly faded to gray
You never noticed, you never knew
Noting in your life was askew
Once upon a time I use to cross your mind
The best erasing is done by time
Now I'm but a gray mist,that floats before your minds eye
That before you can grasp the memory away I fly

I've given up on love
I'll stick with my drugs
I've given up on humanity
There is no remedy
I've given up on happiness
For I found it hapless

I've given into brutality
It is my new reality
I've given into sadness
This feeling is ravenous
I've given into loneliness
I just need to process

I've sunken into my darkness
Ready for the madness
I've sunken into the sticky mire
Nothing left to acquirer
I've sunken into the agony
No where left to flee

I want to lie down with you
I want to die too
I don't want to fight in this world without you by my side
I'll I can do is cry

I try to hold the agony within
So no one else can see, so it won't offend
So they won't worry, so they don't know
Just how badly with you I want to go

But tiny agonizing whimpers escape between my lips
I don't know how much longer I can  man this woeful ship
There is a hurricane in my ocean
Turbulent thoughts plunder my emotions

I can feel the sinking
I can not stop the thinking
(I should of left and followed you that same date)
(if I leave this earth now, can I catch you, or am I to late)

All I can do now is sing my woeful cry
Cuss at that unseen entity in the sky
My insides ******* in the tightest knots
Minds in a spin and so are my thoughts

Send me a message,  send me a sign
Let me in one of my note books find
Where you once wrote "love you ***"  
Should I pick up, or put down the gun
Your death was a shock unplanned
Does that mean I have to stay here and stand

Does that mean I can't intentionally follow
That I'll have to stay in this lonely abyss and wallow
You use to guide me back
When my world got to black
I was always there for you also
Now your death I must swallow

I'm feeling mighty hollow
I don't want to face an empty tomorrow
I know you're telling me to stay
But you was my light that lit my darkness and turned it gray
Now you went on without me, your so far away

My world now an ominous black
Weight of the world on my back
I want to lay it all down
Walk out into the woods and never be found

I want to lie down and hug my pillow for a minute
I want to lie down and forget the world and what is in it
I want to lie down and my crazy thoughts derail
I want to lie down and deeply just exhale
I want to lie down and close my eyes to rest
I want to lie down and feel the dark's caress
I want to lie down and forget about it all
I want to lie down and listen to that voiceless call
I want to lie down and forget these ruby laced wrist
I want to lie down and simply not exist

©Pauline Russell

foreign lands I want to roam
Where Kings and Queens sit upon their throne
And big cats prowl, and wild dogs howl
And there's every kind of fowl
Where mighty elephants trumpet
And with tea they serve crumpets
I want to see the very old creations of man
I know I'd be their biggest fan
To walk the ground that Jesus tread
And feed the masses with seven loaves of bread
I would love to see the foreign sands
To get homesick, then return again to my home land

To foreign lands I want to roam
Where Kings and Queens sit upon their throne
And big cats prowl, and wild dogs howl
And there's every kind of fowl
Where mighty elephants trumpet
And with tea they serve crumpets
I want to see the very old creations of man
I know I'd be their biggest fan
To walk the ground that Jesus tread
And feed the masses with seven loaves of bread
I would love to see the foreign sands
To get homesick and return to my home land

There's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can say
I will always and forever feel this way
So go ahead and just turn the **** away
I'm condemned for eternity to stay
In the waltz of the darkest sway

Don't look in my face, don't look in my eyes
I'm trying so hard this part of me to disguise
When you look, I want you to see butterflies
Not the tracks of pain, confusion, and a trillion tears

Please don't speak, don't ask
Way to much of my skin has tasted the razors slash
Time for a soumate,true and undying love has endless centuries ago passed
Once upon a time, in a little girls life a die was cast

The cards where dealt, the wheel spun
There would be no time in her life for fun
Her future dim, no beaming sun
Only the frenzied moves of the insane trying to keep it together, as she constantly comes undone

Like a scared little doe
You coaxed me into the field to go
You feed me every single day
All your sweet loving words it was such an array
You had me believing
You would never be leaving
Then one day with loving words still on your lips
You pulled the arrow off your hip
Pulled back your bow
Let your arrow flow
Right into my heart
But that was just the start
I didn't die
You only wanted me to cry
With every heart beat
The more I bleed
I slowly go insane
Whilst all the blood drains
And my heart again will turn to stone
I will now forever live my life alone
For you again have showen me
True love is just a fantasy
But for now I'm still bleeding out
Now all I can do is shout
To the heavens, God your so cruel
I'll just lay here and watch my blood, my love pool
I no longer belive in God, see babe you even took that too
No more hope, no more faith, no more love, you took it all, I'M THROUGH!!

Like a scared little doe
You coaxed me into the field to go
You feed me every single day
All your sweet loving words it was such an array
You had me believing
You would never be leaving
Then one day with loving words still on your lips
You pulled the arrow off your hip
Pulled back your bow
Let your arrow flow
Right into my heart
But that was just the start
I didn't die
You only wanted me to cry
With every heart beat
The more I bleed
I slowly go insane
Whilst all the blood drains
And my heart again will turn to stone
I will now forever live my life alone
For you again have showen me
True love is just a fantasy
But for now I'm still bleeding out
Now all I can do is shout
To the heavens, God your so cruel
I'll just lay here and watch my blood, my love, pool
I no longer belive in God, see babe you even took that too
No more hope, no more faith, no more love, you took it all, I'M THROUGH!!

I went to feed the birds today

I took a hike so very deep and long
Birds chirped out my favorite song
To hurry me along

I found the perfect place In this infinite universe of space
Twisted trees guard all around
Thick green moss lay luscious on the ground
Beckons me with every sound

The sun can finnally warm these bones
With the flesh all stiped away
My life of constant sorrow
Can simply fly away

I went to feed the birds today!

Even though my soul is torn
With gaping holes and edges worn
I don't give a **** anymore
No longer wanting to settle the score
It's been to long
My will is gone
I lay down my sword, I lay down my shield
What's the use in what I wield
I only wound myself, that's where my demons hide
They're ingrained deep inside
For in my brain is where they dwell
All I can do is wish them well
For in my cranium is a living hell

Even though my soul is torn
With gaping holes and edges worn
I don't give a **** anymore
No longer wanting to settle the score
It's been to long
My will is gone
I lay down my sword, I lay down my shield
What's the use in what I wield
I only wound myself, that's where my demons hide
They're ingrained deep inside
For in my brain is where they dwell
All I can do is wish them well
For in my cranium is a living hell

I'm with Jack and his brother Jim
We got together on a whim
I think I've spent to much time with them

My vision is getting blurred
I'm having problems being heard
My speech is slurred

They tasted so very good
I'd drink more of them if I could
But I don't think I should

Because walking has become a chore
The door I did expore
That's how I ended up on floor

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

Your beliefs or sin, don't affect this salvation of mine
Unless I judge you, and I am unkind

To judge another is really not your place
You never know how it feels unless you live inside their space
But maybe your just stupid, ignorant, or dumb
Please enlighten me tell me which one

Sitting on the soft floor surrounded by white
Hugging your self wither you want to or not
The light is so very, very bright
In your head your screaming stop

Because they're buzzing so loud
And it's the only **** sound
But the voices in your head are starting to crowd
In your brain they are circling and twirling around

How did I end up here
I don't remeber a thing
There is nothing at all that is clear
Did I finally snap, that one final little string

Oh those ******* lights won't they stop
My voices yell in unison, it's causing them pain
That buzzing is gonna make me blow my top
If it don't stop soon it'll dive them insane

And if the voices go nutty what will happen to me
**** it's been hours, or has it been minutes
I'm not sure, seconds it might be
I'm being pushed past my limits

Still, tho I can't see a clock
I can feel time ticking by
Or maybe it's not
I would know if I could see the sky

But that is impossible so I just rock and I sway
The buzzing has now become my back beat
I know it's been years now, or maybe just days
I can't tell this room is dripping with deceit

I know when they open that door
Drowned in my own drool
Right there on the floor
Just another crazy fool

Sitting on the soft floor surrounded by white
Hugging your self wither you want to or not
The light is so very, very bright
In your head your screaming stop

Because they're buzzing so loud
And it's the only **** sound
But the voices in your head are starting to crowd
In your brain they are circling and twirling around

How did I end up here
I don't remeber a thing
There is nothing at all that is clear
Did I finally snap, that one final little string

Oh those ******* lights won't they stop
My voices yell in unison, it's causing them pain
That buzzing is gonna make me blow my top
If it don't stop, the buzzing will dive them insane

And if they go nutty what will happen to me
**** it's been hours, or has it been minutes
I'm not sure, seconds it might be
I'm being pushed past my limits

Still, tho I can't see a clock
I can feel time ticking by
Or maybe it's not
I would know if I could see the sky

But that is impossible so I just rock and I sway
The buzzing has now become my back beat
I know it's been years now, or maybe just days
I can't tell this room is dripping with deceit

I know when they open that door
Drowned in my own drool
Right there on the floor
Just another crazy fool

Sitting on the soft floor surrounded by white
Hugging your self wither you want to or not
The light is so very, very bright
In your head your screaming stop

Because they're buzzing so loud
And it's the only **** sound
But the voices in your head are starting to crowd
In your brain they are circling and twirling around

How did I end up here
I don't remeber a thing
There is nothing at all that is clear
Did I finally snap, that one final little string

Oh those ******* lights won't they stop
My voices yell in unison, it's causing them pain
That buzzing is gonna make me blow my top
If it don't stop, the buzzing will dive them insane

And if they go nutty what will happen to me
**** it's been hours, or has it been minutes
I'm not sure, seconds it might be
I'm being pushed past my limits

Still, tho I can't see a clock
I can feel time ticking by
Or maybe it's not
I would know if I could see the sky

But that is impossible so I just rock and I sway
The buzzing has now become my back beat
I know it's been years now, or maybe just days
I can't tell this room is dripping with deceit

I know when they open that door
Drowned in my own drool
Right there on the floor
Just another crazy fool

Sitting on the soft floor surrounded by white
Hugging your self wither you want to or not
The light is so very, very bright
In your head your screaming stop

Because they're buzzing so loud
And it's the only **** sound
But the voices in your head are starting to crowd
In your brain they are circling and twirling around

How did I end up here
I don't remeber a thing
There is nothing at all that is clear
Did I finally snap, that one final little string

Oh those ******* lights won't they stop
My voices yell in unison, it's causing them pain
That buzzing is gonna make me blow my top
If it don't stop soon it'll dive them insane

And if they go nutty what will happen to me
**** it's been hours, or has it been minutes
I'm not sure, seconds it might be
I'm being pushed past my limits

Still, tho I can't see a clock
I can feel time ticking by
Or maybe it's not
I would know if I could see the sky

But that is impossible so I just rock and I sway
The buzzing has now become my back beat
I know it's been years now, or maybe just days
I can't tell this room is dripping with deceit

I know when they open that door
Drowned in my own drool
Right there on the floor
Just another crazy fool

I want to take one day
To just go out and play
To forget about the grown up ways

To run, jump and romp
Pretend I'm Godzilla and just stomp
Or be a creature from the swamp

Make mud pies let them bake in the sun
Flap my arms like a bird when I run
**** it I just want to have fun

To see the world again trough the eyes of my inner child
When everything left me so beguiled
To see things in that why,has been such a very long while

Innocence left me at age eight
Since then all I've seen is hate
On a scale my misery would be hard to rate

Is it to much to ask for just ONE day
To go out and have some fun and play
Just one single solitaire day without the gray

I don't want to do this any more
Just leave me lying on the floor
I am nothing but the goo
That's been wiped of the shoes

Of all that have tromped
Of all that have stomped

They have whittled me down
Till there is no ME to be found
Shavings lying scattered
When the northern wind battles
I'm a broken window that rattles

Into dust I've been turned
Into dust I've been burned

It's true....what humans couldn't do
Well...the universe finished through
Leaving me dangling from the noose
Refusing to ever turn me loose

It makes sure I'm in it's twist
It makes sure I'm in it's fist

Please walk away
You don't want to see the sway
For I know what tomorrow will bring
So I'll just hang here and swing

On nights like tonight
I take my knife
And whittle
Just a little
And you can make sure
It all just becomes a blur
But I am so numb
I let the blood come
I know I'll survive
I just need to know I'm alive

I keep the details dim
So on the outside looking in
Nothing is as at seems
Everything just beams
It all seems so copacetic
But it's really so pathetic
Before long I'll need a paramedic

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
All of the masses
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they all become passive

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
So they know longer have voices
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they no longer have choices

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Let them all become sheep
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till their all nice and meek

With their drug addled mind
Their own thoughts will be hard to find
Then we'll input thoughts that are ours
For we are the great and mighty powers
We will tell them we know what's best
Not just for them but all of the rest

Like Sheppards to sheep we'll guide them along
And they will continue to sing our programmed happy song

For when the world starts to come to an end
We'll keep them drugged and tell them we are their friends
For when that day comes we'll shake and we'll sift
Pick out the good ones, drive the rest off a cliff

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
All of the masses
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they all become passive

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
So they know longer have voices
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they no longer have choices

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Let them all become sheep
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till their all nice and meek

With their drug addled mind
Their own thoughts will be hard to find
Then we'll input thoughts that are ours
For we are the great and mighty powers
We will tell them we know what's best
Not just for them but all of the rest

Like Sheppards to sheep we'll guide them along
And they will continue to sing our programmed happy song

For when the world starts to come to an end
We'll keep them drugged and tell them we are their friends
For when that day comes we'll shake and we'll sift
Pick out the good ones, drive the rest off a cliff

The knights of old around the table sat
One got fat
One got high
And the other had only one eye

They went to rescue the fair maiden
They thought she needed save'n
But when they got there
They were unaware
She'd married that **** dragon
It was something hard for them to fathom

The fat one right down he sat
Not looking, and in dragon **** went splat
The high one pulled out his pipe
He didn't see why all the hype
The one with one eye started to cry
He was such a sensitive guy

The maiden ask why all the fuss
But they looked at her in disgust
Then in unison they shouted out from their armor of rust

We weren't invited to the wedding!!!!

The knights of old around the table sat
One got fat
One got high
And the other had only one eye

They went to rescue the fair maiden
They thought she needed save'n
But when they got there
They were unaware
She'd married that **** dragon
It was something hard for them to fathom

The fat one right down he sat
Not looking, and in dragon **** went splat
The high one pulled out his pipe
He didn't see why all the hype
The one with one eye started to cry
He was such a sensitive guy

The maiden ask why all the fuss
But they looked at her in disgust
Then in unison they shouted out from their armor of rust

We weren't invited to the wedding!!!!

I can't get past this swirling blackness that resides inside my brain
I can't seem to think of happy thoughts or any other thing

Onto this ugly life of mine I'm holding on so tight
My hands are cramping, my knuckles are turning white

I'm not sure why I am, the light went out years ago
On this darkened sea of emotion, I just flow

I no longer want to feel the tide, or the waves that take me under
The storm persist above me, the lightening and the thunder

I've tried to row this boat of sorrow to the shore
But it didn't work at all, it just so refused to go

I think tonight instead of rowing, I'll just drill a hole
tonight this is my goal

I'm gonna visit Davy Jones down there in his locker
I know to many that will be no shocker

I can't get past this swirling blackness that resides inside my brain
I can't seem to think of happy thoughts or any other thing

Onto this ugly life of mine I'm holding on so tight
My hands are cramping, my knuckles are turning white

I'm not sure why I am, the light went out years ago
On this darkened sea of emotion, I just flow

I no longer want to feel the tide, or the waves that take me under
The storm persist above me, the lightening and the thunder

I've tried to row this boat of sorrow to the shore
But it didn't work at all, it just so refused to go

I think tonight instead of rowing, I'll just drill a hole
tonight this is my goal

I'm gonna visit Davy Jones down there in his locker
I know to many that will be no shocker

Oh Dear sweet vengeful God
Over this rocky earth I have trod
Please take me from this land of Nod

My body's old and I'm bone weary
This life you gave me was so dark and dreary
The depravity of man has left me teary

The dark deeds of man is all you've shown
Sorrow is all I've ever known
Please Dear God, just take me home

I went down to the land of woe
Where all the selfish people go
They all set around a banquet table
But to eat they just weren't able
Glorious food was all abound
Eagerly at that table they all sat around
But the forks and spoons where a mile long
They all cried, "this is unfair and wrong"
Try as the might
They couldn't get it right
Some where dying of hunger
They couldn't get the food to their mouths, they where going under
They couldn't  figure out how to eat
It seems this life has them beat

              Meanwhile

Just across the river nine
This is what you'll find
It's the exact same scene
Glorious food, it's so serene
They all set around a great big table
Same long utensils, but to eat they are able
Can you imagine what the difference is
Why they can eat and live like this.....................

It's a lesson we all should learn
So by ourselves we don't get burned
It's as simple as thinking of others
For my friend, they feed one another

I wrestled with my demons last night
It all was such a terrible sight
It felt like I had won the right
To just gave in and called off the fight
In this life I'm such an awful blight
And next time I might let them win
But for now I'll stay within this skin

I laid my head down last night to rest
I started feeling quiet distressed
For the voices did transgress
Screaming "your life is such a mess"
Making my brain feel like an abscess
In my memory I start to regress

Leaving me in a cold sweat
Trying to live my life is like playing roulette
The wheel I spin
But I never win
All I can think of is all the regret
How my soul is now only a silhouette

Finally  asleep
Though not to keep
My nightmares start to creep
My memories start to leak
Showing why I'm the black sheep
The freak

This life is always causing me pain
It sifts through my brain
With my emotions it plays it's game
Is it God or the universe, are they the same

Is it chance or fate
That leaves me at this gate
I can't escape
There will be no hero in a cape
For in the dark, nightmares ensues
By day they still pursues
I pick up the pieces, I try to glue
All the time looking for a clue

She sits alone contemplating her place within this universe
She thought about her live in reverse
Trying to figure out how she had got to this place
Sitting on the bridge, legs dangling into space

She stares into the crystal clear water
In her mind there would never be any imprimatur
She is in conflict of what to do
She slowly kicks off one shoe
To count how long it takes to splash down
If the concrete like water didn't **** her, would she drown

She looked out across the river to watch her last sunset
Thinking of a tragic events she couldn't forget
It was such a soft purple that got more vibrant to a bight pink center
The frost nipped at her nose, and now exposed toes, soon it would be winter

She examines her situation still not sure why
But then again everybody dies
Does our energy escape our corpses
Jets off into the cosmos and courses
Or our we just nonexistent forever in the black void
Both of these thoughts makes her overjoyed

She cracks a slight smile the first in years
In the last of autumn's sun she basks, she has no more fears
She kicks off her other shoe, grabs hold of the cold steel frame
There will be no more living in darkness and shame

She carefully climbs up on to the rail
She didn't want to fall backwards, she didn't want to fail
She spread her arms wide out to her side
Took one more look at the sky, let go and let her body glide
It was the very first time she felt free
Sheer fleeting secounds of glee

She didn't feel the bone crushing impact
As her head wide open cracked
Her body started to slowly sink
Life had pushed her past the brink
Bubbles at the surface forms as the air escapes her lungs

I hope the galaxy gives her life energy hugs
Or if in the dark abyss
I hope shes found rest, either way I know she found bliss
For her wretched life she wont miss

I give up on this life
Depression claims another soul

She takes a walk out among the trees
She's desperate to feel the cool breeze
The leaves make a sharp crunching as she walks on them
Even with the reds, oranges, and yellows, of her favorite time of year are not enough her thoughts are grim
The day on which her mother died is coming up soon
Another empty spot in her heart's rooms
She just had to die on Halloween day
Two things at once taken away

The woods she so enjoyed romping around in now she trudges through
The are tainted for she was ***** and this is where he dragged her to

A cold drizzle starts to fall
And in her head is deaths call
The bottle of pills in her pocket rattles
Reminding her of all her hard fought battles

Just days ago she was in love
Happily thinking of things to come
After thousands of messages proclaiming he's feelings
It only took one to show his true dealings
It left her heart bleeding

With everything taken away that gave her a small ounce of a smile
She decided to come out to her woods and think for awail

She sat down on the cold mossy ground
And took a good hard look around
Visions of hatred, love, loss, and invasion
Made her feel like her head was caving in
Her heart ached so bad within her chest
She couldn't take any more of what life had left

She took the bottle out of her pocket
Took off his locket
Took two mouthful of pills
Getting rid of her ills
She washed them down
Laying the necklace he gave her on the ground

She sat and listened to the song birds tweets
Here in her wooded retreat
She slowly got tired, she leaned against the tree
The autumn colors was the last thing she would see
But there was a smile on her face
As her spirit slipped silently away out into space

If
Anyone's
Going
To
Have
The
Last
Laugh

I'm
Gonna
Have
It
First

On the verge of suicide
Who would really care if I died
No one thats who
I just want to be through
A few might cry reflecting on there own lifes
But no tears for me, I was just a passerby
If I just disappeared would anybody notice
I'm counted among the hopeless
So very friendless
My life is meaningless
This life plays on my weakness
I am no longer fearless
I live in constant darkness
I'm sinking into the great abyss
And this tattered life I will not miss
So swallow down these pills I might
I'm really tired of this fight
The demons are gonna win this one
The voices I couldn't over come
It's to hard to fight them off alone
So the darkness has just grown
It was companionship that I craved
Don't leave any flowers on my grave

On the verge of suicide
Who would really care if I died
No one thats who
I just want to be through
A few might cry reflecting on there own lifes
But no tears for me, I was just a passerby
If I just disappeared would anybody notice
I'm counted among the hopeless
So very friendless
My life is meaningless
This life plays on my weakness
I am no longer fearless
I live in constant darkness
I'm sinking into the great abyss
And this tattered life I will not miss
So swallow down these pills I might
I'm really tired of this fight
The demons are gonna win this one
The voices I couldn't over come
It's to hard to fight them off alone
So the darkness has just grown
It was companionship that I craved
Don't leave any flowers on my grave

Left standing in the rain
Left with all the pain
Left with all the strain

Left with the horror show
Left while you turn and go
Left while you threw the blow

Left shackled and in chains
Left with nothing left to gain
Left with nothing in my brain

Left out in the cold
Left with the winds that blow
Left out in the snow

Left with all the grief
Left while you still reap
Left with open wounds that seep

You went off half cocked
It was me that you shot
Like an automatic machine gun
Words out of your mouth just flung
I'm bleeding out here on the ground
It's my body you keep stepping around
I was always there for you
I helped you more times than a few
But yet here I am
I'm still the one ******
For every good deed there is a punishment
You sent our friendship into banishment
So don't look you might not like what you find
For you burned that bridge, I've locked that door and left your *** behind

In this life I feel rushed and hurried a long
like a little soldier bee made to sing his song

From flower to flower, task to task
Just leave us alone is all we ask

He gathers the pollen to make the honey
I work my *** off to make the money

All his work is for the hive
Without his life they won't survive

So I take a lesson from the Bee
Cuz now I see
How everyone depends on me

But by no means, don't forget
The other lesson he has for us yet
To do this all with a happy song
And stay buzzed all day long